Father's right to know

[Lorelei12]

I’m actually surprised by all the responses indicating that this guy has no right to know he has a baby. Just because he said he never wanted kids doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be a good dad if he knew he had one. I think it’s wrong to keep it from him- he deserves to know. Not that the OP should say anything, but the mother of this little boy should not have kept it from him. The baby is just as much his.

Eventually, this kid is going to wonder why he doesn’t have a father. Imagine having to explain to your child that you never even told his father about him? That you never gave him the opportunity to get to know him? How sad.

Not that this has much to do with anything, but anytime I hear about someone not knowing they were pregnant until the give birth, I have trouble believing it. You really didn’t know you were pregnant?

 

[LittleRose]

… anytime I hear about someone not knowing they were pregnant until the give birth, I have trouble believing it. You really didn’t know you were pregnant?

This is actually very possible.

Some women have cycles that are so irregular, they can go for months without having a period. This makes it difficult to notice if you are pregnant.

Someone I know had this issue. She had tried to get pregnant with her husband for 10 years before they gave up, and assumed it would never happen. Then at one point she found herself gaining weight, and later felt movement in her abdomen, which she thought was a digestive issue. Pregnancy never occurred to her, since at that point they believed it to be impossible, and going for months with no period was normal for her. She went to the doctor for the weight gain and "digestive symptoms"and found out she was already 6 months along! And this wasn’t any naive teenager. She was a mature married woman in her mid-30’s at the time.

 

[Phemie]

This is actually very possible.

Some women have cycles that are so irregular, they can go for months without having a period. This makes it difficult to notice if you are pregnant.

Someone I know had this issue. She had tried to get pregnant with her husband for 10 years before they gave up, and assumed it would never happen. Then at one point she found herself gaining weight, and later felt movement in her abdomen, which she thought was a digestive issue. Pregnancy never occurred to her, since at that point they believed it to be impossible, and going for months with no period was normal for her. She went to the doctor for the weight gain and "digestive symptoms"and found out she was already 6 months along! And this wasn’t any naive teenager. She was a mature married woman in her mid-30’s at the time.

Yes, I’ve even met a labour and delivery nurse who was 6 months along before she figured it out. She has had periods throughout.

I have a younger friend who had been told she’d likely never get pregnant because of a pituitary tumour. She was also six months along before it even crossed her mind that she might be pregnant. Her second pregnancy seemed to last forevvvvvvvvver.

 

[marymary1975]

If the father has any “legal right to know” of course no. There is no law that forces any woman to tell the biological father that she is pregnant, besides the fact that it would be extremely burdensome there would be no way to enforce a law like that so right to know no. Now if your question is if the father ever finds out that the kid is his child, does he have a right to go to the court and ask for visitation rights and establish his paternity, definitely yes as long as the child is 18. However don’t forget that would mean that he also would have to pay child support (and there are states in which he would have to pay her from the date the kid was born) so that is enough to scare most men.

Now I personally think that it is wrong for her not to tell thee father because yes, you never know what will happen in the future. That child is going to grow and is very likely that the child is going to want to know who is the father and what happens if the kid goes and looks for the guy and finds him? There are many bad situations that can come out in this scenario so I think she should have said anything but again legally she is not obligated to say anything.