Feel like I am suffering from Sloth

[AugustineFan]

I am really trying to get my life and my family’s life on a better track My wife and I are 33, work a lot and have a 2 ½ year old. I feel tired most of the time, as does my wife. I feel that we have gotten into a routine of Sloth, as it compares to our eating, exercise, and finances. I have put on a few pounds, and want to get back in shape before it is too late. I also want to put into action money saving tips and better lifestyle choices. But, I am more of a big talker than doer. Has anyone had this issue, and how did you overcome it? God Bless all of you.

 

[heart4home]

I am really trying to get my life and my family’s life on a better track My wife and I are 33, work a lot and have a 2 ½ year old. I feel tired most of the time, as does my wife. I feel that we have gotten into a routine of Sloth, as it compares to our eating, exercise, and finances. I have put on a few pounds, and want to get back in shape before it is too late. I also want to put into action money saving tips and better lifestyle choices. But, I am more of a big talker than doer. Has anyone had this issue, and how did you overcome it? God Bless all of you.

It would probably be better to ask if anybody “hasn’t” had this issue at some time or the other.

You are both working a lot. That isn’t sloth.

You are just having trouble balancing the rest of your life to make healthy choices. I don’t know many who don’t have this issue in some way or in some area of their life.

I think small steps are the best way to stick with something. Add in an after dinner walk to a nearby playground to get some exercise and family time all in one. Work up a doable budget together. Don’t make it too complicated as those seldom last or work. Just have a goal and set a time up once a week or so to sit with your wife and see how it’s all going.

I’d also suggest starting a daily prayer time ( assuming you don’t already) with your wife and child. It will be a great routine to get into while your child is still young, that can have very life changing effect. It doesn’t have to be complicated. An act of contrition before bed or a decade of the rosary and, a short story from a Catholic Children’s Bible would be a great way to start.

When you take care of your spiritual health, often the rest can start to fall into place.

 

[monicatholic]

Heart4 had great suggestions. I would offer, every 2 weeks, implement another suggestion. Start today with personal and family prayer. As mentioned, keep it simple.

This is the second time in 3 days that I’m suggesting this on CAF but, do you snore? If you do, consider having a sleep study done. My husband spent his 30s feeling like he could only make it through a work day. Everything else felt like an uphill battle with a sack of rocks tied to his back.

He finally had a sleep study which indicated he needed a c pap. After a year on the c pap, he felt so astonishingly better, he went back to school to study polysomnography ( sleep clinician.)

The American heart assn. has recognized the profound impact obstructed sleep has on the heart. The rest of us anecdotal folks just know what a profound impact obstructed sleep makes in our daily lives. And what a huge difference clean sleep makes.

Ask you’re wife if you snore. As her if your snoring has increased since you gained weight. Studies show that 70% of people who have surgery to clear obstructed sleep STILL need the c pap. And almost all people who lose weight to clear obstructed sleep still need the c pap.

 

[Irishmom2]

I remember you had a thread about getting motivated to get into exercise and working out. Were you ever able to implement that? Lack of exercise really can drag you down and make your feel sluggish. Now that the weather is nice, put your daughter in her stroller and take her for a walk after dinner with your wife. Even a half hour outside in the fresh air walking will make you feel better. And then, once you get started on that, other things will fall into place as well.

 

[AugustineFan]

Heart4 had great suggestions. I would offer, every 2 weeks, implement another suggestion. Start today with personal and family prayer. As mentioned, keep it simple.

This is the second time in 3 days that I’m suggesting this on CAF but, do you snore? If you do, consider having a sleep study done. My husband spent his 30s feeling like he could only make it through a work day. Everything else felt like an uphill battle with a sack of rocks tied to his back.

He finally had a sleep study which indicated he needed a c pap. After a year on the c pap, he felt so astonishingly better, he went back to school to study polysomnography ( sleep clinician.)

The American heart assn. has recognized the profound impact obstructed sleep has on the heart. The rest of us anecdotal folks just know what a profound impact obstructed sleep makes in our daily lives. And what a huge difference clean sleep makes.

Ask you’re wife if you snore. As her if your snoring has increased since you gained weight. Studies show that 70% of people who have surgery to clear obstructed sleep STILL need the c pap. And almost all people who lose weight to clear obstructed sleep still need the c pap.

I do not snore, but sometimes at night I worry and that keeps me up. We do pray with our daughter once she lays in her bed.

 

[AugustineFan]

I remember you had a thread about getting motivated to get into exercise and working out. Were you ever able to implement that? Lack of exercise really can drag you down and make your feel sluggish. Now that the weather is nice, put your daughter in her stroller and take her for a walk after dinner with your wife. Even a half hour outside in the fresh air walking will make you feel better. And then, once you get started on that, other things will fall into place as well.

I am still trying to get myself motivated to get moving. I am a big talker, and than never put what I talk about into action.

 

[Irishmom2]

I do not snore, but sometimes at night I worry and that keeps me up. We do pray with our daughter once she lays in her bed.

I totally understand how worrying can keep you up. Again though, if you get in some exercise, you may be tired enough to fall asleep easier. I remember that you said you felt better when you used to work out, so try and remember how good that felt. And just do it! If you start small, like with the walking, eventually, you will want to step it up to something more.

Another thing you may want to do with your wife is to sit down and make a list of your major goals. Hang it somewhere you will see it every day. Before bed each night, make a smaller list on an index card of what you want to accomplish the next day. Don’t put too many things or make them too difficult. Just small steps. Cross them off as they are completed. But at the end of the day, you will see what you accomplished.

I have many lists I consult during the week.

I get out the circular on Sunday from the store I shop at and plan the weeks menu. Then, I make a shopping list. Stick to it, and no impulse buying. What does this do? It frees your mind from the dreaded “oh, what am I going to make for dinner tonight?” thoughts haunting me. It’s already planned. You might end up switching the order of the meals, but you still know what you are having.

I keep a list of household projects that I want to do. Not huge ones, like redo entire garden in yard. But smaller ones like: Rake leaves out of front flower bed. Trim bush along side fence. Plan annuals for curb garden.(Love making that list! ) Breaking things into smaller, bite size pieces will give you a sense of accomplishment. Same thing in the house. Don’t put clean living room. Write: Dust. Vacuum. Put away toys. It may seem silly to some people to make lists, but for others, it really can help.

 

[AugustineFan]

I totally understand how worrying can keep you up. Again though, if you get in some exercise, you may be tired enough to fall asleep easier. I remember that you said you felt better when you used to work out, so try and remember how good that felt. And just do it! If you start small, like with the walking, eventually, you will want to step it up to something more.

Another thing you may want to do with your wife is to sit down and make a list of your major goals. Hang it somewhere you will see it every day. Before bed each night, make a smaller list on an index card of what you want to accomplish the next day. Don’t put too many things or make them too difficult. Just small steps. Cross them off as they are completed. But at the end of the day, you will see what you accomplished.

I have many lists I consult during the week.

I get out the circular on Sunday from the store I shop at and plan the weeks menu. Then, I make a shopping list. Stick to it, and no impulse buying. What does this do? It frees your mind from the dreaded “oh, what am I going to make for dinner tonight?” thoughts haunting me. It’s already planned. You might end up switching the order of the meals, but you still know what you are having.

I keep a list of household projects that I want to do. Not huge ones, like redo entire garden in yard. But smaller ones like: Rake leaves out of front flower bed. Trim bush along side fence. Plan annuals for curb garden.(Love making that list! ) Breaking things into smaller, bite size pieces will give you a sense of accomplishment. Same thing in the house. Don’t put clean living room. Write: Dust. Vacuum. Put away toys. It may seem silly to some people to make lists, but for others, it really can help.

Thank you so much for your great response. I am a fan of lists, and it helps me accomplish my goals. Do you have any tips on saving money, and what to do for entertainment instead of TV? Just trying to pick your brain.

 

[Irishmom2]

Thank you so much for your great response. I am a fan of lists, and it helps me accomplish my goals. Do you have any tips on saving money, and what to do for entertainment instead of TV? Just trying to pick your brain.

I know this sounds simplistic, but just don’t shop. What I mean is, don’t shop as entertainment. If I go to Wal-mart say, I can always find something I don’t really need, but would like. It seems inexpensive enough, but it all adds up. So I just don’t go there unless it is for something I really need.

I hope that you clip coupons. Not all of them, just for things you really use. And use the store’s bonus card or whatever your favorite store calls it. It really can add up. Our store gives cents off on gasoline! It is a big help.

Do not overlook shopping at goodwill or the like for kids clothes. Honestly, they outgrow them so fast, why pay full price? I know some people feel awkward shopping there (not me!) but really, who will know where you got that cute dress for your daughter unless you tell them? But you may find that you will want to tell them when you get a good deal!

I assume you are looking for things as entertainment that include your daughter… Make it a habit to go to the library with her once a week. It’s free. You can read all you want and not have to buy a book. Libraries often have dvds to check out too. No more buying them. Story hour is your friend. Check out some cookbooks while you are there!

Go to the park and run around with your daughter. Pack a picnic lunch. Even if you are just eating something small, make it special. Bring a blanket, use reusable plastic plates and cups, bring a small fabric tablecloth if you are using a picnic table. My kids always thought it was so special to eat that way.

Have a grown up dinner party. It doesn’t have to be fancy food, but you can set a nice table or have a theme. You don’t need a babysitter as it is at your home. Your daughter will benefit from being around other people and so will you and your wife. My children loved when we had get-togethers with adults only. Other parents loved getting a break from their kids too…

Hope this help kick start some ideas for you.

 

[AugustineFan]

I know this sounds simplistic, but just don’t shop. What I mean is, don’t shop as entertainment. If I go to Wal-mart say, I can always find something I don’t really need, but would like. It seems inexpensive enough, but it all adds up. So I just don’t go there unless it is for something I really need.

I hope that you clip coupons. Not all of them, just for things you really use. And use the store’s bonus card or whatever your favorite store calls it. It really can add up. Our store gives cents off on gasoline! It is a big help.

Do not overlook shopping at goodwill or the like for kids clothes. Honestly, they outgrow them so fast, why pay full price? I know some people feel awkward shopping there (not me!) but really, who will know where you got that cute dress for your daughter unless you tell them? But you may find that you will want to tell them when you get a good deal!

I assume you are looking for things as entertainment that include your daughter… Make it a habit to go to the library with her once a week. It’s free. You can read all you want and not have to buy a book. Libraries often have dvds to check out too. No more buying them. Story hour is your friend. Check out some cookbooks while you are there!

Go to the park and run around with your daughter. Pack a picnic lunch. Even if you are just eating something small, make it special. Bring a blanket, use reusable plastic plates and cups, bring a small fabric tablecloth if you are using a picnic table. My kids always thought it was so special to eat that way.

Have a grown up dinner party. It doesn’t have to be fancy food, but you can set a nice table or have a theme. You don’t need a babysitter as it is at your home. Your daughter will benefit from being around other people and so will you and your wife. My children loved when we had get-togethers with adults only. Other parents loved getting a break from their kids too…

Hope this help kick start some ideas for you.

Great ideas, thank you so much.

 

[Irishmom2]

You are welcome. Now, go make a list!

 

[bscastro]

Everyone had such great advice, so I only offer something that I thought up when describing my son’s efforts to ride a bike without training wheels.

Get back up, don’t give up, and remember that your Father’s always nearby!

God bless,
Bryan

 

[Splagchnizomai]

I feel that we have gotten into a routine of Sloth, as it compares to our eating, exercise, and finances. I have put on a few pounds, and want to get back in shape before it is too late. I also want to put into action money saving tips and better lifestyle choices.

While there have been good suggestions about your situation, it should be noted that this does not appear to be sloth, which is also known as acedia.

What is Acedia

Acedia is a Greek word that names a state of languor or torpor, of unconcern or dissatisfaction with one’s condition or action in the world. In a strong case it can keep one from being able to perform one’s duties. The term acedia was used first used in Christianity by monks and other ascetics who lived solitary lives, and were tempted to become listless and inert, or begin longing to be elsewhere or to do something other than what they were doing. Evagrius numbers acedia as of the eight bad thoughts, and St. Thomas Aquinas (following Gregory the Great) numbers it as one of the seven capital vices (so-called because they are the source of many kinds of sin). Though related to depression, acedia is not considered entirely the same in the monastic and Christian tradition. It is usually seen as naming a fault, which is subject to one’s will, rather than simply a psychological state. Acedia is to spiritual health something like what depression is to mental health.

Signs of Acedia

The signs or symptoms of acedia may be bodily or psychological, and again, pertaining to sadness or to its consequent tedium or languor. Bodily signs range from mere sleepiness to general sickness or debility. It produces feelings of ill health, making a person feel unable to fulfill his duties.

Some psychological signs are a lack of attention to prayer, an overall dissatisfaction with life, and boredom, showing itself in a general laziness or refusal to work or to pray.

There are some things here that may describe what you are going through (and it is good that you are aware of them), but try not to confuse physical fatigue and gaining weight with the very serious spiritual condition of sloth/acedia.

 

[kristacecilia]

You’ve gotten a lot of good advice already.

It took me years to realize that the sort of spiritual progress you are looking for is the work of a lifetime. I kept trying to do it all at once- have a perfect spiritual life, eat properly, exercise, stay on top of all the housework, be the perfect wife and mother, basically do everything RIGHT all the time.

Yeah, it never stuck for more than a week.

But… I have made a lot of progressions in ways that have STUCK as my life has progressed and forced me to adapt better habits out of necessity. My family relies on me to keep the house moving- the chores, the laundry, the meals, etc. There is no one else to do it. So in the past year I have seen myself actually take over those areas in ways that have stuck… out of necessity.

In other words, becoming perfect takes a lifetime and we can only hope to achieve something close to it before we die. The best thing you can do is to keep trying to become the best person you can be and keep trying to adopt more and more good habits and virtues one at a time.

It’s always best to start with the spiritual ones, too.

 

[EasterJoy]

Thank you so much for your great response. I am a fan of lists, and it helps me accomplish my goals. Do you have any tips on saving money, and what to do for entertainment instead of TV? Just trying to pick your brain.

Since you need to get exercise, consider taking your daughter or your wife and daughter for a brisk walk in the park (or when raining, at a mall, perhaps) on a regular basis.

Modern libraries have much more than just books, and have become great resources when it comes to finding cheap or free entertainment. For instance, our local library has “culture passes”. They’re family passes that people can check out in order to go to the local hands-on science museum, the Chinese garden, and so on. They also have puppet shows and story hours for little kids.

It almost goes without saying, but reading to your daughter is a very good use of your time, as is simply spending time talking with her. Poetry is especially good, because poets pay so much attention to rhythm and word choice. When you play with your daughter, jabber about what you two are doing and encourage her to do so as well, so she is exposed to lots of nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and different ways of constructing sentences. Until she can write, you can write down what she dictates, and then read it back later. Small children get a thrill out of that. This is how children learn language best, not through children’s programming. Although you want to aim for vivid language rather than the verbose blather that passes for communication among adults, avoid “dumbed down” language.

Also, if you go out for entertainment, consider that many times a large part of the price is the food. If you eat before you go, you can save half of what you’d spend otherwise. We used to go to the state fair, and then get our hands stamped, take a cooler and have a picnic late in the afternoon at a nearby park: better food at a much lower price in a place that was cooler and far more relaxing. We’d come back to the fair during the dinner hour, after we were refreshed and the crowds had thinned out greatly.

Speaking of sloth…screen sucking at the computer is a great time waster, and I am using too much here. Gotta go!!

 

[sweetpetunia]

Here are some of my budget-friendly suggestions for outings with a very young child:

1. In addition to library and park events, check out the local community center as well. Skating is great in the winter, and swimming throughout the year.
2. In addition to parks, try other great outdoor locations, such as beaches and national parks.
3. Look into season passes for venues that you would enjoy more than once, such as a zoo, children’s museum, or science centre… With the ones in my area, I find that they pay for themselves usually within about 2-4 visits, and then we get a year’s worth of entertainment which works out to be ridiculously cheap. It’s a good investment for us. Especially with the very young age of your daughter, you may not even need to get a family pass, usually there is a “dual” or “couple” option which is cheaper, and then children under 4 are often free.
4. Visit family! Visit friends, too
5. Go on a pilgrimage to a “famous” Catholic Church if you have one of special historical significance in your area.
6. If you don’t have a lot of free time, make your free time work for you…If one spouse is grocery shopping in the city, have the other take your daughter on a “free” outing simultaneously, such as to the pet store to look at all the animals, or to the nursery to smell all the flowers and look at the fountains. One of our local nurseries here even has a play area for children, complete with slides, clubhouses and a bridge Also, many bookstores have designated play areas. Not only is this option fun for the child, but usually the shopping parent appreciates the ability to shop more quickly and in peace
7. Pick fruits in season. Berries in the summer, apples in the fall, etc. U-Pick farms are awesome for entertainment with wagon rides, play areas, petting farms, etc; and usually the only cost is that of the fresh produce you bring home!

Hope this helps