Family doesn't understand

[SacredHeartFan]

I feel like my family doesn’t understand my needs. When i try to pray the Divine Mercy at 3:00 they tell me I can do it later because we have somewhere to go. My dad acts like you can bend all the church’s rules to fit your needs. (ex. “Dad you can’t eat a hot dog on Fri. it’s lent!” “Oh well son I’m pretty sure God doesn’t care on what day you abstain from meat”) Everytime I try to get to adoration they always have “better things” to be doing. My mom won’t let me go three houses down to pick up a movie about JP II at the K of C Lending Libray guy’s house. My grandmother just picks up any old book labeled as “christian” and reads it and takes it as if the pope wrote it even though I tell her theologically incorrect. (which bothers me sometimes) And my grandfather watchs those pastors on T.V. and think he has fufilled his Sunday obligation. THEY ARE NOT EVEN CATHOLIC! My cousin’s think I’m “gay” because I want to be a priest and can’t get married. Some of them even think that I’m gay because I don’t walk around the water park looking at women in bakinis the whole time because I’m not an adulter. My dad tells me that my room is “guady” because I have many prayer books and statues. (he might be right on that one ) The only people I think understands me are my two great-grandmothers and only because they were brought up in the TLM and Catholicism was their whole life everyday 24-7. I need advice.

 

[SacredHeartFan]

I need advice, please!

 

[hasikelee]

Hmm…you don’t have a touch of scruples or zealousness do you?

I remember when Dh’s teen sister went through a phase of what seemed to be religious piety…but missed the mark on “true” piety. I’ll never forget as we were walking across a busy intersection downtown, a nearby clock started ringing and she dropped to her knees to pray the Angelus. She refused to move from the middle of the intersection until she was done praying. And if she is interrupted or “distracted” when praying she will restart from the beginning. We actually had cops show up.

Is your family Catholic, or are you a convert? It sounds very lonely. Maybe you could find a Catholic group to join?

 

[SacredHeartFan]

Hmm…you don’t have a touch of scruples or zealousness do you?

I remember when Dh’s teen sister went through a phase of what seemed to be religious piety…but missed the mark on “true” piety. I’ll never forget as we were walking across a busy intersection downtown, a nearby clock started ringing and she dropped to her knees to pray the Angelus. She refused to move from the middle of the intersection until she was done praying. And if she is interrupted or “distracted” when praying she will restart from the beginning. We actually had cops show up.

Is your family Catholic, or are you a convert? It sounds very lonely. Maybe you could find a Catholic group to join?

Yes my whole family is Catholic but I don’t think they take it seriously. I was never much Catholic until last year myself. When I tried to explain to them why I started practicing my faith, the blew it over and said it was just a “phase” in my life and that It would die down in a year or so. But that’s not the case. I’m on fire and I know that Jesus will never let go of me nor I of Him.

 

[hasikelee]

Yes my whole family is Catholic but I don’t think they take it seriously. I was never much Catholic until last year myself. When I tried to explain to them why I started practicing my faith, the blew it over and said it was just a “phase” in my life and that It would die down in a year or so. But that’s not the case. I’m on fire and I know that Jesus will never let go of me nor I of Him.

:hug1: Maybe they are just having trouble adjusting. It’s hard to see your own child start to live a better life…it’s like a constant reminder of failure/room for improvement, ya know?

 

[una_ecclesia]

I feel like my family doesn’t understand my needs. When i try to pray the Divine Mercy at 3:00 they tell me I can do it later because we have somewhere to go. My dad acts like you can bend all the church’s rules to fit your needs. (ex. “Dad you can’t eat a hot dog on Fri. it’s lent!” “Oh well son I’m pretty sure God doesn’t care on what day you abstain from meat”) Everytime I try to get to adoration they always have “better things” to be doing. My mom won’t let me go three houses down to pick up a movie about JP II at the K of C Lending Libray guy’s house. My grandmother just picks up any old book labeled as “christian” and reads it and takes it as if the pope wrote it even though I tell her theologically incorrect. (which bothers me sometimes) And my grandfather watchs those pastors on T.V. and think he has fufilled his Sunday obligation. THEY ARE NOT EVEN CATHOLIC! My cousin’s think I’m “gay” because I want to be a priest and can’t get married. Some of them even think that I’m gay because I don’t walk around the water park looking at women in bakinis the whole time because I’m not an adulter. My dad tells me that my room is “guady” because I have many prayer books and statues. (he might be right on that one ) The only people I think understands me are my two great-grandmothers and only because they were brought up in the TLM and Catholicism was their whole life everyday 24-7. I need advice.

Peace be with you SacredHeartFan

1. Be patient. Many conversions or returns to the faith may take a very long time, and even now all of us still have ways to go. This does not mean that you cease to inform them when they are doing something wrong, but understand that they probably are not used to living as devout Catholics should, but be gentle about it (if you are already doing this then keep at it). My own step-father was the first to become a practicing Catholic in his immediate family. It took many years afterwards, but now my grandparents are also very devout and his brothers and sisters are involved in their churches.
2. Lead by example. St. Francis once said “go out into the world and evangelize; and if necessary, use words.” One reason that the Saints attracted so many people was not because they said what was right verbally (though that is still important) but because they did what was right. Not only that, they showed how living a holy life brought true joy to them rather than superficial happiness (or helped them survive their sufferings). Think of Mother Teresa, who did so much for those around her and brought the light of Christ to them. Likewise, show how fufilling living in holiness can be by the way that you act. As mentioned before, words are useful when needed, but actions speak much louder than words.
3. Maybe you already thought of this but it still needs to be said… pray for them unceasingly (again, if you are already doing this, keep doing it!) Remember how St. Monica prayed for her son Augustine for 30 yrs? and look how he ended up ! ask your great-grand mothers to pray for you as well.

My own family is comprised of practicing Catholics, but I have a similar issue as you do with my classmates in public school.
I dont know how much help that will be to you, but I will pray for you too. Keep it up

 

[strngrnrth]

I remember when Dh’s teen sister went through a phase of what seemed to be religious piety…but missed the mark on “true” piety. I’ll never forget as we were walking across a busy intersection downtown, a nearby clock started ringing and she dropped to her knees to pray the Angelus. She refused to move from the middle of the intersection until she was done praying. And if she is interrupted or “distracted” when praying she will restart from the beginning. We actually had cops show up.

I wouldn’t do that. I actually never say the Angelus. But I like her.

 

[bpbasilphx]

It sounds like you’re still a teenager, and therefore you must be obedient to your parents.

St. John Maximovitch once told a zealous youth that what will please God more than his fasting, even during Lent, would be his obedience shown to his parents.

Think about it.

 

[Belle10]

No advice, just prayers for you in your journey and for your family.

 

[MarieVeronica]

My cousin’s think I’m “gay” because I want to be a priest and can’t get married

Dear SHF… don’t let anyone dissuade you from discerning a vocation (call) to the holy priesthood. God will make His Will known to you, in His own time. Your cousins and friends… are cruel and ignorant… if they’re labeling you as “gay” because you have a desire to serve God! But you must forgive them and pray for them.

It’s sad, that your parents won’t allow you the freedom to attend Adoration, etc. But I agree with the advice, that you must be obedient to them. But also stay true to your possible vocation. You can pray for your parents, family and friends… and be patient with them. It could be that Our Lord is “testing” your obedience, now. Obedience will be a very BIG part of your future life, if you are called to the Priesthood.

I would like to suggest a couple of friends to you… that you can pray to, and ask for guidance.

First, St. Aloysius Gonzaga (whose feast we celebrate on Saturday). St. Aloysius became a priest at a young age. And he too encountered opposition from family. He is now the Patron Saint of all Catholic Youth.

Also… St. Dominic Savio. He wanted to become a priest, but he died at the age of 15. St. Dominic Savio is a model to young men… of holy virtue. If memory serves me, he is the Patron Saint of Altar Servers.

Here are a couple of links. You can read about these holy young men. God bless you, SHF. I will pray for your vocation.

newadvent.org/cathen/01331c.htm

catholicapologetics.info/library/onlinelibrary/Savio.htm

 

[SacredHeartFan]

Thank you very much guys! I think they are starting to let go though. This coming week I am teaching VBS at my church. I hope that this might open up more doors.

 

[MarieVeronica]

Thank you very much guys! I think they are starting to let go though. This coming week I am teaching VBS at my church. I hope that this might open up more doors.

You are most welcome, SHF. I would also suggest that you place yourself under the care and guidance of Our Blessed Mother. She has a great love for priests… who are the ministers of her Son. She will help you to discern your vocation. God bless you.

 

[SacredHeartFan]

You are most welcome, SHF. I would also suggest that you place yourself under the care and guidance of Our Blessed Mother. She has a great love for priests… who are the ministers of her Son. She will help you to discern your vocation. God bless you.

I pray my rosary everyday! which reminds me…

 

[vee8]

SHF there are plenty of parents with fallen away children who would be so happy if their child was like you Maybe you could put yourself up for adoption? Relax Im joking although Im guessing God wants to use you to help draw your family back to church eventually, so stick with them and be a good example…

 

[SacredHeartFan]

SHF there are plenty of parents with fallen away children who would be so happy if their child was like you Maybe you could put yourself up for adoption? Relax Im joking although Im guessing God wants to use you to help draw your family back to church eventually, so stick with them and be a good example…

LOL!!!

 

[Miserissima]

If you can’t say the Divine Mercy Chaplet at exactly 3pm where you are, you can offer your prayers to be added with those from another time zone…it’s analogous to the prayer in which you ask for graces from all the Masses said that day, all over the world, before or after they happen.

For example, if I must miss saying the chaplet at 3pm EST my time, I can ask that my prayers be added to those from California in PST – which is actually 6pm my time.

California time: 3pm, my time 6pm.

You can look at the World Time Clock to check out what time zone you can add your prayers to.

Make sense?

But, since God is outside of time, I don’t see why 3pm (the Hour of Mercy) is the end all be all to saying the chaplet to many folks. After all, should we base 3pm off of what time it is in Poland? Or Jerusalem? Or locally? How do we calculate the exact hour of Christ’s death before the Gregorian Calendar?

At three o’clock, implore My mercy, especially for sinners; and, if only for a brief moment, immerse yourself in My Passion, particularly in My abandonment at the moment of agony. This is the hour of greatest mercy… In this hour I will refuse nothing to the soul that makes a request of Me in virtue of My Passion [1320].

See, Christ isn’t asking for the recitation of the chaplet (per se) at 3pm in this excerpt from St. Faustina’s diary. Christ is asking for at least, a quick aspiration and a meditation on His Passion, not a Passion Play. You seem to be quite pious, but remember that the chaplet is a private devotion, not a vow that binds anyone under pain of sin.

There may be more graces from saying the chaplet at 3pm, but I agree that the obedience to your parents would be foremost to bear for Our Lord. Just think of Him returning to Nazareth with His earthly parents in the Joyful Rosary Mystery, “Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple.” Even Christ put Himself into a position to be a subject of others when it was appropriate, all through his life.

And think of Teresa of Avila when it comes to obedience. She made a “rude gesture” at an apparition of Our Lord (essentially she ‘flipped Him off’) at the direction of her confessor. Know what? Christ told her that He was pleased in her obedience to His earthly representatives. Whodathunkit?

 

[hasikelee]

I wouldn’t do that. I actually never say the Angelus. But I like her.

Hahaha, well she’s single.

 

[Spirithound]

Everytime I try to get to adoration they always have “better things” to be doing. My mom won’t let me go three houses down to pick up a movie about JP II at the K of C Lending Libray guy’s house.

I’m praying for you.
Now, are these cases of them forbidding you to do those things, or are they just not helping you? I am personally of the opinion that 40 minutes is not too long to walk to go to adoration

 

[SacredHeartFan]

I’m praying for you.
Now, are these cases of them forbidding you to do those things, or are they just not helping you? I am personally of the opinion that 40 minutes is not too long to walk to go to adoration

But considering that adoration is across 5 sate hwy., 1 U.S. hwy., and 1 Interstate…

They’re just not helping me.

 

[Jimdandy]

Fan of the Sacred Heart,

Your namesake asks that we strive to do all we can to fulfill His will, and He considers the efforts you make, not the result.

That being so, take the higher road with you parents-continue to request more Church time, but be obedient to their replies.
Always be as pleasant and helpful as you can be with your parents.

Since you are young, turn this negative problem into something positive by praying as much as you can, and by practicing just to be still -minutes at a time to sit and think of nothing as you wait for God.

Pray to Our Lady every day-and say as many rosaries as you can each day-while concentrating on the mysteries themselves-referring to the actual scripture passages as you learn them is helpful.

Seek the Holy Spirit and He will enlighten you.

You are the hope for and the future of our Church.