Family Member No Longer Going to Daily Mass

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Hello CAF,

I used to have one member in my family who used to come with me to Daily Mass all the time! We would bike their together and come back! Now all of a sudden, he is starting to say, “I don’t need to go. It’s not required. God is everywhere anyways. I want to stay with the dog. You aren’t waking me up early enough” and it is very, very disappointing. For me, it is a major letdown. He is become persistently obstinate in his lifestyle and is insubordinate to his lawful superiors. I don’t want him to be like this and I want him to change. I want him to know that God calls him to pray, to be holy to know, love and serve Him and only Him, but he chooses to do otherwise. I try to correct him gently, but he provokes me to just become angry, so now I have no choice but to merely pray for him and remain silent. Please pray for me and him, that God may help us in all our endeavors.
So my question is what should I do? I am really confused and frustrated and I want all things to work out.
 
First off, don’t press him. He’s right, daily Mass isn’t required - and while it certainly IS WONDERFUL, it’s not worth a fight.

So he mentioned, “You aren’t waking me up early enough”… maybe consider asking him the night before if he would like you to wake him up early?

Give him the option, but don’t make it a fight. As long as he is going to weekly Mass on Sunday (or Sat Vigil), then he is meeting his obligation.

And of course, keep him in your prayers. 👍
 
I guess, I would try to explain to him why he should be begging to go to Holy Mass every day. Last week, in Vancouver I went to the amazing church: Holy Family Parish run by the FSSP and in the confessional, Fr. Geddes asked me if I attend daily Mass, in which I said no because I have no ride. He later went on to explain how efficacious it is for the soul to go to daily Mass. All in all, just tell him how fortunate he is to go to Mass because there are many people who would love to but, can’t. God Bless. I will pray for him.
 
Yes, the Lord is everywhere, but the Lord (Jesus Christ, Second Person of the Blessed Trinity) told us to take and eat his Body and Blood…(which is a living memorial!) We do that at Mass.
 
Facite said:
Hello CAF,

I used to have one member in my family who used to come with me to Daily Mass all the time! We would bike their together and come back! Now all of a sudden, he is starting to say, “I don’t need to go. It’s not required. God is everywhere anyways. I want to stay with the dog. You aren’t waking me up early enough” and it is very, very disappointing. For me, it is a major letdown. He is become persistently obstinate in his lifestyle and is insubordinate to his lawful superiors. I don’t want him to be like this and I want him to change. I want him to know that God calls him to pray, to be holy to know, love and serve Him and only Him, but he chooses to do otherwise. I try to correct him gently, but he provokes me to just become angry, so now I have no choice but to merely pray for him and remain silent. Please pray for me and him, that God may help us in all our endeavors.
So my question is what should I do? I am really confused and frustrated and I want all things to work out.
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Too bad he feels he needs to justify himself to you. A polite " I no longer desire to attend Daily Mass with you" should be sufficient .

Let go and let God. Who are you to chastise him?
 
It’s not about what you want. It is his free will to attend or not to attend daily Mass, and if he decides to step away for whatever reason then he has that right. He might be experiencing a spiritual dryness spell right now and needs some time to deal with it in his own way.
 
Facite said:
Hello CAF,

I used to have one member in my family who used to come with me to Daily Mass all the time! We would bike their together and come back! Now all of a sudden, he is starting to say, “I don’t need to go. It’s not required. God is everywhere anyways. I want to stay with the dog. You aren’t waking me up early enough” and it is very, very disappointing. For me, it is a major letdown. He is become persistently obstinate in his lifestyle and is insubordinate to his lawful superiors. I don’t want him to be like this and I want him to change. I want him to know that God calls him to pray, to be holy to know, love and serve Him and only Him, but he chooses to do otherwise. I try to correct him gently, but he provokes me to just become angry, so now I have no choice but to merely pray for him and remain silent. Please pray for me and him, that God may help us in all our endeavors.
So my question is what should I do? I am really confused and frustrated and I want all things to work out.
Click to expand...
There really is nothing you need to do about him not going to Daily Mass. Maybe there was a time when he wanted to go, but today he does not. Its okay not to go to Daily Mass.

Have you specifically address his becoming “insubordinate to his lawful superiors”?

Maybe he still does pray and maybe he still is trying to know, love, and serve God.

Why does he need you to wake him up for Mass?

May God give you both peace. May you both stay close to Our Lord.
 
Maybe he needs a better “why” to go to Mass. Maybe the reason’s he was going before were not enough.

These are some of the reasons that I go to daily Mass:

Because Jesus specifically wants ME to go. This to me is a privilege and a calling.

The world depends on my prayers. I think of myself like another Abraham pleading for mercy.

Those who are dying need me to offer Mass for them.

The Mass is of infinite value and there is nothing on this planet that I could do which has such a profound affect for “the good” in the world. I figure if I can only go to Mass then I have done something of infinite value.

I would fall apart if Jesus were not holding me together through His Eucharistic Presence.

Receiving Communion is like “making love.” Jesus and I become one flesh.

Jesus needs me and my love. (Some might argue but through prayer Jesus has let me know how much he needs my love.) I am counting on Him and He is counting on me.

Jesus is the bridegroom and the bride cannot abandon her groom at the altar! He is waiting for me…
 
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