Family Spiritual Leader - Who is it in your home?

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Arlene:
Sadly, its me…I wish we could be raising the girls in our faith together. I would love to stand aside and have him take over as the spiritual head of our family. But I guess I have to be grateful that he doesn’t stand in our way. Arlene
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Chin up, Arlene!! Your story (loved the part about the day our Holy Father died) reminds me of several extended family members who are, sadly no longer with us. There were decades in which these men either didn’t participate fully with their wives in the Church or were an actual impediment to them. However, both women were some of the most headstrong, uncompromising people I have ever known when it came to their faith. In the end, one (my maternal grandfather) converted and became an incredibly devout and enthusiastic Catholic. The other (my FIL) never formally converted to the faith, but attended church with my MIL and generouly supported what he came to call “our Church” until his dying day. These women blessed their spouses and children with an incredible example of devotion. God may have similar plans for you…He only picks the best of soldiers…keep up the good work!!
 
My family’s a bit odd; I voted other.

I hope this doesn’t sound self-serving, but I think I’m the spiritual leader in our family, even though I’m only 18 and I’m not living at home anymore. My mother and father are in the process of getting divorced. My father doesn’t really talk to me at all, but everyone else in the family comes to me for spiritual advice. My mother comes to me and seems to think I’m a ‘better person’ than she is (whatever that means), and my sister doesn’t talk about spiritual things with anyone in the family except me because I’m the only one who will talk to her without criticizing her. My brother will either come to me or go to my mom, but my mom will usually ask me to talk to him if he goes to her.

Like I said, it’s a bit odd, but it’s what I have.
 
Grace and Glory:
My family’s a bit odd; I voted other.

I hope this doesn’t sound self-serving, but I think I’m the spiritual leader in our family, even though I’m only 18 and I’m not living at home anymore. My mother and father are in the process of getting divorced. My father doesn’t really talk to me at all, but everyone else in the family comes to me for spiritual advice. My mother comes to me and seems to think I’m a ‘better person’ than she is (whatever that means), and my sister doesn’t talk about spiritual things with anyone in the family except me because I’m the only one who will talk to her without criticizing her. My brother will either come to me or go to my mom, but my mom will usually ask me to talk to him if he goes to her.

Like I said, it’s a bit odd, but it’s what I have.
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Wow, God bless you for your faithfulness - you are truly being a blessing to your family!

peace–
magdalisa
 
I answered that the wife/mother is the spiritual leader in our home. BUT I wish it were different. God’s plan for the family is ideally that the Husband/Father is the spiritual head, but as much as I try to defer to my dh, he just doesn’t want to take the lead…

peace–
magdalisa
 
Definitely my husband. I am glad to have it this way too. I have never felt the need for a spiritual advisor as I have him. God has blessed him with wisdom. He is a farmer and around home all day and I am here too. I know this would drive a lot of women crazy but I absolutely love it. We are going on 33 years together. He has been my greatest blessing. Thank you, Jesus.
 
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joanneh:
Definitely my husband. I am glad to have it this way too. I have never felt the need for a spiritual advisor as I have him. God has blessed him with wisdom. He is a farmer and around home all day and I am here too. I know this would drive a lot of women crazy but I absolutely love it. We are going on 33 years together. He has been my greatest blessing. Thank you, Jesus.
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What a beautiful testimony of the love God has given you for one another. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
 
I voted that we are both equal in leading, but I think that we each take a special role in teaching our children the faith. My husband is a very spiritual man and makes decisions about the faith in our household.
Example: He wants to dedicate our home to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and let me pick out the picture we would display. He has very strong feelings on where it should be hung in our home (In the living room so it is always visible). We chose the frame and matting for it together.
I guess that I say equal because of our different roles. He makes big decisions and I do the little things all day long with the children. We have discussions about religion in front our the kids and encourage them to participate.

I guess what I mean to say is I think that we are doing this together, but because my mother was the spiritual leader of my childhood home , I don’t really know what a family with a Father as a spiritual leader looks like. Does my home sound like one?
 
Hi Becky, I think your home sounds like a place where Dad is the spiritual leader; leadership doesn’t mean autocracy. My hubby always makes the final decision especially in matters of faith after we have discussed whatever the issue might be.He always wants my (name removed by moderator)ut. You sound like such great parents. God Bless.
 
Hi all,
my wife and I are new to this whole married business, only been married two weeks in fact, however we spent our time wisely in preparation. We have had many conversations about me being the head of the home and her being the heart. Its difficult but the graces we receive from the effort so far have been so rewarding. I encourage anyone who thinks that ‘they are just no suited to lead or be the heart’ to try it out anyway, God may surprise you.
 
Even though I give our girls the educational part of Catholism, my husband, who isn’t Catholic (yet) goes to church with us every Sunday, Holidays, and on Vacation. So to me, even though he isn’t formed in the Catholic faith, he is faithful and support of the faith and will be a huge influence on the girls! I love him! 👍
 
Coming up on 29 years of marriage, my wife and I are on very equivalent spriitual paths and unquestionably share this equally. While we have a Secular Franciscan “support group” we spend tremendous amounts of time bouncing things back and forth off each other.

What a blessing from God! 😃
 
My husband is the spiritual leader in our family. I think he does a good job but if you ask him he will say he doesn’t do enough. He’s great and we love him for what he does do.
 
I voted husband. I was surprised to see that wife beat out husband with a 50 % of the votes!

I guess his reasons are bible based. But the question I have is how far should you let that dictate how you raise your children, when your husband is not Catholic. He is a good man, with good morals- but will not ever consent to raising our children in the Catholic Church. How far is too far to push this issue? From the verses he’s pointed out to me- the woman needs to be submissive in this area. I’m not saying that I know more, or better than he- but at the same time…

It seems from this poll that many people don’t interperate the bible to mean husbands need to be the spiritual leader. Does anyone have any insight on this?
 
I guess I am a spiritual leader in my marriage (we do not have any kids yet). My wife was raized Catholic, went to a Catholic school, but I really doubt that she had any religious upbringing at home. She has asked me lots of questions about why we do this and that and some of them were quite simple that I was really surprised that she did not know. I know I have a lots of work ahead of me to show her and to teach her that religion is not an hour on Sunday but 24/7 deal.
 
I put that it’s the wife/mother which would be me and I say this becuase my dh is more agnostic than anything. His mom thinks he’ll never convert to such a bad religion (she’s anti-Catholic) and she’ll start arguments with me whenever she can and she preempts them with “My SON would…” (fill in the blank with pretty much any opinion) My dh’s sister is not really anti-Catholic just Catholic-stupid meaning she is against the Church but not hateful about it but not willing to bother to take the time to learn about the Church and is happy in her ignorance yet likes to tell me I’m wrong about my own Church (did ya get that? :ehh: ) DH and I have three girls and they all have been baptised (much to the dismay of my inlaws) and my hubby doesn’t mind. With the death of PJPII, my hubby started asking questions so it’s made me realize that I need to focus on him, not his family. (It’s a bit hard at this time as I haven’t learned just yet to shut them out… but I’m getting there)

Do I wish it was different? yes. I wish my hubby would do it. I know the man is supposed to be the priest of his family and being a military family… I literally do everything in this household. I’d love to relinquish a bit of something to him… I’d love to be able to follow him on something instead of leading all the time. But I have to have patience. God tells us that sometimes a man won’t come around except by watching his wife through the Christian examples she sets. So if I am being used to get to him, then use me up. 😃
 
Wow, not that you all can’t see for yourselves, but I find it very interesting that the wife/mother is in the lead with 53 and the husband/father is behind at 36. Crazy!

But that’s the way things are in today’s modern household. My mom was the spiritual leader in my family too. Even though I’m of a different faith it’s me who says to my fiancee “are we going to church tomorrow?” “dont’ forget to set your alarm for church” “we have a meeting tonight. don’t forget to get ready” Sometimes it just falls to the woman because I think in some cases we are more sensitive to things like that.

It’s too bad since the Bible says that the leader should be the husband/father figure.
 
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Jaded27:
Wow, not that you all can’t see for yourselves, but I find it very interesting that the wife/mother is in the lead with 53 and the husband/father is behind at 36. Crazy!
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Not so unusual when you consider who attends Mass… weekdays are almost all the women, few men. And on Sundays, if a family member is missing, it seems to be the husband.

What is the matter with us guys… no guts, no glory.

On the other hand, many non-Catholic households I know of have find the man leading the spiritual life in more open, more consistend ways that us Catholic men.

So… all you women out there… keep praying and stand by your man… I mean KNEEL by your man.
 
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