Fallen Away Catholic friend

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StephenBales

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Hey CAF, thanks in advance for your responses.

So I have a friend at school who’s a Catholic. I myself have read my way into the Church over the summer (former Baptist), so though it isn’t official yet, I call myself a Catholic whenever it comes up. Which, fortunately, seems to be more often than usual…
Back to the point. The friend in question is a gal I’ve had a crush on since my sophomore year, I’m now a senior. I didn’t know she was a Catholic specifically, only a Christian, until she made an Instagram post and she happened to have several pictures of a Catholic Church. I thought this wasn’t really evidence enough, so I asked her about it. When I asked, she seemed resentful, or at least disillusioned, saying she was brought up in it, but now really only goes to hang out with friends and help out. She really just “places more value on science” (didn’t have time to clarify, she had to go to class 🤷‍♂️). Before I learned she was Catholic, I could honestly see myself marrying this girl. When I saw the Instagram post, I was ecstatic. Now, I still could, but I know that first I need to pray lots, and see how I might change her mind.
So that’s really my question. How do you evangelize a fallen away teenage Catholic, without yourself being officially catechized? And should I even be the one to do this, both because of my feelings for her, and the gender difference?

Thanks in advance.
Dominus vobiscum.

EDIT: Also, and I’m not sure how relevant this will be, she’s had a sorta rough upbringing. I can’t go into too much detail, but Mom isn’t fully present, and Dad also is a less-than-enthusiastic Catholic.
 
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I would simply demonstrate the Christian virtues with her, and explain the reasons why faith is consistent with science, not opposed to it. Pray, pray, pray and be charitable.

Oh, and patient.

Have you gone to adoration yet? Amazing. The Presence of Christ. A taste of heaven on earth. Miraculous.

One day, you can invite her along - she can read her science text! 😁
 
po18guy said:
Have you gone to adoration yet?
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Oh, I deeply wish I was able to right now. I’ve only given hints at my conversion to my father by way of poking and prodding at the Five Solae, various Baptist traditions (I even got him to admit temperate drinking is fine!!), etc.
Thank you for the advice. We normally only see each other in passing period and sometimes at lunch, but I recently got a job with her at the same restaurant, so hopefully I’ll have plenty of time
 
You can discuss with her the fact that the Church pursues truth in all forms including scientific and that the Church began many of the oldest universities in the western world including Oxford and Cambridge; How education has always been a virtue in the Church and educates more people than any other institution worldwide. Also, Georges Lemaitre a Belgian priest, astronomer and professor of physics at the Catholic University of Leuven came up with the theory that the universe was expanding and the Big Bang.
 
And not to forget the founder of the science of genetics, Gregor Mendel, a scientist, Augustinian friar and abbot of St. Thomas’ Abbey in Brno.

Opposed to science? You have to look to fundamentalism to find that…
 
Is there a Catholic Newman Center on campus? Yes? Then you can make time for our Lord, Who resides there. If not, chances are that a Catholic parish is within walking distance. Adoration of Christ in the Most Blessed Sacrament is by far the best kept secret in all of Christianity.
 
I wish there were something like that on campus. It’s a public school. And there is, sort of, it’s about 5mi away. That isn’t too far to walk, but my parents must know wherever we go, so it’s be difficult to go without lying.
I’m not trying to make excuses, though. I’ve thought lots on how I can get more of the faith. Most I can get right now is the many many writings, prayer, Ascension Presents and EWTN on YouTube, etc
 
If you want to use this opportunity to start a conversation with her it is best you ask questions and then listen to her. Like for example “why do you think science and religion are exclusive of one another?”
 
StephenBales said:
Before I learned she was Catholic, I could honestly see myself marrying this girl.
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You’re a senior in high school? I really don’t think this girl probably has marriage on her mind and you are putting the cart way before the horse. Crush to marriage is a LONG distance endeavor.

What you are learning here is that compatibility in your faith life is important, because it is the very foundation of a marriage. Take this lesson and tuck it away for when you are older and tempted to date or be serious about people who do not share the Catholic faith and the practice of the faith, people who do not share your vision for marriage and family. That is an indication that this person is not a good marriage prospect.

Regarding evangelization, yes we should evangelize, mostly by our example. But of course, we can discuss religion with those who show an interest in learning more about the Catholic faith. You aren’t really in a position to do that right now. You should not use dating as a method of evangelizing, this is called “missionary dating”. It’s manipulative to get someone’s feeling involved and then try to convince them to become your same religion. It happens a lot, but it isn’t an honorable thing to do.
 
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Woooaaah, no no, I wasn’t trying for dating advice, that was only for context. I’m not trying to date her right now, I’m much more interested in helping her back to the Catholic Church. If she intends to stay out of the Church, I would agree, it doesn’t look good for us, but that’s irrelevant. My intent is to lead her back in. When/if she comes back, maybe a relationship lies in the future, but that’s not my concern right now.

I’m not here for dating advice. If she comes back to the faith AND we end up together, great, but it will necessarily be in that order.
 
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No one can come to Jesus unless the Father calls him (her). You ought to pray for yourself and her. You might have to work on identifying the obstacles to her being an active Catholic.

I think you can only propose activities to her and see if she is interested.
 
There is never any harm in modelling a good Catholic life and inviting someone to your church when practical. Keep her in your prayers too.
 
The best way of evangelization doesn’t come about through talking and debates and stuff like that. The best way is to live the holiness that God calls you to live.
 
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