Father is having an affair

[apromisemade]

The woman is 42 so the most the children could be is 22-23 years old. Based on recordings of my father’s conversations with this woman I don’t think the husband abusive at all.

I wouldn’t be so sure. I was 12 when my mother was 42. And these days people are having kids at a later age. All I’m saying is proceed with extreme caution. Yes it would be ideal if the other woman new, but its not just her, it would be an entire family that would get dragged into it, the dynamic of which you know very little about.

Once again, my, and everyone elses, preference would be for you to scap the idea entirely.

 

[stringbeanduck]

I wouldn’t be so sure. I was 12 when my mother was 42. And these days people are having kids at a later age. All I’m saying is proceed with extreme caution. Yes it would be ideal if the other woman new, but its not just her, it would be an entire family that would get dragged into it, the dynamic of which you know very little about.

Once again, my, and everyone elses, preference would be for you to scap the idea entirely.

I said the most they could be not the least.

 

[stringbeanduck]

Unfortunately honey, that someone isn’t you. At 15, you have other things to think about. Yes, what is happening affects the entire family, but your mom has to be a mom and keep you out of things as much as possible.
You say you have always talked to her and been a shoulder for her to lean on. That isn’t right. Your mom has put you in a terrible position. She’s the adult. You need to be 15 and a young person, not BFF with your mom. She deserves your respect, but not necessarily your shoulder. Go talk to a priest. And as tough as it is, you must not let your parents put you in the middle.

Kathy

Actually it’s 16. Very big difference might I add. Do notice the wink indicting sarcasm.

I did in no way, want to be part of this nor did my mother. I was put in the situation, by the way things went. My mother isn’t close with the church. Matter of fact, she is down right frighten to talk to a priest; however I think I’ve been making head way on that issue. When she falls to the floor, I’ll be da… not to pick her up and take care of her. I understand it isn’t proper to have a minor to deal with this, by I pray and work with what was given to me. There is absolutely no way she could deal with this alone. She needed her son and daughter close by here side.

You’re right about seeing a Priest. I’ve haven’t updated mine yet lately. I have a prolife project to work on tomorrow at church. Since I’m driving up there for something I mind as well talk to him. Though, they aren’t always there. We have a rectory, but they don’t live in it. They also head back to their homes too early.

 

[dulcissima]

I’m 42 and I have a 17, 15, 8, and 6 year old. It would be impossible for you to be able to correctly guess the ages of her children.

Also, what’s up with having a recording of your father and her having a conversation?

 

[dulcissima]

Actually it’s 16. Very big difference might I add. Do notice the wink indicting sarcasm.

I did in no way, want to be part of this nor did my mother. I was put in the situation, by the way things went. My mother isn’t close with the church. Matter of fact, she is down right frighten to talk to a priest; however I think I’ve been making head way on that issue. When she falls to the floor, I’ll be da… not to pick her up and take care of her. I understand it isn’t proper to have a minor to deal with this, by I pray and work with what was given to me. There is absolutely no way she could deal with this alone. She needed her son and daughter close by here side.

You’re right about seeing a Priest. I’ve haven’t updated mine yet lately. I have a prolife project to work on tomorrow at church. Since I’m driving up there for something I mind as well talk to him. Though, they aren’t always there. We have a rectory, but they live in it and head home to early I think.

YOU are the one I have been recommending talking to a priest about this. Call and make an appointment so that they will have time to talk this through with you.

 

[stringbeanduck]

I’m 42 and I have a 17, 15, 8, and 6 year old. It would be impossible for you to be able to correctly guess the ages of her children.

Also, what’s up with having a recording of your father and her having a conversation?

I didn’t try to guess their ages. I said being 42 years the most her children could be is 22-23 years old. Which, is why I need to consider their ages. I do not want a young kids hearing this, however it is wrong to keep this from the husband. Does that the clear up all the confusion.

We had to(as advised by the lawyer) to bug the car in order gather evidence, had this go to court.

 

[rayne89]

I really don’t know if this will make a difference because you don’t seem to heed any advice about how you need to step out of this situation with your parents. Please do not confront the husband with this information. Let the married adults handle this.

I know what its like to have a parent lean on you inappropriately. This pattern in your own family seems so ingrained I’m not sure if a difference can be made, because you have accepted this role and see it as your duty. You.Can.Not.Fix.This. It’s not your job, your responsibility or your role in any way, shape or form. Your mother is a grown up woman who needs to be responsible for her marriage.

Every time I read “we” in your sentences I cringe. You are not in this marriage, you are not married to your father your mother is. You are parenting your mom and losing your dad, so who is being a parent to you? Please speak to your priest, a school counselor, someone who can help you with this.

 

[DavidChrist]

I recently discovered my father has been having an affair; at least we’re very certain he is. This comes as a bit of a shock to me since he was a Sunday school teacher and attended church regularly. Not to mention he took the Eucharist while with this was going on. So far we haven’t fully confronted him about, but I think we will soon. He says, he is out of love with my mother and needs to be alone. He works several hundred miles from home in another state; so it’s real easy for him to be with this other woman. It’s really tearing up my mother and I always have to comfort her. It angers me so much how he could do such a thing to the family. I also want to find this rag he’s with and have a strong word with her. The rest of the family is in agreement that he must choose between this tramp and the whole family not to mention I will make his life and that women’s life hell so help me God. I am generally a calm person, but when someone breaks a church teaching and commandment I really get fired up and my blood boils. I’m so bothered by this guys. Will you pray us?

You don’t love your father. You love a church teaching.

See the difference.

A teaching is a generality. Your father is a unique person is an unique circumstance. If you LOVE your father then tell him how you feel-- DON’T tell him what to do.

When you get older and get into relationships you can possibly know what is going on in his head and heart. Right now, the world your father is in is not in your capacity to understand.

I am a man. I know what he’s going through. He can love you and your family and still fulfill his desires as a MAN. He is not a woman-- don’t expect him to be.