Father doesn't stop cursing

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My husband continues to curse in front of our 12-month old son on an almost daily basis. It’s usually not out of surprise or a slip of the tongue; he simply uses curse words when a regular word would get the same point across (e.g. calling poop the s-word).

I’ve tried saying something every time he uses a curse word. I’ve tried ignoring it for extended periods. I’ve tried explaining how important it is to me to preserve my son’s innocence. I’ve tried describing how hearing my sweet baby say a curse word will be devastating for me. Nothing seems to work; he either ignores me, get irritated at me, or says something like “He doesn’t understand English.”

Any thoughts on how to encourage my husband to stop? Or if he doesn’t, how to explain to my child not to do what his father does?
 
Have you tried sitting and talking with your husband at a neutral time (not after he’s just been cursing)? Perhaps sitting down and telling him that regardless of his feelings about cursing, he’s disrespecting you by ignoring your requests. Make the conversation not about the cursing but his refusal (so it seems) to even try to control his mouth.

Good luck
 
I first would ask him right off if he respect you. And if he says yes, they ask why must he use profanity to express himself. I realize that the young culture thinks nothing of using profanity as regular words, but I do not tolerate it. And anyone who is around me respects me enough as not to use it in front of me. Including friends of my numerous nieces and nephews. Had to break in a few friends, but they came around after a little encouragement and talks about respect. Been married over 35 years and can count on one hand the number of times my husband has used profanity in front of me.
 
People that do this don’t realize it. At all. Is there any way you can keep count without angering him? Once I counted how many times someone said “um” in a presentation. Not the same thing, but the person was appalled at how many times it was and immediately realized it made him look really unprepared.
If you could stress the AMOUNT of cussing he does, you could tie it into your child learning to talk and what his first words might be!!!
Nothing like trying to explain to granny why your toddler speaks like a barfly. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately many people think those words are just normal vocabulary anymore. But with a baby in the house, I can clearly understand your concern. People who swear also rarely get promoted at work. It’s something he needs to work on for many reasons.

Good luck!
 
Ask him if he’ll be shocked if one day his son, while still in nappies turns round and tells him to **** off. Because if he carries on cursing in front of his son, his son will grow up thinking this is simply normal conversion. In a few years time, would he like to get spoken by his child’s nursery teacher to say that other parents have been complaining that your son has been swearing at their children? Because this will be where things are heading.
 
Did anyone else read the title and think the OP was talking about her priest or was that just me? (Catholic problems, right?) 😃

I’d simply remind him, gently, from time to time. Maybe suggest he give up swearing for Lent. It can be a hard habit to break (I know from personal experience) especially if your husband’s friends, co-workers, or even the movies and music he watches/ listens to are frequently swearing. The more we hear those words the more they become a part of our “normal” vocab.
 
PietroPaolo said:
It can be a hard habit to break (I know from personal experience) especially if your husband’s friends, co-workers, or even the movies and music he watches/ listens to are frequently swearing. The more we hear those words the more they become a part of our “normal” vocab.
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People choose to swear, when to swear and who to swear in front of. I doubt that there are many people who would turn round, as adults, and use obscene language in front of their mother. Or would people go along to a job interview and use swear words as part of the ‘normal’ vocab? I doubt it.

The fact is that people who swear choose to do so, and use language like this in circumstances where they deem that either it is acceptable to do so, or in circumstances where they feel there will be no undue negative consequences to themselves.

Using foul language in front of young children is unacceptable, and selfish.
 
I don’t disagree with anything you wrote, but it can be a hard habit to break. Of course, wanting to break the habit must come first.
 
PietroPaolo said:
I don’t disagree with anything you wrote, but it can be a hard habit to break.
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Except of course when the person is in a job interview. So it can’t actually be that hard to stop if a person can turn it on and off to suit circumstances.
 
Brendan_64 said:
Except of course when the person is in a job interview. So it can’t actually be that hard to stop if a person can turn it on and off to suit circumstances.
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Agreed. But in those cases, people are actually false. They are pretending to be someone they are not, because they want something.
This man should WANT to be a better father, husband and example.
Praying it changes. SOON.
 
This is a little passive aggressive, but try translating for daddy. Example: “Daddy means, 'What a poopy diaper!” or “Daddy’s had a really poopy day!”

Unless he is a very hard case (which he may be), he’ll start translating himself (at least part of the time).

Oh, and by the way, our baby totally did understand “poop” and “pee” by around 2.
 
Yes, I think there is a difference between littering one’s everyday speech with expletives and shouting one out when you step on a pointy toy in the playroom. I still struggle with the latter, but I’m getting better. Mostly now I make a strangled sound like a dying animal out in the savannah. 😊

The husband has to want to change either, and both are possible but IMO the second is harder and takes longer, because it requires a much higher degree of self-control.
 
Brendan_64 said:
People choose to swear, when to swear and who to swear in front of. I doubt that there are many people who would turn round, as adults, and use obscene language in front of their mother. Or would people go along to a job interview and use swear words as part of the ‘normal’ vocab? I doubt it.

The fact is that people who swear choose to do so, and use language like this in circumstances where they deem that either it is acceptable to do so, or in circumstances where they feel there will be no undue negative consequences to themselves.
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As one who has been known to drop the F-bomb on rare occasions, I agree…we are in complete control of when we swear. Using vulgar language in front of a toddler who is just learning to talk is a guaranteed way to raise a potty mouthed kid. The OP’s husband clearly doesn’t care and is clearly demonstrating that he has no respect for his wife. There probably isn’t much she can do about it at this point other than learn to live with that knowledge.
 
I once had a long term friend, and he was much the same, I had to break the friendship because my new wife, couldn’t stand his vulgarity with cursing , his children were little at the time,and they were like there dad, I suggested many many times that he change his ways but never did, if they don’t make an effort to change themselves,
Then it just isn’t going to happen , I really feel sympathetic towards you because it makes me ill when I hear this rubbish language, If he can’t see what he is doing, it’s tragic ,
Maybe you could suggest counselling for him , so perhaps it could be explained what he is doing, but I doubt he would have any interest in that,
 
I’m a construction worker, and well, I probably don’t have to tell you that cursing is a very normal part of the business.

But I knew that when I came back to the Church, if I was going to walk-the-walk, I would have to talk-the-talk and having a potty mouth would not be a good witness. It is hard to be holy when you have a foul mouth! So I actually gave up cursing for Lent one year, and lo and behold, it worked for me. Of course I wasn’t perfect, but I was well on my way.

So I’m not sure where your husband is with his Catholicism, but you might get him to give up cursing for Lent…
 
PartoftheBody said:
My husband continues to curse in front of our 12-month old son on an almost daily basis. It’s usually not out of surprise or a slip of the tongue; he simply uses curse words when a regular word would get the same point across (e.g. calling poop the s-word).

I’ve tried saying something every time he uses a curse word. I’ve tried ignoring it for extended periods. I’ve tried explaining how important it is to me to preserve my son’s innocence. I’ve tried describing how hearing my sweet baby say a curse word will be devastating for me. Nothing seems to work; he either ignores me, get irritated at me, or says something like “He doesn’t understand English.”

Any thoughts on how to encourage my husband to stop? Or if he doesn’t, how to explain to my child not to do what his father does?
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I’m going to assume that you understand English.

“profanity” has never offended me. Poop and the S word mean the same thing and it’s beyond me why one is more offensive. However, it offends others and for that reason, I attempt not to use those words.

Whether or not your son understands these words, it seems that your husband’s use of them is offensive to you. Again, assuming you understand English. That is reason enough for him to refrain. The creator of the universe created for your husband a woman to be his mate/his better half and the mother of his children. When he is offending this woman, he is also offending God.
 
St_Pancake said:
I’m going to assume that you understand English.

“profanity” has never offended me. Poop and the S word mean the same thing and it’s beyond me why one is more offensive.
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And would you be bothered if you had a 2-year-old son or daughter who used the S word and other profanities?

I know my wife once was shouted at by a toddler in nappies who told her to f_ off you b_rd. No blasphemy there, just profanities. My wife has seen quite a lot of things in her life, but that really shocked her. Would you really think, “Oh well, no big deal” if that a toddler spoke to you like that?

Bringing children up to use profanities helps to destroy their childhood innocence. If a child hears profanities as it is growing up as a baby, that child will regard them as normal conversation and use them as soon as it is able to start putting sentences together.
 
Brendan_64 said:
And would you be bothered if you had a 2-year-old son or daughter who used the S word and other profanities?

I know my wife once was shouted at by a toddler in nappies who told her to f_ off you b_rd. No blasphemy there, just profanities. My wife has seen quite a lot of things in her life, but that really shocked her. Would you really think, “Oh well, no big deal” if that a toddler spoke to you like that?

Bringing children up to use profanities helps to destroy their childhood innocence. If a child hears profanities as it is growing up as a baby, that child will regard them as normal conversation and use them as soon as it is able to start putting sentences together.
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It appears that you are attacking me when my post supported the op. I’m not sure this is an argument worth my time.
 
Hit him with something each time he uses a foul word. Sometimes reasoning and begging just don’t work.
 
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