Falling for an Orthodox girl

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malfunkshun

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Hello all. I am not Catholic. In fact, I am undecided on the whole concept of God. However, I am not averse to the possibility, but I have a mental block which makes it difficult for me to believe.

I have recently met an Orthodox Catholic girl and am very close to falling in love with her. I realize that it would be difficult for anything to develop between us unless I too were an Orthodox Catholic.

I have spent a lot of time with her recently and am learning that it is a very serious undertaking to embrace the Orthodox faith, requiring up to several years of… well, observance, I guess… before one is even considered for Baptism. I don’t know if I can do this, but if I could, I would. Not only for her, but for myself too.

I was raised Methodist, and If it weren’t for meeting her, I never would have even considered entertaining the extremely remote possibility of someone like me becoming an Orthodox Catholic. My main motivation is her, but I have always been lost and searching.

I still have some time to nip this in the bud before I really put myself into a hard situation. Does anyone have any advice?
 
To clarify–is the young lady Eastern Orthodox or Catholic? The two churches are different, and I’m confused as to whether you’re using the term “Orthodox Catholic” to mean “Traditional Catholic”.

To convert to either church after being raised in the Protestant faith is indeed a serious undertaking. I entered the Orthodox Church after being raised Catholic, and in that case the priest only required that I be a catechumen and study for six months, since there are more similarities between Catholic and Orthodox that between Protestant and Orthodox…but every parish is different.

To become a Catholic, one must take RCIA classes and study, usually for a year or so, again, depending on the parish and the priest. My father in law was received into the Catholic faith (after being raised outside of any church) after a year of RCIA classes. But then, he was married to a devout Catholic for forty years, and I think the priest figured he had possibly absorbed quite a bit via osmosis. 😉

One should never convert to a faith simply to gain a relationship. I knew a lovely Orthodox woman who was married to a non-Orthodox gentleman; he had offered to convert when they married, but she said, “You only convert if it is calling to you; don’t do it for me!” They had a very happy marriage, raising their children in the Orthodox church, and I don’t think he ever converted.
 
She refers to it as Orthodox Catholic. The way she explained it to me, it is Eastern Orthodox but still Catholic. So, Eastern Orthodox would be correct, I think. She said that the Orthodox church seperated from the Pope over a disagreement over the holy trinity, specifically the importance of the holy spirit. I hope that clears things up.

That’s heartening to hear about a relationship between an Orthodox woman and a man not of her church. The woman I’m speaking of told me that it is generally frowned upon for someone who is Orthodox to have a relationship with or marry someone who is not. I have been really torn up over it lately. However, she did say that she was not personally against being with someone who was not Orthodox.

Thanks for explaining that about the classes. Yet another bit of information I didn’t know yet. As I said, I would not be averse to being a part of any religion which I felt was right, inclucing Eastern Orthodox, but I moved away from God many years ago due to some bad experiences that I won’t go into, that is, unless anyone is interested. After that, it was just a general knowledge of science and the craving for substantial proof that has built up the mental block. I would love more than anything for it to be possible for me to believe in God. I mean, who wouldn’t want for there to be an omnipotent creator who loves each of us individually? It would be a great comfort.

Thanks again for the advice and information.
 
samcarter14 said:
One should never convert to a faith simply to gain a relationship. I knew a lovely Orthodox woman who was married to a non-Orthodox gentleman; he had offered to convert when they married, but she said, “You only convert if it is calling to you; don’t do it for me!” They had a very happy marriage, raising their children in the Orthodox church, and I don’t think he ever converted.
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I fully agree. To convert to any religion just to gain any relationship is a bad idea. The situation cited above worked out because the husband agreed to allow his wife to raise the children in the Church, but there are many other marriages which suffer because one spouse fights against the other regarding the faith, especially when children come along. I’d end the relationship if I were convinced I would not ever convert.
 
malfunkshun said:
Thanks for explaining that about the classes. Yet another bit of information I didn’t know yet. As I said, I would not be averse to being a part of any religion which I felt was right, inclucing Eastern Orthodox, but I moved away from God many years ago due to some bad experiences that I won’t go into, that is, unless anyone is interested. After that, it was just a general knowledge of science and the craving for substantial proof that has built up the mental block. I would love more than anything for it to be possible for me to believe in God. I mean, who wouldn’t want for there to be an omnipotent creator who loves each of us individually? It would be a great comfort.

Thanks again for the advice and information.
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All I would say is, take another look at Christianity. You have moved away from the Methodist tradition you grew up in, but take a look at the Catholic Church and the Bible afresh. We are not closing our eyes to substantial proof, not by a long shot. There is a trail of evidence and living witnesses streching all the way back to Jesus’ original disciples. That chain of witnesses, called apostolic succession, is shared by both Catholics and Orthodox.

I can see that your girlfriend’s faith is making you think again about your values in life. Whether or not you are in the same institutional church is something that people can work around, but when one partner has their eyes fixed on God and the other doesn’t even believe He exists, that puts a huge strain on any relationship, no matter what religion is involved. It’s best to be aware of that in advance. I hope this whole experience leads you back to faith in God, and in Jesus Christ His Son, our Lord.
 
sheila0405 said:
I fully agree. To convert to any religion just to gain any relationship is a bad idea. The situation cited above worked out because the husband agreed to allow his wife to raise the children in the Church, but there are many other marriages which suffer because one spouse fights against the other regarding the faith, especially when children come along. I’d end the relationship if I were convinced I would not ever convert.
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I’m not convinced I would not ever convert. She invited me to her church, and she thought that passover (she had a different word for it and said it refered to Easter instead of the traditional passover of the old testament) would be a nice service to attend. I am looking forward to going and experiencing an Orthodox service. She said she enjoys observing the ‘culture shock’ that visitors experience. 😛

If, and this is a BIG if, we were actually to ever get married and have kids, I wouldn’t be against raising them to be Orthodox. I’m not prejudiced against any religion, from Catholicism to Bhuddism.

Does anyone else care to chime in? I look forward to hearing what a lot of people who are more knowledgable than me have to say.
DL82 said:
I hope this whole experience leads you back to faith in God, and in Jesus Christ His Son, our Lord.
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I was kind of hoping that too. Thanks.
 
In Turkey a Top Model of a muslim woman married a Greek Orthodox pop star and as far as I know she was immediately baptised and taken into the Orthodox Church because the family of the pop star was strict about religion and sacraments.

Orthodox Church is strict in many ways but they disappointed me with this action of theirs.

You should not choose your way yes because of your relationship only. But this could also be your way too. No one can know it. Your destiny.

But if your way is to become an Orthodox I do not understand why you are asking this question in a Catholic Forum. Because terms Eastern Catholicism and Orthodoxy are different.
 
malfunkshun said:
She refers to it as Orthodox Catholic. The way she explained it to me, it is Eastern Orthodox but still Catholic. So, Eastern Orthodox would be correct, I think. She said that the Orthodox church seperated from the Pope over a disagreement over the holy trinity, specifically the importance of the holy spirit. I hope that clears things up
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I think what you are describing is actually and Eastern Catholic, rather than Eastern Orthodox Church. Its confusing, as you have noticed, because obviously both groups claim their beliefs to be “orthodox” (right belief) and “catholic” (universal).

I would ask here again very clearly; if her Church, whatever she describes it as, is an Eastern Catholic Church if it is communion with the Pope of Rome. If it in not in communion with the Pope of Rome it is Eastern Orthodox. She is right in her very simple explanation: the Eastern Orthodox is no longer in communion, following a number of disputes, one of which concerns the Holy Spirit.

Also, if she is rather educated about these things, ask her the name of her Bishop and/or Patriarch. Then you can either tell us and we can look those up, or you can look them up for yourself (I don’t know how much you know about bishops and patriarchs) and tell you what Church she belongs to.
 
malfunkshun said:
She refers to it as Orthodox Catholic. The way she explained it to me, it is Eastern Orthodox but still Catholic. So, Eastern Orthodox would be correct, I think. She said that the Orthodox church seperated from the Pope over a disagreement over the holy trinity, specifically the importance of the holy spirit. I hope that clears things up.
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No. Both the Eastern Catholics and some of the Eastern Orthodox use the term.

It sounds like she’s Eastern Catholic.
 
Just be aware that if you marry an Orthodox/Eastern Catholic, you’ll have to indirectly “put up” with a lot of the requirements of the Church- she will be fasting about half the year, she won’t use birth control (if she is indeed Catholic), she’ll need to go to Divine Liturgy every Sunday and holy day, etc.
 
Aramis said:
No. Both the Eastern Catholics and some of the Eastern Orthodox use the term.

It sounds like she’s Eastern Catholic.
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I don’t think so. He pointed out very clearly she stated her Church separated from pope or something to that effect. That would mean that she is not Eastern Catholic.

In Christ,
Andrew
 
Harpazo said:
I don’t think so. He pointed out very clearly she stated her Church separated from pope or something to that effect. That would mean that she is not Eastern Catholic.

In Christ,
Andrew
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No, he said that the Orthodox Church seperated from the pope. He never explicitly said that she was Eastern Orthodox, because he said she explained it as “Orthodox but still Catholic”

Which could be either one (note the caps): “Eastern Orthodox but still catholic,” or “orthodox but still Catholic.”
 
I would suggest your getting into contact and talking with her priest on this. Most likely he will be able to understand your personal situation and recommend to you a program of study which fits your particular case.
 
I think the first thing you should do is find out where you stand regarding God. If you decide you want to enter into a relationship with Him, you need to invite Him into your life. Pray for guidance regarding your concerns. Do you think there is a possibility this could be God’s way of helping get you back on track spiritually?

I think you also need to clarify which religion she follows, if, indeed, Christianity is something you decide to come back to. If it is Eastern Orthodox, realize that the purpose of marriage focuses on the spiritual path and a seeking after God, so this could be ideal if you are interested in re-awakening your Christianity!

I would be interested in hearing about your bad experiences if you feel like sharing.
 
An this is that different from “our” Catholic church? 🙂
JuanCarlos said:
Just be aware that if you marry an Orthodox/Eastern Catholic, you’ll have to indirectly “put up” with a lot of the requirements of the Church- she will be fasting about half the year, she won’t use birth control (if she is indeed Catholic), she’ll need to go to Divine Liturgy every Sunday and holy day, etc.
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LeroyCRHP said:
An this is that different from “our” Catholic church? 🙂
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True. The main difference is the fasting. We fast for two days (Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). Orthodox fast for about half the year and are near vegan on fast days.
 
JuanCarlos said:
True. The main difference is the fasting. We fast for two days (Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). Orthodox fast for about half the year and are near vegan on fast days.
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Us Eastern Catholics also fast for about half the year and are also vegans on fast days. 🙂
 
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