Father First Name

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deogratias

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One thing that I detest is calling a priest Fr. First Name instead of Fr. Last Name. I feel the same way about teachers and others in authority. How do you feel about this?

I bet no one calls their doctor, Dr. Jim or Dr. good guy. but we call teachers sue and john now - and preists Fr. Joe and Fr. Sam. And I can’t remember when a child did me the honor of calling me Mrs. Last Name.

This, like many things may seem merely symbolic but it is symbolic of authority and respect and perhaps if we returned to that, in our schools especially, children would not treat teachers like trash.

Okay - I’m showing my age but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
 
I agree that we need to respect our priests and others in authority…however, I do call my doctor, Dr. Jim (we went to school together :cool: ). I have made it a practice to ask my priest how he wishes to be addressed. Some have prefered Fr. first name others Fr. last name-- I just try to follow their wishes.
 
I’m probably showing my age when I say that I do call certain priests by their first name, but only when they are referred to mainly like that. If the majority of the people refer to them by their last name, then I will too. Its just what I hear them most commonly called.
 
It depends on what the priest wishes to be called, I think. And I think that it varies from location to location. I remember growing up near San Francisco and then moving to Houston and I was surpsied that people would address each other as “Mrs. Dotty” or “Mr. Bob” It was the respectful way to address people there. Provided you call the priest Father regardless of the name that comes after it, I think it’s up to the priest…
 
I totally agree with you. 😃
A little advice. If you want kids to call you Mrs. Last name then all you have to do is request it from the kids. We do and it does bring upon a certain respect that would otherwise be void.

My children have always used Mr. or Mrs last name when addressing any adult and it continues today in thier teen years.

We have a neighbor that every time my son would call him Mr. Last name he would say no my name is Duane, please call me Duane.
He continued to call him Mr. Last name becuse we instilled that respect in him at an early age.
 
I’m with you on this one! I too think it is rude to say Fr. Bob, rather than Fr. Smith. But there is something I hate even more: BVM as an abbreviation for the Blessed Virgin Mary!

Also: OLOP, abbreviation for Our Lady of Peace, & similar abbreviations. Ugh!
 
For me, too many people mis-pronounce my last name, so it is easier to go by my first name.

I know some priests do the first-name-thing out of a sense of I’m-just-one-of-you, but for me, the reason is different.

In fact, I have been known to correct some people (thankfully, none in my new assignment) who drop the “Fr.”

It’s not a priviledge thing, but a recognition thing. I am not “just their buddy”. I have a responsibility as a priest before God for them, and I take that seriously. I expect their relationship with me to be serious as well.
:blessyou:
 
." But there is something I hate even more: BVM as an abbreviation for the Blessed Virgin Mary!

Also: OLOP, abbreviation for Our Lady of Peace, & similar abbreviations. Ugh!"

There’s a difference there, the people almost never refer to Mary as “the BVM”. The BVM references are usually to a school, church, or other catholic facility named after Mary, not to Mary herself.

I don’t think , for example , anyone under any circumstance, ever said “Jesus, Joseph and the BVM went to Egypt”.
 
Just after their ordination, some of our new deacons expressed to me that they were uncomfortable being addressed as Deacon . I told them that, though they were certainly free to be addressed as they pleased, and some of their friends certainly may be unused to anything but calling them by their first name, they should not only accept that they will be called Deacon, but be encouraged by it.

We as deacons should be recognized as such not just because we have the title, but because of who we are and what we do in the community. We are ICONS of CHRIST. We are the community’s DEACON, and when we are addressed as such, we are a living reminder of the church’s service and a sacramental presence. So, I told them, don’t discourage, but encourage the recognition of your presence in the community.

I prefer to call someone as they prefer to be called. By default, I will call someone by their proper title, if I know it, and their last name, until they ask me to do otherwise. One of my former teachers, who is now also a peer, will be Mr. _ forever, because he deserves the respect. If he ever asks me to call him by his first name, I will consider it my honor to do so, but until then…

My wife sometimes gets after me for addressing our pastor by his first name in conversation with her or even with him, even though he has asked us to. And, in public, or in conversation with others who I do not explicitly know have been asked to call him by his given name, I will refer to him and call him by his title.

I would not dare to presume on privilege.
 
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Ourladyguadalup:
I’m with you on this one! I too think it is rude to say Fr. Bob, rather than Fr. Smith. But there is something I hate even more: BVM as an abbreviation for the Blessed Virgin Mary!

Also: OLOP, abbreviation for Our Lady of Peace, & similar abbreviations. Ugh!
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I hadn’t seen this before posting my previous message, but I had also never heard this in conversation. I can say that the abbreviation BVM is something that one will see in liturgical books, especially in the Ordo, i.e. Saturday, July 26 - BVM on Saturday.

I can’t imagine this being used in any conversation, presentation or other manner - I agree, it would just be rude.
 
I like to be called by my first name by my son’s friends.

This is because it still irks me that I have my married surname (I am now divorced, but kept the same name as my son to avoid confusion). So hearing it out loud makes me cringe. Not so much the actual name, but when it is added with the term “Mrs” it just makes me feel like I am still married to him 😛

I would like to think of myself as a friend to my son’s friends, expecially as they grow older and may need an ear to talk to.

I earn respect from them by how I treat them, talk to them, and respect them.

Somehow I don’t think it is right to expect respect just because you get called Mrs So-and-So.

I have had a Parish Priest called Father Surname, and I have had a Parish Priest called Father First-Name.

I respect both the same.

They are priests, men, friends, but above all, fellow humans.

Lets all teach our children to respect fellow humans no matter what we call them.

Lets not teach them to be fearful of the neighbour as she is known as Mrs Surname.

And on a lighter note, isn’t it so hard to revert to using the person’s First Name when you hit 20 or 30 and they say “Oh you are old enough to call me Mary”.

I still call some people Mr or Mrs as that is what I called them for so many years.
 
I don’t even KNOW our Father’s first name! Well, actually, I do, but I do not use it. Father is very formal and I respect the office he holds and the calling he has been called to. I admire that he did not turn his back on God’s call and I so love that he brings Christ to us in the Eucharist as well as in the confessional and all the sacraments. How could I be so presumptuous as to be ‘buddy-buddy’ with him?

We have a cousin who is a priest - we call him Father Vincent…it would be too weird, I reckon to call him Father Trujillo. I guess that family is different, even though I hold Father Vincent in the same esteem as I do our parish priest.

Now, we also have an aunt who is a Sister. I always address her as Sister DeChantal…but never by her last name. I don’t think nuns go by their last names. Why is that, I wonder? More nurturing? Hmmm…maybe another thread on that one! God Bless -
 
Following his ordination a priest I know was asked what he wanted to be called. He said, "You can call me by my first name: “Father.” 😉
 
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kellie:
I earn respect from them by how I treat them, talk to them, and respect them.

Somehow I don’t think it is right to expect respect just because you get called Mrs So-and-So.

Lets not teach them to be fearful of the neighbour as she is known as Mrs Surname.

And on a lighter note, isn’t it so hard to revert to using the person’s First Name when you hit 20 or 30 and they say “Oh you are old enough to call me Mary”.

I still call some people Mr or Mrs as that is what I called them for so many years.
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I agree whole heartedly. I don’t think I would ever expect respect, just because I am called Deacon. In fact, I am almost always humbled by it (almost always because from some, it is simply how they address me, though I suppose that it is a sign of respect).

I would also hope that no one would be fearful of someone that they call by their title. I would hope that no one commands the observance of that title either, though if someone is blatantly showing their disrespect by insisting on calling someone by their given name, I could see cause.
 
I would just note that in most of the Eastern Churches, it is common practice to speak of or to a priest using his title and his first name, using a surname is the exception rather than the rule. The same applies to our hierarchs, thus the new Eparch of Newton for the Melkites in the US (Archbishop Cyrille Bustros) will typically be spoken of as Archbishop Cyrille, not as Archishop Bustros.

Many years,

Neil
 
I think we show our respect when we address our priests as they choose to be addressed.

What is weird for me is calling my friend, Fr. Mike (he has a very difficult last name and prefers to just be called Fr. Mike–and let me tell you, there are no priests more traditional than he). I knew him long before he was ordained, so it just seems weird to call him “Fr.” – but I do.
 
Well, my username shows the way I prefer to be addressed. I’ve never paricularly liked the surname thing, and in my experience, it is not considered disrespectful to call priests Fr Firstname.

I can understand Deogratias’ point, but I don’t see that being called ‘Fr Matt’ is less respectful than ‘Fr Austin’ (which I often get also). Maybe it is a local or cultural thing. In our parish school, I’m addressed as Fr Matt, and the children know not to use my first name alone. Indeed, the most recent time that a student called me ‘Matt’, I opened my mouth to correct him, but the sudden noise from other students correcting him loudly beat me to the punch! For me, my title is a badge of service, not something that puts me on a pedestal.

God bless,
Fr Matt Austin
 
**When our present pastor came, about fifteen years or so ago, he let it be known that he preferred to be called by his first name only…No “Father” at all. **
I reall can’t bring myself to call him simply “Bill”, so Ialways preface his First Name with the title of Father…
**We ahve two other prierset in our parish,and both are called Father First Name. **
However…I tend to follow local custom, and ther aer some priests that you simply would NOT call Father First Name…Ever…Most, though seem OK with this practice.
 
Religious order priests are almost never addressed as Fr. Last Name, and many would be uncomfortable with this. However, it does not follow that Fr. Matthew wants to be Fr. Matt, Fr. Michael Fr. Mike, etc. I think as long as the “Father” is there, Fr. First Name is okay if the priest prefers that.
 
CD4 said:
**When our present pastor came, about fifteen years or so ago, he let it be known that he preferred to be called by his first name only…No “Father” at all. **
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I hate that when people have no respect for the office, and it’s even worse when the priest/deacon encourages it. Would these people ever dream of calling the Pope “Karol?” The President “George?”
 
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