Family/Friends living in mortal sin

[Booter]

I don’t really know what to do about this except pray. E.g. A friend of mine told me yesterday that when he bought sneakers he put them in a different box to get them cheaper. Obviously this is stealing, but all I said was “pshhh.” I mean I could have rebuked him but I didn’t, on the other hand he’s not an idiot, he should know what he’s doing is wrong, but like many others he just doesn’t care. I pray for all of my family/friends, but what more could you do? When’s the right time for direct confrontation? In my mind, it should be when you are being led into their sin, or when there is other people’s well being at stake. Note, I tend to be un-comfrontational. What do you think?

 

[JRKH]

These things are very difficult to understand and to deal with. I too am a non-confrontational type.
By all means do continue to pray for your friends and family members.

As for confronting them etc, it gets ticky depending on whether they are friend or family, whether they are “religious” or not etc. Each instance must be weighed on it’s own merit.

At it’s most basic level you should let them know that such things are wrong and hurtful to others. They will no doubt wish to justify their action by saying something like - it’s not that big, or some such nonsense. Then you can only engage them to a limited degree about how stealing (or whatever) is never small.

The biggest thing you can do is pray and preach by action. By this I mean Live your Christian life to the very best you can. Examples of how you can set an example are,
Don’t laugh at dirty jokes or take part in practical jokes.
Treat everyone around you fairly and with Love.
If someone is bragging about stealling do not give them any support. Let them know that you believe what they did was wrong.
Same thing when people grouse about a cop giving them a ticket. Let them know that the “cop” was only doing his job.
Remain calm at these times and let the Holy Spirit guide you.

Remember what St Francis of Assissi said, Preach teh Gospel Always. When necessary use words.

Hope some of this helps.

Peace
James

 

[larry85704]

It sure is easy to see the flaws in those we love or are friends with.

And then we say they are committing mortal sins. How very sad for you.

In time, if you are lucky, you will realize the many good things that are in this person. You will realize how much this person has contributed to your life and how empty your life would have been without them.

God gives us a very limited supply of family and not an unlimited supply of friends, either.

Perhaps you should learn to cherish this person for all the things that God wants to give you through them. Thinking they live in mortal sin is probably going to hurt your relationship with them. Maybe that is what the Catholic Church is really good at. It gives us a long list of mortal sins that we can see in others. We then feel better because we don’t do that. We are better than they are. I assure you, oh better one, Jesus came for the sinners. If you think that you are not a sinner then He didn’t come for you, did He?

If you apply all the Catholic Churches rules and definitions that have been issued it is very likely that we all are committing a grave sin, but not a mortal sin. Please forget about mortal sins, let God worry about that. Think about what you can do best to bring Jesus to your friend. And maybe find a few friends that want to bring Jesus’ love into your life too.

 

[brittrossiter]

Since you say this is your friend, if you are truly his friend, you should confront him. If my best friend did what you described, I’d confront him. I’d be no friend of his if I sat by idly, saying nothing, watching the person who I call my best friend dancing merrily down the road to hell (as Fr. Corapi might say).

 

[Booter]

I wasn’t just talking about this one instance to determine whether or not somone is in mortal sin. Objectively speaking, many of my friends and family are most likely living in mortal sin. Not going to Mass on Sundays and Holydays, Fornication, Excessive Drunkeness etc…I wasn’t passing judgement on someone myself, I am going according to the Church’s precepts. My only real point is that it is hard enough to keep myself out of sin, let alone confront others about their own sins. I never praise anyone for their sins, the problem I have is I don’t think I speak up when I probably should.

 

[OraLabora]

None of us, and I mean NONE of us, are in a position to determine if someone is in a state of mortal sin or not. A good confessor may be able to make that discernment. But certainly not you or I. For example the person may have deep-seated psychological issues.

You certainly are right to signal your disapproval of stealing, but not in saying that the person committed a mortal sin.

 

[grandfather]

None of us, and I mean NONE of us, are in a position to determine if someone is in a state of mortal sin or not. A good confessor may be able to make that discernment. But certainly not you or I. For example the person may have deep-seated psychological issues.

You certainly are right to signal your disapproval of stealing, but not in saying that the person committed a mortal sin.

There are actions that are objectively evil. We individuals do not determine this. The Church does in her God given role and responsibility as teacher. We do have a responsibility to others, the Church teaches.

We are guilty of another person’s sin in several ways. We are complicit in sin through encouragement, flattery, or silence, failing to warn someone when they are doing sinful things.

The first work of spiritual mercy, get that, mercy, is to rebuke the sinner. That does not mean we have to be minding everyone’s business all the time. We have to let people know where we stand though. There are ways of doing this that are not confrontational or obnoxious. We have to stand up for morality.

If no one does, eventually the immoral rule society, as we see in the laws of our nation today. It starts with me and you.