Family Faith Formation continued

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DiZent

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Restarting the topic. I wanted to continue the discussion after the next class, but found the topic closed. I can’t get used to having to start a new topic each time so I just haven’t posted for quite a while.

Today’s class was great. I have relaxed quite a bit with teaching the monthly ME time class to 4th grade. I found that working on my time management was the key. I have adapted myself more to the program & follow the script. Keeping the “extras” to a minimum. I still use the notebooks & the good conduct tickets - but the notebooks are to keep memories - 1 or 2 things from the class, but they are not substitute workbooks. The students are doing better with the Q&A format. We have only one more class before the end of the FF year. Attendance is not great, but it has been steady - about 1/2 - 2/3 of the students attend. Of those who attend, about 1/2 of them say they actually do the home lessons. Not sure how many will return.

That being said, my granddaughter was in the 2nd grade program this year. My daughter said she enjoyed most of the speakers, but did not like the home lessons at all. Said she had to choose between the sacrament prep lessons & the ME time lessons - decided that sacrament prep was more important for 2nd grade. She felt that th ME time lessons were overwhelming with the amount of material she was supposed to cover. Even doing the parent-based sacrament prep was very difficult for her - child was generally uncooperative & the home lessons were not a positive experience - usually ending in shouting or tears or both. Granddaughter will make her 1st Communion in 2 weeks, but they are looking to transfer to another parish for traditional religious ed program for next year. She said that if they do stay, that she is sending granddaughter to me to teach the home lessons - she will not do it again.

I am not sure I will teach next year. Part of me wants to continue because it did get better after working with the program for a while. But I am also still working full-time, plus I’m very involved in other parish activities - VBC & Cub Scouts.

On a positive note, Father said the children were better prepared for Reconciliation & 1st Communion this year than they have been for some time.
 
Stick with it. The Scouts will soldier on without you, but the children of your parish need good catechesis.
Faith Formation first.
 
i tell you what, I’m glad that you restarted this topic as I was about to start a new one.

We’re currently in the same boat. My wife changed to the current parish that my wife and kids are members at (I’m not Catholic) strictly for the RE program they had (bus the kids there from school, sack, class, we all had dinner and it’s 6 blocks from our house). They made the decision to go to the program this last spring, with the first meeting in fall. My son’s 2nd grade class last year 25 kids in it. At the first few parent nights the place was full (according to my wife). I started going to the parent nights for the family (since I’m non Catholic I figured that was the least I could do since I couldn’t really help with the lessons much). At last month’s parent meeting I counted 35 adults (about 28 kids represented)… Parents just aren’t showing up anymore. There should be close to 120 kids represented. We get told that “you’re the parents that are commited”, the priest writes letters in the bulletins about why they’re doing the program and how he know better when it comes to why the parish is doing family vs. class, which tells me they’re really starting to see push back from other families. Next year is a sacrament year for my middle one (1st communion). They already said that the program isn’t going to change next year and that the whole program is going to surround the sacrements. I told my wife that after the meeting, since I’m not Catholic I’m not sure how I’m really going to be able to help at all. That’s going to put a lot on her shoulders prepping a 2nd grader for first communion and having to cover F.F.F. lessons around the sacraments.

We talked on Sunday for about an hour and I think she’s going to put the kids in class in a different parish that offers class RE, not only home lessons.

My question was going to be if anyone here has run into the same type of circumstances and if their parish stayed with the Family based program or if they moved back to the classroom based? I really see this parish losing 1/2 to 2/3 of their families this summer to other parishes with classroom based programs…not to mention if we stayed it would cost us $300 ($125 for the oldest and $175 for our middle son because it’s a sacrament year) vs going to the parish with classroom would be $160.
 
I know that our parish is going to use the same program next year. Rumor is that “we will never go back to textbooks”. But we might add some large group activities during liturgical seasons. I think if a lot of parents withdraw & go elsewhere, it will affect a lot more than just Religious Ed numbers. Some parents were told by other parishes that they would need to be registered there in order to enroll their child in the RE program.

My daughter is still undecided with my granddaughter. Sacrament Prep was intense. The ME time Home lessons were not as intense, but they contained a lot of material. The neighboring parish that is closer to her uses Faith & Life, which is what we used before changing to FFF. But we have history with this parish. It has been part of our lives for 35 year’s. If I teach my granddaughter, I will probably not teach a class.
 
As of now my wife plans on keeping her and the kids registered at the current parish as the kids can enroll in the RE at the parish out in the country without being members. We’ve discussed only enrolling our 2nd grader as this is a sacrament year for him and skipping RE for our 4th grader. That’s actually what many with 5th and 6th graders did this year. They’re skipping RE until classroom instruction picks up again in 7th grade.

The priest mentioned that he wants the family program to be more intense, involved and realistic next year; which for us really turned us off. We’re having a hard enough time with the program as it is.

I know the parish lost families to the Lutheran church across town this year as well, due to the switch from classroom to home. Many with the same question “What am I paying for ($125 per student) if I’m doing all the work”? Which I don’t disagree with.

As of now, we’re going to get our 1st grader through 1st communion next year and then we may be looking at moving over to the Luther church in town as well.
 
I agree. While paying for the program is not foreign to most Catholic parents, my Protestant friends are usually aghast whenever I mention the cost. I did not mind paying for what I perceived as having value. And the parish was always willing to work with families with hardship. But the “home lessons” are perceived as having less value because having someone else teach is perceived as having greater value. But if you talk to any home school parent, they pay for curriculum. But there is a future value that they may not realize now.

I felt the same way about VBC. When I took over as VBC director, I knew we needed to charge a fee, so I did not want to offer the same program that the Protestant Church down the road offered free of charge. So I use a Catholic program, solicit lots of donations and keep the cost low.
 
It’s not really a protestant vs. Catholic deal here. It was $125 a kid for the classroom that included bussing from the public school, snacks, lessons and materials, and a meal afterwards.

Now it’s still $125 a kid (more for sacrament years) but the parents have to do all of the work and attendance to parents night has really been dropping as many don’t see much of the value of those classes. I think there’s going to be a real exodus of families this summer.
 
There was certainly much more offered in your old program and those things had value. Has anyone approached the DRE/parish council about lowering the cost?
 
I can’t say for sure, but I think so and I think they’re starting to get the hint that the parents don’t like it, but I don’t think the priest cares and he may be the one really pushing it. I know that cost was a prevailing concern early on at the onset of the program. People really wanted to know where their money was going. We just found out that religious education program is presenting a speaker for the whole parish…so I guess that’s where all our money went…?

As the participation numbers continued to dwindle the priest published a “I know what’s best for you” letter in the bulliten. That turned more people away. I really think they’re going to lose a lot of people next year.
 
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Good luck. Our cost was lowered when we went to the FFF model. I’m sure the speakers are part of the cost. But there are no books, workbooks, flyers, etc. All photocopied materials.
 
That’s nice.

Ya, there was a huge uproar with the cost. RE was already expensive and now that they’re not providing bussing, snacks, etc… but the price is still the same really rubbed a lot of people the wrong way.
 
Is this a thing now, giving the kids just home study instead of classes for first communion?
 
Disclaimer: I’m speaking for where my wife and kids are members and our experiences, YMMV.

It’s not really just giving the kids home study. What it is (from my experience with it) is the parents need to attend the catechism classes (again) then in part take home the lessons for the month and teach it to their kids. Where in comes the question (at least where we’re at), what exactly are we paying for? What’s tough for us is I’m not Catholic so most (if not all) of the teaching falls on my wife for our 3 kids. 99.99% of the reason she switched to this parish was their classroom based RE. Another one of the goals of the program is to, in situations such as ours, at the end of the year the non-Catholic parent will decide to convert.

To be honest the classes are kind of a joke. I go because I’m a good husband 😀 and I want to help with the program the best I can. The best that I can help is be the face for our family at “parent night” even though I’m taking next to nothing away from it.

We’re probably going to take the kids to the country parish where they still have classroom based RE. IT also doesn’t help that the priest pens “I know better for you” letters in the bulliten that A. Has really pushed more families away and B. Tells us that the parish is really getting push back on the program.

At our last (and final) parent night for the year it was made known that the program will continue next year and the priest wants it to be even more involved. For our family, we just can’t do it and if he wants it to be more involved we’re just going to have to move on. My wife isn’t going to be able to handle it. I actually called the RE to the carpet about families like ours (mixed-marriage). He met with me for an hour, said he had ideas for families like ours he wanted to bounce off me. That never happened…I think we’re the only mixed-marriage family to actually participate through the whole year…since that didn’t happen and the drive to continue the program and it be “more involved” we’re probably just going to move on.

We’re going to get our 2nd grader through 1st communion next year, may no sign up our 3rd grader for anything next year and then re-evaluate after that.

I know that kind of turned into a vent, but hopefully that’s a 10,000ft view of it and why some (if not many) families don’t like the program.
 
I can really see that going down like a sack of horse manure at the parishes I’ve attended. Most parents when I did my first communion were doing so to get their kids into a better school so probably wouldn’t have taken it that seriously.
 
I am the Chartered Organization Rep - liaison between BSA & the parish & completely necessary for the Troop & Pack to exist. Because I know the Scouting program inside & out, I am probably more hands-on then most CORs. One of my tasks it to promote the Religious Emblems programs.

Father’s compliment was for the parents who did the home lessons for Sacrament Prep - catechists had no part in that this year. Whether or not I return depends on what my daughter decides. She is now leaning toward keeping granddaughter in the program - because this is our family parish & they know people here, but don’t know many people at the other parish. One scenario is that she will attend the speaker sessions, but I would teach the home lessons. She is also considering that maybe the ME time lessons will be less stressful than the Sacrament prep & that she might be able to teach her. If I an teaching my granddaughter, I won’t be teaching a class.
 
Father said the children were better prepared this year with the home lessons for Sacrament Prep then they have been in previous years.

The problem seems to be that may parents just don’t feel equipped do the home teaching &/or they don’t make time for it. My granddaughter would become obstinate with her mother - so home teaching sessions resulted in shouting, tears or both. Not a positive experience for either of them.
 
At that age a lot of kids struggle with homework but do ok in a classroom. It’s a good idea in theory to get the parents more involved but I cant see it going down well here. Is it maybe being done because there is a shortage of catechists?
 
According the the RE (and from what I’ve investigated on the internet) the point of the program is to fight the issue of A) People leaving the church B) People that just don’t attend church (our program forces Mass attendance) and C) In cases like mine (mixed marriage) the goal is to get the non-Catholic spouse to convert at some point.

By having the parents do the teaching it’s supposed to “re-strengthen” them and in turn they become more frequent church going families. And in our case by having the NC parent involved at the end of the year we’ll make the decision to convert.

The program really has gone over like a lead balloon here. Our two boys are pretty close in age so they’re really tough to get to sit down together and teach, and since I’m not Catholic that just puts even more pressure on my wife.

I think if the price were more affordable (this parish is the most expensive one that I’ve found in the area) and the parents meeting wasn’t so long…or had a little more substance (There’s literally 15 min worth of work and an hour of filler time) the program may have gone better, but attendance dropped exponentially after the first month or two.

We signed up for the program so we’re going to see it out to the end but I think at the end of the year we’ll decide on RE at a different parish that offers classroom instruction to get our middle one through first communion and we’ll re-evaluate after that.
 
Doesn’t strike me as something worth spending that much money on. You could probably find your own teaching resources for less. I didn’t realize you had to pay for first communion prep to be honest.
 
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