Fear Of Flying

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Augustine3

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I have a crippling fear of flying to the point of never setting my foot on a plane again.

I have searched for help among my family (my brother works at the airport) and researched the net for advice and watched videos about conquering the fear to of no avail. Now is not a good time financially to pay for a course.

Because of this fear, I feel I have greatly let down our Lord for not trusting him nor accepting his will (I have deliberately avoided flights which I should have taken). Now I feel my love and trust for our Lord is conditional and will always remain conditional and it’s tearing me apart emotionally. I was praying this evening but I felt so low and guilty that I couldn’t even look up at the crucifix.

I need advice please. All comments are welcome.
 
I used to be afraid of flying, too. I think that to some extent it’s normal. The more you do it, the more it will become second nature to you, and it’ll be just like riding in a car (at least that’s how it’s become for me).

Certainly pray to help you with the fear! I always pray to St. Jude!
 
Augustine3 said:
I have a crippling fear of flying to the point of never setting my foot on a plane again.

I have searched for help among my family (my brother works at the airport) and researched the net for advice and watched videos about conquering the fear to of no avail. Now is not a good time financially to pay for a course.

Because of this fear, I feel I have greatly let down our Lord for not trusting him nor accepting his will (I have deliberately avoided flights which I should have taken). Now I feel my love and trust for our Lord is conditional and will always remain conditional and it’s tearing me apart emotionally. I was praying this evening but I felt so low and guilty that I couldn’t even look up at the crucifix.

I need advice please. All comments are welcome.
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Why do you need to use air transportation? Is it part of your job?
I prefer driving and the last time I was on a plane was over 10 years ago.
Security rifled through my luggage so badly everything was a shambles. I think they imagined I was a drug dealer,because I was going from the Mexican border to Chicago,LOL.
Never have flown since and possibly never will again.
I doubt God cares about that and unless it is part of your job I would not fret too much.
 
Firstly, understand that your fear of flying is an uncontrollable phobia, and thus not an insult to Our Lord. It is something you cannot control, just as some people fear spiders. Fear is a part of the flight or fight impulse. People can be trained to overcome these phobias. You have to remember that flying is statistically one of the safest forms of transport. This information will not help your phobia, but will assist in your understanding of the irrationality of your phobia and thus your lack of conscious control. No insult to God. No letting Him down. Whatever you do about flying please realise it has no spiritual fall out.
 
I have a fear of flying too-and I have been able to fly on many occasions because I visit the doctor beforehand and get medication to relax.

If you are traveling with someone-this is what I would recommend.
 
I would recommend some counseling. Check with your insurance company to see what is provided and co-pay costs.
 
Augustine3 said:
I have a crippling fear of flying to the point of never setting my foot on a plane again.

I have searched for help among my family (my brother works at the airport) and researched the net for advice and watched videos about conquering the fear to of no avail. Now is not a good time financially to pay for a course.

Because of this fear, I feel I have greatly let down our Lord for not trusting him nor accepting his will (I have deliberately avoided flights which I should have taken). Now I feel my love and trust for our Lord is conditional and will always remain conditional and it’s tearing me apart emotionally. I was praying this evening but I felt so low and guilty that I couldn’t even look up at the crucifix.

I need advice please. All comments are welcome.
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We all have fears we have to deal with. It isn’t easy but we have to work to overcome them and it involves some suffering.

I have a fear of driving. Flying does not bother me but driving does. It’s not the act of driving itself that scares me. In fact I enjoy it. It’s the insane drivers on the road that has me worried.
 
Petaro said:
Firstly, understand that your fear of flying is an uncontrollable phobia, and thus not an insult to Our Lord. It is something you cannot control, just as some people fear spiders. Fear is a part of the flight or fight impulse. People can be trained to overcome these phobias. You have to remember that flying is statistically one of the safest forms of transport. This information will not help your phobia, but will assist in your understanding of the irrationality of your phobia and thus your lack of conscious control. No insult to God. No letting Him down. Whatever you do about flying please realise it has no spiritual fall out.
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Petaro said:
… No insult to God. No letting Him down. Whatever you do about flying please realise it has no spiritual fall out.
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I agree with that.

Augustine3, have you flown before? If so, approximately how many times?
 
Augustine3 said:
I have a crippling fear of flying to the point of never setting my foot on a plane again.

I have searched for help among my family (my brother works at the airport) and researched the net for advice and watched videos about conquering the fear to of no avail. Now is not a good time financially to pay for a course.

Because of this fear, I feel I have greatly let down our Lord for not trusting him nor accepting his will (I have deliberately avoided flights which I should have taken). Now I feel my love and trust for our Lord is conditional and will always remain conditional and it’s tearing me apart emotionally. I was praying this evening but I felt so low and guilty that I couldn’t even look up at the crucifix.

I need advice please. All comments are welcome.
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I love flying, I hate being flown. Yes, I’m a pilot and I don’t like not having control over the airplane.

It isn’t the Lord you don’t trust-- it’s the folks upfront, whom you don’t know and are just human. It’s kind of reasonable to have a bit of fear handing control over your life to complete strangers. The pilot, attendants, ground crew, mechanics, air traffic controllers, design engineers, manufacturer etc.

Fear of flying to me is quite reasonable, even given the statistics because of that crucial factor that in driving you have control, flying you don’t. Someone else is making all the risk decisions.

You have no idea whether it was God’s will for you to get on a plane or not. He created you, and that includes the fear of flying- perhaps for a reason. Sorry you feel bad about that aspect of you and are having trouble dealing with it. Perhaps God has things he intends for you to do that don’t involve air travel. Maybe when you don’t take a flight you think you should, look around closer to home for something that He may be directing you towards?

Might help to learn about different airlines training requirements and flight conduct policies, all the provisions they put in place directed at flying safely. They don’t like to take chances-- they lose a lot of money when an airplane crashes, not just in equipment but drops in sales, replacing personnel etc.
 
I’m afraid of flying as well. This is normal for some people and is not an illness you need to be cured of. unless flying is absolutely essential to you, travel by another means and be at peace. Trains are an excellent way to get about for instance.
 
Petaro said:
Firstly, understand that your fear of flying is an uncontrollable phobia, and thus not an insult to Our Lord. **It is something you cannot control, just as some people fear spiders. Fear is a part of the flight or fight impulse. **People can be trained to overcome these phobias. You have to remember that flying is statistically one of the safest forms of transport. This information will not help your phobia, but will assist in your understanding of the irrationality of your phobia and thus your lack of conscious control. No insult to God. No letting Him down. Whatever you do about flying please realise it has no spiritual fall out.
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This.

I liken it to allergies – your immune system overreacts to a trigger, and it some cases it can kill you. Having a deadly allergy, though, does not mean you are guilty of attempted suicide.

Same with a phobia. Your fight-or-flight response overreacts to a trigger.

I’ve heard of soldiers who would not think twice before charging into a hail of bullets, throwing themselves on a grenade, going hand-to-hand with an overwhelming number of the enemy – who faint when the medic pulls out a baby needle to do a blood test.

Phobias have nothing to do with moral weakness. Be at peace. God knows your fear here is beyond your control.
 
Is it fear of flying or fear of dying? I think most of us have some fear about what comes next because even though we have faith there is still a lot of mystery and unknown about what will happen when our hearts stop beating. We are called to trust in the Lord and complete abandonment to Him is hard as being humans we want to be in control. Physical death is inevitable, but I think most of us would want to have a little while to prepare and to be in control of our faculties when the time comes. That’s why the thought of sudden death is so scary and why it is so important to pray constantly and be ready for as scripture points out, no one knows the day or hour when we will be face to face with our maker.
 
I too have a fear of flying. I was on a plane a week before 9/11 and got off right before take off. Of course, a week later, I felt my fears were totally rationalized.

I made myself get on a 8 hr plane ride for my honeymoon, which went ok thanks to xanax.

I agree with the pilot above who said it’s lack of control that bothers us. Even though statistically, driving is much more risky, I don’t fear when I drive. I KNOW I’m a good driver with insanely fast reflexes. On a plane, however, I’m placing all my trust in people I don’t know. I don’t like that one bit.

It helped me to talk to the pilots and flight attendants before take off. Actually, the pilots were great- they even said hello to me over the intercom. I felt better trusting them.

What also helped was to read a few books about fear of flying. One in particular went over the physics of flying. I even read about how I could fly a plane if necessary, you know, just in case the pilots couldn’t (can you see I have trust issues?) This actually really helped me feel like I had some control.
 
Of course the fear of flying “has a reason.” That doesn’t mean that God created it.

While I agree that your fear is not an affront to God (it is a natural reaction, like the gag reflex) it may be worth working around if it is causing you regrets. Have you missed gain opportunities or life experiences because you would not fly?

Go to a priest for counsel. He can no doubt find you some help that would not pinch you financially.

ICXC NIKA
 
Many others have provided good insights. I developed a fear of flying. I flew many times as a child. As an adult I used to work for a couple airlines and so I flew a lot. I used to absolutely love flying. In my thirties I developed anxiety. It effected many areas of my life. It even caused me to develop a fear of flying. For me it wasn’t just about flying but letting anxiety take control.

I sought counseling and was able to make great progress in my anxiety. For me I also found in tackling the anxiety it helped me to fix many bad patterns of thinking. These ways of thinking were bad and harmful to my mental well being.

As for flying I hadn’t in over a decade until last year. My father in law wanted to take his family on a nice family vacation. This involved twelve hours of flight time. I was really nervous about it. But I decided to go. I actually was not nervous at all prior to the flight. In fact this shocked me. I had done my best to pray, relax and think positive thoughts (negativity is a big problem for me), but I was shocked how calm I felt. I got excited as the jets were powered up for takeoff. Then just after we took off we hit some hard but very normal bumps. My anxiety came out and I let it.

But this also helped me to realize something specific for flying. The bumps cause a jolt which have a natural tendency to make one nervous. My problem is that I let that get the best of me. I let it go from nothing to something of great concern. The reality is bumps and turbulence are nothing to be concerned with. Almost without exception turbulence isn’t going to bring down a commercial jet. But there is the physical aspect to this. There was that jolt to the brain and it has to be dealt with. I allowed it to run wild. I know from my counseling that I can’t do that. So the first leg didn’t start off well. But I recovered. The rest of the trip was fine. And the return trip was actually wonderful. I actually thoroughly enjoyed the whole trip back.

Others have suggested some things which are good tips. I do think familiarizing yourself with how modern commercial jets work and how safe they are is good. I think introducing yourself to the crew is a good idea. I also think if you were to fly visualizing hitting turbulence and not worrying about it is helpful. I did that before my return trip. We were taking a tour and going over some washboarded roads. I used the opportunity to close my eyes and imagine myself on a plane experiencing turbulence.

As for the trust in God issue I understand that. But nervousness doesn’t mean you don’t trust in God. Nervousness can be physical. If I drink too much coffee I get nervous. That has nothing to do with trust in God. If I hit a bump while flying my body is going to have a natural physical reaction. That has nothing to do with trust in God. It might be that through prayer and mental disciplines you can overcome anxieties, but failure to do so doesn’t mean a lack of trust in God. It just means you are battling the physical part of your being. It is like how trust in God won’t keep you from getting drunk if you drink to excess.

I don’t like heights either and never have. My palms get sweaty just looking at pictures taken from heights. And yet I don’t think of that as a lack of trust in God. I just think of it as a natural aversion to falling and dying. Jesus prayed that the cup may be taken from Him if it was God’s will. Jesus sweated blood in the garden. This did not mean He did not trust God. It just meant He didn’t look forward to dying or the torments of His Passion. The emotional pain was so great it manifested itself physically.

Please don’t be discouraged by your fears. You can work on them. And even if you don’t experience relief they don’t indicate a lack of trust.
 
I also have an extreme fear of flying. I haven’t flown since 1991. My husband also has a fear of flying. would love to be able to get over it.
I know intellectually that flying is much safer than taking the interstate across country, which I’ve done to visit relatives, and attend funerals, even that of my father.
And I’m getting less and less comfortable driving long distances, too, since I’m pushing 60, don’t see as well, and I just don’t like long road trips as well as I used to.
Besides, there are places you really can’t go without traveling by air that I would like to visit, such as Europe, Asia, Australia, Mexico, South America,ect.
I always wanted to see Alaska, hard to go to without flying there from the lower 48.
For the U.S. I would like to see a high speed rail system put up for those of us that don’t like to fly-would be awesome-but I’m unlikely to see that in my lifetime.
On a spiritual level I feel that my fear of flying is not trusting in God’s will for me-and I need to work on that too

P.S. I hate heights all kinds of heights so maybe that plays into it.
I know for me it’s an anxiety issue and some of you have given great advice.
My goal is to fly somewhere someday.
 
Vanny said:
P.S. I hate heights all kinds of heights so maybe that plays into it.
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It may, but actually a lot of pilots have a fear of heights. Personally I think it is often related to a sense of lack of control. This would make sense from my experience where my anxieties spring from a sense of lack of control. What has helped me tremendously is to realize I do often lack control and to be at peace with that. But also sometimes I do have control where I otherwise might think I don’t. The serenity prayer is helpful:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
 
Thanks, thanks very much everyone, I have a lot of relief in my heart and confidence in God’s love (even if he may be a little disappointed).

I guess what gets me is I wanted to spirituality grow and mature in God’s love. How can I teach my kids during their time of their anxiety to “pray, hope and not worry” if they ever found out about my problem and call me a hypocrite?
 
Europe, Asia, Australia, Mexico, South America,ect.
I always wanted to see Alaska, hard to go to without flying there from the lower 48.
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You could drive to Seattle and take a cruise ship to Alaska:)

Mexico and C.A. are reachable by land, though with difficulty.

Europe and Australia, yeah you’d be out of luck 🙂

ICXC NIKA
 
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