E
ethereality
Guest
I’m tired of receiving the Eucharist and seeming to have only a physical encounter with a bread wafer.
It seems to me that “from the eyes of faith”, i.e. speaking from the perspective of a Christian, I’m being a petulant child demanding to have my way. (“Give me something more than the Bible and more than my daily life and sufferings.”) However, from the perspective of critical thinking, trying to apply logic and reason to make sense of personal experience and reality, I think my prayers and expectations have been entirely justified, especially in light of the Gospel (see for example Matthew 7 below): What does it mean for God to be our Father if He does not interact with us in the way a father interacts with his children? “Father” is a relational term: It has meaning only in consideration of interaction with one’s children.
It seems to me that if I am God’s adopted son, then He has made me blind and deaf to Him, and I do not see how this is benevolent. If it is a trial for me to accept silence and lack of understanding, then I still do not see how it is benevolent to bring me to the brink of the abyss of apostasy, or how it is not self-contradictory to ask me to reject my reason for blind faith, or what other way there is to pass this test and remain Christian without abandoning my reason.
What is a prayer that God will answer? What can I expect from God? When am I justified in giving up on a silent, physically absent being?
I do not know how to reconcile my experience with Matthew 7; I have waited and I have tried to ‘seek first the kingdom of God’:
May I stop receiving the Eucharist? May I stop attending Mass on Sundays? Is it possible that I have not been receiving a validly consecrated Host for years? (e.g. some Japanese bishop not validly ordained, the bread wafer not being of valid form for the liturgy when I visited American churches? The Father being displeased with aspects of the congregation or liturgy and refusing to send down His Holy Spirit?)
My current answers to these questions are not satisfactory ones from the perspective of the Church:
It seems to me that “from the eyes of faith”, i.e. speaking from the perspective of a Christian, I’m being a petulant child demanding to have my way. (“Give me something more than the Bible and more than my daily life and sufferings.”) However, from the perspective of critical thinking, trying to apply logic and reason to make sense of personal experience and reality, I think my prayers and expectations have been entirely justified, especially in light of the Gospel (see for example Matthew 7 below): What does it mean for God to be our Father if He does not interact with us in the way a father interacts with his children? “Father” is a relational term: It has meaning only in consideration of interaction with one’s children.
It seems to me that if I am God’s adopted son, then He has made me blind and deaf to Him, and I do not see how this is benevolent. If it is a trial for me to accept silence and lack of understanding, then I still do not see how it is benevolent to bring me to the brink of the abyss of apostasy, or how it is not self-contradictory to ask me to reject my reason for blind faith, or what other way there is to pass this test and remain Christian without abandoning my reason.
What is a prayer that God will answer? What can I expect from God? When am I justified in giving up on a silent, physically absent being?
I do not know how to reconcile my experience with Matthew 7; I have waited and I have tried to ‘seek first the kingdom of God’:
http://www.newadvent.org/bible/mat007.htm said:7 Ask, and the gift will come; seek, and you shall find; knock, and the door shall be opened to you. 8 Everyone that asks, will receive; that seeks, will find; that knocks, will have the door opened to him. 9 If any one of yourselves is asked by his son for bread, will he give him a stone? 10 If he is asked for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead? 11 Why then, if you, evil as you are, know well enough how to give your children what is good for them, is not your Father in heaven much more ready to give wholesome gifts to those who ask him?
May I stop receiving the Eucharist? May I stop attending Mass on Sundays? Is it possible that I have not been receiving a validly consecrated Host for years? (e.g. some Japanese bishop not validly ordained, the bread wafer not being of valid form for the liturgy when I visited American churches? The Father being displeased with aspects of the congregation or liturgy and refusing to send down His Holy Spirit?)
My current answers to these questions are not satisfactory ones from the perspective of the Church:
- It means God created us with rationality and expects us to do the rest ourselves, i.e. deism.
- We cannot know what prayers God will answer.
- You cannot expect anything from God.
- You should not try to have a personal relationship with God; just accept that He exists and live a good life on your own. (deism)
- You must receive the Eucharist once during Easter, but you are obligated to attend Mass every Sunday unless ill health prevents it.*
- It is possible, because it’s not clear that God cares for His creation in a micromanaging sort of way. Rather, God gives men free reign to do good or evil.
- This seems a literal hell on Earth, to be forced to attend a place where God is supposed to be present yet not be able to encounter Him, to be forced to participate in a bad liturgy (e.g. music written for guitar being played on the keyboard of an electric organ, with lyrics like “Well, we’re all friends, yeah? but we work at different places, yeah?”) …