Fear of Confession

[polishprincess]

I have a fear of confession too. I also hate small places and not being in control. I literally am sick to my stomach before going to confession so I understand being afraid.

I do what TheDoctor (poster above me) suggested. I also try to write down what I am going to say so I don’t get too nervous and forget anything. Most importantly, I always tell the priest that I am nervous and every priest that I have had in confession has been very kind and has led me through confession. I have to say, once I am out of the confessional, I feel wonderful!

Good luck and know you’re not alone!

Thanks ! GOD BLESS!

 

[polishprincess]

Thank you all for your kind and helpful replies! god bless you all!:d

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Anyone have any advice on overcoming fear of Confession??? ppl tell me ‘’ oh don’t be afraid!’’ ppl are not telling me how not to be scared! Emotionally, I’m not strong enough to go! Thank you! God blessing’s be upon you!

Sorry you’re experiencing this fear of confession. Perhaps it will be easier if you choose not to be face to face but to confess through the screen - or if that’s the sacry thing, then confess face to face. But go!

Most priests are at their best in the confessional. Some just don’t have the charism for this sacrament, but that is rare. Most priest work hard to help the people who come to this wonderful sacrament.

We receive a great sacramental grace from confessing our sins, absolution, and performing the penance. The enemy knows this and tries to thwart our reception of this powerful grace.

Just go. Tell the priest it’s difficult for you. He will walk you through the steps and help you.

 

[RoseMary131]

That’s a good way of looking at it…Spiritual bubblebath! I know I need to go I haven’t been to confession since the night before my Confirmation (which was two months ago!) Thanks and God bless!

Dearest Princess,

Please disregard my long message on overcoming fear.

My dear, you are a new born baby in the faith. If I had known you received your wonderful Sacrament of Confirmation only two tiny months ago, I never would have mentioned so many ways to relax and over come fear.

You are feeling exactly what most people feel - as sweet Michael said “I think you suffer from…(pause with Dramatic Music)…human nature.”

I gave you the dreaded answer to: Mommy where do babies come from?

You will be fine.

Your priest may even help you so you can approach the Sacrament of Confession in the confessional. You will want to feel free to stop into any church on any day in any town and feel comfortable going to confession. (Comfortable - meaning without excessive fear - not always meaning without concern which many people will always feel.)

Peace and Happy Confession.

 

[polishprincess]

Dearest Princess,

Please disregard my long message on overcoming fear.

My dear, you are a new born baby in the faith. If I had known you received your wonderful Sacrament of Confirmation only two tiny months ago, I never would have mentioned so many ways to relax and over come fear.

You are feeling exactly what most people feel - as sweet Michael said “I think you suffer from…(pause with Dramatic Music)…human nature.”

I gave you the dreaded answer to: Mommy where do babies come from?

You will be fine.

Your priest may even help you so you can approach the Sacrament of Confession in the confessional. You will want to feel free to stop into any church on any day in any town and feel comfortable going to confession. (Comfortable - meaning without excessive fear - not always meaning without concern which many people will always feel.)

Peace and Happy Confession.

I’m not as young as you think I am…I was Confirmed in the adult program. GBU!

 

[gilou]

Hi Polish Princess! If you feel you need to go to confession it is probably God already prompting you to go and he will give you the courage to go ahead. I experienced this last January. My parents although catholic did not bring us up to go to confession. I felt the urge to go after I realised that I had offended God gravely by my behaviour, nit really realising it, but that he had always been by my side: I married an alcoholic who was 18 years older than me in my 20. I became so unhappy that I decided to divorce him. It was not an easy decision to take. He was very manipulative and jealous. I met afterwards my present husband who is the same age as me, respects me and is allergic to drink! We have 2children although I did not conceive a child with my ex. In November I found out my ex had died of cancer RIP. The realisation of how blessed I have been in my life has made me turn to God again and follow his teachings as much as I can and go to confession, 30 years after my last one! What I did was wrote out all that I wanted to say, I use a really good app that helps you with confession: laudate or confess it. I wrote all my sins down and went to see my parish priest. I preferred face to face as I find the confessional more scary but it is up to you. Maybe going to a priest you do not know might be better. My priest shut his eyes when I said the length of time since my last confession and I concentrated on my paper! The point is that it has been a life changing experience. I used to look at porn sometimes and masturbate. My priest said that these habits were part of my previous life. Since then I have not gone back to either. For me, it was truly God that spoke through my priest and if I am tempted, I hear those words and resist. The relief and love I felt afterwards were amazing and I really felt that God welcome me back into his love and forgave me. Just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes. It was such a powerful experience. I am now encouraging my ten year old to go so that he is used to it.I now go every month. Sorry for a long winded answer but my point is, pluck up your courage and go. The priests have heard it all before and the humbling experience of confessing, will be a small price to pay for the great love you will feel! Pray to the Holy Spirit who is in you before the confession to give you the courage to go ahead with it. My advice is not to delay!

 

[klm120861]

I’m not as young as you think I am…I was Confirmed in the adult program. GBU!

It’s okay. I became Catholic 9 years ago, but rarely went to confession. I might have made the minimum of once a year most years, but some years, I doubt even that. Doing the math, until this past year, I had maybe been to confession 5 times in my entire life (I’m 51).

This past year, I taught a class on reconciliation, and since I could hardly “recommend” people go about once a month if I avoided confession like the plague, I committed to going at least once a month. I was terrified. Really, really terrified. Partly because I am a confessed control-freak and in the confessional I have absolutely no control.

With time things have gotten better. I’m merely scared now, instead of totally terrified. It might help (probably does) that my spiritual director knows I have difficulty in confession. Also it helps that I go to the same confessor and he knows that I have difficulty in confession.

I would very much like for my confessions to be very business-like: I go in, state my sins, get absolved, do my penance, thank you very much, have a nice day, see you next month.

I think one of the things that sacres me still is simply that with confession, it’s not business, it’s personal. That, and I’m a control-freak.

Give it time. Let the priest know you are scared If you go face-to-face, he probably can see that you’re scared, but admitting it helps.
I am praying for you. It does get easier.
Kris

 

[Chii]

Hi Polish Princess,
I’m new here but I know sometimes you don’t want advice, as much as you want someone to say you aren’t alone. I’m* terrified *of confession! I avoided it until I realized a year had passed. I did all the breathing exercises and everything as I waited in line… but I still felt woozy and sick. I asked my husband to check my pulse, but he said “I can’t, you’re shaking too badly for me to feel it.” I meditated on God’s Divine Mercy and all that He suffered for my sake, and that was nice - but it didn’t stop the trembling or dizziness at all. As always, I had everything written out already, and I’d practiced, and even had tissues ready, lol. Because once I start talking, no matter what, I can’t keep my body, or even my voice itself from shaking… I become overwhelmed by all my unreasonable terror… and I just sob. Every time. There’s not even anything really bad that I’m confessing either!

Another thing - everyone says you’ll feel wonderful when you come out. Don’t feel bad if that isn’t true for you - I don’t. I feel nauseous from the adrenaline dump, and just generally sickened. My husband recommends a coke for the shock (sugar and caffeine). I just saw someone like myself in you, and… I just wanted to say that you aren’t alone in this mysterious suffering.

Someone in this forum said, "You may want to think, “Why am I experiencing fear when I think about going to confession. What is it I am fearful of when going to confession.” After a lot of thinking I realized for me it was my parent’s perfectionism and how I was brought up. It was perfect, or nothing! And I realized I’m not terrified of the priest, I’m terrified of God (unreasonably, I know, but God is a father figure) sorting me out like the goats in this Bible verse:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.” - Matthew 25:31-33

Yet realizing the source of it hasn’t changed the loss of control over my body at all, in that moment of the sacrament. You feel brave until you get there… then your body betrays you. If anything I’d offer it up. It’s a suffering of the mind, so maybe you could unite it to our Lord’s suffering in the garden? These feelings or actions aren’t something you’re willing to happen, so it definitely can’t be a sin! If anything I’m sure our Lord is very proud of you for coming to Him, because He knows it costs you so much. May God bless you and keep you always!

 

[Alexander13]

My problem is that I dont think i’m very contrite. After going week after week, confessing the same old sin and promising to never sin again, i’ve become jaded. Before I even confess, i’m pretty sure i’ll fall to the same sin again in the near future.

So now I dont know what i’m doing. I dont confess, I dont take communion, but I go to sunday mass. I’ve given up on all the priests in my area. I feel for them and the stresses they’re under, but none of them can really help. Their faith seems confused and pretty well dead, theyre not very intelligent or funny, and they have enough problems of their own.

So until I can really say “Ok, i’m ready to give up this sin; I see it for the evil that it is and I completely renounce its power over me” - until that day, I dont feel worthy of the sacrament; i’d be presuming on God’s mercy and just humiliate myself for no good reason.

Right?

 

[teachccd]

My problem is that I dont think i’m very contrite. After going week after week, confessing the same old sin and promising to never sin again, i’ve become jaded. Before I even confess, i’m pretty sure i’ll fall to the same sin again in the near future.

So now I dont know what i’m doing. I dont confess, I dont take communion, but I go to sunday mass. I’ve given up on all the priests in my area. I feel for them and the stresses they’re under, but none of them can really help. Their faith seems confused and pretty well dead, theyre not very intelligent or funny, and they have enough problems of their own.

So until I can really say “Ok, i’m ready to give up this sin; I see it for the evil that it is and I completely renounce its power over me” - until that day, I dont feel worthy of the sacrament; i’d be presuming on God’s mercy and just humiliate myself for no good reason.

Right?

Not the way I see it. You see Jesus exhorted His apostles to forgive not seven times but seventy times seven. In biblical terms that means without end. I would think that if you are going to confession with “the same old sin” that means that you are at least aware that you need to amend your ways. Now Saint Paul speaks of a thorn in his side that humbles him and I believe that we all have at least one. If you are waiting for that day when you renounce all of the power that that sin has over you then it might be too late since this may be a lifetime weakness. None the less your contrition and acknowledgement of the sin is what God is looking for and He will continue to forgive you. Maybe see it this way: God knows from all eternity how many times you will commit that sin but He still loved you into existence and wills for you to come to Him.

My friend you and everyone here needs the sacraments. You need them now more than ever because what you describe is despair and that is the devil’s playing field. I have my same old sins that I continually confess but I will never give up. I will keep going to confession even though I know how weak I am and that I probably will fail. But I also know that Jesus is right next to me always with arms outstretched and He will never let me stay down. I just reach up and He picks me up. Yes, over and over and over again…God bless you and I pray that you go back.

 

[Alexander13]

Not the way I see it. You see Jesus exhorted His apostles to forgive not seven times but seventy times seven. In biblical terms that means without end. I would think that if you are going to confession with “the same old sin” that means that you are at least aware that you need to amend your ways. Now Saint Paul speaks of a thorn in his side that humbles him and I believe that we all have at least one. If you are waiting for that day when you renounce all of the power that that sin has over you then it might be too late since this may be a lifetime weakness. None the less your contrition and acknowledgement of the sin is what God is looking for and He will continue to forgive you. Maybe see it this way: God knows from all eternity how many times you will commit that sin but He still loved you into existence and wills for you to come to Him.

My friend you and everyone here needs the sacraments. You need them now more than ever because what you describe is despair and that is the devil’s playing field. I have my same old sins that I continually confess but I will never give up. I will keep going to confession even though I know how weak I am and that I probably will fail. But I also know that Jesus is right next to me always with arms outstretched and He will never let me stay down. I just reach up and He picks me up. Yes, over and over and over again…God bless you and I pray that you go back.

Thanks Teach. That was helpful. I probably am despairing, and that’s Satan’s doing, youre right.

I guess i’m struggling to reconcile the ideal (the life of the saints) with the reality of my own weakness… I need forgiveness and healing, but I dont want to become a total hypocrite. I mean, whether I keep sinning and confessing or keep sinning while acknowledging that my contrition isnt good, still amounts to the same thing, right? It’s still sin - a wound and insult on the Lord. And if i’m not really sorry and really resolved to give it up, then i’m nothing like the Saints, my loyalty between heaven and hell is divided and I add insult to injury by even asking for confession as a sort of ‘insurance’ policy or something.

I’m just like… an angry husband who kinda loves his wife, but he beats her up every night; she cries, he says sorry and they have sex, but they do the same thing the next night. Isnt it better for the husband to still support his wife, but move away from her and keep his anger to himself?

Anyone have an opinion?