Favour? Emotionally drained

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PennitentMan

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Hi there.

Can I ask you all do do me a huge favour and pray for me please?

I just need some strength.

Mostly I’m tried mentally and spiritually and emotionally.

I’m finding no time to recharge myself.

Here’s some info:

[eddited] TMI

I love my family dearly, and I love spending time with them and doing things for them, but I’m just so exhausted from all this. Mostly emotionally. I feel like I need to be there for everyone around me, but I also need to lean on someone. I need to be pepped up too. I’m not getting anything like that right now, it’s just draining emotionally.

How do you lead this kind of life of 24-7 servitude and not get burnt out?

I don’t even know what to change, but I do feel like I’m running on empty.

Please can you say a quick prayer for me?

Thanks all!

PM
 
First of all, I want to say you are such a sweetheart to actually do all this for your family!!! 👍

Second, I try to realx while I’m in the car driving for work. I have a hectic life just as you do, except for the son and I’m not pregnant. CAF has been my method of letting it all out. It really helps to write and get it all out.

Another thing I do, is try to get to Mass early and pray, pray, pray. I ask God to give me strength and patience. I haven’t had time to relax in so long. Sometimes when I get a migraine is the only time I get to rest. I cannot work like that so I stay home and sleep it off, which takes more than half the day.

I feel for you. My prayers are with you.

You’re sucha great husband and father!!! 👍
 
PennitentMan said:
Hi there.

Can I ask you all do do me a huge favour and pray for me please?

I just need some strength.

Mostly I’m tried mentally and spiritually and emotionally.

I’m finding no time to recharge myself.

Here’s some info:

[eddited] TMI

I love my family dearly, and I love spending time with them and doing things for them, but I’m just so exhausted from all this. Mostly emotionally. I feel like I need to be there for everyone around me, but I also need to lean on someone. I need to be pepped up too. I’m not getting anything like that right now, it’s just draining emotionally.

How do you lead this kind of life of 24-7 servitude and not get burnt out?

I don’t even know what to change, but I do feel like I’m running on empty.

Please can you say a quick prayer for me?

Thanks all!

PM
Click to expand...
PM–Nice to see you. I am so sorry for things the way they are right now. It might not be much, but here is what I have to offer…in times like this, read the story of Job. And, also…Jesus suffered. He had bright moments, indeed…but lived a life of hardship and turmoil…in trying to get the Gospel message out. He died a miserable and painful death…and when I think about the trials we have to bear in the life, I compare myself to Him…and say…I will never have to be crucified. God is watching over you, PM…He sees your hardship, He sees your struggles, and His grace is sufficient for you. Just meditate on that, if you can…I know life can be hard, but this too shall pass.

My prayers are with you.
 
I will pray for you. This will end and then you will be given a break. You have been called to do a beautiful job and you are doing it well. Don’t get discrouraged. I cared for my mother for 20 years and it is tiring but it is rewarding, even when we don’t see it at the time. I don’t know if this will help you but I will offer these things for the holy souls or other intentions and it gives me a new motivation. I also think of Our Lord and His Mothers sufferings and know that I can do it if I just rely on them to get me through it.

God Bless you for your service to Our Lord

Ask the Nanny to do some of the things you are doing in the evening, like make ahead some sanwiches for your wife and dinner for you and the baby maybe some of the laundry so you are able to spend some time with your wife and baby.
 
Praying for you.Even our Lord had to have time to be alone with the Father.Its recorded several times He went alone to pray.We all need this time.May the Lord Bless You.
 
Hi 🙂
I just wanted to tell you that I am praying for you.

I know how you feel…my husband is deployed to Iraq for a year and we have 6 sons (ages from 11 to 3 mo.)

I was feeling pretty down, tired and emotionally drained since my husband left in May but the other night I was trying to get all the little people to bed. I yelled at the boys for something they were doing. Anyway, I had been praying for a very long time for help and guidance from above for my lack of patience and then I blew it again.

I looked up to heaven and said rather angrily, ‘What am I supposed to do…I can’t go on like this…the boys need a mom who is better than this or at least not so angry and tired all the time. Help me!’ I looked down and on the floor of the boys’ bedroom was a colored picture my 7 year old brought home of Mary holding up a rosary with little children behind her (each with rosaries in their hands.) I took it as a sign that I needed to make the time to pray the rosary with the boys each night (which is NOT an easy task.) We have been saying it each night for a week and I don’t know but I am feeling better and like I can go on now (and though they don’t always act as though they are happy to pray it, when we finish there is always a sense of peace that we each feel…I can see it on the older ones’ faces.)

I think God allows me to feel like this at times so I stay close to him so I make it through this ‘valley of tears’ with my faith and love intact.

God bless you…I will be praying for you and your family and for the strength you need to come soon. Keep throwing yourself on God and He will answer…He loves you.

JessicaL
 
:gopray:** Prayers for you. May God show you His will and give you the strength to follow it.

Malia**
 
Hey, especially for Jessica (thank you for YOUR service to the country, and I know you are offering your trials for your DH’s safety.)

And PM… I know it’s hard. Hang in there. Get some sleep. Sometimes things just look worse when you are physically exhausted.

I just got home from a school production, as usual going alone and having no one to share the experience of watching my children grow up too quickly.

Came in to the empty house and the dog needed water. I found myself lecturing the dog on why I have to do everything and no one ever does anything for me. The dog wasn’t really into the lecture, I could tell. So I just put her out and gave her the water.

We all go through times like this. Like the author said, “times that try men’s souls…” If you want to send that nanny over to my house… I haven’t had the luxury of any help whatsoever… it’s amazing what you can get used to if you completely abandon all notions of how things are “supposed to be.”

This too shall pass. The question is, when it does will you be able to look back on how you acted with pride? Hang in there so the answer is yes.

Is there a men’s support group at your parish you could join? Maybe it’s time for a retreat for men?

Don’t give up. Too much is at stake. I’ll say a prayer to St. Joseph for you.
 
I haven’t read your story but I surmise from the other posters that you are a caregiver. Caregivers are at an increased risk of depression and suicide because they feel like everything is on them and they don’t take the time to care for themselves.

When you hear the pre-recorded segment on an airplane about what to do in an emergency, they always say if you are traveling with children to put your own oxygen mask on first and only then to help the children put theirs’ on. Caregivers are no good if they give it all in one big spurt and it kills them. You need to be in it for the long haul so you have to make time to energize yourself.

If the baby is healthy, you could put it in a stroller and go out for an evening walk, jog, or run. It would give mom a break, you and baby time together, and get you some exercise and adrenaline. You could also go to the pool, though it is getting too cold for that. Our neighborhood pool is full of dads with kids in the warm evenings. If your wife is the one you are caring for, also try to have a “date night” with her if possible. Watching a movie, taking a rose-petalled bath together, giving her a candlelit massage, reading books you like aloud, dancing if she is able, watching the stars, discussing the news, or any other activity which re-focuses your relationship to husband and wife instead of caregiver and charge will help re-energize you.

Don’t fall prey to instant gratification like pornography, mindlessly watching the tv or surfing the internet, gambling, drugs or alcohol. You’ll feel good for the moment but you’ll feel worse quickly because they will only drain you more.

Make time to grow physically and intellectually. For 15 minutes after you put the baby in bed, you can practice lectio divina. If you can’t do it at home, do it over your lunch break. Eat healthy food and drink lots of water, especially if your sleep is being disturbed.

Also, make sure you are praying your morning and evening prayers. If your wife is able to join you, say them together. It is just as important to refresh the soul as it is the body. You might think you don’t have time to add in prayers and reading and running every day. You have to make time for yourself otherwise you’ll just wear down and be no use to anyone.

Make a schedule. If you get up at 6 AM now and immediately go to care for another, get up at 5:55 and say your morning prayers, then go do the caregiving at 6:10 instead. If you are skipping breakfast because you are taking time to make it for someone else, make sure to make enough for two. If you don’t have enough time in the morning, go to bed 30 minutes earlier so you can calmly finish all the morning tasks without feeling rushed and neglecting yourself.

You can also hire local teens to help if you can afford it. I have a neighbor who works evenings so she makes up a menu and buys groceries, then pays the neighbor girl to make dinner 5 nights a week. There are ways to care for yourself when you are caring for others, but all of them require you making the time to do it.
 
:gopray:

I have found that praying the Angelus morning, noon and night helps break up a long and difficult day. I can focus on each segment of the day and if the morning has been overwhelming, I can pray, then put it behind me and focus on the afternoon. Then if the afternoon was exhausting I can pray again and look ahead to a calmer evening. Hope that helps in some small way. :o
 
:crossrc: Prayers for you and your family. St. Joseph, patron of husbands and fathers, pray for us!:crossrc:
 
Do you think you can find a way to set aside a little while in the morning, maybe 5-10 min, to just talk with God about what is going on in your life, your struggles, your joys, your worries. Ask Him to help you out.
I read once how Mother Theresa said she always had to have her prayer in the morning in order to be able to start her day (and although I am not familiar with your situation, it sounds like you too are leading a life of service to others). There are several saints that have spoken about this, how prayer helps fuel them to persevere.

Here are a few quotes from St Josemaria’s works:

'When you start out each day to work by Christ’s side and to look after all those souls who seek him, remember that there is only one way of doing it: we must turn to the Lord.

Only in prayer, and through prayer, do we learn to serve others."

"The system, the method, the procedure, the only way to have a life abundant and fertile in supernatural fruits, is to follow the Holy Spirit’s advice, which comes to us via the Acts of the Apostles: omnes erant perseverantes unanimiter in oratione — all these with one accord devoted themselves to prayer.

Nothing can be done without prayer!"

"Conscious of our duties, can we let a whole day go past without remembering we have a soul?

In our daily meditation, we have always to put things right lest we depart from the way."

“Here is an effective custom for achieving presence of God: your first appointment every day should be with Jesus Christ.”

“A Catholic, without prayer? It is the same as a soldier without arms.”
 
PM, I can so relate to the need to recharge yourself in order to keep caring for others. I’m in a similar situation, only at the other end of life’s spectrum as I look after my elderly parents. One thing that helps me to bear the burdens of caregiving is this passage from the Prayer of St. Francis:

O Divine Master grant that I may
Not so much seek to be consoled
As to console;
To be understood,
As to understand;
To be loved as to love.

And also the Memorare. Our Blessed Mother loves us and will help us get through the day, if we only ask for her help.

St. Joseph, pray for PM and for all of us!

Praying for you. :byzsoc:
 
Good day guys.

Thank you so much for all your prayers, I so appreciate it and thank God for all you guys!

I dunno what else to say, but thank you, you have my deepest gratitude.

PM.
 
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