Hi well guess what I am totally in the same position! So if it makes you feel better, you are helping me because now my mess feels justified in the sense that maybe I helped you feel less alone.
All I do is pray to St. Jude, St. Rita, and St. Philomena for impossible situations. Then I read Lives of Saints because they all went through it too. Then I just ask Jesus what to do every second. And humbling myself and asking for help. That is hard but needed.
Well I would love to listen to what you need to talk about, if anything, so PM me if you like. I’ve just accepted that it never ends and that I just need to give up my will entirely to Jesus. One day it will be good in heaven.
The only steady ground is Christ. God is only unchanging. Everything else is passing away. I have had “bad luck” my whole life and later I found out it was demonic in my case too. The cross is the only way through this life. Even if you had everything go your way you would feel empty without Christ.
Sometimes I get so annoyed about original sin and Lucifer’s rebellion. I just think “really? Why would you do that?” Lol but then I get mad at God like “Really? You allowed US to risk our souls?” All I know is that God knows what He is doing and pain or failure is NOT a sign of unholiness unlike what our culture tells us.