Fear of hell on another level

[allison93]

I am 22 years old and a practicing catholic. I just got into the faith a few years ago so I started going to church every sunday. I stopped smoking weed. Still a virgin and what not. On the outside it looks as Im a good catholic girl but on the inside i struggle so much with sin. I have been struggling with masturbating so much and its the same sin i always fall back into. I get its a sin but I don’t understand why. Im 22 saving myself and honestly my hormones are raging. Im so scared of hell. It takes over. I feel like I could never have fun. Im living my life in a bubble. Ive been to Christian churches and its so happy there and their idea of a God is so loving. My idea of God is not that way. Im scared of him more than i feel like he is loving and if feel bad for feeling that way. What do i do? I’m sick of living my life in a bubble. Literally everything is a sin like i can’t even enjoy my life anymore…I hate to say this but I’m jealous of people who get to have sex, party, do what they want. I really need words of encouragement and prayers

 

[Traveller83]

Hi Allison. I know what you’re going through. Especially when people around you don’t have the same believes as you do… It makes you feel like an outsider. But remember… In the end Everything you try to do good makes God happy. If you commit sin… You don’t have to be afraid of hell when God sees you’re sorry and you confess and repend them. I’m 32 years, still not married, and my hormones can also rage (yes, even at this age). Keep up the good work, God will love you always

 

[Spritus1]

Hi. I understand where you are at. All the things that look like fun seem to be sins. It’s a bit like all the tasty delicious foods like chips, burgers, pizza, cream cakes are bad for you.

Here’s the thing. Sin looks like fun. And sinners look like they are having fun while they are sinning. But this is an illusion. Ask yourself; are all those people having casual sex, night after night with different partners, often using drugs and alcohol, really satisfied, really filled with deep and lasting peace and joy?

Or are they rather running around like headless chickens, indulging every base passion and lust, looking for love in all the wrong places, left feeling unsatisfied, disappointed, desperate and jaded? Burnt out and cynical by 30. How sad. Even these people will tell you that no amount of sex, drugs or alcohol can fill that deep emptiness, that “God shaped hole”. Don’t just take my word for it; the Bible tells us not to envy the evil doers. Sin is seductive, it tantalises, teases and glitters. But it is a lie. It is poisonous and deadly. It cuts us off from God. It breaks our bond of friendship with God. It pushes God away and out of our lives, telling God we prefer sin over Him. Eventually we kill the life of God in us. And we would die in that state if God were not to come to our rescue. Sin Kills.

As for fear of God. RELAX. God is a God of LOVE and MERCY. It is good to have a level of fear, a healthy filial fear, not a servile fear. We should fear to hurt or let down or offend God because He is so good. What has God ever done to us that we offend Him so readily?
Our sins crucified God. Do we really want to re-crucify him?

Take a look at St Faustina and Divine Mercy. Jesus is LOVE. He is gentle, tender and is very slow to anger.

As for sins of impurity; each time you fall go to confession asap i.e. within a day or so. Do not leave it. Increase mass attendance and adoration. You will see that avoiding sins of impurity becomes easier.

God Bless.

 

[on_the_hill]

I am 22 years old and a practicing catholic. I just got into the faith a few years ago so I started going to church every sunday. I stopped smoking weed. Still a virgin and what not. On the outside it looks as Im a good catholic girl but on the inside i struggle so much with sin. I have been struggling with masturbating so much and its the same sin i always fall back into. I get its a sin but I don’t understand why. Im 22 saving myself and honestly my hormones are raging. Im so scared of hell. It takes over. I feel like I could never have fun. Im living my life in a bubble. Ive been to Christian churches and its so happy there and their idea of a God is so loving. My idea of God is not that way. Im scared of him more than i feel like he is loving and if feel bad for feeling that way. What do i do? I’m sick of living my life in a bubble. Literally everything is a sin like i can’t even enjoy my life anymore…I hate to say this but I’m jealous of people who get to have sex, party, do what they want. I really need words of encouragement and prayers

The Catholic Church isn’t any less happy than the others you’ve been to. Maybe I ought not say this, but maybe if you experienced Catholicism at a different parish you’d have a different perspective? Our parish is very much about God loving us. Maybe if you find young adults at your parish you can find kindred spirits and have a network of support?

And the other thing is, a couple people on CAF can be fairly strident in how they express their interpretations of sin, eternal condemnation, etc. Don’t be led into fear by those perspectives.

 

[ejp123]

I am 22 years old and a practicing catholic. I just got into the faith a few years ago so I started going to church every sunday. I stopped smoking weed. Still a virgin and what not. On the outside it looks as Im a good catholic girl but on the inside i struggle so much with sin. I have been struggling with masturbating so much and its the same sin i always fall back into. I get its a sin but I don’t understand why. Im 22 saving myself and honestly my hormones are raging. Im so scared of hell. It takes over. I feel like I could never have fun. Im living my life in a bubble. Ive been to Christian churches and its so happy there and their idea of a God is so loving. My idea of God is not that way. Im scared of him more than i feel like he is loving and if feel bad for feeling that way. What do i do? I’m sick of living my life in a bubble. Literally everything is a sin like i can’t even enjoy my life anymore…I hate to say this but I’m jealous of people who get to have sex, party, do what they want. I really need words of encouragement and prayers

Check out the saints…they suffered just as you do…Saint Augustine for example, who is one of the doctors of the church had tremendous difficulties with sexual behavior. You are not alone and you are in good company with the saints.

We tend to think the saints were perfect but they are not. They struggled and sinned just as we do but they give us hope in that they show us that it is possible to live a good virtuous life despite our sin. However, it doesn’t mean you won’t struggle with temptation and you will fall from time to time. God is love and all about mercy.

It is not uncommon to have a monster god image in our mind. It is part of our fallen nature. But we can correct it through prayer, study and time. TRUST AND TRUST SOME MORE. Do not trust a monster god image…God will not lead you with fear…Jesus said .“DO NO BE AFRAID” “The heart of lord is mercy”. What helped me was watching an old classic called Jesus of Nazareth. Very dramatic presentation of the gospel in movie form, but it was helpful.

Also be careful of something call “scrupulosity”. It is an obsessive fear of sin. St Teresa of Avila also suffered from it.

 

[pwlj_christ87]

first of all my friend i commend you for taking the initiative to being a catholic, i was like you as well not long ago and struggled with the same sorts of things your feeling now,

i like helping people like you and i want to do a good job, firstly, something prompted you to start practicing, to start taking the eucharist, that is someething, its not every person that just says to him or herself , im going to start entering a dark sometimes dusty wooden church and drink God’s blood or eat God’s flesh.

I was like you too, I smoked weed for a very long time, i was a bad person, i listened to bad music, i became a worm, i became like everybody else, i tried so hard to be cool and the only thing i did was become a lowlife. Who else is there to turn to but God?

I wanted to be pure again, i wanted to gain myself back, i had that call from God, as im sure you have too, to come back to the Church. In today’s time, the church is looked down upon so much and im sure thats whats making you feel like you envy others because their “loose” or “living wild”.

Do you want to be like them and try cocaine or do hard drugs? sleep with people abuse your body… at the end of the day in each time we watch or masturbate, we feel disgusted, and bad for the people who did it, theres no love involved in that,

dont walk around and say that is sin this is sin etc etc… laugh at the sin! be thankful God has pointed these things out for you, said look, son, dont touch these things, dont do that. Im sure if you really look hard at sin, and the commandments, that youll recognize that they arent good.

In the short time that ive converted back to being a practicing catholic ive lost tons of friends, but these are now people i can walk by on the street sometimes and say i dont want anything to do with you, ive been lonely, but ive used that time to relax to enjoy doing things i wouldnt be able to do, and ive made more meaning ful relationships both with God and others…

 

[pwlj_christ87]

when you decide to turn to God, your going to have a journey unfold before your eyes… as for your sin, dont beat yourself up, god doesnt want you to masturbate not to take away your fun but so you can go out meet a girl and do it in real life, dont spend your days in a dark room doing it over and over, trust me i am one to talk,

i wish you luck my friend, heaven is for real, so is jesus

 

[Trident_H]

I am 22 years old and a practicing catholic. I just got into the faith a few years ago so I started going to church every sunday. I stopped smoking weed. Still a virgin and what not. On the outside it looks as Im a good catholic girl but on the inside i struggle so much with sin. I have been struggling with masturbating so much and its the same sin i always fall back into. I get its a sin but I don’t understand why. Im 22 saving myself and honestly my hormones are raging. Im so scared of hell. It takes over. I feel like I could never have fun. Im living my life in a bubble. Ive been to Christian churches and its so happy there and their idea of a God is so loving. My idea of God is not that way. Im scared of him more than i feel like he is loving and if feel bad for feeling that way. What do i do? I’m sick of living my life in a bubble. Literally everything is a sin like i can’t even enjoy my life anymore…I hate to say this but I’m jealous of people who get to have sex, party, do what they want. I really need words of encouragement and prayers

Hey allison. Yeah. I know where you’re coming from. I know the score there. So it’s a thing about trading fun. And now-living. For a stronger way. For a way that carries you further and deeper. Look. This life we’ve got. It’s not just about coloring on the walls. Sometimes we have to hold back a bit. Sometimes we have to learn how to make our strengths. How to build that power up. And just like any exercise. Just like any health fitness routine. That takes effort. It takes commitment. And it takes will.

I’m not going to insult you by saying it’s easy. I’m not going to make this a simple game of let’s pretend. I’m going to tell you that this is a hard thing. This is a really hard thing. But if you can handle it you’re a star. A real ace. Nothing can hold you back from that point.

But of course if you fail. If you can’t handle that. If you slip up time and time again. Well I guess that just means you’re human. And normal. And like the rest of us. Even like St. Paul who wondered aloud why he’d do the things he shouldn’t instead of the things he should. So thank God there’s confession for that. There’s a way out of being what we are. So that even in being normal. Even in being weak. We can be a star. We can shine as bright as the shiniest saint. Because what we lost in front-end strength. What we couldn’t do with brute single-mindedness. We made up for with humility. And perseverance. And patience. And faith. Faith that there’s a God who loves us in a deep way. In a way that can see past all our faults. That can see us for the person who’s trying. Not the one who’s failing.

So please don’t worry a lot about this. I mean please don’t get yourself scared into a corner. God’s love is simple. It’s open. And it’s real. That’s all you need to know. Follow that and you’ll be safe. Because in loving God you’ll want to confess your sins not because you’re afraid of Him. But because you don’t want to offend Him. Because you want that kind of loving relationship. Where you give back too. Where you give up some of the things you’d like to do now. In favor of a future with Him. In favor of a time when you can fall into His arms and relax forever. Not because of a fear of hell. But because of a longing for heaven.

Peace allison. Please be easy in this. Don’t worry about the failings. Just focus on the trying again. That’s all that matters. Just that you keep trying.

-Trident

 

[Trident_H]

first of all my friend i commend you for taking the initiative to being a catholic, i was like you as well not long ago and struggled with the same sorts of things your feeling now,

i like helping people like you and i want to do a good job, firstly, something prompted you to start practicing, to start taking the eucharist, that is someething, its not every person that just says to him or herself , im going to start entering a dark sometimes dusty wooden church and drink God’s blood or eat God’s flesh.

I was like you too, I smoked weed for a very long time, i was a bad person, i listened to bad music, i became a worm, i became like everybody else, i tried so hard to be cool and the only thing i did was become a lowlife. Who else is there to turn to but God?

I wanted to be pure again, i wanted to gain myself back, i had that call from God, as im sure you have too, to come back to the Church. In today’s time, the church is looked down upon so much and im sure thats whats making you feel like you envy others because their “loose” or “living wild”.

Do you want to be like them and try cocaine or do hard drugs? sleep with people abuse your body… at the end of the day in each time we watch or masturbate, we feel disgusted, and bad for the people who did it, theres no love involved in that,

dont walk around and say that is sin this is sin etc etc… laugh at the sin! be thankful God has pointed these things out for you, said look, son, dont touch these things, dont do that. Im sure if you really look hard at sin, and the commandments, that youll recognize that they arent good.

In the short time that ive converted back to being a practicing catholic ive lost tons of friends, but these are now people i can walk by on the street sometimes and say i dont want anything to do with you, ive been lonely, but ive used that time to relax to enjoy doing things i wouldnt be able to do, and ive made more meaning ful relationships both with God and others…

Yeah man. Well said. Like that.

 

[pwlj_christ87]

the longer you stay away from impurity, the more you may notice that people start liking you, the more you take the eucharist, the more your body and soul is strengthened… wouldnt you prefer to stay in that amazing powerful undestructible holy state and rather gain a smile from a women than be a dark lowlife with no values who abuses women? the choice is so clear, keep good spirit my friend your in the eright place keep posting

 

[Rbaker]

Pretty much agree with the above replies. I am 18 so I sort of know where you are coming from. Some of the people I know at school always talk about how much fun it is to get drunk, gamble, and have sex, but eventually they get hurt by someone and then wonder why.

Personally, I sometimes wish that I could party and do some of the same things they do, but most of the time I would much rather just hang out with family. I am pretty lucky to have siblings and cousins that are around the same age as I am who share similar beliefs.

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.

 

[Rbaker]

Check out the saints…they suffered just as you do…Saint Augustine for example, who is one of the doctors of the church had tremendous difficulties with sexual behavior. You are not alone and you are in good company with the saints.

We tend to think the saints were perfect but they are not. They struggled and sinned just as we do but they give us hope in that they show us that it is possible to live a good virtuous life despite our sin. However, it doesn’t mean you won’t struggle with temptation and you will fall from time to time. God is love and all about mercy.

It is not uncommon to have a monster god image in our mind. It is part of our fallen nature. But we can correct it through prayer, study and time. TRUST AND TRUST SOME MORE. Do not trust a monster god image…God will not lead you with fear…Jesus said .“DO NO BE AFRAID” “The heart of lord is mercy”. What helped me was watching an old classic called Jesus of Nazareth. Very dramatic presentation of the gospel in movie form, but it was helpful.

Also be careful of something call “scrupulosity”. It is an obsessive fear of sin. St Teresa of Avila also suffered from it.

This is a great point as well. In one of Mother Angelica’s books, she explained how upset she was that we often depict saints as these sinless humans who never made mistakes. The saints had struggles as well, that is why there is hope that we may all become saints one day

 

[Latias]

I am 22 years old and a practicing catholic. I just got into the faith a few years ago so I started going to church every sunday. I stopped smoking weed. Still a virgin and what not. On the outside it looks as Im a good catholic girl but on the inside i struggle so much with sin. I have been struggling with masturbating so much and its the same sin i always fall back into. I get its a sin but I don’t understand why. Im 22 saving myself and honestly my hormones are raging. Im so scared of hell. It takes over. I feel like I could never have fun. Im living my life in a bubble. Ive been to Christian churches and its so happy there and their idea of a God is so loving. My idea of God is not that way. Im scared of him more than i feel like he is loving and if feel bad for feeling that way. What do i do? I’m sick of living my life in a bubble. Literally everything is a sin like i can’t even enjoy my life anymore…I hate to say this but I’m jealous of people who get to have sex, party, do what they want. I really need words of encouragement and prayers

I would agree with On_the_Hill. This is a question you should ask yourself: what contributed to your perception of God and reprobation. Is it your fellow Catholic peers, religious teachers, or clergy that have affected your perception of God? I heard something from a fairly conservative Catholic priest who emphasizes mortal sin (I suppose this emphasis because he believes he is obliged to convey the rather unpalatable aspects of the Gospel), who said something that not confessing an instance of mortal sin would lead to damnation (which I interpreted that if one withheld it due to timidity or shame or other forms of human frailty, one would still be damned). My faith became vitiated when I ruminated the implications of that remark, and I became quizzical on how one could regard God as benevolent, loving, and forgiven, or how one can find solace in such a God. Moreover, this quote from my favorite philosopher resonated with me:

And so will all religion, said Philo, except the philosophical and rational kind. Your reasonings are more easily eluded than my facts. The inference is not just, because finite and temporary rewards and punishments have so great influence, that therefore such as are infinite and eternal must have so much greater. Consider, I beseech you, the attachment which we have to present things, and the little concern which we discover for objects so remote and uncertain. When divines [religious clergy] are declaiming against the common behaviour and conduct of the world, they always represent this principle as the strongest imaginable (which indeed it is); and describe almost all human kind as lying under the influence of it, and sunk into the deepest lethargy and unconcern about their religious interests. Yet these same divines, when they refute their speculative antagonists, suppose the motives of religion to be so powerful, that, without them, it were impossible for civil society to subsist; nor are they ashamed of so palpable a contradiction.** It is certain, from experience, that the smallest grain of natural honesty and benevolence has more effect on men’s conduct, than the most pompous views suggested by theological theories and systems.** A man’s natural inclination works incessantly upon him; it is for ever present to the mind, and mingles itself with every view and consideration: whereas religious motives, where they act at all, operate only by starts and bounds; and it is scarcely possible for them to become altogether habitual to the mind. The force of the greatest gravity, say the philosophers, is infinitely small, in comparison of that of the least impulse: yet it is certain, that the smallest gravity will, in the end, prevail above a great impulse; because no strokes or blows can be repeated with such constancy as attraction and gravitation.

Emphasis mine.

This excerpt made me the utility of religiously inspired morality in contrast to this philosopher’s suggestion that morality is primarily influenced by one sentiments and feelings that are not always rational. I tend to assent with the philosopher’s perspective that the phenomenon of human morality and behavior can largely be explained naturally through the almost universal sentiments of sympathy and benevolence, as opposed to adherence to religious orthodoxy, which does not seem to positively affect human conduct. Using the faculties of sympathy and benevolence, one would act in a matter that would consider the potential consequences of one’s actions on how it affects others, and one would modify those actions in a way that it does not inflict grievous harm on other parties; also, when one encounters those who have experienced suffering, one would become slightly distressed, and this sympathy may serve as an impetus to ameliorate the conditions of the affected people.

 

[Latias]

As a consequence, I deemed the aforementioned natural sentiments as more influential and valuable to human conduct, which actually forms the edifice of human morality, as opposed to divine ukases, religious proscriptions on behavior (especially on condemning the most trivial and inconsequential human indiscretion), and the fear of eternal damnation. Even before I heard that remark, I had doubts whether I had the grace or disposition to be a witness for Christ, but it would seem that God’s grace and forgiveness would be difficult for me attain. Moreover, I regarded religiously inspired morality more negatively since it seems to nurture hypocrisy, sanctimoniousness, and self-righteousness among many of its devotees due to its insistence on adherence to religious doctrine and specific moral code that would differentiate the adherents from those who do not hold such beliefs or engage in their practices. This sectarian division would serve to reinforce the perception among the adherents their belief system is epistemologically superior with better access to the “truth” and that they are fundamentally morally superior people due to their affiliation with the sect (which is quite easy to foster this perception if the sect has concretely delineated guidelines for conduct that distinguishes them from secular society that is outside the sect). Also, such religious morality is often not conducive for encouraging social or technological progress as it focuses on preserving the prevailing the social order, while it is often complacent in the presence of systemic injustice. The motifs of natural benevolence and sympathy often contrasted unfavorable with religious morality in my mind as I see it as primarily a sociological phenomenon.

Being inspired by the aforementioned insight provided by the character of Philo, I would ask what is the value of a religious creed that proclaims itself to possess “the truth”, if it does not augment one’s capacity for sympathy, empathy, or benevolence. As a practical suggestion, perhaps you could find a fellow Catholic that would sympathize with your plight (as I truly believe the power of sympathy as opposed to dogmatic certitude).

As for myself, I am still in a state were I believe my contrition would not suffice, and I harbor some bitterness towards the Church (relating to a different issue), but going to All Saints Day Mass (as I did not go to Mass in months) warmed me up and made me somewhat more receptive to God’s grace. However, I still have many questions and doubts about what it means to be a saint. If you get the impression either from a priest or a parish that your sincere contrition is insufficient and does not give you enough consolation to assuage one’s fears of reprobation, you should retreat instead of potentially risking the encirclement of despair and suffering a similar fate to Paulus’ Sixth Army outside of Stalingrad. It is hard to live one’s live with such a fear.

 

[littlestsouls2]

“Most souls are anxious above all to go to Heaven and to escape Hell. I wish My Spouses to be less anxious about going to Heaven than about occupying there the place I have prepared for them: that is to say, to correspond in every way to My desires.”

• Jesus to Sr. Mary of the Holy Trinity)

Decalogue of Confidence (Dictated by Our Lord to Servant of God Sr. Benigna Consolata Ferrero, September 11, 1915)

1. I have a God who is all mine.
2. This God, all mine, is my Father.
3. This God, all mine, wishes that I should be all His forever.
4. This God of love came down from Heaven to earth on purpose to seek me.
5. This God of love asks me for my heart.
6. This God of love wishes to be to me a brother, friend and consoler.
7. This God of love carries His tenderness so far as to wish to be my physician, my medicine, and more than all, my spouse.
8. This God of love wishes to be despoiled of His gifts, as a tree is stripped of its fruits, which in no wise complains, but rather produces more fruit. The tree must wait another year, but I produce fruit at once.
9. This God of love seeks only miseries to consume, imperfections to destroy, weak wills to fortify, and good resolutions to strengthen.
10. This God of love goes in search of those whom the world despises, abhors and abandons, that is, of poor sinners; and after having converted them through the delicacies of His charity and the attractions of His mercy, if He meets with the correspondence He seeks, He makes them masterpieces of holiness.