Family problem, what to do?

[Safe_Eagle]

I need some good Christian advice hear because i’m kinda torn. My brother recently came back into my life. He’s a strange character. I let him move in for a while and he really took advantage of the situation ie. very unkept, not helping out etc. As of late I have the suspicion he’s doing drugs. My little children don’t want him around they’re 8,9 and 11. He got fired from a great job (baker for Sara Lee) and he doesn’t seem to be looking for a new one too hard at all.

I feel I need to separate myself from him and I don’t like him being around my children. It just feels wrong. But i’m torn in the fact that he is my brother. I don’t want to sin against charity.

I would sure appreciate some advice from my brothers and sisters in Christ on this.

Thanks in advance for you time.

 

[marybell1961]

There’s nothing wrong with setting limits and goals.

Is it possible to sit down with him and go over your concerns and set some ground rules?

If you have someone living in your home, you can certainly have a drug test done if you want to require that.

I particularly appreciate your concern about sinning against charity. My situation would not have gone as badly as it did if my family members had considered that before acting. Your care for your brother is admirable.

I think you have to remember, though, that your first responsibility is to your children.

Is there a way to help your brother, and protect your children, without leaving him homeless and tempting him to despair?

Perhaps alternate living arrangements that would place him elsewhere, with a plan for getting back on his feet, with you providing appropriate help when needed?

I will keep you in my prayers, and I appreciate your kind reply to my post.

 

[Safe_Eagle]

Thanks Marybell

 

[Kathrin]

Have you talked to your brother about how torn you feel?

Kathrin

 

[larry85704]

Tell your brother to move out, in 2 weeks. Then do it. He has no legal right to be there. You will be doing him a favor. If he is on drugs you really need to get him out. Letting him stay with you isn’t good for anybody.

 

[kentuckyliz]

Your primary responsibility is to your children!

Give brother conditions, rules, deadlines, testing, and an eviction date (whether or not he is working). Then on eviction day, happily help him pack up his things and drop him off at the homeless shelter if he has not made other arrangements for himself.

Nothing will be quite as motivating to him to get it together than spending some time in the homeless shelter.

And if he doesn’t get it together because of the drugs, well, better NOT in your house than in it.

Love is tough sometimes. But remember your priorities–your family (your spouse and children) come first.

God bless you.