Father's Day didn't go well

  • Thread starter Thread starter fin
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

fin

Guest
I thought it did. It started out well until evening. Our baby nephew was there and we were all laughing and having a wonderful time. After dinner I was in front of the pc typing and it was raining hard. The door was closed and I could hear loud voices. Dad and my sister arguing. I continued doing what I was doing and ignored what was happening. Later on the shouting became really loud that I came out. I went to the other room and they were screaming, my mom and brother was also there. My sister was pushed outside the door because she just wouldn’t stop screaming and crying.

Last night was so awful. Later after it was over my mom said that bro shouldn’t have interfered. At that time my dad was already crying and was so mad. Dad was telling mom how he’s been really patient with her, giving her way and she’s still mad at him. Talk about having a happy Father’s Day. 😦

We’re all getting tired of that sister. Last year a day after our cousin’s wedding she also started a fight with Dad. I’m sick of her outbursts and her complaining. I already had novena Masses offered for the healing of our family tree, a triduum for the same intention, enrolled us in Masses. I pray everyday and go to daily Mass. I have been praying that this year 2012 would definitely be better than last year. Now the first half of the year is almost over and I feel… I don’t know what to feel. I want to continue hoping that this year would still turn out better than all the years I have lived so far.

I want to forget about last night and whatever awful fights I’ve witnessed. I don’t know what else I can do, aside from praying and hoping things will get better. I just had to let it all out. I am begging for your prayers. I know my prayers are never wasted, but I don’t know what else to do. Here I am hoping and seeing that things are getting better. Then something unpleasant happens or it gets worse.

We need a lot of prayers.
 
I’m so sorry. Siblings can be a joy, and a pain! 😉
Prayers are with you. I’m so sorry for your Dad. That must be breaking his heart…
 
Sorry to hear that, Fin.😦 How old is your sister? Do you have a decent relationship with her?

Praying is good, but have you also tried speaking directly with your sister, one-on-one, over the reasons there is so much disagreement in the family?
 
In the middle of it, why don’t you stop them by calling out their names and saying “Let’s pray the Our Father and one Hail Mary, please.” ? 🙂

[BIBLEDRB]Genesis 3:15[/BIBLEDRB]

You can’t see it, but I don’t doubt that between all the fight there is Satan so happily laughing. Stop it by praying OUT LOUD. 😉 Don’t give the evil one the pleasure. Stand like a son of God and invoke the Queen of Heaven, St. Michael and his army of angels, OUT LOUD. 🙂
 
As unpleasant as this all is… Not knowing what the fight was about, I don’t know how to respond. I am assuming you still live at home which is why you went to another room to use the computer and your sister is older and no longer lives there.

In my family, my brother can yell at me as much as he wants and if I leave the room I am seen as the bad person for making everyone uncomfortable. If we were at an extending family dinner and started talking politics, if I expressed my opionion after 5 words my father would tell me to shut up. And this was happening when I was well over 35. My parents have purposely not allowed me to attend family functions because my behaviour is such a humiliation :rolleyes:

So, I am somewhat on your sisters side. Is she reacting to unfair treatment?

CM
 
Holidays and special occasions sometimes bring out the worst in ppl. I will pray for you.
 
fin said:
We’re all getting tired of that sister.
Click to expand...
Praying that the Sacred Heart of Jesus will show His love especially to this sister
and bless her abundantly. May God bring people into her life who will show her true kindness, compassion, and patience, the respect she deserves, and be there to listen to her.

Amen
 
the_phoenix said:
Praying that the Sacred Heart of Jesus will show His love especially to this sister
and bless her abundantly. May God bring people into her life who will show her true kindness, compassion, and patience, the respect she deserves, and be there to listen to her.

Amen
Click to expand...
Amen.
We can act as she does when in our own minds and hearts we don’t feel valued and unconditionally loved, and perhaps have never really known how to communicate calmly and wisely how lonely and hurt we really feel. Others in the family may not realize this.

Loving God please fill and surround each family member with Your healing and love.
Please grant Fin’s prayers for each member of the family, for unity, love and peace to prevail in all their relationships.

Lord please console the Dad, and the little nephew…
 
Thank you for all the reassurances and the prayers. My sister is older than me and she lives with us.

Last night they were telling her to stop screaming and yelling but she won’t. My parents are already senior citizens and I don’t want them to be stressed out with this; they have other problems including legal stuff; troublesome people bothering us.

I am tired of her acting like she’s the only one doing good. She keeps on saying she did this, she did that. It’s all about her. She doesn’t even think about how other people are feeling. My mom told her last night that the way she talked was really bad and what she said was very hurtful.

The previous fights were initiated by her. She’s the one having outbursts and not us. I just want a peaceful family life.

I have offered prayers and Masses for our family and our healing. This fight is no small matter. Why don’t things seem to get better.??

I just don’t know; how can we be healed? Asking for advice as to how should I pray for my family.
 
Fin, would you mind giving more specific information? (You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable) Maybe we could think of ways to address specific things she’s said. For example, you said that she claims to have done things for your parents. What is the argument exactly - that they are *denying *she does anything for them, or is she telling them she is *resentful *that she is helping them, etc?

Will offer a prayer for your family members to respect of one another in the mean time. :gopray2::console:
 
fin said:
Thank you for all the reassurances and the prayers. My sister is older than me and she lives with us.

Last night they were telling her to stop screaming and yelling but she won’t. My parents are already senior citizens and I don’t want them to be stressed out with this; they have other problems including legal stuff; troublesome people bothering us.

I am tired of her acting like she’s the only one doing good. She keeps on saying she did this, she did that. It’s all about her. She doesn’t even think about how other people are feeling. My mom told her last night that the way she talked was really bad and what she said was very hurtful.

The previous fights were initiated by her. She’s the one having outbursts and not us. I just want a peaceful family life.

I have offered prayers and Masses for our family and our healing. This fight is no small matter. ** Why don’t things seem to get better.??**

I just don’t know; how can we be healed? Asking for advice as to how should I pray for my family.
Click to expand...
I have a feeling this is the cross that God gave you.

I’ll be including you and your family in my prayer intentions under the category of “especially these people” (I usually pray for the conversion of all sinners, which means everyone, but now you and your family get a special place in my prayers).🙂
 
You don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior and neither do your parents. If your sister is abusive they need to set some boundaries on her actions. Such as, “You may not continue to scream at us in our house. If you continue, you will have to leave.” It is not that unusual for an adult child to start acting out when parents get elderly. Sometimes the one who has the most problems will start to take advantage of them. It is then when other siblings must step in to help the parents draw the line. It can be done charitably but I believe that it must be done. Can one of your older siblings or an uncle step in and call a family meeting? Tell that sister in particular that her behavior must improve, or there will be consequences. Come up with the consequences with your parents and make sure they will stick with them, not just idle threats.
 
Check out the book “Mental Health Through Will Training” by Dr. Abraham Low as well as Recovery Principles. Dr Low’s work (although he was not a Catholic) has very Catholic principles to it and it has helped a lot of individuals, families, and marriages.
 
I will pray for you.

However, thanks for posting this.

We never had children, and sometimes on weekends like Father’s day, it makes us sad.

Without seeing the whole picture, it is easy to imagine that everyone is living in a “television fantasy family”.

In reality we all have our crosses to bear.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
You don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior and neither do your parents. If your sister is abusive they need to set some boundaries on her actions.
Click to expand...
100% agreed.

I have a similar situation with my Mother. She has ungodly outbursts that are so bad that she’s lost friends, my brother moved across the country, and I haven’t spoken with her in a month. My brother and I also see Psychologists because she’s damaged the both of us that much. She’s a bully and will pick fights with us and criticize us about every little aspect of our lives from our relationships and our appearances to what we should and shouldn’t be eating.

My life has been a little bit better since I stopped talking to her, but it unfortunately puts my Dad in a bad spot.

For now, set the boundaries.
 
jazzy0710 said:
100% agreed.

I have a similar situation with my Mother. She has ungodly outbursts that are so bad that she’s lost friends, my brother moved across the country, and I haven’t spoken with her in a month. My brother and I also see Psychologists because she’s damaged the both of us that much. She’s a bully and will pick fights with us and criticize us about every little aspect of our lives from our relationships and our appearances to what we should and shouldn’t be eating.

My life has been a little bit better since I stopped talking to her, but it unfortunately puts my Dad in a bad spot.

For now, set the boundaries.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry you went through that as a child. It’s so sad. I pray for your recovery.

I was also abused and I know how much it hurts as an adult and it takes years to overcome.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top