Family reunions/weddings

[bmaz]

I’m frustrated. I just got back from a family reunion/wedding and our family has Catholics, Evangelicals, non-religious but believe they are saved, atheists and others who have no particular beliefs whatsoever. I was supposed to give out the room assignments. Well, my great nephew lives with his girlfriend, and I didn’t want them sleeping together, so I gave them two rooms, one with twin beds and one with a couch. Well, his mother threw a fit and gave them her bedroom with one bed and she and her husband split where they were sleeping. Ugh. I have such a hard time with this and never know how to handle it. To add to this, my son was getting married, (he left the Church and doesn’t practice anything now) and there was a gay couple at the reception who were kissing and that drove my brothers insane and they left the reception. How do you handle these things? I can’t control other people sinning around me. They are adults. What would you do?

 

[Allegra]

There is nothing you can do but pray. As you said, they are adults.

 

[QwertyGirl]

“I didn’t want them sleeping together”. Wow. I don’t think it is your place to want or not want in this situation.

My advice would be to give the responsibility of room assignments to someone who can do it without feeling they are in a moral dilemma over these things, especially since it sounds like you have a very diverse family. Don’t put yourself in the position at all.

Enjoy your family, and don’t worry about who is sleeping with whom. It is out of your control, and not really your business.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Next time the sleeping arrangements need to be decided ahead of time “okay, this family vacation it we are going to have a ‘only married people sleep in the same room’ rule” or simply hand it over to someone else.

If you do not like the sleeping arrangements, rent your own hotel room.

As for how to deal with people acting in ways you do not approve of at events (wedding receptions, BBQs, family picnics), go to another room, walk away or choose not to attend.

 

[Legend]

You had the choice of being in charge of sleeping arrangements, or not. Unless you own all the property involved, where people end up sleeping is not your call.
Next time your family does something like this, don’t volunteer, and don’t accept the job if it is offered. As for how people behave in public, you and your brothers don’t really have control.

 

[lilypadrees]

Bravo for trying to do the right thing.

 

[Gertabelle]

I was supposed to give out the room assignments… To add to this, my son was getting married…

The mother of the groom had to handle room assignments? Seriously?

Guess I’m just old-fashioned, but back in the day when we were travelling for weddings and/or reunions, everyone just booked their own rooms in the hotel, resort, campground…

 

[bmaz]

We were in a beach house and we paid for the house, everyone staying was our guest. So, I felt some responsibility about the sleeping arrangements, wanted to make sure all the older folks got the better beds, and felt I couldn’t in good faith put them in the same bedroom together, when I was paying for it.

 

[Gertabelle]

Well if you were paying, they should’ve just said “thank you very much” and shut up about their preferences.

 

[LittleFlower]

We were in a beach house and we paid for the house, everyone staying was our guest. So, I felt some responsibility about the sleeping arrangements, wanted to make sure all the older folks got the better beds, and felt I couldn’t in good faith put them in the same bedroom together, when I was paying for it.

Since you were paying for it, you do get to set the rules. However, these need to equitable and no one should be singled out. The rules need to be communicated before people arrive, so that if they disagree, they can find themselves separate accomodation.

However, like with everything in life, there always can be fallout regardless of the intentions.

Did you let them know in advance, that they were going to be sleeping separately?