fear of going to hell

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Monica4316

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Hi,

I’m struggling with something and I’m going to try and seek some help, but I’d really appreciate prayers.

For the last little while, I’ve been having these horrible experiences where I feel completely certain that I’ll go to hell because I left the Orthodox Church and became Catholic. (even though I completely believe in the Catholic Church). In the beginning, when I’d turn to God, He comforted me… but now, it’s so difficult for me to figure out if it’s God who’s telling me these things, or not. It feels like an internal voice saying it to me. Because of this, I’ve been going through a lot of fear, and I’m not sure if God wants me to be Orthodox or Catholic. I don’t know what to believe, or even who God is anymore 😦 at one point, I almost lost my faith, and it was difficult to learn to trust God again. Sometimes I feel so strongly I should be Orthodox, but these experiences aren’t like anything I’ve had from God before, - they’re very harsh and don’t produce any lasting peace or joy, and in the end I either despair of God’s mercy (even if I say yes to converting) or the whole thing fades and I’m Catholic again.

I’ve been waking up in fear every morning and I don’t know what to do…

I’m going to try and do a novena (for the truth), perhaps visit an Orthodox church, but mostly I want to just receive the Eucharist…

but I’d really appreciate any prayers cause at this point, I just want to know the truth 😦 I can’t live with this fear anymore, I want to know that I’m following God’s will. I have no idea what His will is at the moment.

Thank you!!
 
I had somewhat the same experience when I turned from a life of sin and went back to the
Church and took it Seriously. Satan attacked me with all he had, but I kept saying the Rosary
and eventually the attacks went away. It was a long painful time for me.
I will pray for you!
Be at peace
Dan
:highprayer:
 
I pray that you find a good spiritual director and that you know that you are already in the true Church of Jesus Christ (the Holy Catholic Church) and that you have no reason whatsoever to leave - other than apostasy (and that’s not a good reason). Why would God ask you to leave his Church for one that isn’t even faithful to the Chair of Peter?
 
Thanks everyone!

I’ve decided to do a novena for the truth… I need to know if the “warning” about hell was from God, (or a dangerous temptation) - and about the Papacy. Basically, it comes down to…either the Bishop of Rome separated from the others and began inventing new doctrines, or the Bishop of Rome is the successor of St Peter and the East separated from him for political reasons and misunderstandings.

I’m going to do this novena, receive the Eucharist, and visit the Orthodox church because maybe that will help clear things up for me.

Everything in the Catholic Church makes a lot of sense for me. I would not have doubted it if it wasn’t for these really intense experiences, where I feel like ‘something’ is speaking directly to my mind and telling me I need to be EO, etc… I need to know if this is God or not, because I don’t want to risk my salvation. If it’s God, hopefully by the end of these 9 days, I’ll know. If it’s not, I hope it would just go away and God will restore my full faith in the Church, and I wouldn’t be afraid anymore.

There are some quotes by the ECFs that really imply the truth of the papacy, for example these ones by St Cyprian:

“[After quoting Matthew 16:18f; John 21:15ff]…On him [Peter] He builds the Church, and to him He gives the command to feed the sheep; and although He assigned a like power to all the Apostles, yet he founded a single Chair, and He established by His own authority a source and an intrinsic reason for that unity. Indeed, the others were that also which Peter was; but a primacy is given to Peter, whereby it is made clear that there is but one Church and one Chair. So too, all are shepherds, and the flock is shown to be one, fed by all the Apostles in single-minded accord. If someone does not hold fast to this unity of Peter, can he imagine that he still holds the faith? If he desert the chair of Peter upon whom the Church was built, can he still be confident that he is in the Church?” (Cyprian, The Unity of the Catholic Church [first edition] 4, c. AD 251)

[the question is, is the successor of St Peter - the Pope, or all the bishops? the EO say it’s all the bishops…however this next quote seems to contradict that]

“With a false bishop appointed for themselves by heretics, they dare even to set sail and carry letters from schismatics and blasphemers to the chair of Peter and to the principal Church [at Rome], in which sacerdotal unity has its source; nor did they take thought that these are Romans, whose faith was praised by the preaching Apostle, and among whom it is not possible for perfidy to have entrance.” (Cyprian, Letter 59 (55), 14 to Cornelius of Rome, c. AD 252)

“There speaks Peter, upon whom the Church would be built, teaching in the name of the Church and showing that even if a stubborn and proud multitude withdraws because it does not wish to obey, yet the Church does not withdraw from Christ. The people joined to the priest and the flock clinging to their shepherd are the Church. You ought to know, then, that the bishop is in the Church and the Church in the bishop, and if someone is not with the bishop, he is not in the Church. They vainly flatter themselves who creep up, not having peace with the priests of God, believing that they are secretly in communion with certain individuals. For the Church, which is One and Catholic, is not split nor divided, but is indeed united and joined by the cement of priests who adhere one to another.” (Cyprian, Letter 66 (69), 8 to Florentius Pupianus, c. AD 254)

the ‘voice’ that I feel is telling me that I’m going to hell if I don’t become Orthodox, feels a lot like God’s voice (but not loving/merciful)… however, I had a similar ‘voice’ try to tell me in the past that I’ve committed the unforgiveable sin, when I hadn’t, so I don’t really trust such voices. Also, last time I received the Eucharist, it went away (but since then I havne’t had the opportunity to go to Confession so I haven’t had Communion in 2 weeks, sadly). But for all I know, it could be God! I really want to be sure that I’m not on the wrong road… So I’ll be doing the novena, and I’d really appreciate any prayers as well 🙂 thanks!!!
 
Monica4316 said:
Thanks everyone!

I’ve decided to do a novena for the truth… I need to know if the “warning” about hell was from God, (or a dangerous temptation) - and about the Papacy. Basically, it comes down to…either the Bishop of Rome separated from the others and began inventing new doctrines, or the Bishop of Rome is the successor of St Peter and the East separated from him for political reasons and misunderstandings.

I’m going to do this novena, receive the Eucharist, and visit the Orthodox church because maybe that will help clear things up for me.

Everything in the Catholic Church makes a lot of sense for me. I would not have doubted it if it wasn’t for these really intense experiences, where I feel like ‘something’ is speaking directly to my mind and telling me I need to be EO, etc… I need to know if this is God or not, because I don’t want to risk my salvation. If it’s God, hopefully by the end of these 9 days, I’ll know. If it’s not, I hope it would just go away and God will restore my full faith in the Church, and I wouldn’t be afraid anymore.

There are some quotes by the ECFs that really imply the truth of the papacy, for example these ones by St Cyprian:

“[After quoting Matthew 16:18f; John 21:15ff]…On him [Peter] He builds the Church, and to him He gives the command to feed the sheep; and although He assigned a like power to all the Apostles, yet he founded a single Chair, and He established by His own authority a source and an intrinsic reason for that unity. Indeed, the others were that also which Peter was; but a primacy is given to Peter, whereby it is made clear that there is but one Church and one Chair. So too, all are shepherds, and the flock is shown to be one, fed by all the Apostles in single-minded accord. If someone does not hold fast to this unity of Peter, can he imagine that he still holds the faith? If he desert the chair of Peter upon whom the Church was built, can he still be confident that he is in the Church?” (Cyprian, The Unity of the Catholic Church [first edition] 4, c. AD 251)

[the question is, is the successor of St Peter - the Pope, or all the bishops? the EO say it’s all the bishops…however this next quote seems to contradict that]

“With a false bishop appointed for themselves by heretics, they dare even to set sail and carry letters from schismatics and blasphemers **to the chair of Peter **and to the principal Church [at Rome], in which sacerdotal unity has its source; nor did they take thought that these are Romans, whose faith was praised by the preaching Apostle, and among whom it is not possible for perfidy to have entrance.” (Cyprian, Letter 59 (55), 14 to Cornelius of Rome, c. AD 252)

“There speaks Peter, upon whom the Church would be built, teaching in the name of the Church and showing that even if a stubborn and proud multitude withdraws because it does not wish to obey, yet the Church does not withdraw from Christ. The people joined to the priest and the flock clinging to their shepherd are the Church. You ought to know, then, that the bishop is in the Church and the Church in the bishop, and if someone is not with the bishop, he is not in the Church. They vainly flatter themselves who creep up, not having peace with the priests of God, believing that they are secretly in communion with certain individuals. For the Church, which is One and Catholic, is not split nor divided, but is indeed united and joined by the cement of priests who adhere one to another.” (Cyprian, Letter 66 (69), 8 to Florentius Pupianus, c. AD 254)

the ‘voice’ that I feel is telling me that I’m going to hell if I don’t become Orthodox, feels a lot like God’s voice (but not loving/merciful)… however, I had a similar ‘voice’ try to tell me in the past that I’ve committed the unforgiveable sin, when I hadn’t, so I don’t really trust such voices. Also, last time I received the Eucharist, it went away (but since then I havne’t had the opportunity to go to Confession so I haven’t had Communion in 2 weeks, sadly). But for all I know, it could be God! I really want to be sure that I’m not on the wrong road… So I’ll be doing the novena, and I’d really appreciate any prayers as well 🙂 thanks!!!
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Don’t be too harsh on yourself. You are a child of God. I’ll pray for you. But…and i know I am no one to speak to you about what goes on in your battle, your story, but…if you believe what the Catholic Church teaches, then clearly this voice is the voice of Satan, right? It really shouldn’t be that hard:blush:…I mean, not to trivialize your suffering, but if he came to me and said such things I would probably swing at him. But since you converted from EO, it seems he’s trying to use that against you. It would make no sense that the same voice that lied once would suddenly be the voice of God in this other situation. Maybe he simply wants to get you into an EO Church so that the feelings of familiarity will sink in and he can draw you away from the Catholic Church.

Also…and again, your story, but since we are one Church we do have to look out for each other, but have you tried praying to St. Michael when you hear this voice?

And finally, and this is something i’ve noticed from some of your other posts, but you seem to have really relied on this consolations you have received in the past. Maybe God is trying to teach you not to rely so much on the consolations He sends you. Remember, do not love the consolations so much as you should love the Source of those consolations.

Don’t worry, these sufferings will bring you on the path to holiness. God knows what he is doing. Don’t think He is abandoning you.
 
PS. If I were you, I wouldn’t visit the EO Church. Your decisions are not being made out of a clear and inquisitive mind, but out of fear, pain and misery, exactly what the Devil usually works with. Stay away for now and visit your Church. Set up an appointment for confession and remember that being tempted is not a sin. Receive the Eucharist. God will not abandon you, for you are his daughter. 🙂

PPS. You seem to need to develop your skill at “discerning the Spirit”, look it up. I believe you have a spiritual adviser so you should be ok. Just mention it to him. I also suggest looking at the works of St. Ignatius of Layola, specifically “Spiritual Exercises”. Of course, I too need to do this too.😊
 
I will pray for your path to be made clear to you. I suggest talking to your priest and asking him to connect you with somebody who could be your “spritual mentor”. Good luck- twk
 
thank you everyone 🙂

I’m having a really difficult time letting go of this because of all the fear and uncertainty… I’m afraid this is from God so I don’t want to reject it… at the same time, there are things about it that suggest that it might not be from Him… I’ll try to find a good priest to talk to 🙂
 
Holy Trinity, give this child of God the comfort of knowing she is fulfilling your will by following you in the true faith.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
 
Lord, please let Monica know that you wouldn’t ask her to leave the Catholic Church, and you wouldn’t speak harsh with her. You are love, truth and gentle goodness…not hatred, lies, and mean harshness. Amen.
 
Relax Monica, doubt is normal. In a very simple explanation, you may be just missing what you had in the EO church. With anything it’s tough to say “I can’t go back”.

Face what you’re feeling and ask yourself what you miss about it.

Sometimes you have to look the devil in the eye to get him to stare at the floor…

B
 
Thanks everyone,

I’m still really struggling right now 😦 I’m constantly filled with a lot of fear and anxiety about going to hell… this “call” to being Orthodox seems to be entirely in my mind, not really in my heart, but whenever I turn away from it, I feel so much anxiety. But when I accept it, I find myself unable to fully accept it, or with any certainty about my decision, because in my heart I don’t feel I need to be Orthodox. So I endlessly go back and forth, and I don’t seem able to let go of this… I was very happy being Catholic until these strange experiences started happening, - I would feel like something is speaking to my mind, very strongly, and telling me to be Orthodox, or I’d go to hell, etc… Initially I dismissed it and didn’t think it’s God because it was so unmerciful, and I had a difficult time even thinking of God’s mercy when the ‘voice’ was speaking. But it continued for so long and then I got confused, and now there are many times I think it might be from God. I dont know how to go on or what to do 😦 I don’t seem to have any certainty about either option…Catholic or Orthodox… I had many experiences with that ‘voice’ and it ‘showed’ me that the Pope separated from the other bishops, etc, - and it was all very vivid… this is either God or a demon, I think! If it’s God, and I ignore Him, this would send me to hell… if it’s a demon, and I do what it says, that would be a huge mistake… I have no idea what to think so I’m stuck in the middle

When I became Catholic, I made that decision because whenever I’d read about Catholicism, I felt such amazing peace and joy. I was so sure it’s the truth, and after all these experiences, I don’t know what to think 😦 I know that we should rely on faith, not on spiritual experiences or feelings, but this has really affected my faith. How do I know if it’s from God or not? (especially the warning about hell…)

when I said ‘yes’ to being Catholic, I felt so much joy, even though there was a lot of human fear (what would people think, etc). When I say ‘yes’ to being Orthodox, the anxiety etc goes away, but I feel nothing… no peace, no joy, no certainty, no faith, and I can’t get to God… eventually the decision goes away and I’m Catholic again, but then the fear returns.

I wish I had an opportunity to receive the Eucharist, but I haven’t been able to go to Confession so I haven’t had Communion in 2 weeks. I feel so weak spiritually and most of the time I feel afraid that I’m in separation from God. I know from this post it seems pretty obvious that this isn’t from God, but I keep thinking, what if I’m just not ready to accept it… what if God is trying to get me to open up, and that’s why He used fear, etc, to get me to consider this idea… I dont know 😦 There are many things I like about the Orthodox Church, but nothing that I can’t find in the Eastern Catholic Church… there are also many things I really like about Latin rite Catholicism… when i think of God’s will, I’m not sure what it is

I’d really appreciate prayers for God’s guidance and that He would give me light on what I need to do
 
Praying for you Monica and praying for unity between both churches …
 
thank you 🙂

I’ve realized that one of my temptations is to constantly think and worry about this. Thinking about it and trying to figure it out and make a decision NOW, only causes more confusion. I think I’m just going to wait on God for the answer and not think about it much until He shows me the answer… and this way I’ll be giving HIm a chance to work in my soul, rather than constantly worrying. I’ll also try to be open to His will, and trust Him. If all this is a temptation, I can see how it go to this stage - I’ve been thinking about it non stop!

I’ve noticed when God gives us an answer about something, He sometimes points us to it, and if we say ‘yes’, He brings us the rest of the way… with this, whenever I’ve said ‘yes’ to being Orthodox, I suddenly found myself in a lot of darkness and confusion, and felt far from God. At this point, I have no idea if God will tell me to be Catholic or Orthodox. But I believe when He makes this clear, He will also give me the grace to respond to it, and there will be peace, and no confusion.

Please keep praying for me 🙂
God bless!!
 
Dear Monica,

You have received some excellent advice from the people who have posted on here. The only thing I would add is that God doesn’t make us afraid,…ever. That isn’t how He works. Fear comes only from the enemy of souls! Yes, God can speak to you and let you know whether or not you are in His will,…but when He does that He convicts us with an even stronger faith to move in the direction He is wanting us to go, but,…He doesn’t scare us to death!!***

So when that voice speaks to you,…if you feel fear, turn away and don’t listen any longer, because that isn’t God!

Remember when Peter tried to change the Lords mind and Jesus turned to Him and said,…“Get behind me satan!” Use Jesus’ words,…satan has to leave! Many times if I have been under an attack like that I will also say the Jesus Prayer as it is so easy and so faithfilled that in no time my heart is at peace.

My way of saying the Jesus Prayer is; “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”

However, the Jesus Prayer can be as simple as “Lord Jesus, have mercy.” Use what works for you!

Mark 8:33
But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

Matt. 16:23
But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.
 
Yes, God can speak to you and let you know whether or not you are in His will,…but when He does that He convicts us with an even stronger faith to move in the direction He is wanting us to go, but,…He doesn’t scare us to death!!
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that is very true 🙂 I think it’s strange that during those experiences, I was not given the ability to move in that direction… I was told I’m on the wrong path, but I couldn’t get on the right path, I ended up feeling paralyzed by fear. It could be that I’m not ready, or it could be that this is simply not from God. Hopefully I’ll know someday! Even when I said ‘yes’ to what I was being told to do (and btw, the ‘voice’ was very loud, and was in my mind, not in my soul and didn’t produce graces) - I found myself unable to believe in the Orthodox Church in my heart, - even when I really tried. Afterwards, I always found myself in a lot of darkness and couldn’t even imagine that God is merciful… and when I accepted His mercy again, I once again found I was Catholic.

I feel right now that God is doing something in my soul, but I have no idea what it is. I’ve read in a book on spirituality (“Fire Within” by Fr Dubay) that sometimes God works in us in such a way that we do not perceive it, but we can tell that something is happening to us spiritually. That’s how I feel right now… I feel He is giving me grace, but I can’t perceive it or understand what it is with my mind. I do feel peace though. 🙂 I think what I’ll do is I’ll just turn my mind to other things, let God bring me to His truth, and just wait. Once I’m ready, I’ll know what to do and what church to be in.

I feel like there’s something separating me from God, and my mind is telling me that’s because I need to be Orthodox, but it could also be that I just need a good Confession, or that I need to trust Him… I feel that the reason is still hidden from me. Even with the idea about being Orthodox, I don’t have any certainty about it.

I’ll just keep waiting…
 
Hey Monica,

Stop fretting and just let yourself rest in the Lord. You are the one that is allowing this unrest in your mind because you refuse to let it rest! One of the posts above suggested that you say the Rosary. Do you pray the rosary? Its a beautiful prayer with the meditative qualities that enable you to just get lost in it!

I love the Rosary but I also love the Jesus Prayer because it has been what helped me to get through great difficulties. The point of either prayer is to lose yourself in God. STOP THINKING!! The fact of the matter is that our minds must think, so to get something out of our mind, replace it with a simple prayer. The two things cannot exist in the same place. HOWEVER,…it will only work if you try it! Reading it is Not enough!*
I don’t know how to say this any clearer, but you are not going to be able to think yourself through this! You know this and yet you keep up a constant inner dialogue with the devil. STOP!

God is not expecting you to come up with a dissertation on which Church is true. He is wanting you to walk in His will each day, one day at a time,…PERIOD! It’s really as easy as that. You don’t have to think about itl You can’t do it! If you walk each day in His will then you have no worries because He has you in the palm of His hand!!

TRY THESE THINGS, reading about them and worrying over them doesn’t count!!

Blessings!
DesertSister62
 
Monica4316 said:
Hi,

I’m struggling with something and I’m going to try and seek some help, but I’d really appreciate prayers.

For the last little while, I’ve been having these horrible experiences where I feel completely certain that I’ll go to hell because I left the Orthodox Church and became Catholic. (even though I completely believe in the Catholic Church). In the beginning, when I’d turn to God, He comforted me… but now, it’s so difficult for me to figure out if it’s God who’s telling me these things, or not. It feels like an internal voice saying it to me. Because of this, I’ve been going through a lot of fear, and I’m not sure if God wants me to be Orthodox or Catholic. I don’t know what to believe, or even who God is anymore 😦 at one point, I almost lost my faith, and it was difficult to learn to trust God again. Sometimes I feel so strongly I should be Orthodox, but these experiences aren’t like anything I’ve had from God before, - they’re very harsh and don’t produce any lasting peace or joy, and in the end I either despair of God’s mercy (even if I say yes to converting) or the whole thing fades and I’m Catholic again.

I’ve been waking up in fear every morning and I don’t know what to do…

I’m going to try and do a novena (for the truth), perhaps visit an Orthodox church, but mostly I want to just receive the Eucharist…

but I’d really appreciate any prayers cause at this point, I just want to know the truth 😦 I can’t live with this fear anymore, I want to know that I’m following God’s will. I have no idea what His will is at the moment.

Thank you!!
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Believe me when I tell you that God wants you to be Catholic. The Orthodox Church is a great church, it really is. However, they do not have the papacy and therefore it is flawed.

I think a novena for the truth would be a good idea. 🙂

You might also wish to pray for the gift of discernment. 👍

I will be praying for you! :crossrc:
 
Fear of Hell is the leash that manipulative men use to shackle decent men to their yoke. You are allowing these men to pull you around by a leash on the chimpanzee part of your brain.

On a purely theological basis, it’s also absurd. The Orthodox Church and Catholic Church are “pretty cool” in each others eyes, to use a technical apologetics term… Neither church would say you’re going to Hell for belonging to the other. They may say you’re a little lost, and you might get a smaller rum ration in purgatory, but that’s about the extent of it.

I can think of no better affirmation than the famous Bene Gesserit bit:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
 
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