Fears.

[Mrmawker]

I have made quite a few threads on here about my discernment, and I have just felt a heartsinking feeling like no other. I saw some thread on here about a man who is older having his children seeing him every weekend and I thought, “No one will personally want to see me and spend time with me. I’ll have no children who will love me as their father.” I just think when I am old and my other cousins and such has children who are adults now who probably won’t want to have anything to do with me either. This breaks my heart that no one will mourn my death as family who I really meant something to be around. I don’t want to be on the headstone that no one will ever read. It’s rather depressing for me to experience a loss like this.

 

[karebear92]

I have made quite a few threads on here about my discernment, and I have just felt a heartsinking feeling like no other. I saw some thread on here about a man who is older having his children seeing him every weekend and I thought, “No one will personally want to see me and spend time with me. I’ll have no children who will love me as their father.” I just think when I am old and my other cousins and such has children who are adults now who probably won’t want to have anything to do with me either. This breaks my heart that no one will mourn my death as family who I really meant something to be around. I don’t want to be on the headstone that no one will ever read. It’s rather depressing for me to experience a loss like this.

Are you talking about discerning the priesthood? If so, do you not think your parishioners, deacons, or other religious will care about you? Is being remembered on Earth as important to you as serving God and leading others to Heaven? If you think a family may be in your future then maybe you aren’t quite ready to make the commitment quite yet. There is no need to worry. I looked at a few of your previous posts and it seems you are rather young, so just don’t worry about it quite as much and just continue to discern. I just graduated from high school, and while you are there it seems like so many important decisions are being made, and you are, but none of them are irreversible. If it is God’s will it will happen.

God Bless!

 

[CatholicZ09]

I have made quite a few threads on here about my discernment, and I have just felt a heartsinking feeling like no other. I saw some thread on here about a man who is older having his children seeing him every weekend and I thought, “No one will personally want to see me and spend time with me. I’ll have no children who will love me as their father.” I just think when I am old and my other cousins and such has children who are adults now who probably won’t want to have anything to do with me either. This breaks my heart that no one will mourn my death as family who I really meant something to be around. I don’t want to be on the headstone that no one will ever read. It’s rather depressing for me to experience a loss like this.

If you are discerning priesthood, honestly, people will remember you. Priests are loved so much by their parishioners even after they leave that parish. That is, of course, if you are in a diocesan order.

I can’t thank priests enough because they strengthen my faith in God and lead me closer to Him. What greater thing to do is there than that?

 

[Monica4316]

I have made quite a few threads on here about my discernment, and I have just felt a heartsinking feeling like no other. I saw some thread on here about a man who is older having his children seeing him every weekend and I thought, “No one will personally want to see me and spend time with me. I’ll have no children who will love me as their father.” I just think when I am old and my other cousins and such has children who are adults now who probably won’t want to have anything to do with me either. This breaks my heart that no one will mourn my death as family who I really meant something to be around. I don’t want to be on the headstone that no one will ever read. It’s rather depressing for me to experience a loss like this.

have you discerned a vocation to religious life or priesthood? If you have, - this might be a distraction or temptation for you… just a fear that the enemy is putting into your mind. Religious life is giving yourself fully to God… of course you’d have to give up certain things, but you’d also be closer to Him because you’ll be following His will for you… while the priests don’t have children, they have spiritual children and their mission is to bring others to God - they don’t live to have a family and possessions, but entirely for God. A person needs to be ready for this if they consider religious life… if you don’t feel ready, discuss this with a spiritual director and - read about the Saints and how they lived… remember that a call to religious life is a call to leaving everything for Christ and serving Him fully, - but instead of looking at that as something scary, try to see how beautiful that is and how that is exactly what He said we should do if we wish to be perfect. (He said this to the rich young man in the Bible). Pray that God would give you the joy of wanting to serve Him in the way that He wants.

 

[Monica4316]

If you are discerning priesthood, honestly, people will remember you. Priests are loved so much by their parishioners even after they leave that parish. That is, of course, if you are in a diocesan order.

I can’t thank priests enough because they strengthen my faith in God and lead me closer to Him. What greater thing to do is there than that?

I agree with this…

also, the priest gives us the Body and Blood of Christ and absolves us from sin! it must be incredible being able to do this for others. The priest is a representative of Christ Himself.

to the OP… If you are discerning the priesthood, I recommend that you read what St John Vianney said about it.

Please read this fisheaters.com/holyorders2.html

 

[Mrmawker]

have you discerned a vocation to religious life or priesthood? If you have, - this might be a distraction or temptation for you… just a fear that the enemy is putting into your mind. Religious life is giving yourself fully to God… of course you’d have to give up certain things, but you’d also be closer to Him because you’ll be following His will for you… while the priests don’t have children, they have spiritual children and their mission is to bring others to God - they don’t live to have a family and possessions, but entirely for God. A person needs to be ready for this if they consider religious life… if you don’t feel ready, discuss this with a spiritual director and - read about the Saints and how they lived… remember that a call to religious life is a call to leaving everything for Christ and serving Him fully, - but instead of looking at that as something scary, try to see how beautiful that is and how that is exactly what He said we should do if we wish to be perfect. (He said this to the rich young man in the Bible). Pray that God would give you the joy of wanting to serve Him in the way that He wants.

I am currently discerning. I am not discerning the religious order life, though. I hope to become a diocesan priest.

 

[Mrmawker]

I agree with this…

also, the priest gives us the Body and Blood of Christ and absolves us from sin! it must be incredible being able to do this for others. The priest is a representative of Christ Himself.

to the OP… If you are discerning the priesthood, I recommend that you read what St John Vianney said about it.

Please read this fisheaters.com/holyorders2.html

I read what was in the link. It was nice to read, but I really didn’t understand it. What does it have to do with my discernment?

 

[karebear92]

I read what was in the link. It was nice to read, but I really didn’t understand it. What does it have to do with my discernment?

I think she was getting at the wonderful life of a priest. They are able to do things even the Queen of Heaven and Earth can’t do. That seems like a wonderful life, but only if it is really the life for you. You must decide if you would rather have the wonderful responsibilities of a priest or a family of your own to raise and care for.

God bless!

 

[Mrmawker]

I think she was getting at the wonderful life of a priest. They are able to do things even the Queen of Heaven and Earth can’t do. That seems like a wonderful life, but only if it is really the life for you. You must decide if you would rather have the wonderful responsibilities of a priest or a family of your own to raise and care for.

God bless!

I’m still wondering if God is really calling me or not. I wish he didn’t call in a secret code, so I could be more sure of his message, hehe.

 

[Monica4316]

I read what was in the link. It was nice to read, but I really didn’t understand it. What does it have to do with my discernment?

Karebear92 said it well

 

[karebear92]

I’m still wondering if God is really calling me or not. I wish he didn’t call in a secret code, so I could be more sure of his message, hehe.

You have time. It is not a race. I trust that God will do what is necessary for you to realize if you are called to the religious life. Just give it time. Perhaps you aren’t supposed to know quite yet. Think of your uncertainty as a beautiful gift. It is much better to discern and know you are doing the right thing than to find out in 25 years that you chose wrong.

No worries. Just continue to pray and God will guide you in the right direction.

 

[RevDrNorth]

I have made quite a few threads on here about my discernment, and I have just felt a heartsinking feeling like no other. I saw some thread on here about a man who is older having his children seeing him every weekend and I thought, “No one will personally want to see me and spend time with me. I’ll have no children who will love me as their father.” I just think when I am old and my other cousins and such has children who are adults now who probably won’t want to have anything to do with me either. This breaks my heart that no one will mourn my death as family who I really meant something to be around. I don’t want to be on the headstone that no one will ever read. It’s rather depressing for me to experience a loss like this.

People have certainly been offering you some good advice. I am a little concerned as I have not read all of your threads but I did read the one that was closed by moderators as it devolved into a very illogical defense by you for smoking marijuana. When I caught up on the thread I was surprised about how strange it was. Then I noticed every time someone offered some advice to you that you did the “yes but game”. To top it off I noticed your username is Mr. Mawker (Mr. Mocker).

You may not be a troll but you some of the things are coming across rather odd.

If you are serious about the priesthood then this is the place to seek some general advice BUT as some of the members of religious orders have said, it DOES NOT take the place of seeking the advice of a Priest and Spiritual advisor. You are not too young do that. He will help you discern whether you are called to the priesthood, deal with issues with parents (you are no where near the first person in the situation you report having).

As for the what ifs…and death without people to mourn, most priests have a lot of people who love them and mourn. Whereas I have seen families with children where the kids could not be bothered to come to the funeral and were completely detached (cared little). Also, you may marry and neither you nor your wife can have kids OR you divorce and die with no one around either OR you may marry and have a wonderful family. Too many variables. People lose their entire family in accidents (pointless to sit and play the what if game). You need to go where you care called by God (be it marriage/family or Priesthood). Besides that, when you die you are with Christ and what goes on here is of not much relevance. Plus within 100 years you will simply be a name to descendants without much feeling attached to the name. What is significant is what you did while you were here to serve God, to follow the life he had for you and to impact the world in some positive way because you lived. Beyond that your significance is being a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

 

[Mrmawker]

People have certainly been offering you some good advice. I am a little concerned as I have not read all of your threads but I did read the one that was closed by moderators as it devolved into a very illogical defense by you for smoking marijuana. When I caught up on the thread I was surprised about how strange it was. Then I noticed every time someone offered some advice to you that you did the “yes but game”. To top it off I noticed your username is Mr. Mawker (Mr. Mocker).

You may not be a troll but you some of the things are coming across rather odd.

If you are serious about the priesthood then this is the place to seek some general advice BUT as some of the members of religious orders have said, it DOES NOT take the place of seeking the advice of a Priest and Spiritual advisor. You are not too young do that. He will help you discern whether you are called to the priesthood, deal with issues with parents (you are no where near the first person in the situation you report having).

As for the what ifs…and death without people to mourn, most priests have a lot of people who love them and mourn. Whereas I have seen families with children where the kids could not be bothered to come to the funeral and were completely detached (cared little). Also, you may marry and neither you nor your wife can have kids OR you divorce and die with no one around either OR you may marry and have a wonderful family. Too many variables. People lose their entire family in accidents (pointless to sit and play the what if game). You need to go where you care called by God (be it marriage/family or Priesthood). Besides that, when you die you are with Christ and what goes on here is of not much relevance. Plus within 100 years you will simply be a name to descendants without much feeling attached to the name. What is significant is what you did while you were here to serve God, to follow the life he had for you and to impact the world in some positive way because you lived. Beyond that your significance is being a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

My defenses are my reasonings. I’m not going to discuss it here as I really care about this topic. The Roadblock topic was steered offtrack by my honest questions and sudden demonizations by others. I asked in confidence and ignorance apparently since people really took offense to it, and then they told me I was going to die early because of it and the title of this thread really shows my fear of death or lonesome death, so I took anything they said as a horrible offensiveness to me.

Yes, the advice that I have been wondering about has been very helpful when I needed it. Although, I’m still in fear of going to a vocations director or even contacting him. I’m still wondering if I’m called and I want to be certain, because I don’t want to get my parents caught up in this if this isn’t a serious calling. I’ve come across videos on youtube and saw on the sidebar an advertisement for a school named after a saint and wondered if that could have been a slight hint, but I quickly dismissed that.

Frankly, this death fear has passed if I do say so myself. I know that I will die someday, I just hope I do it painlessly or doing something I love. I am aware that dysfunctional families do exist and that anyone could be a part of one, I guess I’m lucky enough to be in a closely knit family on my mother’s side that spend time together during holidays. I guess seeing that could be taken away if I decide to live as a priest and not being the grandfather that I have. I always love visiting my grandpa since he really means alot to me. He is a Catholic too so I could want nothing more than to be up in Heaven with him. My grandpa holds quite the place in my heart as you can see .

Also, the fear of not existing anymore can also be frightening. I’ve grown up thinking God exists but with all these forums and websites where atheists try to disprove God can add up sometimes and even get me to doubt His existence. I really want him to exist since I want to spend time with the deceased in Heaven that I cared for. The thought of never seeing them again after death kills me inside, so I hope that God contacts me sometime, hehe. I think I am going to ask my grandpa why he goes to church, since hes been going since he was a child I think. He’s currently 89 years old so he has been going for a long time. I wonder if he has any stories about God’s presence in his life. I’m going to ask him when I visit him soon.

 

[CatholicZ09]

Also, the fear of not existing anymore can also be frightening. I’ve grown up thinking God exists but with all these forums and websites where atheists try to disprove God can add up sometimes and even get me to doubt His existence. I really want him to exist since I want to spend time with the deceased in Heaven that I cared for. The thought of never seeing them again after death kills me inside, so I hope that God contacts me sometime, hehe. I think I am going to ask my grandpa why he goes to church, since hes been going since he was a child I think. He’s currently 89 years old so he has been going for a long time. I wonder if he has any stories about God’s presence in his life. I’m going to ask him when I visit him soon.

This sort of fear/doubt is something that the devil loves to use against discerners. The last thing that he wants is you to spend one millisecond thinking about the priesthood. I had this kind of doubt for a few weeks, but then it went away after some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. You really cannot deny Our Lord’s presence after spending some time in adoration with him.

 

[Mrmawker]

This sort of fear/doubt is something that the devil loves to use against discerners. The last thing that he wants is you to spend one millisecond thinking about the priesthood. I had this kind of doubt for a few weeks, but then it went away after some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. You really cannot deny Our Lord’s presence after spending some time in adoration with him.

But how do I do that? Do I just continue praying daily? Also, I have yet to be confirmed. I’m aware that I have to be confirmed to become a priest, so I shall get to that sometime. Are there any ways to get God to start throwing the “idiot-proof” signs at me?

 

[CatholicZ09]

But how do I do that? Do I just continue praying daily? Also, I have yet to be confirmed. I’m aware that I have to be confirmed to become a priest, so I shall get to that sometime. Are there any ways to get God to start throwing the “idiot-proof” signs at me?

Haha. “Idot-proof” signs. That’s what Fr. Brett called them in his book To Save a Thousand Souls. I don’t know if you’ve read it, but you should!

Anyways, daily prayer is ESSENTIAL in discernment. There are no questions about it. The thing that helps the most though is adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. You are really in the presence of Jesus Christ Himself. To what person do you need to talk? Jesus! He’ll move through your heart if you let him.

Here’s a little exercise:

The “What Can I Live Without” Mediation

In the book To Save a Thousand Souls, Fr. Brett was given a discernment exercise by his spiritual director that helped him realize what his call was in life. Now, he was to go in front of the Blessed Sacrament for one hour for two consecutive days. On the first day, he was to imagine life being as a happily married man. The second day he imagined himself being a priest.

Now came the time to discern which one that he could live without. He went through the motions of marriage: dating, wedding day, birth of a child, baseball games with his son, going to get ice cream after the movies, enduring family hardships, etc…

Then he went over what he mediated on with the priesthood. Celebrating Holy Mass every day, hearing Confessions, baptizing infants, distributing Holy Communion, visting the sick and dying. Basically being another Christ for His people.

Fr. Brett came to the conclusion that he could not live without giving people Jesus Christ in the Eucharist and all the other aspects of the priestly life. He could, in fact, live without being married and devoting his life to God.

So, what can you live without?

Now, finally. St. Therese, the Little Flower is a saint who is notorious for sending roses for those who seek her intercession. I have done the novena to her, and I have gotten MANY idiot-proof signs. I pretty much gave in. Here’s the novena: catholicdoors.com/prayers/novenas/p00079.htm

Say this for nine days for your intention.

 

[Mrmawker]

Haha. “Idot-proof” signs. That’s what Fr. Brett called them in his book To Save a Thousand Souls. I don’t know if you’ve read it, but you should!

Anyways, daily prayer is ESSENTIAL in discernment. There are no questions about it. The thing that helps the most though is adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. You are really in the presence of Jesus Christ Himself. To what person do you need to talk? Jesus! He’ll move through your heart if you let him.

Here’s a little exercise:

The “What Can I Live Without” Mediation

In the book To Save a Thousand Souls, Fr. Brett was given a discernment exercise by his spiritual director that helped him realize what his call was in life. Now, he was to go in front of the Blessed Sacrament for one hour for two consecutive days. On the first day, he was to imagine life being as a happily married man. The second day he imagined himself being a priest.

Now came the time to discern which one that he could live without. He went through the motions of marriage: dating, wedding day, birth of a child, baseball games with his son, going to get ice cream after the movies, enduring family hardships, etc…

Then he went over what he mediated on with the priesthood. Celebrating Holy Mass every day, hearing Confessions, baptizing infants, distributing Holy Communion, visting the sick and dying. Basically being another Christ for His people.

Fr. Brett came to the conclusion that he could not live without giving people Jesus Christ in the Eucharist and all the other aspects of the priestly life. He could, in fact, live without being married and devoting his life to God.

So, what can you live without?

Now, finally. St. Therese, the Little Flower is a saint who is notorious for sending roses for those who seek her intercession. I have done the novena to her, and I have gotten MANY idiot-proof signs. I pretty much gave in. Here’s the novena: catholicdoors.com/prayers/novenas/p00079.htm

Say this for nine days for your intention.

Thank you. I am going to do those one hour sessions for two consecutive days and weigh the importance. This intercession will be from a Saint, though. I would prefer God sending me the message of what he wants from me, rather than a Saint. No offense to the Saint, I assure you. I just think God should tell me Himself my purpose. I will try the novena, just because I am curious .

 

[CatholicZ09]

Thank you. I am going to do those one hour sessions for two consecutive days and weigh the importance. This intercession will be from a Saint, though. I would prefer God sending me the message of what he wants from me, rather than a Saint. No offense to the Saint, I assure you. I just think God should tell me Himself my purpose. I will try the novena, just because I am curious .

Well don’t forgot that St. Therese is asking God on your behalf.

I didn’t do the two consecutive days thing, but I did play through both forms of life. I realized, like Fr. Brett, that marriage isn’t the vocations where I’d feel fullest.

 

[Mrmawker]

Well don’t forgot that St. Therese is asking God on your behalf.

I didn’t do the two consecutive days thing, but I did play through both forms of life. I realized, like Fr. Brett, that marriage isn’t the vocations where I’d feel fullest.

Feeling full may not be what God wants, though. He may show how great the priesthood is, but maybe He feels that I don’t deserve the priesthood or that I don’t belong there. I mean, how am I supposed to know what He wants unless he tells me first?

 

[CatholicZ09]

Feeling full may not be what God wants, though. He may show how great the priesthood is, but maybe He feels that I don’t deserve the priesthood or that I don’t belong there. I mean, how am I supposed to know what He wants unless he tells me first?

I don’t think that it’s an “I don’t deserve it” issue. In all honesty, NO ONE deserves it. Sometimes he may not tell you through signs or dreams. Sometimes you just need to listen to the “still, quiet” voice in your heart where He resides. Honestly, what can you see yourself doing in the future? I know this is a little vague, but would you rather watch your baby get baptized or baptize a bunch of babies?