Family Formation Fall 2019

[DiZent]

The goal of all children’s and youth’s religious education is to do exactly that. Educate children and youth in the faith. I am a DYM and have reviewed more programs than I can count.

I have done the same - as Director for VBS. There are pros & cons to the weekly programs as well. And there are many, many variables in families. I know some of my students have a non-Catholic parent & we have “blended families” & single parents, etc. I would suggest to those (non-Catholic Christian) parents that their strengths are gifts from God - love for Jesus, love of Scripture, spontaneous prayer, etc. Use those gifts - be the parent who talks about Jesus & leads the prayer at dinner. Be the parent who focuses on doing the Scripture readings in the lesson. If the rosary is not comfortable, try telling the story of Jesus’ birth, life, death & resurrection - through the eyes of his mother. (want to do this in song - without the Hail Mary’s? look up Danielle Rose - Mysteries) If we are not passing on the faith to our children, the world has another plan - which leads their hearts & minds away from Jesus and the church.

 

[TC3033]

I will review the Sophia institute website again, as it was over 3 years ago the last time I reviewed it. I am fairly confident that it was on the site one of the goals was for (in the case of mixed marriages) was for the NC parent convert. I remember reading it and then needing to show it to my wife.

I know that with family formation, the goal is far more than just educating youth and children. Being around it for 3 years now, it really feels like the emphasis is far more on the parents than the kids.

Maybe I’m missing something… I get that impression from quite a few parents at my wife’s parish, and they’re pulling their kids (after 2nd grade) until they’re back to the classroom in 7th grade…“when I don’t have to go to class”

 

[TC3033]

I think it was a mix of thinking all of the parents would just buy in and do it + the cost of the program. They had a good thing going and then changed the program where a lot of parents asked why they’re paying so much AND have to do all the work.

 

[Horton]

I know that with family formation, the goal is far more than just educating youth and children. Being around it for 3 years now, it really feels like the emphasis is far more on the parents than the kids.

The emphasis is getting parents to be the main teachers of the faith to their family. That very well may include increasing the knowledge of the faith for the parents. If a parent converts, that is icing, not the cake.

 

[DiZent]

I will review the Sophia institute website again, as it was over 3 years ago the last time I reviewed it.

Not disputing you, but this what is what I found on the Sophia Institute FAQ.

But what if parents don’t want to be bothered and remove their child from religious instruction altogether? Wouldn’t we be better off just maintaining the status quo?​

This did not prove to be the case in the pilot tests we conducted among nine parishes nationwide. While it is true that some parents will likely decide to offer no instruction than to participate in this program, the vast majority of families are finding A Family of Faith to be far more flexible, enabling them to transform the family activities they already do into encounters with God. Parents are able to enter into those “teachable moments” of everyday life. A Family of Faith leads parents into a conversion to Jesus Christ, which is beneficial to the parish, but most of all to the children they are raising.

Sorry you were made to feel that conversion to Catholicism was the goal. Yes, there are difficulties, but you have already demonstrated commitment to your children’s faith formation. Look at the materials with the goal of increased understanding rather than conversion & bring to the table what you can.

 

[TC3033]

I went back to the website and yes, from the last time I was on that site looking at the material it has changed quite a bit. All of their FAQ’s are different. Like I said, that was 3 years ago. I’m still fairly certain that I read conversion of the NC parent was A goal of the program.

Either way, we’re getting off track here… We’ll see how this year goes, I have the feeling that this year is going to be growing disconnection with the families in the parish. I feel the program is being forced on the RE’s…I think they can see it’s not working, but aren’t allowed to change it. I think it’s a mandate from the top, and he’s starting to get frustrated at how much the parents are being turned off by the program. My $.02. Our frustration is the cost and basically my wife switched to this parish because they had such a strong classroom program. Now parents who push for it are put down by those in charge…

 

[TC3033]

To be fair, I never said it was the cake…but it was an ingredient.

Like I said, we’ll see how this goes this year. We’ll be pretty disconnected, the last couple years have been a pretty steady decline in participation. Three years ago when the program started, it was strong for about 2 months, then it really dropped off and has steadily declining…which is too bad. They had a really solid program before switching to the family program. It really irked a lot of parents (especially when we saw the cost).

 

[DiZent]

I feel the program is being forced on the RE’s…I think they can see it’s not working, but aren’t allowed to change it. I think it’s a mandate from the top, and he’s starting to get frustrated at how much the parents are being turned off by the program. My $.02. Our frustration is the cost and basically my wife switched to this parish because they had such a strong classroom program.

Some of our catechists felt the same way, but others have embraced it. AFoF actually could be presented using a modified version of the old model with weekly meetings. Parent meeting with teacher led classroom on the 1st (Monday or whichever day you met) - sign up sheets for hosting a Co-op (grade level or family) group on the other weeks with help & support from the catechists - this allows the “natural teachers” to emerge among the parents & they take turns - no one family has to do the teaching every week. (Yep, that is the way we should have done it - wouldn’t have been so drastic)
The cost is probably because the program uses handbooks & workbooks and for the facility. They could hold a fundraiser to offset the cost - we have done that.

 

[TC3033]

I think that’s kind of what they’re doing this year. They’ve added A LOT more days for coming to church to work on the program. I think that there’s quite a few parents that are looking at it as added weeknight commitment and a way of “forcing” them to fellowship. Many parents complained of not even doing the lessons at home, so now they’re doing it at the church too. At that point, I know for some, why don’t we just bring the old program back.

As far as the price goes, here is the just of the upsetness: With the old program we had: Busing from the elementary school, snacks, a 1hr classroom session and a nice meal together afterwards (for a free will donation)…that was all done for the same price. I know for a lot of us, this actually saved families money in the long run. That was one day a week we didn’t need to pay for after school daycare as the program was from 3:30 - 5:00.

Speaking from the majority of parents: Now the program is the same price, we need to do all of the work and invest weeknight(s) to do it. I think that’s a big reason the program is going over like a lead balloon.

 

[DiZent]

With the old program we had: Busing from the elementary school, snacks, a 1hr classroom session and a nice meal together afterwards (for a free will donation)…that was all done for the same price.

If I understand correctly, the children (K-6) arrived by bus at 3:30, class from 4-5 pm & the parents did not arrive until 5:00 for the meal and brought the (Gr. 7-10) students. Yes, I can see where this was very convenient. Was there any adult instruction during the meal? I wonder how they got volunteer teachers from 4-5 pm. And the busing part (nice as it was) would not fit in with the family model. And that alone should have reduced the cost unless it was paid by the county - some jurisdictions do provide busing for non-public schools.

I think it important to at least acknowledge that there was “something lost” in the transition. I am curious about how “some” of the elements of the old program could be woven into the new; like having the dinner just before the parent meeting & the kiddos have a class with a teacher/catechist while the parents meet. Our proposed co-ops (in-between) are completely voluntary - a jump start for those who are struggling with the home lessons, but those could also begin with a meal/refreshments. We have not implemented the large group activity - when we had them in the past (with the old programs) they were not well attended.

Look at the bigger picture & be encouraged. Look for those points of agreement where you can give affirmation to your children’s faith formation - this will benefit them - no matter what program they are in.

 

[TC3033]

If I understand correctly, the children (K-6) arrived by bus at 3:30, class from 4-5 pm & the parents did not arrive until 5:00 for the meal and brought the (Gr. 7-10) students.

Correct

And that alone should have reduced the cost unless it was paid by the county - some jurisdictions do provide busing for non-public schools.

I believe the parish had their own bus/passenger van. I think the DRE is actually the one that drove over and picked the kids up.

I am curious about how “some” of the elements of the old program could be woven into the new; like having the dinner just before the parent meeting & the kiddos have a class with a teacher/catechist while the parents meet.

IDK, they could give it a shot…but it’s still a night that the parents need to commit which is one facet to why I think the program is really struggling.

We have not implemented the large group activity - when we had them in the past (with the old programs) they were not well attended.

I don’t think we attended many (any?) of the activity nights. We always had something else going on.

 

[Horton]

but it’s still a night that the parents need to commit

This is, in general, the thing that weakens even the best of programs. Parents unwilling to commit to putting in the work. I can teach your kids a lot in the 8 months they show up on Sunday afternoon for an hour of instruction, however when the parents feel “pressured” into committing to their child’s religious formation, it’s just too much. Parents don’t want to back it up by attending Mass, reconciliation, family prayer, or even just talking about faith with their kids, it’s too much for them to do.

 

[TC3033]

Agreed, I also understand the frustration of the parents feeling that they’re the ones being forced to come in for their kids classes, then are picking up a pretty sizable tab for it to go home and do the work.

I also understand where my wife (and other parents) are coming from as well. Like she says: I’ve already spent my time going through the classes, it’s their turn…not my turn again. Like I said…I totally get that too.

 

[Horton]

I think if parents are feeling “forced” to have their child educated in the Catholic faith, then there is something really wrong with those parents. I’m sorry, but if that is the attitude, why bother?

 

[Angel_Bradford]

This is also year 3 for us and, like your parish, the adults who attend do seem to enjoy the sessions. We do not get the response we should be getting, but it is somewhat well-attended. This year we are going to be showing Bishop Barron’s Catholicism series.

 

[TC3033]

I don’t know that parents feel they’re being forced to “have” their children educated, but rather being the ones that need to commit the time to go to classes, the money and then take the time themselves to do the lessons. I get where those parents are coming from, especially considering the program the parish had offered before.