Fasting Dilemma

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fencetennis

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After an enlightening fasting experience during Lent this year, I decided to continue the discipline throughout the year. On Wednesdays and Fridays I have been fasting on bread and water and I really appreciate the spiritual growth that fasting is helping me to achieve. My problem is that I don’t know how to handle social situations that conflict with fasting. For example, tonight I have a social dinner that I have been invited to, but I do not know how to appropriately and politely deny the food that will be served. I also face similar dilemmas when I am eating with people at school. Although I never try to draw attention to myself while fasting, but people still seem to notice me and then are concerned about why I am not eating. Do you have any advice or tips for me? Thank you and God Bless!
 
First and foremost welcome to the wonderful world of Voluntary Poverty! As you’ve noticed there’s great growth and freedom from fasting. I’ve been eating one a half (sometimes less than that, sometimes two) meals a day seven days a week for fasting, and have been for around five or six years now. It varies depending on the situation, but here’s what I’ve done;
  • Sometimes I’ll say “I had something before I came over, so no thanks” when visiting friends. Polite, charitable, and typically you had something (in your case bread)
  • Sometimes I’ll simply say “no thank you, I’m fasting”. Practicing Catholics (and some people of other faiths even) will understand this and respect it. Some might even be inspired to join you!
  • Are unbelievers asking you? If so what a great chance to evangelize. A great time to really spread the Word of God through your actions. “Preach the Gospel at all times. And when necessary use words”. This is doubly great because as you are explaining to someone about your fasting, you can offer up your fasting for them at the same time. You don’t need to be anvilicious/Bible thumping about it, but just some words about that you’re fasting and a bit why. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, simply just say “I’m fasting as a form of prayer”. If people insist on wanting more information, give them the information accordingly 🙂
  • Sometimes I’ve had to simply accept people’s charity and eat the food. If this is the case I’d make it up later on. A wedding for example; in your case I’d accept their charity because wedding food costs serious money and simply fast another day. In my case I would simply plan my day so that the wedding meal was my main meal.
EDIT: The bread and water fast is hardcore, and I’m glad you’re only doing it twice a week. Good on ya for jumping into something like that! 🙂
 
It seems to me it might be more than a bit awkward to refuse the food your host has prepared after you accepted the dinner invitation. In this case, it might be kinder to fast on Saturday instead.
 
Fasting is definitely a good thing, but in Christianity charity is the highest law. Personally, I would eat whatever I was offered.

For future situations, ask your priest for his judgment.
 
fencetennis said:
After an enlightening fasting experience during Lent this year, I decided to continue the discipline throughout the year. On Wednesdays and Fridays I have been fasting on bread and water and I really appreciate the spiritual growth that fasting is helping me to achieve. My problem is that I don’t know how to handle social situations that conflict with fasting. For example, tonight I have a social dinner that I have been invited to, but I do not know how to appropriately and politely deny the food that will be served. I also face similar dilemmas when I am eating with people at school. Although I never try to draw attention to myself while fasting, but people still seem to notice me and then are concerned about why I am not eating. Do you have any advice or tips for me? Thank you and God Bless!
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I would eat what was set before me. Opinions follow…🙂

As a member of the CFP, I try to live by their rules. Here is something on the fasting problem.

“9b. Penitents who are guests in the homes of others, or who have been invited out to eat, are permitted to eat what is set before them so as not to embarrass the host unless that day is a day of fast and/or abstinence enjoined by the Church.”

That’s one opinion. Another point is that in CFP we try not to make a show of our fasting, since there is a temptation to impress others. Spiritual pride. God loves obediance much more then mortifications. Ideally, nobody but your closest friends would know what days you fast. “Comb your hair”.😃

After all, you can just quietly move the day of fasting to some other day of the week, without telling anyone. :yup:

Disclaimer: I am age 65, and not required to fast. I also fast Wednesdays and Fridays, all of Lent and Advent, and otherdays. NOT the bread and water fast. Rather, the one moderate meal and two smaller snacks fast. I do this under the care of both my spiritual director AND my Physician:blushing:
 
Charity trumps penance. If someone has prepared you a meal, eat it gratefully and fast another day.

When you are with others at mealtime at school, have a drink with them and eat your meal alone, possibly beforehand, so you can say you already ate.

Betsy
 
fencetennis said:
After an enlightening fasting experience during Lent this year, I decided to continue the discipline throughout the year. On Wednesdays and Fridays I have been fasting on bread and water and I really appreciate the spiritual growth that fasting is helping me to achieve.!
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very good that you experience this growth but it is not or should not be the underlying reason for fasting, which is to conform our will to Christ and as penance and deterence from the inclination to sin. Also be careful about judging personal “spiritual growth” without the outside perspective of a good spiritual director. It is very easy to mislead oneself on that point.

The classic advice seems to be that one should not undertake anything more demanding than the classic penitential practices of the Church without spiritual direction, and this practice is certainly among the classical disciplines. If it becomes an issue in dealings with other people you have to balance it with charity. I doubt if broadcasting what you are doing and offering complicated explanations is going to be spiritually helpful. My advice is to simply eat lightly on these occasions, and do as the apostles did and eat what is offered. The discipline can be charity as well as some self-imposed type or quantity of food.

It is not charitable to accept an explicit dinner invitation and then refuse to eat.
 
Thanks for all the insightful responses! It makes perfect sense to me that a fast can be transferred to another day if there is an important social function on the ordinary fasting day. For some reason I never even considered that solution until now. This is why I love Catholic Answers–there’s always wise and faithful voices who give some solid advice 👍
 
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