Family Faith Formation continued

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I kind-of think that’s the situation.

I think they’ve received quite a bit of feedback and pushback on the program. In the middle of the year he wrote one of his letters in the program (and did a homily) about why he’s decided to do the program and that even through parents are indicating the classroom base is better for them that “with his knowledge and the stats available to him” the program needs to continue.

But I mean, seriously…if every kid that was in the program last year signed up this year and if every family showed on family day there should have been over 100 kids accounted for…there was 15ish… 99.99% of the reason my wife decided to switch to this parish was for their old RE program.
 
Dacinom said:
We did a family formation program with our children and I would like to offer this.

Originally I hated it. Like many of you here I viewed it, well, rather like other “lessons” sort of like piano lessons or other lessons. Why was I paying when I had to do the work? I was annoyed and as some of my children homeschooled I was already busy.

After a while of doing it I learned this one small thing. I was embarrassed, embarrassed because I learned that this was the ONLY time during the week that I really discussed the Catholic Faith with my children! Oh sure, we prayed but I never really sat down and talked with my kids about the faith other than “how did class go.” As time went on I wasn’t always good about doing Faith Formation lessons every week but I really tried. I found that sometimes me and the kids got “off topic” and that was okay! We talked together about the Pope, Bishops, the Sacraments, the Eastern Church, the Liturgical colors you name it.

I have to be honest if it were not for that program I would have never talked about this stuff with my kids. The program wasn’t perfect, but worth every dime because it opened a door for my family that I didn’t even know needed opening. Praise God.
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To be honest, my wife couldn’t even get our boys on topic let alone anything else… It just bombed for us and may be driving my wife and kids out of the parish.

If you don’t mind me asking, how much did you pay for the program for it to be worth every dime? I’m having a really hard time getting the program to be worth every dime when it cost us $250 last year and this year is $300 (sacrament year for #2). 99.99% of the reason my wife decided to join this parish was their past RE program.

I’ve done some talking to neighbors…they’ve lost a lot of families last year and are going to lose more this year. It’s really too bad.
 
I’m guessing it’s an attempt to get parents doing more teaching of the faith in the home. Aren’t they worried that some parents will just do the bare minimum though?
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I’m guessing it’s an attempt to get parents doing more teaching of the faith in the home. Aren’t they worried that some parents will just do the bare minimum though?
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I’ve done a lot of reading and research on the program given to us and I don’t think they really took the 2nd part into consideration (IMHO).

The bolded is a high level overview of how the program works, but not the overall goal of the program.

From what I’ve been able to find online: What the goal of the program is (and I’m paraphrasing); Parents will be re-catechized while teaching the faith to their kids and in return become weekly (or at least more consistent) Mass attendees, and in the case of our family I (a non-Catholic) will be moved by the program and should by now be ready to seek conversion. It is also supposed to “force” fellowship on families so we get to know each other more, and make the church seem more like a family environment…like at my non-Catholic church back home (it’s not working BTW). Only 16 families showed up to family day last Sunday, when I asked my wife who…she couldn’t really answer (and I wouldn’t have been able to either).

That’s the just that I’ve been able to find online. I’d like to find more honest feedback from other families, but haven’t been able to, and I searched a lot last summer leading up to this first year. Whenever I search for feedback on Family Faith Formation I’m usually directed to a parish website where they all have the same canned FAQ answers: “Oh, I haven’t seen my kids so excited to go to Mass” and “My non-Catholic husband loves it. He’s learning so much about our faith.”
 
Well intentioned but rather unrealistic expectations basically.
 
I can agree with that, however I don’t necessarily see the well intention in something my family “has” to do where on of the end goals is my conversion. TBH, I’m not sure how involved they really want me to be since I have no plan to convert.

There other thing, next year is a sacrament year for our middle one. With me not being Catholic, this program is putting even more on her shoulders to do.
 
I reckon my non Catholic husband would probably do a better job teaching this sort of thing than me but that probably says more about me being a poor evangelist.

I get that in an ideal world all Catholic parents would be good teachers of the faith for their children but I don’t think forcing a demanding program on people is the way to go.
 
I’d go back to the program they offered the first 3 years (and the reason my wife changed to this parish in the first place).

Kids were bussed over from the public school, played together for a bit, snack, class, then we all had dinner together afterwards. It was expensive ($125 a kid) but the convenience of made the program well worth it. With the program change the price stayed the same, no bussing…no meal. This was a HUGE rub early on.

I don’t know what you do to bring a parish together, but here…this wasn’t it.

One of the problems (as we see it) is non-Catholics aren’t the most welcome and that may be some of the overall issues too. I’m not welcome to volunteer or be part of any group, so I don’t see how me (and my family) are going to be much a part of any parish that comes together when one of us can’t be part of anything anyway. One thing I’d do is join the parish men’s group, but I can’t.

IDK, when some of your “parishioners” can’t be part of parish life and are excluded or put down by leadership it’s tough to bring it together no matter what you do, but forcing a program onto parents where they do all the work (an expensive one at that) without any explanation to where the cost is and when you hear pushback all you say is “well, I have more information than you and I know better”…sure doesn’t help either.

Hopefully that doesn’t come off as a rant…that was about as much as I could shorten it up from my end 🙂
 
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I don’t get how the kids learning at home rather than in a class brings people together.
 
What’s supposed to bring us together is:

A) Parent nights (beginning of month)-- Basically an hour to hour and a half a month where the parents do the classroom work (stuck in groups which is a ton o’ fun for introverts).

(now through the month the parents are supposed to pass the lessons to their kids)

B) Family Day (end of month) – Once a month for an hour or so all families are supposed to gather together to go over lessons from the month…and maybe do an activity.

By making the adults and then subsequently families do more stuff together we’re supposed to get to know each other more…become friends…etc… Parent night is more of an awkward hour of 6 people sitting at a table waiting to leave…family day wasn’t much different.

I don’t mean to come off like I’m ripping on the program…I’m really not, it’s more just the reality of what we’re seeing and experienced this year. Last night we could have advance registered to receive a discount but decided not to as my wife is still undecided.
 
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Surely the kids going to class while the parents drink tea and coffee together works just as well.
 
Ya, probably. The way the classes were before they ran from 4:15-5 on Wed afternoon so we had a meal afterwards instead. Most parents didn’t get to the church until about 5 since their kids were bussed over.

But, that’s how we do it in my non-Catholic church. Kids go to Sunday School at 9:30 and parents grab their coffee for a quick bible study until 10-10:15.

IDK, there just seems to be a lot of friction between many families and church leadership right now (unless you’re in one of their clicques or a parent is a board member).
 
That sounds better to me. Eating together can work well.

It sounds like the church are desperate to create a culture of parents all being good teachers and adults who practice the faith together and these are good things but you can’t suddenly force an entire parish to suddenly become that.
 
My parish plans on doing FFF starting next year. I do not recall them sending out surveys to the parents asking if anyone is interested in it, so I’m afraid the result is going to be what TC3033 describes - a lot of participation at first that will dwindle down to a handful of families by the end. Enacting such a plan seems like it would take a lot more engagement and (name removed by moderator)ut from the parents beforehand. For example, does the parish already offer adult faith groups, and what is the turnout? Plus, this year some parents will have their kids in R.E. on two different nights depending on their age. So unfortunately I can already predict a lot of grumbling and drop off in attendance. It just strikes me as what TC3033’s experience has been with FFF, that it was pretty much just imposed on the families without much of an explanation.
 
Neither the parents nor the catechists were consulted before our parish
made the change.
 
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There was something that went out at the end of last year telling parents that they’re switching and you could leave a comment card. (Sorry I’m so vague, I’m not considered a member so all the communication at that time went through my wife and she did the comment card). She had a lot of hesitation about it since I’m not Catholic, especially after looking over what some sample material said about NC’s. They were going to get back to us with ideas and ways to make the program “better” for our family…never really did. Honestly, I think any comments from the comment card was taken with a grain of salt…

They were switching no matter what, and as more pushback came from the parents this year and mid year they said (paraphrasing: we’re keeping it, this is why, we know better…) attendance dropped wayyy off. Mix in there a snide remark about non-Catholics and some ripping of public schools and you lose most of your families.
 
Last session was OK, but not great. The topic was Mary. I had 2 grades, because another teacher cancelled at the last minute. I was not prepared for a large class. I followed the script & it was way, way too much reading by me. The students were not engaged. If I had it to do over (and we will not do this topic again next year - the topics are on a 3 year cycle) - I would have just used music, games & the demonstrations from the packet. Very small group of parents at the parent session.
 
I can only share from the teacher’s perspective. I did not do the take-home lessons with my granddaughter. I do see the larger picture - no matter how good we were as teachers, or how much we liked the previous program, teaching RE as a “subject” was not bearing fruit. I supported the program, but I am not happy with the materials & methods used for the classroom portion, and the classroom/speaker Sundays were chaotic. For my family, it has backfired - daughter will probably leave the church all together.
 
Our parish only told the catechists and parents of the change to a Family Faith Formation.
To the best of my knowledge, no one was consulted. I think it is the newest idea in Formation and those in charge are jumping on the band wagon to do the newest way.
 
Parish RE Directors are flinging out ideas HOPING that something will stick.

The idea of “Forming your children at home because the parents are the primary educators of their children” looks great on paper (but then again, so does Communism).

You bring up one of the two reasons this model frustrates parents and children.

First, what about the mixed marriage. All of the burden is felt by one parent, they may feel out of their depth to answer some of the hard questions that should be sparked by learning (why does non-Catholic parent not do this or that and if they don’t have to do it, why do I? Are you saying non-Catholic parent is a sinner? If they are not a sinner, then, I don’t need to do it…)

Second is that we are often expecting parents to teach something that they themselves don’t remember or know. While we geeks who spend free time talking/reading about Catholicism find it hard to believe, not every practicing Catholic does. Not every cheering fan at the baseball game can quote stats and history and intricacies of the game, that does not make them a bad baseball fan.

For I daresay 80% or more of the parents, expecting them to be comfortable doing Faith Formation/Sacramental Prep at home is about as realistic as handing ME a booklet and expecting me to teach my kids Trig. That is a recipe for failure because, while I am a smart lady, I don’t even really know what Trig IS!!

I’d hope that every person responsible for setting FF/Sac Prep/CCD/RE programs in their parish have done a deep dive on the work of the Missionary Disciples document.

http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-te...echesis/catechetical-sunday/living-disciples/
 
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