Father First Name

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Detroit Sue:

I hate that when people have no respect for the office, and it’s even worse when the priest/deacon encourages it. Would these people ever dream of calling the Pope “Karol?” The President “George?”

I think this is an over simplification… Attempting to read a person intent on how they address a person…

As Neil said, it is tradition in the Eastern Church to address our priests and bishops by their first name. This in no way is a sign of disrespect.

 

[PASCENDI]

I prefer Fr. Surname unless, like the priest I know, he has a long Eastern European lastname w/o vowels. Then, Fr. Ivan is okay

 

[Mike_C]

Yes, we in the Eastern Churches address our Bishops by their first name because they used to come from the monastic state where they were addressed by their first name (Given at profession, like nuns). It used to be the custom in religious orders for men (and women) to take another name as a symbol of their change of life. I don’t think many orders do this anymore. So, at one time, Fr. Polycarp Smith was adressed as “Fr. Polycarp” to distinguish him from “Fr. Pampilius” Smith. Diocesean priests were addressed as " Smith" since there might be a number of priests named John Smith.

 

[Ham1]

I always heard that the standard was that diocesan priests were called Fr. Lastname and that religious order priests were called Fr. Firstname.

Our pastor told me that he prefers to be Fr. Lastname, but of course as soon as he came to our parish everyone began calling him Fr. Firstname. He just let’s it slide. He did tell me once that a parish priest has to pick his battles and apparently the firstname/lastname issue doesn’t rank highly in his mind. I have to agree.

 

[Lepanto]

I always call a priest Fr. Lastname, not necessarily out of respect for him, but out of respect for his office.

 

[Detroit_Sue]

ByzCath:

I think this is an over simplification… Attempting to read a person intent on how they address a person…

As Neil said, it is tradition in the Eastern Church to address our priests and bishops by their first name. This in no way is a sign of disrespect.

But you address them “Father Firstname,” not just “Firstname,” don’t you?

 

[Jessica]

In regards to the poster who asked if we would refer to Pope John Paul II as Karol: You were making a point that we would not refer to him by his first name. However, the fact of the matter is: we do refer to him by his first name! His name in Christ is John Paul II. Have you ever heard him referred to as Pope Wojtyla?

I think it should be based on what the priest prefers, but personally, I prefer to call them by their first names. This is not because I mean to be disrespectful or in anyway downplay their authority. On the contrary, I look at their supernatural, spiritual authority. I refer to my teachers and my friends’ parents by their last names (unless directed otherwise), but my priest is my father. With my father, I have a less formal relationship, although there is still a deep respect for him and his authority. The relationship that I have with my parish priests (and the rest of the parish has with them), is affectionate, rather than formal. When I come home on breaks, I feel such a fatherly affection for my priests that I run up and hug them, something I would never do to other authority figures, like teachers. It would probably scandalize you to know that I feel the same fatherly affection for Pope John Paul II, and I sometimes refer to him as “Papa John.” Please just know that I, as well as many others, refer to priests by their first names out of child-like affection for them, not out of disregard for their authority.
In Christ,
Jessica

 

[larryo]

CatholicNerd:

It depends on what the priest wishes to be called, I think. And I think that it varies from location to location. I remember growing up near San Francisco and then moving to Houston and I was surpsied that people would address each other as “Mrs. Dotty” or “Mr. Bob” It was the respectful way to address people there. Provided you call the priest Father regardless of the name that comes after it, I think it’s up to the priest…

I agree with your conclusion that it’s up to the priest as to how he would be addressed. Generally, I address anyone in authority by his surname unless requested to do otherwise. Of course, when I grew up in the 50s, I don’t remember anyone addressing a priest by his first name, unless he was a relative.

 

[condan]

Priests should be addressed by their last names in much the same way as teachers or doctors. I view the Fr. First Name trend as another liberalism intended to make the ordained and laity seem equivalent.

In my parish, the priests are all called by their first names. A newly ordained priest has recently been assigned here. He is very orthodox and wishes to be called Fr. Last Name. Can you believe that these so-called Christians dislike him for it and talk about him behind his back? (I know this because things have been said to my face…people aren’t aware that he is a friend of ours.) The parish secretary has taken to calling him “Kev”, not Fr. Kev, or Fr. Kevin but “Kev”. Over the top! Needless to say, it doesn’t make for an easy time for this newly ordained priest.

 

[system]

condan:

I view the Fr. First Name trend as another liberalism intended to make the ordained and laity seem equivalent.

Oh, for Pete’s sake. It’s no “trend” and I dare say, it’s far from a “liberalism”.

Our pastor 30 years ago had one of those long Polish names with lots of extra z’s in it, that no one could have pronounced right twice in a row. Everyone knew him as “Father Joe” and we thought nothing about it.

This is clearly one of those issues where people see the Boogey-man where he doesn’t exist. It’s basic personal preference, no more than that.

Now, if a priest (of any age) asks to be called by their last name and people ignore the request, that’s just a (probably unintentional) lack of common courtesy.

 

[DeniseTOCarm]

I encourage my children to call people to what they want to be called. I have friends who absolutely do not want to be called Mrs. Last Name. If they want that all they have to do is say so. I would encourage you to make you wishes known.

 

[condan]

Melman:

Oh, for Pete’s sake. It’s no “trend” and I dare say, it’s far from a “liberalism”.

Our pastor 30 years ago had one of those long Polish names with lots of extra z’s in it, that no one could have pronounced right twice in a row. Everyone knew him as “Father Joe” and we thought nothing about it.

Given the circumstances of his last name, no one would think anything about it. If I know a priest well enough, and he has asked me to call him by his first name, of course I will. It seems that your former paster did just that. (I also call my doctor by his last name and I expect the same. Ditto the school principal. Ditto police officers.)
Melman:

This is clearly one of those issues where people see the Boogey-man where he doesn’t exist. It’s basic personal preference, no more than that.

I am relating what I see first hand in my parish. I can assure you that it’s not the Boogey-man.
Melman:

Now, if a priest (of any age) asks to be called by their last name and people ignore the request, that’s just a (probably unintentional) lack of common courtesy.

So, the secretary addressing this priest, when she KNOWS FULL WELL that he wants to be addressed as Fr. Last Name, repeatedly calls him “Kev”, is an unintentional lack of common courtesy? 'Fraid not. In fact, she was called on the carpet about it.

Everyone’s experiences are different. Not everyone in Church is holy.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Detroit Sue:

But you address them “Father Firstname,” not just “Firstname,” don’t you?

Sue,
I get what you were saying now… Duh! :banghead:

I apologize, yes we always use Father, I would never address a priest by his firstname only…

 

[tom.wineman]

Never seemed very professional to me that a priest needs to be “good buddy” to every one unless of course I can’t pronounce his name.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Ourladyguadalup:

… I too think it is rude to say Fr. Bob, rather than Fr. Smith …

I think it rude to say Fr. Smith rather than Fr. Bob if Fr. Smith PREFERS to be addressed as Fr. Bob.

 

[Marie]

Fr. Frank:

For me, too many people mis-pronounce my last name, so it is easier to go by my first name.

I know some priests do the first-name-thing out of a sense of I’m-just-one-of-you, but for me, the reason is different.

In fact, I have been known to correct some people (thankfully, none in my new assignment) who drop the “Fr.”

It’s not a priviledge thing, but a recognition thing. I am not “just their buddy”. I have a responsibility as a priest before God for them, and I take that seriously. I expect their relationship with me to be serious as well.

I agree Father Frank,

The “Father” part is the most important part. Our priest has a difficult to pronounce last name. I bungled it so many times in the beginning it was embarrassing. Finally one day after he patiently had pronounced it correctly for me again for the hundredth time (slight exaggeration), I asked him if I could just use Father Joe. He said he would be delighted (probably he was relieved) He uses my first name too btw…He can’t pronounce my last name either. It’s a doozy to wrap your tongue around just as his is.

 

[ktm]

I have you all beat.

The pastor of a nearby parish has the first name of Charles. What does he call himself?

You guessed it: Father Chuck.

Imagine if he became bishop: “Yes, Bishop Chuck, no, Bishop Chuck.” Or even better: “The Holy Father, Pope John Paul Chuck, conversed with the President this morning.”

“Hey, did anyone see Cardinal Chuck?” “Yeah, he’s talking to Archbishop BillyBob inside St. Marge’s Chapel.”

(Disclaimer: Yes, I realize bishops and cardinals use their last names, and that popes take new names.)

 

[Maggie]

ktm:

I have you all beat.

The pastor of a nearby parish has the first name of Charles. What does he call himself?

You guessed it: Father Chuck.

Imagine if he became bishop: “Yes, Bishop Chuck, no, Bishop Chuck.”

Awww, you’re killin’ me here ktm… is nobody else hearing it…???

 

[chimakuni]

It has lovingly and humorously been brought to my attention, that my cousin’s name, Father Vincent Trujillo, is the same name as one of the the EWTN Household of Faith priests. Our cousin lives in Oregon…and I think is taller than Father Trujillo of the EWTN fame. God bless us - first name, middle name or last name…HE knows us all!

 

[ktm]

Maggie:

Awww, you’re killin’ me here ktm… is nobody else hearing it…???

The man himself: Father Chuck.

Let’s not forget Father Andy.

Now don’t get me wrong. They’re both good priests. Fr. “Andy” in particular knows the Bible better than any other priest I have ever known and most often gives an excellent homily.