W
Wiujojo
Guest
I am in an extremely rough situation right now and it is killing me inside. I am in a financial situation with my mother and have been for years. Long story short I did her a favor years ago by helping her with a loan. This loan is due in the near future and I do not see her following through on her commitments. Without getting into all of the details, we had an agreement and she has followed it “her way”. Not the way that was outlined in an agreement we signed. We have already seen a family counselor who had recommended the very outlined agreement. I thought we were in a good place after the session with the counselor, but that’s when she started doing things her way and missed deadlines.
My husband is furious with her and in September after breaking our trust again, we decided to let her know she can no longer see our daughter (who is 9 months old and her only grandchild) until this loan is paid off and until she keeps her promises. If this is not paid on time, it will have extreme consequences for our family. I thought this would pressure her into doing the things she was supposed to do to get the loan paid. She eventually did end up taking some of those action steps, but I feel she can do some much more and be more proactive.
Now that the dust and anger have settled a little bit and after much prayer, I feel this gnawing feeling that keeping her granddaughter from her is not right. My mind has shifted and after a talk with my best friend I received even more perspective. My friend advised me to not use our daughter as a leverage or punishment, to hold her accountable in another way. It’s not fair to our daughter or my mom. I agree. I have turned a corner. This week my mom also ended up in the hospital after some dizzy spells and a fall. That was a huge wake up call for me. I feel that God is telling me that anything can happen, tomorrow is never promised. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to my mom and didn’t get to see our daughter.
My husband has a completely different outlook on this. He feels my mom has a hidden agenda, is a liar, used me in this situation and has been for years. He feels she has “abused” me financially and takes advantage. He wants to protect our daughter by not having her be exposed to these negative qualities. He thinks she is selfish and has no intention of doing the right things to resolve this situation. He thinks it’s in her hands to resolve this and she would if she really cared.
My mom is extremely loving to our daughter and is heartbroken that she has not seen her in two months. I am now caught in the middle and I don’t know what to do. What do I do in this situation?
Please send your prayers. I just want this financial situation to be over and I want my mom in our lives asap!! I feel so sick over this. How do I keep my family together?!
Thank you!
My husband is furious with her and in September after breaking our trust again, we decided to let her know she can no longer see our daughter (who is 9 months old and her only grandchild) until this loan is paid off and until she keeps her promises. If this is not paid on time, it will have extreme consequences for our family. I thought this would pressure her into doing the things she was supposed to do to get the loan paid. She eventually did end up taking some of those action steps, but I feel she can do some much more and be more proactive.
Now that the dust and anger have settled a little bit and after much prayer, I feel this gnawing feeling that keeping her granddaughter from her is not right. My mind has shifted and after a talk with my best friend I received even more perspective. My friend advised me to not use our daughter as a leverage or punishment, to hold her accountable in another way. It’s not fair to our daughter or my mom. I agree. I have turned a corner. This week my mom also ended up in the hospital after some dizzy spells and a fall. That was a huge wake up call for me. I feel that God is telling me that anything can happen, tomorrow is never promised. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to my mom and didn’t get to see our daughter.
My husband has a completely different outlook on this. He feels my mom has a hidden agenda, is a liar, used me in this situation and has been for years. He feels she has “abused” me financially and takes advantage. He wants to protect our daughter by not having her be exposed to these negative qualities. He thinks she is selfish and has no intention of doing the right things to resolve this situation. He thinks it’s in her hands to resolve this and she would if she really cared.
My mom is extremely loving to our daughter and is heartbroken that she has not seen her in two months. I am now caught in the middle and I don’t know what to do. What do I do in this situation?
Please send your prayers. I just want this financial situation to be over and I want my mom in our lives asap!! I feel so sick over this. How do I keep my family together?!
Thank you!