Faith?

[Polish]

I hope I’m posting this in the right place - if not, please someone move it.

My question is in regards to one’s Faith - with a capital F - not a faith in any tradition of any religion, but Faith in God.

Sometimes I do fine with my Faith. I pray daily, attend Mass on Sundays and Holidays, try and be charitable and compassionate to my neighbor, etc. etc. Then I have these extremely upsetting periods that invade my mind, telling me that everything that I believe of Faith is only an imagination of my mind. That there’s something wrong with me to make up these fantasies of Faith - that God really does not exist - that He even if He did, He doesn’t really care one way or the other about me - that I’m only creating crutches for myself to cope with life - that He loves mankind in general, not specific persons - but if He does loves specific persons, He is most selective.

Whenever these thoughts enter my mind, I pray for the strength of Faith, but I cannot help but worry that I feel I’m being torn apart.

So I say to myself - these are only “feelings” - that feelings are only human and that belief is stronger than feelings.

Then after wrestling within, I begin to wonder if this is a temptation. And again I pray - but still wonder if praying is futile.

See how confused I am.

I’ve been experiencing this for many, many years. I want to believe wholeheartedly, but worry that this lack of Faith is wearing me down.

I read scripture and religious books and I see where others have a dark night or dryness in there lives. If that’s what is happening - how long Dear Lord will this last!

So I offer this lack of Faith up to God, for what it’s worth.

Can anyone offer me a helping hand?

 

[mrs_abbott]

You seem to contradict yourself here. If you pray to God to help you with your Faith, then you know God to be true.

“Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!”

The devil is just trying to tempt you. What is your opinion on the Bible? Do you believe in it?
How do you think the world was created? Why are we here?

Sorry for all the questions but I need more info to understand more what you’re thinking.

 

[Polish]

Thank you for responding Mrs Abbott. Perhaps I wasn’t too clear.

“Sometimes I do fine with my Faith. I pray daily, attend Mass on Sundays and Holidays, try and be charitable and compassionate to my neighbor, etc. etc. Then I have these extremely upsetting periods …”

It is these periods of complete doubt that are troubling me. At times they last for a few weeks or a few days, though in past years it was more like a few months. When I am aware of the absence of Faith, I try to think logically and I pray that if there is a God and if He is listening to me, that whatever this is, be taken away - though these prayers seem to wane as time during these periods goes on. It seems like I’m, during these times, hanging on by a thread. I try desperately not to let go of Him. When my Faith returns, a peaceful calmness takes hold of my soul.

Reflecting on your response - "The devil is just trying to tempt you." - could be true. And if God allows this temptation, it must be for my own good. I never realized before how strongly and fiercely the devil can work. I have to admit that these bouts with doubt are gradually decreasing - but since they’ve been coming over me for over twelve plus years, I wonder sometimes when they will end. As in the present moment I fear when the next period of “unFaith” will come. I wonder too and am afraid that I may fail and my Faith will not return.

Your mention of the bible may be a good instruction. Perhaps during these times of “unFaith”, I should learn to emerse myself more in God’s word no matter what is racing through my mind or no matter how I feel. And then too, possibly this is God’s test to Trust in Him completely.

Any more advice you can give me would be appreciated.

 

[mommyof4]

Advice? I don’t have much. I struggle with these same doubts and fears myself. Especilly during the past few days. I had an argument with someone about my faith. They told me that I am inflexible and dogmatic about my faith in the fact that I attend Mass every Sunday and Holy Day of obligation. I also make my children go on these days, too. Apparently, this makes me a radical. I think it may be to the point that this person despises my show of “faith” to the point that the relationship is damaged, although I don’t know to what degree. Anyway, after I stood up to this person, defending my reasons for doing what I do, I began having doubts as to the reasonableness of my beliefs. Started doubting God and my values, etc. The best prayer I could come up with at the moment was “God, I hope this is not all for nothing. I’ll be really ticked off if at the end of my life I find out this has all been a big fat lie!” Some prayer, huh?

By the way, the person who verbally attacked me was my husband.

Polish, the best I can tell you at this point is that I think these feelings are normal at times. Let’s just learn to climb these mountains of doubt one at a time, and continue to pray.

 

[Eileen_T]

May I suggest you turn to Mary for help with this?

Satan cannot disturb you if She stands before you, and her whole purpose is to help you have a better love for her Son.

At Fatima she told the children “In the end my Immaculate Heart will triumph”.

There is a Chaplet to the Immaculate Heart of Mary which you pray as follows:

First Set of Beads
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

“Blessed be the Holy and Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary.”

The Our Father once, Hail Mary four times, Gloria once.

Second Set - Same prayers.

Third Set - Same prayers

 

[mrs_abbott]

Thank you for responding Mrs Abbott. Perhaps I wasn’t too clear.

“Sometimes I do fine with my Faith. I pray daily, attend Mass on Sundays and Holidays, try and be charitable and compassionate to my neighbor, etc. etc. Then I have these extremely upsetting periods …”

It is these periods of complete doubt that are troubling me. At times they last for a few weeks or a few days, though in past years it was more like a few months. When I am aware of the absence of Faith, I try to think logically and I pray that if there is a God and if He is listening to me, that whatever this is, be taken away - though these prayers seem to wane as time during these periods goes on. It seems like I’m, during these times, hanging on by a thread. I try desperately not to let go of Him. When my Faith returns, a peaceful calmness takes hold of my soul.

In light of this, I don’t think you’re doubting God’s existence. It sounds like you are doubting his ability maybe to answer prayers? Are you questioning why things happen in the world and therefore questioning God’s will? If so, it’s perfectly natural to do this. God ALWAYS hears us and answers our prayers, just not always how we would like Him to.

Polish:

Reflecting on your response - "The devil is just trying to tempt you." - could be true. And if God allows this temptation, it must be for my own good. I never realized before how strongly and fiercely the devil can work. I have to admit that these bouts with doubt are gradually decreasing - but since they’ve been coming over me for over twelve plus years, I wonder sometimes when they will end. As in the present moment I fear when the next period of “unFaith” will come. I wonder too and am afraid that I may fail and my Faith will not return.

I know this is easier said than done but try not to think about it. Focus on the good and the positive. The devil WANTS you to feel bad and miserable because that causes you to doubt God and when you do that, the devil is pulling you towards him.
As long as you pray continuously, you will always have Faith. Just pray that you can have a stronger Faith. God will listen to you and help you. Don’t be surprised though if He makes you go through some more “tough times”. The low points in our lives can strengthen us. Just offer it up as your cross to bear.

Polish:

Your mention of the bible may be a good instruction. Perhaps during these times of “unFaith”, I should learn to emerse myself more in God’s word no matter what is racing through my mind or no matter how I feel. And then too, possibly this is God’s test to Trust in Him completely.

Any more advice you can give me would be appreciated.

I would suggest just opening up the Bible and thumbing through it the next time you find yourself doubting. Read the gospels of Matthew and John. They have good accounts of the life of Jesus, plus some encouraging words. I also recommend 1 Peter.
Heck, if you ever want to talk about the Bible, feel free to pm me. I recently started reading it more myself and find it to be comforting when my mind is troubled.

 

[Polish]

Thank you all for your comforting and understanding words.
I’m bookmarking this thread so that in my time of need I’ll reread it again.

 

[Suat]

Hi Polish,
It appears that you are beginning to question your religion and the foundations that it has been built upon. This is not a bad thing, in and of itself and you will likely emerge from this period with either a stronger, deeper understanding of your Faith, or without your Faith, as an agnostic/atheist/deist etc. Great choices, eh?

Neither road is easy, nor can anyone provide you with all the answers to your questions. One thing to remember is that many others have been down this path. Mine led to atheism, although I am sure many here were led to religion.

For me, one thing that I found useful was discussing theology and philosophy with a variety of religious scholars: Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist etc. Perhaps you can find a priest or deacon who is willing discuss theology and your questions and concerns openly over an extended period of time? If there is a monastery or abbey close by that is open to visitors, then that can also be a very useful place for contemplation.