Falling back into porn again

[WoundedIcon]

I used to have a bad porn habit that I somehow went cold turkey from a few years ago, but now I’m slipping up again, and more often as time goes by. I don’t know if I’m curious then get in too deep, if I just want the pleasure, or I’m doing it because I’m lonely. All I know is that, growing up unchurched, lust and masturbation don’t strike me at a heart level as wrong. I always saw them as natural. I feel like I need more positive motivation instead of just avoiding it because God says it’s wrong. I need a positive goal to aim toward, a good reason to not do these things, instead of just the “negative virtue” of avoiding them. What does a positive, active chastity look like, ya know?

 

[psuedocenturian]

Hosea 4:11
11-14 “Wine and whiskey
leave my people in a stupor.
They ask questions of a dead tree,
expect answers from a sturdy walking stick.
Drunk on sex, they can’t find their way home.
They’ve replaced their God with their genitals.
They worship on the tops of mountains,
make a picnic out of religion.
Under the oaks and elms on the hills
they stretch out and take it easy.
Before you know it, your daughters are whores
and the wives of your sons are sleeping around.
But I’m not going after your whoring daughters
or the adulterous wives of your sons.
It’s the men who pick up the whores that I’m after,
the men who worship at the holy whorehouses—
a stupid people, ruined by whores!

Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction: Part 1 of 6

 

[HoosMommie]

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

 

[Michael57]

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

 

[Trishie]

Lord Jesus please heal and aid him as he struggles humbly towards You.

Saint Michael I ask your powerful intercession and protection for this person as he takes practical and prayer steps to live according to his calling as a Christian.

 

[Edmundus1581]

Hail Mary, full of grace…

---

…All I know is that, growing up unchurched, lust and masturbation don’t strike me at a heart level as wrong. I always saw them as natural…

That is a very common experience.

I feel like I need more positive motivation instead of just avoiding it because God says it’s wrong. I need a positive goal to aim toward, a good reason to not do these things, instead of just the “negative virtue” of avoiding them. What does a positive, active chastity look like, ya know?

You expressed your problem very well!

Only you can decide whether you can do it on your own (with God), or not.

Most of us need other people to help us recover from addictions.

With alcohol there are numerous options for support and counselling, as this problem is recognised by the government. Moderation and positive motivation, with support, works for some people.

For porn addiction it is much harder to get support. There’s no government funding, and counsellors are likely to tell you that it’s OK or even “healthy” in moderation. Seriously, the only effective support I know of is Sexaholics Anonymous. The good news is their definition of sexual sobriety is entirely consistent with Catholic “chastity”. In it, you’ll hear numerous stories of how giving up lust leads to a better life - spiritually and in every other way. (One day at a time). The bad news is that it only works if you embrace the whole program (which is a lot of work) - but you don’t have to make that decision all at once.

It’s easy join a phone meeting as a listener.

I am six months sexually sober with Sexaholics Anonymous.

I will pray for you, WoundedIcon. God bless you!

 

[Beryllos]

Don’t know if this will help, but I have managed to steer clear of porn after realizing that there is no love in it. The actors and actresses don’t love each other, probably the opposite. There is no joy, or hope, or happiness in it. For me, the images are exciting but hollow and emotionally unfulfilling. Porn feeds a fantasy, but when I think of the reality of those unfortunate people acting it out on command in front of cameras, and you can often see that they are not enjoying it, it makes me sad and kind of takes the gloss off the fantasy. As time goes by, I think I am increasingly motivated by love. I want to have real connections to real people. Maybe that could be the positive approach you are looking for. Anyway, brother, I’m praying for you. May the Holy Spirit assist and guide you always toward a life of peace and love.

 

[ChrisRedfield47]

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death
Amen.

St. Jude, pray for him!

 

[Cruxis117]

I used to have a bad porn habit that I somehow went cold turkey from a few years ago, but now I’m slipping up again, and more often as time goes by. I don’t know if I’m curious then get in too deep, if I just want the pleasure, or I’m doing it because I’m lonely. All I know is that, growing up unchurched, lust and masturbation don’t strike me at a heart level as wrong. I always saw them as natural. I feel like I need more positive motivation instead of just avoiding it because God says it’s wrong. I need a positive goal to aim toward, a good reason to not do these things, instead of just the “negative virtue” of avoiding them. What does a positive, active chastity look like, ya know?

I really would recommend going to the “BadCatholic” blog by Marc Barnes, he writes about chastity in a way that I think would encourage you greatly. Also check out Jason Evert and Christopher West, they have some great material as well.

Here’s the positive motivation; God has created you for love. What I mean is that you are destined to love; whether that is through the vocation of marriage or the vocation of the priesthood or the vocation of the single-religious life, I can’t say for sure. But I can say that all three involve loving someone. And love is a fundamental recognition of who the beloved is.

Think about it in the way that Jesus loves you. Jesus sees you as who you are- He can’t be fooled. He sees both your failures and your successes, your sins and your virtues. And He doesn’t love you for any of those reasons, though how those play into your relationship with Him is important. He loves you because of who you are to Him, your very existence is for the purpose of being loved by Jesus, by God, and loving Him in return.

Now, when you love someone, you need to see them as who they are. The problem with this is our concupiscent nature; we are tempted to indulge our disordered passions. Loving someone for who they are can turn into lusting after someone for what they can give. Looking at porn and masturbating is essentially looking at those people and saying “I don’t care about you for who you are. I don’t care where you grew up, I don’t care how you got into this, I only want what you can give me and what you can do for me.”

Now, look at love; it is essentially looking at these people and saying “I don’t care about you for what you can give me, I don’t care where you grew up, I don’t care how you got into this, I only want you because of who you are to me.” See how close those two are? Yet they are light-years apart. This love is what we are to strive towards. This love is worth dying for. This is the kind of love that makes God Himself become a human being and have everyone betray Him, leave Him and humiliate Him in front of those he cares about the most. This is the kind of love that matters.

You want something positive to stop watching porn? I know that you’ve probably been told that yes, those people involved in porn are actually human beings, that they have family and friends, and those things are true. But what you need to think about and remember is that at the end of the day, have you really cared about these people for who they are? Do you want them to experience this love that you have been told? If you do, then you can’t lust for them. You can be sexually attracted to them, that’s a normal and good thing; however, you’re called to not just be attracted to them, you’re called to love those people, so that they may know that love that God has for them and for you.

I will pray a rosary for you. Keep strong! Don’t give up. I’m a recovering porn addict myself, I understand your struggle. Remember that Jesus loves you very much and that He loves those poor people in porn very much too, and He wants you and them to be free to really know love as you were created to know.

 

[awsiukiewicz]

I used to have a bad porn habit that I somehow went cold turkey from a few years ago, but now I’m slipping up again, and more often as time goes by. I don’t know if I’m curious then get in too deep, if I just want the pleasure, or I’m doing it because I’m lonely. All I know is that, growing up unchurched, lust and masturbation don’t strike me at a heart level as wrong. I always saw them as natural. I feel like I need more positive motivation instead of just avoiding it because God says it’s wrong. I need a positive goal to aim toward, a good reason to not do these things, instead of just the “negative virtue” of avoiding them. What does a positive, active chastity look like, ya know?

 

[awsiukiewicz]

I am a recovering addict/alkie (in active recovery) so I can relate to some degree…a while back I happened upon some stuff on cable late at night and it drew me in…then I went so far as to pay per view some porn…I must admit the attraction…I realized that it was similar to anything else I would be drawn to…I couldn’t even finish the program…I felt dirty after and went to confession asap after…porn imprints on the brain…studies have shown that it actually changes the shape of the brain…neuroplasticity…in recovery…repeating certain phrases/prayers/meditating…works the same way…we cut certain circuitry in our brain…same effect as playing the piano…the same pathways…bottom line is…I avoid the near occasion of sin…not sure if you are married…but this can seriously injure your relationship w/ your spouse…a numbing effect…think about the intimacy with your spouse and try to relate that to the activities that go on in a porn movie…no good comes from this trash…I will pray for you…on yr name on this site…I will offer a Holy Rosary for you my friend…I no longer am drawn to porn…and I thank God…I believe, and there is some philosophical point that states that we as humans inherently know right from wrong…on some level…I believe this…this is evidenced by observing very small children at play expressing remorse or joy or empathy over a playmate…not learned behavior…anyway…I’m rambling but I always picture Christ on the cross…loving me that much…then I picture my beautiful wife, and remind myself that she is the mother of my children…I always try to imagine myself being in the presence of my children…is this behavior something I would want my children to see me doing…or God for that matter…PAX

 

[nahbios]

Try these guys: the Serenellians. Their website is excellent.

God bless…

 

[thyrodandstaff]

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Queen of Angels, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, filled with the mercy of God, etc.
Saint Raphael, perfect adorer of the Divine Word,
Saint Raphael, terror of demons,
Saint Raphael, exterminator of vices,
Saint Raphael, health of the sick,
Saint Raphael, our refuge in all our trials,
Saint Raphael, guide of travelers,
Saint Raphael, consoler of prisoners,
Saint Raphael, joy of the sorrowful,
Saint Raphael, filled with zeal for the salvation of souls,
Saint Raphael, whose name means God heals,
Saint Raphael, lover of chastity,
Saint Raphael, scourge of demons,
Saint Raphael, in pestilence, famine and war,
Saint Raphael, angel of peace and prosperity,
Saint Raphael, endowed with the grace of healing,
Saint Raphael, sure guide in the paths of virtue and sanctification,
Saint Raphael, help of all those who implore your assistance,
Saint Raphael, who was the guide and consolation of Tobias on his journey,
Saint Raphael, whom the Scriptures praise: Raphael, the holy angel of the Lord, was sent to cure,
Saint Raphael, our advocate,
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
Pray for us, Saint Raphael, to the Lord Our God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ
Lord, Jesus Christ, by the prayer of the Archangel Raphael, grant us the grace to avoid all sin and to persevere in every good work until we reach our heavenly destination, You Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.

 

[psuedocenturian]

I really would recommend going to the “BadCatholic” blog by Marc Barnes, he writes about chastity in a way that I think would encourage you greatly. Also check out Jason Evert and Christopher West, they have some great material as well.

Here’s the positive motivation; God has created you for love. What I mean is that you are destined to love; whether that is through the vocation of marriage or the vocation of the priesthood or the vocation of the single-religious life, I can’t say for sure. But I can say that all three involve loving someone. And love is a fundamental recognition of who the beloved is.

Think about it in the way that Jesus loves you. Jesus sees you as who you are- He can’t be fooled. He sees both your failures and your successes, your sins and your virtues. And He doesn’t love you for any of those reasons, though how those play into your relationship with Him is important. He loves you because of who you are to Him, your very existence is for the purpose of being loved by Jesus, by God, and loving Him in return.

Now, when you love someone, you need to see them as who they are. The problem with this is our concupiscent nature; we are tempted to indulge our disordered passions. Loving someone for who they are can turn into lusting after someone for what they can give. Looking at porn and masturbating is essentially looking at those people and saying “I don’t care about you for who you are. I don’t care where you grew up, I don’t care how you got into this, I only want what you can give me and what you can do for me.”

Now, look at love; it is essentially looking at these people and saying “I don’t care about you for what you can give me, I don’t care where you grew up, I don’t care how you got into this, I only want you because of who you are to me.” See how close those two are? Yet they are light-years apart. This love is what we are to strive towards. This love is worth dying for. This is the kind of love that makes God Himself become a human being and have everyone betray Him, leave Him and humiliate Him in front of those he cares about the most. This is the kind of love that matters.

You want something positive to stop watching porn? I know that you’ve probably been told that yes, those people involved in porn are actually human beings, that they have family and friends, and those things are true. But what you need to think about and remember is that at the end of the day, have you really cared about these people for who they are? Do you want them to experience this love that you have been told? If you do, then you can’t lust for them. You can be sexually attracted to them, that’s a normal and good thing; however, you’re called to not just be attracted to them, you’re called to love those people, so that they may know that love that God has for them and for you.

I will pray a rosary for you. Keep strong! Don’t give up. I’m a recovering porn addict myself, I understand your struggle. Remember that Jesus loves you very much and that He loves those poor people in porn very much too, and He wants you and them to be free to really know love as you were created to know.

Amen.
The Objectification of human beings. They become objects. A huge…HUGE problem in society.

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Your Name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Amen

 

[anoopathidhi]

I am also having porn addiction. I have to get rid of it.I am Taking an oath that i will defnitely recover from these addictions

 

[Happy_B]

Very good post to the link by pseudocenturian, just would like to add two more:

The demise of guys? - 4:47 min video:

The Great porn experiment - TED talk on symptoms of porn users:

God bless you!

 

[TCinKC]

I am also having porn addiction. I have to get rid of it.I am Taking an oath that i will defnitely recover from these addictions

I’m praying for you, my freind. I don’t know if there are options in India, but there are support groups here in the states. I reccommend you speak with your pastor and see.

I also reccomend checking out mattfradd.com. He has several blogs on this topic, as well as CD’s/DVD’s/Books

 

[TCinKC]

I used to have a bad porn habit that I somehow went cold turkey from a few years ago, but now I’m slipping up again, and more often as time goes by. I don’t know if I’m curious then get in too deep, if I just want the pleasure, or I’m doing it because I’m lonely. All I know is that, growing up unchurched, lust and masturbation don’t strike me at a heart level as wrong. I always saw them as natural. I feel like I need more positive motivation instead of just avoiding it because God says it’s wrong. I need a positive goal to aim toward, a good reason to not do these things, instead of just the “negative virtue” of avoiding them. What does a positive, active chastity look like, ya know?

Friend, I advise checking out mattfradd.com. He has several good blogs as well as cd’s/dvd’s and books. In addition, I wouild talk to your pastor.

Praying for you!

 

[JMJ_Telcontar]

Praying that the Lord may guide you and strengthen you with all necessary graces and enable you to overcome porn.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen