Falling for an Orthodox girl

[Aramis]

Us Eastern Catholics also fast for about half the year and are also vegans on fast days.

Not quite. Ruthenians traditionaly may eat fish on fast days, only apply strict fast on 3 days per week in fasting seasons.

Russian orthodox are permitted nothing with a spine throughout all of great lent, even sundays. Lots of arthropods (crab, shrimp). They also consume no oil nor milk, not even for cooking. So lots of stews and grilling of those Arthropods and veggies.

 

[block]

Hello all. I am not Catholic. In fact, I am undecided on the whole concept of God. However, I am not averse to the possibility, but I have a mental block which makes it difficult for me to believe.

I have recently met an Orthodox Catholic girl and am very close to falling in love with her. I realize that it would be difficult for anything to develop between us unless I too were an Orthodox Catholic.

I have spent a lot of time with her recently and am learning that it is a very serious undertaking to embrace the Orthodox faith, requiring up to several years of… well, observance, I guess… before one is even considered for Baptism. I don’t know if I can do this, but if I could, I would. Not only for her, but for myself too.

I was raised Methodist, and If it weren’t for meeting her, I never would have even considered entertaining the extremely remote possibility of someone like me becoming an Orthodox Catholic. My main motivation is her, but I have always been lost and searching.

I still have some time to nip this in the bud before I really put myself into a hard situation. Does anyone have any advice?

Well, I would have to say that until you are ready to convert to Catholicism for the right reasons than you probably should not do it. But, if you have been searching, than maybe it is a sign from God? Who knows, but you will only truely convert when you believe. And, I am also Eastern Orthodox, and I read in one of your posts that she says we have seperated from the Pope, this was true, but in recent years have reunited with the Roman Church. So she may not be Eastern Rite. Good luck, but I think that God will guide you if you allow Him to.

 

[samcarter14]

Not quite. Ruthenians traditionaly may eat fish on fast days, only apply strict fast on 3 days per week in fasting seasons.

Russian orthodox are permitted nothing with a spine throughout all of great lent, even sundays. Lots of arthropods (crab, shrimp). They also consume no oil nor milk, not even for cooking. So lots of stews and grilling of those Arthropods and veggies.

My husband fasts like an Orthodox, then, because not even fish on fast days around here. I think he got into the habit when we were Orthodox, and is continuing it. He considers fish to be an animal, just as beef or pork, and proceeds that way.

We abstain from animal products Wednesday and Friday throughout the year, except when it is a festal season and fasting is prohibited. That’s just how our family rolls, I guess.

 

[Aramis]

My husband fasts like an Orthodox, then, because not even fish on fast days around here. I think he got into the habit when we were Orthodox, and is continuing it. He considers fish to be an animal, just as beef or pork, and proceeds that way.

We abstain from animal products Wednesday and Friday throughout the year, except when it is a festal season and fasting is prohibited. That’s just how our family rolls, I guess.

Many choose to go beyond the required fast, or even the traditional fast, for their ethnic church.

Nothing wrong with that.

Likewise, many Russian Orthodox get dispensations from their strict fast…

The norms are not the sole definition.

 

[Aramis]

Actually, no matter what, dispensations or conversion will be needed for valid and licit marriage.

If she’s Orthodox, he’ll need to convert or she’ll need a dispensation.

If she’s EC, she’ll need a dispensation to marry a non-catholic, but that is easily obtained, or he’ll need to go through instructions in the faith while taking premarital instructions.

 

[malfunkshun]

No, he said that the Orthodox Church seperated from the pope. He never explicitly said that she was Eastern Orthodox, because he said she explained it as “Orthodox but still Catholic”

Which could be either one (note the caps): “Eastern Orthodox but still catholic,” or “orthodox but still Catholic.”

No, harpazo is right.

To answer a common question… she is Eastern Orthodox. No question about it. Her church is seperated from the Pope. And the reason why I posted this thread here, since somebody asked, is because I didn’t know any better. It wasn’t my intention to purposefully post a thread in the wrong forum.

I went to her church the other night. It was definitely interesting. Lots of chanting, the priest blessed the church with holy water, there was a communion. It lasted for 3 hours. It was my first service and I stood up the entire time. Afterwards I got a lot of pats on the back for sticking it out.

And I never realized how complex this could be. I talked to her (the girl in question) last night and asked her about the reconcilliation with the Pope, as I had heard something about it. She said that it would probably never happen, as the Roman Catholics would have to give up too much.

Triciacat: The negative experience I had occurred when I was quite young and impressionable. I grew up in a Methodist church and every year what’s called a ‘circuit rider’ would visit our church and preach some night sermons. I was only about 9 years old at the time, so I don’t remember much more than that. Anyway, he was very loud and aggressive and he scared the pants off of me, to be honest. I didn’t like going to his sermons, but my mom and dad made me go. I was shakining with fear every time, and then the worst finally happened. He called on people to come up and be saved. He threatened us with eternal fire and damnation if we did not march up to the altar, bow our heads, and get saved RIGHT THEN. So, that’s what I did, but out of mortal terror and not out of any real desire to get saved or even any understanding of what it was all about. After that, everything was different for me regarding the church. Slowly, over the years, I grew farther and farther away from it. By the time I was 18, I was pretty sure I was an athiest. I got over that pretty quickly, and now I guess I’m agnostic. I don’t know… I’d like for there to be a God, but like I said earlier in the thread, my thought processes form a mental block that makes it virtually impossible for me to believe in God because I know just enough science to make the supernatural seem like a fairy tale. Oh, and I have invited God into my heart, bunches and bunches of times, I’ve prayed hundreds of times, asked God to MAKE me believe, or barring that, to HELP me believe, to give me a kick start at least. But I never feel or hear anything really.

 

[withwind]

In fact, I am undecided on the whole concept of God.
…
My main motivation is her, but I have always been lost and searching.
…
Does anyone have any advice?

Shift your main focus and motivation onto God.

 

[Triciacat]

No, harpazo is right.

To answer a common question… she is Eastern Orthodox. No question about it. Her church is seperated from the Pope. And the reason why I posted this thread here, since somebody asked, is because I didn’t know any better. It wasn’t my intention to purposefully post a thread in the wrong forum.

I went to her church the other night. It was definitely interesting. Lots of chanting, the priest blessed the church with holy water, there was a communion. It lasted for 3 hours. It was my first service and I stood up the entire time. Afterwards I got a lot of pats on the back for sticking it out.

And I never realized how complex this could be. I talked to her (the girl in question) last night and asked her about the reconcilliation with the Pope, as I had heard something about it. She said that it would probably never happen, as the Roman Catholics would have to give up too much.

Triciacat: The negative experience I had occurred when I was quite young and impressionable. I grew up in a Methodist church and every year what’s called a ‘circuit rider’ would visit our church and preach some night sermons. I was only about 9 years old at the time, so I don’t remember much more than that. Anyway, he was very loud and aggressive and he scared the pants off of me, to be honest. I didn’t like going to his sermons, but my mom and dad made me go. I was shakining with fear every time, and then the worst finally happened. He called on people to come up and be saved. He threatened us with eternal fire and damnation if we did not march up to the altar, bow our heads, and get saved RIGHT THEN. So, that’s what I did, but out of mortal terror and not out of any real desire to get saved or even any understanding of what it was all about. After that, everything was different for me regarding the church. Slowly, over the years, I grew farther and farther away from it. By the time I was 18, I was pretty sure I was an athiest. I got over that pretty quickly, and now I guess I’m agnostic. I don’t know… I’d like for there to be a God, but like I said earlier in the thread, my thought processes form a mental block that makes it virtually impossible for me to believe in God because I know just enough science to make the supernatural seem like a fairy tale. Oh, and I have invited God into my heart, bunches and bunches of times, I’ve prayed hundreds of times, asked God to MAKE me believe, or barring that, to HELP me believe, to give me a kick start at least. But I never feel or hear anything really.

Sorry for the delay in my reply.

That was a horrible, traumatizing experience for you and it is completely understandable why you feel the way you do. Fortunately, we can ask God to help us get past things which hold us back.

God gave us free will, and this means that He will never force or make anyone believe in Him. I guess you must first make up your own mind that you truly believe in Him and decide to come to Him, not the other way around. Keep praying and asking God to break down the barriers you struggle against. Perhaps you are too hard on yourself–you’ve just spent three hours in a church! Perhaps God has just spent that 3 hours leading you towards Him! (Interestingly, that last sentence “formed itself” when I was doing some cutting and pasting for this post…!!!) We also need to be responsible for ourselves, however, and that means a life of prayer, faithfulness in times when God seems distant (there’s a great book on this topic) and seeking after Him, ideally with the help of a faith community. If you knock, He promises to open the door (Luke 11:9,10). Read Romans 10 which gives instruction on becoming a Christian (honestly, at the time, I don’t recall hearing or feeling anything either!)

I also completely understand the science vs faith argument, as I, too, have a science background. Faith can never be proven, however; that is why it is called faith. It must be believed, which is often harder on people like us that like to be able to completely understand and prove stuff…

I believe God has already answered your prayers, although maybe not in a way that you or anyone else can make sense out of at the moment. God requires us to be patient and faithful, however, and everything is on His clock, not ours.

Have a blessed Easter!

 

[bbarrick8383]

Hello neighbor, I go through your town all the time! Dentons a great place.

Get close to this girl but not too close, put God first. He’s out there, no doubt about it…look at that girl, its obvious God exists, she’s got you thinking pretty close to the right track.

Get close with her, ask her to sit down with you and compare the difference between her beliefs and Catholic. Ask her to investigate it with you and ask around these forums. This site is full of great people, I learn from them every day. Start your relationship with God, get it going good and then focus on this girl.

 

[bobzills]

I went to her church the other night. It was definitely interesting. Lots of chanting, the priest blessed the church with holy water, there was a communion. It lasted for 3 hours. It was my first service and I stood up the entire time. Afterwards I got a lot of pats on the back for sticking it out.

Why don;t you talk to one of the Eastern Orthodox priests and set up a schedule for study and prayer to learn more about the Eastern Orthodox Church.
Perhaps you did not realise it, but thiis is a Catholic forum. Although there are a lot of non-Catholics who post here, still since this is a Catholic forum, it means that most of us are Catholics, either Roman or Eastern, and in communion with the Pope. So many of us might recommend that you study Roman Catholicism or Eastern Catholicism and think about the possibility of joining the Catholic Church.

 

[Jamison97]

If you truly love her, look into your heart and there you will find the answer.