Family Voting

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grumpygusguy

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How do you forgive your family for the way they voted this year? Most of my family voted for Romney, but a few members not only voted for Obama but even had bumper stickers on their car for him! My conservative family members are going on like nothing ever happened but I cant get over it. I know that my state was probably going to go Obama but still, I cant forgive them for helping. How do I forgive them or do I need to put more space between us?
 
Is it that hard to forgive someone for being stubbornly wrong-headed?
It’s a good habit; it makes looking in the mirror much easier!!

I’m only joking a little bit. There will be a day when you rush in and do something you think very wise and helpful and praiseworthy and all the rest, but you will see that in retrospect you were a jack***. If it has been the habit of your heart to give the benefit of the doubt to those who mean well but act like fools, you will deal much more profitably with yourself when it is your turn.

THE FOOL’S PRAYER

by: Edward Rowland Sill (1841-1887)

*The royal feast was done; the King
Sought some new sport to banish care,
And to his jester cried: “Sir Fool,
Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!”

The jester doffed his cap and bells,
And stood the mocking court before;
They could not see the bitter smile
Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee
Upon the Monarch’s silken stool;
His pleading voice arose: "O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!

"No pity, Lord, could change the heart
From red with wrong to white as wool;
The rod must heal the sin: but Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!

"'Tis not by guilt the onward sweep
Of truth and right, O Lord, we stay;
'Tis by our follies that so long
We hold the earth from heaven away.

"These clumsy feet, still in the mire,
Go crushing blossoms without end;
These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust
Among the heart-strings of a friend.

"The ill-timed truth we might have kept–
Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung?
The word we had not sense to say–
Who knows how grandly it had rung!

"Our faults no tenderness should ask.
The chastening stripes must cleanse them all;
But for our blunders – oh, in shame
Before the eyes of heaven we fall.

“Earth bears no balsam for mistakes;
Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool
That did his will; but Thou, O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!”

The room was hushed; in silence rose
The King, and sought his gardens cool,
And walked apart, and murmured low,
“Be merciful to me, a fool!” *
 
Many in my family voted for Obama. I find no need to forgive anyone. If you can’t get along with someone because of a political difference then that’s an issue you should address in my opinion. You shouldn’t have to distance yourself from anyone unless you have other issues besides politics
 
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grumpygusguy:
How do you forgive your family for the way they voted this year? Most of my family voted for Romney, but a few members not only voted for Obama but even had bumper stickers on their car for him! My conservative family members are going on like nothing ever happened but I cant get over it. I know that my state was probably going to go Obama but still, I cant forgive them for helping. How do I forgive them or do I need to put more space between us?
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Pray for them. They may not understand Church teaching (especially if they aren’t practicing.) If political exchanges regularly become heated in your family, avoid them and focus on being a good example of a practicing Catholic, which of course involves much more than voting.

My husband voted for Obama. He followed the dictates of his conscience, and while I think he severely underestimates the destructive power of secular culture, I know that he thinks he made the best choice he could. I disagree, but I am not going to stop being his wife over it (not that I could.) You never know what could happen. Four years ago, I was a militantly pro-choice radical feminist - but thanks to someone’s prayers and the power of the Holy Spirit I’m not on that path anymore.

Posted from Catholic.com App for Android
 
grumpygusguy said:
How do you forgive your family for the way they voted this year? Most of my family voted for Romney, but a few members not only voted for Obama but even had bumper stickers on their car for him! My conservative family members are going on like nothing ever happened but I cant get over it. I know that my state was probably going to go Obama but still, I cant forgive them for helping. How do I forgive them or do I need to put more space between us?
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So the holidays are coming up…

so by distancing yourself (the only option you see) and not forgiving them you are willing to forgo Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, birthdays, and any future family gatherings?

Or more sarcastically put: who loss the election – you or Romney?

Dear friend, you can react to your relatives anyway you feel. But if you don’t forgive and choose to distance yourself, please don’t post in the future how frustrated and isolated you are when it comes to your family. The ball is in your court.

Forgive and live with the consequences of YOUR choices
Don’t forgive and live with the consequences of YOUR choices
 
If you can’t preach the truth calmly and exhibit the mastery of the Holy Spirit over you when you are opposed, it is probably better to shake that topic’s dust from your feet, and move on. By the same token, if your family cannot discuss politics without getting rancorous about it, it is better to just stay off the subject. Rather, stick to those topics that do not rob you and yours of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, if only for the practical reason that these are necessary in those who would convince the unconvinced of the truth. Truly, those who show that the flesh has mastery over them will undermine their claim to be speaking God’s truth at the same time:

“Now the works of the flesh are obvious…hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy… and the like…In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” from Gal. 5:19-23

If you review the concession speech of Gov. Romney, by the way, I think you will see this principal rather well-exhibited.

Speaking of the Holy Spirit, pray for the President, too, and for his administration. The Holy Spirit can reach hearts that we cannot reach with the loudest shouting.
First of all, then, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings be offered for everyone, for kings and for all in authority, that we may lead a quiet and tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. 1 Tim. 2:1-2
 
Do you generally believe your opinion is right and obsess over someone who disagrees with it? If so, that’s very unhealthy I think.
 
You are very upset right now that your guy lost (many of us feel the same) but you have to learn to get along with people despite their bad choices especially when it involves family members. You have to love them despite their stupidity. I second the advice asking you to be the best Catholic and most honorable person in your words, thoughts and actions. By achieving this goal over time you will gain respect from people even if you never convince them that your political/social/religious views are superior to theirs. You will still have an impact based on your character and someday these relatives may even change opinion because they respect you a great deal. But this takes time because most people find it hard to admit they were wrong and many in our society are takers and want a socialistic country and are willing to give up freedom for what they perceive as goodies. Put your energy into finding others who feel the way you do and work for change and don’t worry about winning arguments with the folks. Be patient, enjoy your Thanksgiving and pray for those family members.
 
Quoting Monsignor Swetland of Go Ask Your Father when asked about difficult family relationships:

God never said “Thou shalt be right.”
 
grumpygusguy said:
How do you forgive your family for the way they voted this year? Most of my family voted for Romney, but a few members not only voted for Obama but even had bumper stickers on their car for him! My conservative family members are going on like nothing ever happened but I cant get over it. I know that my state was probably going to go Obama but still, I cant forgive them for helping. How do I forgive them or do I need to put more space between us?
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there is no moral obligation to vote for one candidate over the other. the only thing that would be sinful would be to vote against their own conscience.
 
tsunami7 said:
there is no moral obligation to vote for one candidate over the other. the only thing that would be sinful would be to vote against their own conscience.
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Just to clarify: The necessity to act according to conscience implies a properly-formed conscience: that is, an inner moral guide taught by truth, not the emotional resistance or pull towards one direction or another as “feeling right”. If your conscience tells you to do things that you realize are objectively wrong, then this tells you that you suffer from a misformed conscience. You are then morally bound to re-form your conscience and act accordingly.

The issue of voting, however, usually includes weighing not only the differences in what candidates say and promise, but also the issue of what the best judgement of prudence concludes that each candidate is likely to do. We are not bound to believe what candidates claim, but may decide according to what it seems their election would actually accomplish or even what a particular vote is likely to say. That is less a matter of individual conscience than of individual deduction from limited information. Sometimes even the “best” candidate leaves serious doubts, and those can be taken into account when voting.
 
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