Hi all,
Thank you again for your responses. I am traveling and am unable to respond in-depth quite yet. I will when I get an opportunity…but that may not be until well into next week.
I am having issues with Catholic doctrine beyond just this one. I will elaborate in a future post. I was raised Catholic and wanted to be a priest for years…but about 10 years ago I began to have problems. Since then, I have had a back-and-forth struggle, and I think my Eucharist fear is just the latest manifestation of that. A number of people I talk to feel I should investigate other branches of Christianity…but I am unsure.
Again, thank you all, and I will be reading these posts if not yet responding in detail.
Do carefully research the origins of Catholicism, if you are thinking of looking into other branches of Christianity, and research the origins of those churches too. Back at the very dawn of Christianity, St. Ignatius, around 90 AD, proclaimed the existence of one Holy Catholic Church. Jesus declared that He meant His Church to be one, and they were. There was no big period of breaking after He created one Church with a definite hierarchy (the apostles and their successors), at which point it changed. Indeed, He promised there would not be, telling Peter that the gates of Hell would not prevail against His Church. So we can be sure that we are still in the Church that Christ made; we have His word for it and historical evidence to prove it: the continuity of Church hierarchy, organization, doctrine and Tradition from its origin to its present.
The other branches of Christianity that exist mostly date to around the 16th century, when new leaders invented their own theologies and broke off, but took with them (more or less- many traditions decanonized seven books) the Bible the Catholic Church had put together through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Which of those would you pick? There are over 30,000 denominations, and millions of non-denominationals who all have their own private theologies worked out. It’s a do-your-own-thing theological set up, trusting on your private interpretation of your reading of the Bible and feeling of what the Spirit is telling you. That is dangerous, because it relies on one’s own intellect and humans are completely fallible. The Holy Spirit who inspires the Holy Catholic Church, on the other hand, is not, and Jesus promised that He would fill His Church, granting it infallibility, to the end.
There are some older alternative churches to Protestantism, such as the Syrian church, the Coptic church and the Orthodox church, which do have ancient roots and broke off from Catholicism in less grave and complete a manner then did the many branches of Protestantism.
I am a former Protestant myself, and I do have a feel for what’s out there in Protestantism. There is a genuine experience of God in Protestantism, in many places. I experienced it in wonderful ways, as I grew up. However, I cannot emphasize too strongly that this is an incomplete experience of God. The perfection, the joy, the wonder and beauty I experienced upon becoming Catholic and coming to taste for the first time that which you have enjoyed all your life (and so possibly in some ways might take be accustomed to, and so take for granted) is inexpressible. Catholicism is the perfection and completeness of everything good and valuable that there is to find in Protestantism. Jesus said to Peter, “You are the Rock, and upon this Rock I will build my Church.” That is what I have experienced in coming into Catholicism- the presence of a true Rock! Protestantism, and this is also sometimes true in Orthodoxy, the major alternative, is replete with divisions and personal interpretation that reduces all, in the final analysis, to subjectivism where meaning is concerned, rather than hard facts.
There are experiences of the Holy Spirit and of Jesus, and many of them, in Protestantism, but that is an incomplete route. There are the same beauties, only MORE glorious in Catholicism, and more of them, for there is much, very much, that Protestantism lacks. The kind of darkness I had to go through for the Virgin Mary to drag me out of Protestantism to bring me into her Church . . . it was very painful, very dark and dry and bleak. And the reward was light that dazzles my soul, rewarding me on every level of being. I had a great relationship with God in Protestantism, but it was an incomplete one and it is dangerous to tread on that ground, the ground of heresy, because of the openness to error that exists there, and the acceptability of all manner of different views on doctrine. There is no single standard of absolute truth- they claim it’s the Bible, but everyone interprets the Bible with themselves, the self, as the final authority.
It looks to me like you are seeking a deeper spiritual experience with God than you have now. If that is so, I urge you to read some of the books of the Catholic saints and mystics, for they describe in their writings just how to go about gaining this. Or talk to your priest, who may have other suggestions on how to nurture your relationship with God within this overwhelmingly blessed Church of Christ. Research your own Church, the Church that has been here from the very beginning of Christ’s ministry, and seek Christ not by yourself, but under the guidance of a spiritual advisor and through the writings of the saints of the Church, who, being the ones who knew God best, have great advice for people seeking more communion with God.
There is a lot that can be done to nurture a relationship with God in this way. We just need to look in the right places and ask the right people. Protestantism is, I assure you, not a safe place to look. There is godliness there, but also a
lot of subjectivism and error that can and often does lead to grave sins.
Just be wary. This is a time of testing for you, I think, and a time to appeal more than ever to our Blessed Mother for her guidance and help. I really recommend learning more about our faith; the more one does that, the more and more impossible it is to turn to any of the alternatives.
