Family unsupportive of Traditional Faith

[Rich_C]

Perhaps this quote from the orginal post will help you see through my glasses.

-Tim-

It sounds to me like his family treated him as less Catholic and he tried to prove that the EF Mass and traditional devotions are still totally Catholic despite being marginalized, but finds it exasperating after having to do it again and again.

 

[TimothyH]

Tim’s reaction made no sense to me. Here is this young man who would like people to recognize that he is still a Catholic even though he attends the EF, and he gets accused of trying to convert them.

Expecting Catholics to accept Church teaching (Summorum Pontifium or that women cannot be ordained) is not trying to convert them. We ought to measure people’s actions by how they compare to Church teaching, not assume that a religious sister must be right merely because she is a sister.

For some it doesn’t stop with the beauty and reverence in the Extraordinary Form.

For some it goes on to how through it, they have come to realize that everyone else around them was a sinner, and realized that it was their God given vocation to convert all of their family, friends, coworkers and fellow Catholics to the beauty of the Extraordinary Form so that they too might relize how sinful they were and ammend their lives.

And time again, it ends in frustration, resentment, anger and exhaustion. Those are not fruits of the Holy Spirit. There is something wrong with the equation here, when it ends in resentment and anger toward our own family. That’s really my point.

-Tim-

 

[TrueLight]

Tim’s reaction made no sense to me. Here is this young man who would like people to recognize that he is still a Catholic even though he attends the EF, and he gets accused of trying to convert them.

Expecting Catholics to accept Church teaching (Summorum Pontifium or that women cannot be ordained) is not trying to convert them. We ought to measure people’s actions by how they compare to Church teaching, not assume that a religious sister must be right merely because she is a sister.

There does tend to be a knee-jerk reaction from some laity on CAF whenever someone implies that a Religious may be wrong in some way.

 

[ProVobis]

I am more or less your age and a traditional Catholic who goes to a Ukrainian rite parish. After several years, my family finally understands that the church I go to is Catholic. The best way to deal with family is simply don’t bring the subject up, if religion comes up change the topic.

I agree with this advice. Respect their position and they should respect yours. Families don’t always vote the same way, I imagine their spiritual needs are different as well.

 

[Rich_C]

For some it doesn’t stop with the beauty and reverence in the Extraordinary Form.

For some it goes on to how through it, they have come to realize that everyone else around them was a sinner, and realized that it was their God given vocation to convert all of their family, friends, coworkers and fellow Catholics to the beauty of the Extraordinary Form so that they too might relize how sinful they were and ammend their lives.

And time again, it ends in frustration, resentment, anger and exhaustion. Those are not fruits of the Holy Spirit. There is something wrong with the equation here, when it ends in resentment and anger toward our own family. That’s really my point.

-Tim-

Tim,
Even though the situation you describe above happens, you’re being part of the problem here by not allowing that in this instance it’s the other way around. Why not show some sympathy?

 

[justme]

There does tend to be a knee-jerk reaction from some laity on CAF whenever someone implies that a Religious may be wrong in some way.

From the “Please read before posting” thread at the top of this forum.

Let’s talk about clergy and religious . . .

 

[justme]

Tim,
Even though the situation you describe above happens, you’re being part of the problem here by not allowing that in this instance it’s the other way around. Why not show some sympathy?

That’s the problem I have with these sort of threads.

We only have the OP’s version of the story. We do have the other side of the story.

Yes we can show sympathy but in doing so do we not malign those that the OP is talking about. Must we not assume that they are in the wrong.

Could it not be just as easy to assume that the OP, while being sincere, in his feelings and beliefs, that he may be coming off as a know it all and showing a superior attitude to everyone who he disagrees with?

 

[Diana_Catherine]

For some it doesn’t stop with the beauty and reverence in the Extraordinary Form.

For some it goes on to how through it, they have come to realize that everyone else around them was a sinner, and realized that it was their God given vocation to convert all of their family, friends, coworkers and fellow Catholics to the beauty of the Extraordinary Form so that they too might relize how sinful they were and ammend their lives.

And time again, it ends in frustration, resentment, anger and exhaustion. Those are not fruits of the Holy Spirit. There is something wrong with the equation here, when it ends in resentment and anger toward our own family. That’s really my point.

-Tim-

Things like that do happen but it happens on both sides of the coin and in many ways. Even if it does happen that doesn’t mean that is what the OP was doing or even said was happening.

 

[TrueLight]

From the “Please read before posting” thread at the top of this forum.

Let’s talk about clergy and religious . . .

Saying that Aunt so and so, who happens to be a nun, and has some teaching that is not completely orthodox, is being disrespectful or arrogant?

That’s the problem I have with these sort of threads.

We only have the OP’s version of the story. We do have the other side of the story.

Yes we can show sympathy but in doing so do we not malign those that the OP is talking about. Must we not assume that they are in the wrong.

Could it not be just as easy to assume that the OP, while being sincere, in his feelings and beliefs, that he may be coming off as a know it all and showing a superior attitude to everyone who he disagrees with?

Frankly if we all followed this policy, there would be like 5 posts on CAF.

Unless it is a news story, it will always be someone’s account of something.

Anytime someone is sharing his or her experience, it will be from his viewpoint. Yes, we can point out different ways that the person can look at the situation, but we can also give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

That’s the problem I have with these sort of threads.

We only have the OP’s version of the story. We do have the other side of the story.

Yes we can show sympathy but in doing so do we not malign those that the OP is talking about. Must we not assume that they are in the wrong.

Could it not be just as easy to assume that the OP, while being sincere, in his feelings and beliefs, that he may be coming off as a know it all and showing a superior attitude to everyone who he disagrees with?

It is true we don’t know both sides of the story, so we must go with the OP story. We won’t hear the other side so we must trust he is telling us the truth and not assume the worse of him because that is wrong also and two wrongs don’t make a right.

We can answer him without saying anything against him or religious because they both deserve respect.

 

[clem456]

I have had similar disbelief from family and friends concerning my faith. When buddies see me as an EMHC they kinda give that blank stare like “hey whatever you’re into man”.
“What are you doing at the hospital? What are you carrying around your neck? Oh really. Ok man we’ll catch y a later”.
“What meeting do you have on Friday morning? You guys read the Bible? Kind early to get up for that, har har har”.

Some of my family does not think it’s cool to be a commited Catholic, obeying all the “out of touch rules” etc…“they hate women you know”.

To the OP, your post describes an almost unbelievable animosity from your family, really that is extremely oppressive. I have not heard of that degree of rancor from immediate family. If I was receiving that degree of feedback from people I love, I also would be looking in the mirror, and -I am not judging your beliefs-…, just making an observation, and also considering your age and who is giving you the feedback.

 

[Rich_C]

That’s the problem I have with these sort of threads.

We only have the OP’s version of the story. We do have the other side of the story.

Yes we can show sympathy but in doing so do we not malign those that the OP is talking about. Must we not assume that they are in the wrong.

Could it not be just as easy to assume that the OP, while being sincere, in his feelings and beliefs, that he may be coming off as a know it all and showing a superior attitude to everyone who he disagrees with?

Some people don’t have anyone IRL to talk to about their faith, that’s why they visit CAF. The least we can do is be welcoming. Many posters have exhibited sympathy while encouraging the OP to be humble and charitable towards his family. Doesn’t that answer the objection of being partisan in our sympathy? We can give the OP the benefit of the doubt while warning him against doing wrong. I would object to a round condemnation of his family as much as I objected to a strongly worded condemnation of the OP from a certain poster. You make a good point.

 

[TimothyH]

Tim,
Even though the situation you describe above happens, you’re being part of the problem here by not allowing that in this instance it’s the other way around. Why not show some sympathy?

You are absolutely right. I see that now. I apologize for getting involved and for my reaction. I hope you, the OP and everyone else can forgive me.

-Tim-

 

[Rich_C]

You are absolutely right. I see that now. I apologize for getting involved and for my reaction. I hope you, the OP and everyone else can forgive me.

-Tim-

Tim,

You are a Catholic gentleman, and I know I can count on you to correct me fraternally when needed.

v/r
Rich

 

[The_Curt_Jester]

I don’t have Catholic family members that deride me for my beliefs or what I do, but I do have protestant members who, I know, dislike the Catholic faith. However, usually there’s a silent agreement to not talk about religion around them and that’s how it works out. However, I don’t see them much either. I think just setting an example is probably the best thing you can do. Of course, be prepared to defend your Faith should they continue on the offensive.

He made perfect sense to me. Take care of the log in my eye before the speck in another’s. Especially if the other has literally given her life over to Christ as a consecrated religious.

That consecrated religious is for women priests. Who has the log in the eye here? Because a person is a religious does not mean that person is right, and seemingly, despite the vows they may take, I know of some that almost certainly didn’t give their lives to God (actions speak louder). I also know of some that are very, very good examples of devout Catholics who HAVE given their lives to God. But don’t just say “Consecrated religious? Then the other guy must be wrong!”

 

[OraLabora]

That consecrated religious is for women priests. Who has the log in the eye here? Because a person is a religious does not mean that person is right, and seemingly, despite the vows they may take, I know of some that almost certainly didn’t give their lives to God (actions speak louder). I also know of some that are very, very good examples of devout Catholics who HAVE given their lives to God. But don’t just say “Consecrated religious? Then the other guy must be wrong!”

Go back and read the original post. The OP spoke of two different religious aunts and only said that one was in favour of women priests.

And be that as it may, just because we disagree with someone is no reason to take on a superior air, even if we are right and the other is wrong. A little dose of humility goes a long way.

 

[justme]

Saying that Aunt so and so, who happens to be a nun, and has some teaching that is not completely orthodox, is being disrespectful or arrogant?

Did you read the whole post linked?

If you have an issue with them, take it up in private, not on this forum or any of our forums.[/indnet]

Frankly if we all followed this policy, there would be like 5 posts on CAF.

Unless it is a news story, it will always be someone’s account of something.

Anytime someone is sharing his or her experience, it will be from his viewpoint. Yes, we can point out different ways that the person can look at the situation, but we can also give them the benefit of the doubt.

So then no one should get upset when others feel like giving the benefit of the doubt to the voiceless.​

 

[justme]

It is true we don’t know both sides of the story, so we must go with the OP story. We won’t hear the other side so we must trust he is telling us the truth and not assume the worse of him because that is wrong also and two wrongs don’t make a right.

We can answer him without saying anything against him or religious because they both deserve respect.

Knowing the fact that we do not have the whole story demands that in charity we think the best of those who are being talked about behind their backs.

This is gossip.

 

[OraLabora]

Knowing the fact that we do not have the whole story demands that in charity we think the best of those who are being talked about behind their backs.

This is gossip.

In this case, almost calumny.

 

[The_Curt_Jester]

Go back and read the original post. The OP spoke of two different religious aunts and only said that one was in favour of women priests.

And be that as it may, just because we disagree with someone is no reason to take on a superior air, even if we are right and the other is wrong. A little dose of humility goes a long way.

And if you read my post, you’ll notice that I used singular. I tend to read through posts before I answer them. I’m not sure about other people…

Superior air? You’re definitely reading more than what’s in the original post. I think sometimes people just think that because a person goes to the TLM he’s automatically a person with “superior airs”. There has been no indication that he’s taken that attitude with them. .