"Falling into" sin

[AnneTeresa]

I’m interested to see what people have to say about this and what the catholic perspective is… We often talk about “falling into” sin. For instance, someone falls into sexual sin by having an adulterous affair. But isn’t there first a whole series of things that happen to lead into that serious sin–one notices someone they should not be interested in and is attracted… one starts joking around with them… and spending time with them in a group… one starts seeing them one on one after work… one starts confiding in them… one night you drink too much and are alone with them… etc.

So is the first real sin when one first notices an attraction to that person and doesn’t put an immediate stop to it, or even in the second step when you start spending time with them in a group and enjoying it–and is that venial sin or mortal? It seems like that is where we should first put a stop to it before it turns into real adultery and if so, if we fail to do so is that a venial sin, a near occasion of sin, or what? And is that how Satan sometimes gets us to give in to sin, by a series of these decisions that seem not that bad?

I think it could apply to a number of different sins and situations. I’m asking because I want to stop sinning in certain areas and am trying to figure out where to stop it. It seems like it you let it go too far, it’s too late to stop, or at least much more difficult.

 

[Trishie]

Yes, we do need to create practical plans and strategies, simple and direct ones we can put into play when ‘an occasion of sin’ or a temptation first begins, and in time that strategy can become a structure, a habit, of avoiding occasions of sin…and in time we get over it, and the sin becomes less attractive;
but we are aware there are times that we may disappoint ourselves and fail and feel discouraged, but we pick up again and react with the strategy again next time. Habits take a while to break, new ones to build…and gradually we can diminish even the temptations.

 

[beth40n2]

Sounds like you answered your own question. Definately stop when you are first attacted to a person if you know you are not free to marry. Don’t even get into spending time with them in a group or by yourself. As soon as you are atracted, try to get your mind off that person. If you start thinking about that person you need to get busy doing something else.

 

[shaky]

I’m interested to see what people have to say about this and what the catholic perspective is… We often talk about “falling into” sin. For instance, someone falls into sexual sin by having an adulterous affair. But isn’t there first a whole series of things that happen to lead into that serious sin–one notices someone they should not be interested in and is attracted… one starts joking around with them… and spending time with them in a group… one starts seeing them one on one after work… one starts confiding in them… one night you drink too much and are alone with them… etc.

So is the first real sin when one first notices an attraction to that person and doesn’t put an immediate stop to it, or even in the second step when you start spending time with them in a group and enjoying it–and is that venial sin or mortal? It seems like that is where we should first put a stop to it before it turns into real adultery and if so, if we fail to do so is that a venial sin, a near occasion of sin, or what? And is that how Satan sometimes gets us to give in to sin, by a series of these decisions that seem not that bad?

I think it could apply to a number of different sins and situations. I’m asking because I want to stop sinning in certain areas and am trying to figure out where to stop it. It seems like it you let it go too far, it’s too late to stop, or at least much more difficult.

I did read Some where to bring every thought under the obedience to christ. There is nothing wrong being around a person that you are highly attracted to. That is Natural. what do you want to do. Only spend time with unattractive people. Its the thoughts about committing adultery with them that is Sin.
If you find the person you are attracted to trying to come on to you. Then you should Aviod them.

 

[VonDerTann]

An analogy from Judaism may help.

A Jew I know told me a saying, “build a wall around the Torah,” meaning that not only do we not “cross a line” with certain behavior; we stay far from where the line is.

For example with respect to adultery: It takes 2 to cheat. Life is more complex than just “stay away from Ms. X if you are attracted to her”…what if you work with Ms. X? However, you can “build a wall” in other ways, by walling off the possibility of sin. How? For example, you can casually tell Ms. X in normal conversation about the date you took your wife on Saturday…and how you’ve been together # years…and you can smile and say, “I got her but she’s stuck with me, so I got the better end of the deal…” etc…

…and you have made it clear to Ms. X that you are spoken for. Period. Now unless she’s really a homewrecker – and they are out there – you have built a fairly effective wall, to wall out the possibility of sin…

…and we should do that in other areas. If, say porn is a problem, keep the computer in a place where others can see it and see what sites you visit, etc.

-VdT