Fears of New Inquisition 2008

  • Thread starter Thread starter Thing
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

Thing

Guest
Vaticano l’Observiore
Click to expand...
Vatican to initiate new inquisition:
Official sources at the Vatican have today confirmed what had been widely anticipated in Catholic media circles. Cardinal Syngen Smythe, of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith implementation committee, at an international press conference in Rome this morning released plans for the new initiative. “It will be a great boon for the Faith”, the Cardinal said, “we expect to process at least 5000 protestant and non-Catholic Christians per week initially, and to build on that as future systems come online”. He added that new advances particularly in computing and communications have allowed the Vatican ‘supercomputers’ to track up to 85 percent of protestant IP addresses through communications via online forums and communities plus email content. “We now have a rich resource and we feel confident that with local on-the-ground knowledge we can increase the harvest to over 99 percent” said the Cardinal, “we need to stamp this out now, the new inquisition, which will be held in Belgium, will be authorized to use limited torture methods currently in use in many occupied OECD developing countries” he said, “we also expect to look at returning to more traditional sanctions of the Church including public floggings, flayings, strangulation and burnings at the stake”. Cardinal Syngen Smythe reassured the gathered press journalists with an easter blessing. He is expected to arrive in New York on Friday.
Click to expand...
Rooters international.
Rome.
Tues 1 April 2008.
Click to expand...
 
Thing said:
Vaticano l’Observiore

Vatican to initiate new inquisition:
Official sources at the Vatican have today confirmed what had been widely anticipated in Catholic media circles. Cardinal Syngen Smythe, of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith implementation committee, at an international press conference in Rome this morning released plans for the new initiative. “It will be a great boon for the Faith”, the Cardinal said, “we expect to process at least 5000 protestant and non-Catholic Christians per week initially, and to build on that as future systems come online”. He added that new advances particularly in computing and communications have allowed the Vatican ‘supercomputers’ to track up to 85 percent of protestant IP addresses through communications via online forums and communities plus email content. “We now have a rich resource and we feel confident that with local on-the-ground knowledge we can increase the harvest to over 99 percent” said the Cardinal, “we need to stamp this out now, the new inquisition, which will be held in Belgium, will be authorized to use limited torture methods currently in use in many occupied OECD developing countries” he said, “we also expect to look at returning to more traditional sanctions of the Church including public floggings, flayings, strangulation and burnings at the stake”. Cardinal Syngen Smythe reassured the gathered press journalists with an easter blessing. He is expected to arrive in New York on Friday.

Rooters international.
Rome.
Tues 1 April 2008.
Click to expand...
Hi

I googled it , could no find it.
Maybe it is because of 1 April .
It is a joke

Thanks
 
Or maybe that’s what they want you to think…😛 :whacky: :hypno: :rotfl:
 
Cardinal Syngen Smythe? The only Syngen Smythe I ever heard of was the alias James Bond (Roger Moore) went by in his 1985 movie, “A View to A Kill.” Yeah, I’m a James Bond geek…😃

Wow! I can’t believe it’s already April 1st!!
 
come on guys I’ve been over all new posts from yesterday and this is the best we can do for April Fools Day? I expected better from the peeps and the terrorist guinea pig if nowhere else.
 
Alexius said:
Cardinal Syngen Smythe? The only Syngen Smythe I ever heard of was the alias James Bond (Roger Moore) went by in his 1985 movie, “A View to A Kill.” Yeah, I’m a James Bond geek…😃

Wow! I can’t believe it’s already April 1st!!
Click to expand...
That’s what I thought as soon as I heard the good Cardinal’s name. 😃
Is there a Bond Nun in this special feature?
 
It’s good April fool’s joke because there really are people who think the Vatican keeps an enemy database.
 
There’s a Jack Chick tract claiming a super-computer in the bowels of the Vatican has the name of every Protestant in it.

That means the Orthodox have nothing to worry about.

I wonder how many people will catch the fraudulent name of the newspaper: Vaticano l’Observiore. The official Vatican newspaper is L’Osservatore Romano (I hope I spelled it right; my typing is feeble enough in English, much less Italian).
 
I thought the joke running around about the Vatican making James white a cardinal was better
 
What gave it away was ‘1st April 2008’ and

‘rooters’

IT’S REUTERS.

At least do it right.
 
When I read the title I was really hoping the Vatican was going to go after the Cafeteria Catholics. Alas and alack, it’s only a joke. Too bad.

CDL
 
I was going to post an April Fools Day joke that the Anglican Church was rejoining the Catholic Church, except that the Times already printed that as a serious news item a year or 2 back :rolleyes:
Though it did let me wind up my housemate who wants to be an Anglican vicar and is obsessed with getting a wife that he’d have to be celibate;)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top