Family is going back to mass but not confession?

[notredame_999]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

 

[HCC]

notredame_999,

Most of my family, including my mother (former daily communicant), 2 brothers, cousins, aunts, etc all left the Church.:bighanky:

All you can do is say it once and then love them as you can and pray. Pray hard, especially the rosary. Offer your communions for their sacreligious communions. That is really all you can do. Trust me when I say, it is not worth losing your peace over and years of fighting will get you nowhere. Been there!

Pray the rosary!

 

[bkayw]

You might do a computer search and print off an adult examination of conscience for whichever person is the “mover and shaker” in your family.

google.com/search?q=adult+examination+of+conscience+catholic+&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7

 

[Bob_Aliano]

Give them time. It took me nearly 10 years to complete my re-entry. Depending on why they left, what Liturgy was in place then and why they decided to come back all play a factor in the return.

 

[valoriuslobo]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

It’s good they’re going again. Don’t loose track of that! That being said, whenever they receive Communion, they’re adding on to the list of mortal sins that need to be confessed. Perhaps you could remind them of that?

As another poster said, pray pray and pray…especially the rosary.

You are fortunate your parents are going back, but it is they who are particularly fortunate. I have some family members who dropped off along the way and it’s sad.

 

[saveusfromhell]

unfortunatly most of us here or in the same situation. give them green scapulars and say the prayer for them. JESUS i place all my trust in you.

 

[bkayw]

Also, your parents would be welcome to sit in on RCIA meetings, to relearn the Sacraments.

How long have they been away from the Church?

 

[thistle]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

Just a correction.
Receiving Communion is required once a year.
Confession once a year is only required if there are mortal sins to confess. Obviously if anyone had stopped attending Mass for none of the reasons which dispense with the requirement then that would be a mortal sin.
It is also a mortal sin to receive Communion when not in a state of grace.

 

[Neil_Anthony]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

Try focusing on the positive, instead of rules. Witness to them about the graces that you have received from confession, and how it has helped you grow in virtue. Give specific examples of how it has helped you sanctify yourself in ways that they would appreciate. For example, you could point out that you’ve been more respectful to them recently because of graces received in confession. That might help them understand that the sacrament is not just a rule, its a great benefit and gift to us.

 

[Robert_Burns]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

How long have your parents been Catholic? If they have been Catholic for any length of time then they should know the Teachings of the Church. So they cannot use ignorance as an excuse for not going. So then , you are left with the unhappy fact that they have become Cafeteria Catholics.

As others have pointed out - Prayer is the best solution , especially the Holy Rosary. And in discussing religion with them - perhaps you can use things they oppose as criteria for attacking Cafeteriaism itself rather than their opposition with Confession. Ot perhaps discuss the importance of the Sacraments like Baptism for example that they agree with. And above all be a good example to them. And dont forget to Fast and do penance and offer sufferings for the grace from GOD necessary to open their eyes to the truth. Sometimes situations like this can be a test of our own faith to make us become better Catholics.

Maybe say the Holy Rosary as a family. Or get them to join you in a Soup kitchen for the Holidays for the Homeless. And offer all this up to GOD that their eyes be opened to his truths. They may surprise you yet.

pax

 

[StrawberryJam]

I feel very sorry for your parents.

 

[sharmin]

Just a correction.
Receiving Communion is required once a year.
Confession once a year is only required if there are mortal sins to confess. Obviously if anyone had stopped attending Mass for none of the reasons which dispense with the requirement then that would be a mortal sin.
It is also a mortal sin to receive Communion when not in a state of grace.

Unless they didn’t believe missing mass was a mortal sin at the time of doing so.

 

[Shin]

I would talk to the priest about the parish and ask him that he talk to them to help them over that first step back into confession.

 

[thistle]

Unless they didn’t believe missing mass was a mortal sin at the time of doing so.

That’s true but I would find it extremely hard to believe adult Catholics did not know Mass on Sunday was an obligation and an obligation by definition means it is a grave sin not to fulfill it.

However, as the OP ( if I read him/her correctly) has now pointed out that Mass is an obligation they can’t use ignorance from now on as an excuse.
Also the OP has pointed out Confession for mortal sins is also required so the parents now know that too in case they were ignorant about that.

 

[Orleans_Attny]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

I think that you’re entirely wrong that you can’t go to Mass with them. And you’re misunderstanding your position. No one cares about your opinion regarding whether one receives commuion in an appropriate state. It’s not your job to provide your blessing for the recipt of a sacrament. You certainly shouldn’t declare yourself your Family’s Defender-of-the-Sacrament.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t care. And I’m not being too harsh with you.

Take joy in the fact that they’ve returned to the Church. Show them love and respect - as they are due. Go to Mass with them as often as you can - joyously!

Let me share a story:

My wife went 20+ years without taking communion. I prayed often for her to return to that sacrament. And after a couple years of me going regularly, and talking openly about my experiences in the confessional, she eventually went back . . . . 20+ years.

Aplogetics didn’t get her into the confessional. Love and patience and prayer got her there.

Pax,
OA

 

[jmcrae]

My parents are going back to mass, but see no need to go to confession. I am trying to remind that its a sacrament, and has been part of both the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches from the time of the apostles. I am also going to tell them that the church requires confession at least once a year. But they just don’t do it. Part of the problem is the church they go to hardly ever mentions sin, confession, and hell. These are "unpopular’ topics. I can’t go to mass with them because it would be in essene supporting a sacreligious communion. Advice?

Baby steps! Rejoice in the little things, and let the bigger things take their time.

Pray for your parents, and do what you know to be right in order to set a good example, but it’s not your role to teach them their faith - they are not your children, nor your students, nor your employees, so you have no authority over them to tell them what to do. This is the job of their priest, so keep going to Mass with them, and keep encouraging them with positive, kind, loving words.

 

[notredame_999]

How long have your parents been Catholic? If they have been Catholic for any length of time then they should know the Teachings of the Church. So they cannot use ignorance as an excuse for not going. So then , you are left with the unhappy fact that they have become Cafeteria Catholics.

As others have pointed out - Prayer is the best solution , especially the Holy Rosary. And in discussing religion with them - perhaps you can use things they oppose as criteria for attacking Cafeteriaism itself rather than their opposition with Confession. Ot perhaps discuss the importance of the Sacraments like Baptism for example that they agree with. And above all be a good example to them. And dont forget to Fast and do penance and offer sufferings for the grace from GOD necessary to open their eyes to the truth. Sometimes situations like this can be a test of our own faith to make us become better Catholics.

Maybe say the Holy Rosary as a family. Or get them to join you in a Soup kitchen for the Holidays for the Homeless. And offer all this up to GOD that their eyes be opened to his truths. They may surprise you yet.

pax

great advice. Yes this is definetly testing my faith, especially when my parents called me out on my own hypocrisy for missing mass a few weeks ago. They were right, I did committ a serious mortal sin. If I am going to start talking the talk, I need to start walking the walk, my judgement will be harsher than theirs since I have more knowledge of the faith.

Im trying real hard not to be a pharisee, but I just care about their eternal salvation. I also feel that confession and communion are two sacraments that go hand in hand; when the value of one diminishes so does the other. My bet is that most catholics in the west do not go to confession anymore because they don’t believe in the real presence anymore. And to be entirely honest you can’t blame the laity for their blindness when the modern church today does almost everything to hide the real presence: stripping the alter rail, hiding the tabernacle, no mention of confession, renaming confession “reconciliation” etc.

 

[Anne1964]

When I first returned to the Church I couldn’t receive Communion because I needed to have my marriage convalidated.

I asked a friend of mine (also married outside of the Church) to go to Mass with me and she was shocked when I didn’t go with her to receive Communion. She asked me why I didn’t go and I told her I had enough mortal sins to confess, I didn’t need to add to the list.

After I told her that she stopped receiving Communion until she went to confession and dealt with her marriage situation.

I wasn’t preachy or anything. How could I be? I had been away from the Church for years, but I did set a good example for her when I came back and it worked

 

[Robert_Burns]

When I first returned to the Church I couldn’t receive Communion because I needed to have my marriage convalidated.

I asked a friend of mine (also married outside of the Church) to go to Mass with me and she was shocked when I didn’t go with her to receive Communion. She asked me why I didn’t go and I told her I had enough mortal sins to confess, I didn’t need to add to the list.

After I told her that she stopped receiving Communion until she went to confession and dealt with her marriage situation.

I wasn’t preachy or anything. How could I be? I had been away from the Church for years, but I did set a good example for her when I came back and it worked

Great Post. Lots of time It is Our Example that wins the Day.

Pax

 

[sharmin]

That’s true but I would find it extremely hard to believe adult Catholics did not know Mass on Sunday was an obligation and an obligation by definition means it is a grave sin not to fulfill it.

However, as the OP ( if I read him/her correctly) has now pointed out that Mass is an obligation they can’t use ignorance from now on as an excuse.
Also the OP has pointed out Confession for mortal sins is also required so the parents now know that too in case they were ignorant about that.

But if they didn’t BELIEVE it was grave when they were commiting that sin, it is not mortal, even if they were told.