Fear I know is irrational, but still

[Crown_of_Stars]

I should know better. All I’ve been taught, as a strong Catholic, and yet I have this fear…
I’m honestly afraid that I will be aware, in a sense, in my grave. I’m not close to death, as far as age, but I know that as I grow older and become elderly, I will be pretty much terrified at the thought that seems so far just now…
I’m afraid, not of being buried alive, but of my soul or some form of consciousness being trapped inside of me, and that I will be lying in a cold, dark grave, aware as I decompose, and it doesn’t help that I’m so claustrophobic. Cremation almost seems the better way to go, but I’m afraid I will somehow “feel” that too. Given the choice, I suppose I’d rather feel being burnt to ashes and bone within a few hours, then it’s over, rather than lie trapped under the earth until Judgement Day.
I know I’ve been taught that the soul leaves the body, or rather, I believe God takes our soul from us Himself. I don’t believe it’s up to our own power.
So why do I still have the fear? And is anyone else like this?

 

[tweedlealice]

Sallutations,
God is not the author of fear but of a sound mind. I am being creamated. As an ICU/CCU nurse for 48 years I had to deal w death. I was a good nurse-not my fault. I learned that song in girl scouts ,“The worms crawl in , the worms crawl out,etc.” Creamation for me. We will be dead. Triple checked. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. It is cheaper. One can get a real pretty urn and your spouse can keep in house till he/she is ready to put you in the columbarium at the church… Your soul is gone w your last breath.I see green fields and a choir spot for me. Joy,Joy Joy. If I have to stay in purgatory for a short (I hope) trip. So, be it. Let not fear overcome you that is the enemy. Say St. Michael’s prayer.
in Christs love
tweedlealice

 

[Trident_H]

Well I don’t think God has that weird a sense of humor. And I don’t think He’s really all that forgetful. So I mean it would be pretty odd for Him to do that to you. I think you should ease up on that worry. It’s pretty far outside the likely probabilities. Pretty far. Hope that helps.

Peace Crown Of Stars.

-Trident

 

[Lily_Bernans]

I should know better. All I’ve been taught, as a strong Catholic, and yet I have this fear…
I’m honestly afraid that I will be aware, in a sense, in my grave. I’m not close to death, as far as age, but I know that as I grow older and become elderly, I will be pretty much terrified at the thought that seems so far just now…
I’m afraid, not of being buried alive, but of my soul or some form of consciousness being trapped inside of me, and that I will be lying in a cold, dark grave, aware as I decompose, and it doesn’t help that I’m so claustrophobic. Cremation almost seems the better way to go, but I’m afraid I will somehow “feel” that too. Given the choice, I suppose I’d rather feel being burnt to ashes and bone within a few hours, then it’s over, rather than lie trapped under the earth until Judgement Day.
I know I’ve been taught that the soul leaves the body, or rather, I believe God takes our soul from us Himself. I don’t believe it’s up to our own power.
So why do I still have the fear? And is anyone else like this?

Off and on in life, I’ve had that fear, too. I don’t think it’s abnormal unless it takes over one’s life, and it doesn’t seem to be doing that to you. I’ve gone back and forth over cremation or burial, though I’m not near death in years, either. I’ve sort of settled on burial now since my best friend, a Catholic priest, is buried in a cemetery near here, and I can be buried near him.

I think maybe the Evil One tries to tempt us into fear. I’ve found the best thing to do is just trust in Christ. Just pray to him during those times of worry.

I think you are very courageous to admit you have this fear on a DB. Not there is anything wrong with it. We all have irrational fears from time to time.

God bless.

 

[Domiy]

Your concern is definitely more of a medical fear rather than a religious one. And let me just say, I sometimes worry about the same type of things.

Having medical procedures always frightens me, mainly because I’ve had a few negative experiences in the past (bad reactions from medication, feeling of total consumption and paralysis after being given morphine). A lot of this has come from incompetence/negligence from the doctors/nurses that have dealt with me.

I too have always thought about what exactly happens after death. Some suggest you are still conscious or able to see from your eyes for a few minutes. We’ll never really know (medically) for sure. All we know is that (religiously) God has a place for our soul to enjoy if we are faithful to Him.

Your fear is definitely an irrational one. You think that cremation will relieve you of consciousness or feeling, yet you still think that death or burial will somehow keep you conscious or aware in agony. I think this is just your imagination and cluastrophobia having a bad date. As with any fears regarding death, it’s best to ignore them and focus on other things.

God Bless

 

[GEddie]

To paraphrase the lead actor in **Young Frankenstein, **there is no more capacity for consciousness in the dead human body than in a bunch of broccoli.

Consciousness is a function, like breathing, of our brain stem. Once you aren’t breathing, you won’t be conscious, either (until you’re breathing in the next life).

I relate to your fear though, as I have experienced something very similar.

Take courage that you are not currently facing death, and when you do face it, our LORD will ease your fears.

ICXC NIKA

 

[thistle]

Sallutations,
God is not the author of fear but of a sound mind. I am being creamated. As an ICU/CCU nurse for 48 years I had to deal w death. I was a good nurse-not my fault. I learned that song in girl scouts ,“The worms crawl in , the worms crawl out,etc.” Creamation for me. We will be dead. Triple checked. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. It is cheaper. One can get a real pretty urn and your spouse can keep in house till he/she is ready to put you in the columbarium at the church… Your soul is gone w your last breath.I see green fields and a choir spot for me. Joy,Joy Joy. If I have to stay in purgatory for a short (I hope) trip. So, be it. Let not fear overcome you that is the enemy. Say St. Michael’s prayer.
in Christs love
tweedlealice

Not sure if you are joking or not but it is forbidden for ashes to be kept in an urn at home.

 

[St_Francis]

I tend to treat these scarey thoughts as temptations and pray for help in getting rid of them.

But you also might only need a plan. With your head, you know that will not happen, right? But another part of you is concerned. So maybe telling that part of yourself that if it happens it will be great because you’ll be able to pray the Rosary a lot will help you not have this fear.

 

[AttendeDomine]

I’m afraid, not of being buried alive, but of my soul or some form of consciousness being trapped inside of me, and that I will be lying in a cold, dark grave, aware as I decompose, and it doesn’t help that I’m so claustrophobic. Cremation almost seems the better way to go, but I’m afraid I will somehow “feel” that too. Given the choice, I suppose I’d rather feel being burnt to ashes and bone within a few hours, then it’s over, rather than lie trapped under the earth until Judgement Day.

Since you yourself admit this is irrational, I wouldn’t recommend thinking about cremation. Wanting to be cremated out of fear is to give in to thoughts which you concede are a fantasy. The more you do that, I would think the more concrete the fantasy would become.

You seem to be afraid of existing in a certain kind of coma, and seem to think, on an emotional level, that this state is what death *really *is. Do you have any reason for wanting to see death in that sort of light? Have you ever dealt with someone’s death by thinking of them as existing in that sort of state? Is there something about this idea of death-as-coma that you, on some level, find appealing?

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Do you have any reason for wanting to see death in that sort of light? Have you ever dealt with someone’s death by thinking of them as existing in that sort of state? Is there something about this idea of death-as-coma that you, on some level, find appealing?

I definitely don’t want to see death in that light. And I wouldn’t call such a thing light but rather darkness.

I have never dealt with someone else’s death, thinking of them as existing in that sort of state. I more have feared it just for myself, personally.

And no, definitely not “appealing” at all. Horrifying is more the word. How could anyone find such a frightful thing appealing?

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Not sure if you are joking or not but it is forbidden for ashes to be kept in an urn at home.

Also, having your ashes scattered anywhere is forbidden, whether on land or at sea. I believe cremation has now been accepted by the Catholic Church, as long as the ashes are interred properly in a vault. I’ve never heard of them being interred in the ground, in a miniature casket, but I don’t see why they couldn’t be. It’s still respectful and traditional.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts on this. I had no idea so many others have had the same fear, and it comforts me, at least. I’m not the only one, which eases the particular fear I’ve had of this such thing that, not only could being trapped in the grave be a horrid reality, but that it would only happen to me and no one else in the world.

 

[mikekle]

I should know better. All I’ve been taught, as a strong Catholic, and yet I have this fear…
I’m honestly afraid that I will be aware, in a sense, in my grave. I’m not close to death, as far as age, but I know that as I grow older and become elderly, I will be pretty much terrified at the thought that seems so far just now…
I’m afraid, not of being buried alive, but of my soul or some form of consciousness being trapped inside of me, and that I will be lying in a cold, dark grave, aware as I decompose, and it doesn’t help that I’m so claustrophobic. Cremation almost seems the better way to go, but I’m afraid I will somehow “feel” that too. Given the choice, I suppose I’d rather feel being burnt to ashes and bone within a few hours, then it’s over, rather than lie trapped under the earth until Judgement Day.
I know I’ve been taught that the soul leaves the body, or rather, I believe God takes our soul from us Himself. I don’t believe it’s up to our own power.
So why do I still have the fear? And is anyone else like this?

We have the exact same fear, I cannot count the number of nights I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about such things, ( for some reason, I feel overly vulnerable when sleeping or in the middle of the night), I am very terrified of this, I also know its not logical, but NO ONE knows what happens at death, I just try not to think about it.

The only thing that does somewhat comfort me when I start panicking about this, is to think hard about it…what would the purpose of life be if this is what happens when we die? Just have to have faith God would not allow such a thing to happen to anyone.

BTW, I am being cremated, Ive made it clear to my family and friends, there is NO WAY Im going into the ground in a box!!

 

[thistle]

Also, having your ashes scattered anywhere is forbidden, whether on land or at sea. I believe cremation has now been accepted by the Catholic Church, as long as the ashes are interred properly in a vault. I’ve never heard of them being interred in the ground, in a miniature casket, but I don’t see why they couldn’t be. It’s still respectful and traditional.

From The Order of Christian Funerals:

“The cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come. This includes the use of a worthy vessel to contain the ashes, the manner in which they are carried, and the care and attention to appropriate placement and transport, and the final disposition. The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains on the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires. (no. 417)”

 

[DeniseNY]

Also, having your ashes scattered anywhere is forbidden, whether on land or at sea. I believe cremation has now been accepted by the Catholic Church, as long as the ashes are interred properly in a vault.

This is correct.

 

[GEddie]

Also, having your ashes scattered anywhere is forbidden, whether on land or at sea. I believe cremation has now been accepted by the Catholic Church, as long as the ashes are interred properly in a vault. I’ve never heard of them being interred in the ground, in a miniature casket, but I don’t see why they couldn’t be. It’s still respectful and traditional.

Normally a cylindrical urn, not a casket (which is shaped to hold a body).

The ashes must be treated with the respect due the human body they once were because in eternity there will be a body once again. Scattering denies that respect, and the home is not a secure resting place (urn might get knocked around while cleaning etc).

ICXC NIKA

 

[Lily_Bernans]

Since you yourself admit this is irrational, I wouldn’t recommend thinking about cremation. Wanting to be cremated out of fear is to give in to thoughts which you concede are a fantasy. The more you do that, I would think the more concrete the fantasy would become.

You seem to be afraid of existing in a certain kind of coma, and seem to think, on an emotional level, that this state is what death *really *is. Do you have any reason for wanting to see death in that sort of light? Have you ever dealt with someone’s death by thinking of them as existing in that sort of state? Is there something about this idea of death-as-coma that you, on some level, find appealing?

My mother used to tell me that when you get older, you don’t fear death. However, I know she was only trying to placate me because I’ve known many older people who’ve died (I’m a hospice volunteer) and some feared death very much. She also told me it was just like going to sleep, but I said, uh, no, Mom, when I go to sleep I WAKE UP. After that, she didn’t tell me anything. LOL

I don’t fear being dead since my soul will live on as much as I hope my death isn’t violent (as in an accident) or hurts terribly, but I guess I have to take what I’m given. I do pray for a “good death” almost daily. I’m not that old, so hopefully, I have time to get that “good death” I want. I look forward to the resurrection of the dead, however, because I want to see my parents again and my best friend, a Catholic priest.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

We have the exact same fear, I cannot count the number of nights I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about such things, ( for some reason, I feel overly vulnerable when sleeping or in the middle of the night)!

If I feel “creepy” for no reason really, in bed in the night, I say five Hail Marys. I have had dreams often enough of graves. I had another one just the other night. I’m never in the casket, but in this last dream, I was able to climb under the earth and saw a closed casket there. I always see a casket under the earth through an opening in the ground where the grass hasn’t fully grown in. These “casket dreams” started a few months ago, after the death of a very dear friend of mine. But long before then, I’ve had this “trapped in the grave” fear. I’ve thought maybe I should talk to a priest about this.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

If I feel “creepy” for no reason really, in bed in the night, I say five Hail Marys. I have had dreams often enough of graves. I had another one just the other night. I’m never in the casket, but in this last dream, I was able to climb under the earth and saw a closed casket there. I always see a casket under the earth through an opening in the ground where the grass hasn’t fully grown in. These “casket dreams” started a few months ago, after the death of a very dear friend of mine. But long before then, I’ve had this “trapped in the grave” fear. I’ve thought maybe I should talk to a priest about this.

Maybe you are thinking about death subconsciously. It might help put your mind at ease to talk to a priest.

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamed our pastor fell backwards and spilled all the consecrated hosts! Then, all of a sudden, I was someplace else and I was being arrested and begging the police not to use handcuffs, but they insisted…nicely. I guess I watched too many episodes of “Law and Order” last night! I am NOT a criminal or criminally minded, and our pastor is very careful with Christ’s precious body.

 

[mikekle]

If I feel “creepy” for no reason really, in bed in the night, I say five Hail Marys. I have had dreams often enough of graves. I had another one just the other night. I’m never in the casket, but in this last dream, I was able to climb under the earth and saw a closed casket there. I always see a casket under the earth through an opening in the ground where the grass hasn’t fully grown in. These “casket dreams” started a few months ago, after the death of a very dear friend of mine. But long before then, I’ve had this “trapped in the grave” fear. I’ve thought maybe I should talk to a priest about this.

Its not that I get a creepy feeling at night, its more of a regular fear of death, just intensified, Im guessing its because Im totally alone, its quiet, but when Im awake, out working, during the day, I still have the fear of being dead, but not nearly as bad, I think being around other people, lots of noise, etc has something to do with this.

I hear a lot of people say they never know when death is coming, thus, their fear of it, it scares them that they may not be able to ask for forgiveness of any sins, but usually before I get going in the morning, I will ask God to forgive me of any sins, I figure if I do this every day, if I get in an accident or some other unexpected thing happens that causes my death, I will be OK, since I do this each and every morning.