Family confession

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plitedextrosity

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My wife ,a cradle catholic lead away at a young age, reverted, as I finally converted after years of caring less of faith in general, just this past Easter season. I have been back to confession once since my first, and though nothing mortal, found it just as refreshing as my first. Now to point, we have two young ladies at the ages of six and seven, the oldest being eligible to receive first communion with in the next year or so, and the other not far behind, may I add they are both excited and fully aware of the celebration of the eucharist. I have let my wife know that when it comes to raising our girls anything that is apparent or brought to my attention will be laid on my hands to discipline and make an effort to correct, but on the other hand as an adult I’m aware of things that our parents never discover…lol?..therefore if I don’t catch it it would be on them and the mercy of our father. I don’ want reconciliation to be intimidating, or feel that if they ask to be carried to confession that I will seek out their sin. So I’m asking any of u guys if you have made plans to go to confession every month or so as to show our children that even grown ups fall short, but also allow them to go (when eligible) with out really having to ask?..anyone ever experimented with this? If so what was your outcome? Thank you, and Gd bless!!!
 
I do not have children so take my opinion with a grain of salt. However, I think monthly confession as a family is an awesome idea! I think there are simpler examinations of consciences for children as well as adults, so you all could get into the habit of working with these prior to confession.
 
Hi, plitedextrosity! Welcome to your family! The Sacrament of Penance, or Reconciliation, is one of the more beautiful gifts bestowed upon us–so freeing and energizing.

When I was young, most families went to weekly confession on Saturday afternoon or before Sunday Mass. In that way, the opportunity for confession was always present, and we were never embarrassed by needing to ask to be taken to Church for the sacrament. Our parents insisted upon an Examination of Conscience, as listed in our Missals, every night when we said our prayers, so we couldn’t honestly deny having sinned with that examination staring us in our faces each night, although our evening ritual was group prayers, then silence for our “conversations” with God. Our parents treated us as adults in regards to faith discussions and responsibility for our souls, from the time we each made our First Holy Communion. We couldn’t begin to count the times our parents admonished us with, “Go talk to God about what you just did.” Or, “'Better talk to Jesus about that.” We had a statue of the Holy Family where we were to kneel for our “talks,” and we stayed as long as we felt we needed to stay. It was HORRIBLE to realize that we’d only fooled ourselves, since the Holy Trinity was ever-present; many tears were shed during those silent talks we had. Like my parents, I found that punishment very effective with my son and also with students when I taught in a very Catholic school.

In our adult years, we three have commented that the daily examination and weekly absolution of our sins resulted in our having ongoing conversations–with God, with Jesus, with the Holy Spirit–not just at bedtime and at Mass, but throughout our days as we were at school and at home. It probably helped that we lived on a farm near no young people, and the Holy Trinity was our only constant companion, aside from the angels and animals, as we did our many solitary chores! I’d like to report that our lives were “happily ever after,” but we’ve all had our shares of paths not taken, paths diverted, heartaches, sorrow, and regrets. However, the habit of turning to God (and the angels and the saints) was instilled within us during those tender years and has been a lifelong source of solace, comfort, and hope.

Best wishes to your family.
 
We didn’t do it when I was growing up, and I don’t have any kids, but it sounds like a fabulous idea.

Make it one of your family traditions. Load up, go to Confession, then go out for dinner or ice cream or something.

For that matter, you could even start now. Then the kids will want to go to Confession - they’ll feel left out until they *get *to go. Especially the youngest one!
 
Funny that you mention the ice cream, Richard, as that was our Sunday ritual. After Mass, we would go into Fabian Frisz’s Drug Store, where Daddy bought a paper and we each had a nickel to spend: one dip of ice cream, a plain coke (in a paper cone fitted into a chrome pedestal), cashews, a plain Hershey bar (same thing for 90 cents this last week at Walgreen’s!), or a NAB (a cellophane package of peanut butter and cracker “sandwiches”).

Once a month, if we were “exceptionally well behaved at Church this month” (it’s SOOO hard for a kid to be “exceptionally” good throughout 4 or 5 Sunday Masses in a row!), PLUS fairly well behaved at home and at school, we each got 15 cents to spend! My favorite was such a torturous toss-up: I’d think about it off and on all month, and we kids would often talk about our “next 15 cents” which would buy any combinatioin of the above nickel items; or a hot fudge sundae with two dips of ice cream; or a 10-cent fountain coke with cherry-lemon flavoring; or a syrupy vanilla phospate; or a black ‘n’ white sundae–one dip of ice cream, one ladle each of marshmallow and chocolate syrups, and whipped cream, all topped with nuts and a red maraschino cherry (green for December and March). Then, of course, there was Fabian’s piece de resistance, a wonderfully creamy extra-strong chocolate soda (impossible to find a good one these days, if you can find one at all!). Usually, unless we were crossways with each other (which we had to hide from our parents!) we three would each order something different, and allow each sibling three bites, But, oh! Those horrible Sundays when one of us had to sit there with just a glass of water because we hadn’t measured up! We couldn’t take pity and share, either, or we’d also share the same fate the following month!

Thanks for the memories, Richard!
 
But, oh! Those horrible Sundays when one of us had to sit there with just a glass of water because we hadn’t measured up! We couldn’t take pity and share, either, or we’d also share the same fate the following month!
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Hard lessons to learn, but at least life’s punches were a bit easier to handle when we grew up!! 😉
 
@ Richard, starting now is what I do have in mind. Even now Hayzen (my oldest) talked about when she is eligible to receive our brother, so if they see adult, especially her parents, goin to confession then the same ideal should sink in.

But I haven’t seen any negative replies! I suppose not making it a chore or apart of punishment would lighten their hearts. Reconciliation wasn’t a gift I was taught to believe in growing up, so now I will admit its not apart of habitual tendencies. In other words its win win if handled correctly…
 
We have always gone to confession as a family in that we usually go to confession once a month (Frist Friday or First Saturday) and we all go to church.

Of course, we never tell our children that they must confess or especially what they should confess. But they always came to church. They are teens now and still do come.

We have also always told them they if they want to go to confession (or daily Mass), we will make sure they get there. So on occasion I have taken them at different times - no questions asked about why. It helps that we’ve had priests in recent years who are very good with teens and pre-teens. 🙂

We also talk openly about our need for confession - especially if for some reason we haven’t been able to go at our regular time. Not that we confess specific sins to our children! but just talking about how it gets harder to resist temptation when you don’t go to confession regularly - how we become more selfish, less patient, etc.

Confession isn’t just for mortal sins (and hopefully a six and seven year old aren’t commiting mortal sins!), but the grace we receive from sacremental confession helps us to avoid even venial sin.
 
We often do combine our trip out to confession with some other event after - ice cream, a stop at the local Catholic bookstore, or perhaps more mundane errands. Confession isn’t supposed to be something big and scary or something that we need a bribe to do. It is a gift in itself. But certainly making it a normal part of your routine is an excellent idea!
 
I love the idea of an option to go to Confession.

I really hate the idea of mandatory Confession.

I think it is easy to get into the “I know what you did last week/month, trust me you need to go to Confession.” Rather than the, “There is enough time for every one to go to Confession. If you aren’t going, just stay in the pew.”

There is a thread in Family Life about a teen and her father. The father is forcing the teen to go to Confession. 😦 This is a problem.

Confession is between the child and God, you simply provide the transportation. 👍
 
My mother will take my sister’s kids to Confession a few times a year. They learn it is not a a bad thing plus they see their grandmother going in and making her confession so they learn by example. My mother did not do that with me and my sister when I was growing up, plus there was not good instruction about how often to go to private confession, my mother was under the impression that the 2 times a year communal was enough. She grew up in Pre-Vatican II, and her mother who was a convert to Catholicism would tell the kids at times, you have been bad enough, go to Confession and good thing the church was close by for the girls to walk there. So perhaps when she got older, Confession left a bad taste in her mouth from her younger years.

Now that I go to the EF Mass more often, I do see decent lines for the Confessional, and it is hard to tell at times if families line up together, or just a few from a family or only 1 person. It is nice when lining up for the confessional when a family arrives together, it proves that all of us are sinners and knows the importance of the sacrament of Confession.
 
That’s been my idea, ya know, if we as parents go now before their first communion, and they are simply with us, then when they are received it wouldn’t be an issue for them because they would already know that we would be goin as a family and if they feel the need or desire, just get in line…its good to hear all his feed back, I was sure it wasn’t an original idea but at the same time I had yet to have heard of other families that did this. So as long as I keep my ideals in line there shouldn’t be much of later back fire…
 
When I was young my mom took all the kids up to the church every Saturday for confessios. It was just a routine, like going to Mass on Sunday. Nobody made any big deal of it, and nobody refused to go. I suppose we could have just knelt in the pew if we didn’t feel like going to confession, but in fact we all got in line. That’s been some time ago, though. Hardly anybody goes to weekly confession anymore.
 
Something else which I think can be helpful is to practice this outside of the sacrament itself. Children can greatly learn from the example of seeing their parents call out their own mistakes and apologize, while at the same time seeing forgiveness modeled. We can also teach small children to do the same, to say they are sorry when they do something wrong and seek forgiveness. If they are already in that habit, the jump to regular confession will not feel so drastic.
 
I believe quarterly confession is a good idea. Monthly will just wear them out because they really don’t commit mortal sins at this young age. They’re still really trying to grasp the mysteries a little more with each new experience. I’ve seen plenty of non-Catholic Christians as well as Catholics driven away like this. But do what you think best for your children. God is in control. Family confessions are great.
 
hannajomar said:
Something else which I think can be helpful is to practice this outside of the sacrament itself. Children can greatly learn from the example of seeing their parents call out their own mistakes and apologize, while at the same time seeing forgiveness modeled. We can also teach small children to do the same, to say they are sorry when they do something wrong and seek forgiveness. If they are already in that habit, the jump to regular confession will not feel so drastic.
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I did this the other day in a way, I got aggravated bc my mobile would connect to listen to music w my girls. I got kinda angry bc its been having this issue since my provider went 4g, after yelling at the phone stating what I have just mentioned above, I looked @ em and apologized and stayed how silly it was for that to get under my skin. And hats one thing I don’t think we as children and children today see enough of, and that’s an adult humbling hire ego and voicing their faults…
 
I think taking God up on his offer of the grace available from making frequent use of the sacraments is one of the best things you can do for your family! My own 7 and 6 year old find the concept of grace a little abstract, so I’ve made use of Mother THeresa’s quote
“Stay close to Jesus. He loves you.” I requote her when I can to my own 7 and about to turn 6 year old. It’s really helped them not only be content during Sunday mass or standing around waiting while Dad and I go to confession, but help them enjoy it and look forward to it. HTH.
 
JimG said:
When I was young my mom took all the kids up to the church every Saturday for confessios. It was just a routine, like going to Mass on Sunday. Nobody made any big deal of it, and nobody refused to go. I suppose we could have just knelt in the pew if we didn’t feel like going to confession, but in fact we all got in line. That’s been some time ago, though. Hardly anybody goes to weekly confession anymore.
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I’ve talked to some of the moms that did that, they were taught that everyone was pretty much in mortal sin, all of the time.

Find a dollar and keep it, mortal sin. Argue with anyone, mortal sin. Don’t make your bed, like mom asked, mortal sin. And off to Confession with you.

Heck an old priest, in the 70’s, told my mom that she was in mortal sin … with no way out … because she didn’t get permission for life saving surgery. Since the surgery included removing her uterus, she was suppose to ask for permission. And since she didn’t, she was excommunicated. :rolleyes:

The good old days weren’t so good. Yes, everyone went to Confession. But many were also terrified of God, the Church and their local parish.
 
maryjk said:
I’ve talked to some of the moms that did that, they were taught that everyone was pretty much in mortal sin, all of the time.

Find a dollar and keep it, mortal sin. Argue with anyone, mortal sin. Don’t make your bed, like mom asked, mortal sin. And off to Confession with you.

Heck an old priest, in the 70’s, told my mom that she was in mortal sin … with no way out … because she didn’t get permission for life saving surgery. Since the surgery included removing her uterus, she was suppose to ask for permission. And since she didn’t, she was excommunicated. :rolleyes:

The good old days weren’t so good. Yes, everyone went to Confession. But many were also terrified of God, the Church and their local parish.
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Are you serious?..excommunicated?..
 
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