Family members divorced and remarried

[StMartinTours]

Hi, I tried to post this earlier but apparently it didn’t go through. A month ago I posted about an uncle of mine who was divorced and engaged to be married again. Well, the marriage just took place. I believe that an aunt of mine who is divorced is planning to be married again, too. What should my attitude be towards these relatives now? Especially to my uncle, to whom I am very close. Will they be living in a constant state of sin for the rest of their lives (or as long as these marriages last)?

 

[Spencerian]

Hi, I tried to post this earlier but apparently it didn’t go through. A month ago I posted about an uncle of mine who was divorced and engaged to be married again. Well, the marriage just took place. I believe that an aunt of mine who is divorced is planning to be married again, too. What should my attitude be towards these relatives now? Especially to my uncle, to whom I am very close. Will they be living in a constant state of sin for the rest of their lives (or as long as these marriages last)?

Hi.

You didn’t note whether your aunt or uncle are Catholic, but I will assume they are; otherwise, the Church would have no opinion since they weren’t Catholic and, thus, aren’t subject to the rules we must go by.

If either relative re-marries without the proper nullities of a previous marriage, then yes, they are living in a grave situation. Does that necessarily change the nature of your relationship? I would say, “Not really.”

When seeking out sin, first look in the mirror. Then, despite your relative’s transgressions, see them for the humans they are, and treat them as you would before, keeping in mind that you shouldn’t pretend as if they didn’t make a mistake. Based on your information, they did. You needn’t call them out on it since there’s little point to it. It will likely make them angry. You can pray for them, but we can’t truly become canon law police to people who aren’t aware of the magnitude of what they’re doing wrong.

A tacit way of not playing their game is to “forget” anniversaries or gifts related to the union. I would not go to a wedding of Catholics where norms aren’t properly done, but I might make an exception to relatives because of the nature of that relationship.

 

[cradlecatholic5]

Your attitude should be as was before … loving and respectful.

Judging is ugly.

 

[Rascalking]

Your attitude should be as was before … loving and respectful.

Judging is ugly.

Thank you so much for saying this!

We will never, ever be able to know what happend in someones marriage. Never claim the moral high ground or look down on someone.

Bravo Cradle Catholic!

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi. What should my attitude be towards these relatives now? Especially to my uncle, to whom I am very close. Will they be living in a constant state of sin for the rest of their lives (or as long as these marriages last)?

short answer: you don’t know the state of their souls, you don’t know what steps they have taken or are taking to make their situations right with God and his Church, so you cannot judge. Treat them with honor and respect, and let God handle their souls.

 

[cradlecatholic5]

Thanks Rascal … it’s a daily deal for all of us NOT TO JUDGE.

PuzzleAnnie - AMEN! well said!

 

[StMartinTours]

Thanks for your responses.