Feel Like I Can Never Receive

[ALoveDivine]

So considering what the church considers “grave matter” I am despairing over being able to receive Communion. Not a single week has ever gone by that I have been completely free of any “grave” sin. Not one. It may only be masturbation or something like that, but without fail, I will fall into some grave sin at least once or twice in the course of the week.

Luckily I attend a church that offers confession before every mass. Yet I even feel like dirt going to confession. What is the point of confessing the same sin over and over again, every single week of my life, without ever being able to rise above it? Like clockwork I gravely sin after about 3 or 4 days. No devotion, or prayer, or anything else I’ve tried can really stop it.

Should I even be going to confession? I want to be holy, but I CONSTANTLY fail and commit the same sins. I want to be free of them, but that doesn’t really matter when the temptation comes on too strong. Are my confessions even valid?

Further, even if they are valid, should I really be receiving communion? My life is like (good ---- grave sin ----- confession ----- communion ---- good ----- grave sin, etc). Am I even worthy to receive at all given that this is my life? What a pitiful miserable spiritual life…I really wish God didn’t demand near perfection. It makes me wish the protestants were right. Sometimes I hate the truth. I don’t know what to do…

 

[Morwenna]

After reading your post, I immediately thought of CS Lewis’ writing on chastity:

We may, indeed, be sure that perfect chastity—like perfect charity—will not be attained by any merely human efforts. You must ask for God’s help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again. For however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness, or any other virtue) may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God. We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection.” - C.S. Lewis

 

[khajitmerchant]

It is not how many times you sin but how many times you repent and seek forgiveness that is important. Pope Benedict said something along these lines, perhaps someone else here has a link ? You do sound as if you are truly penitent when you go to Confession.

Also from Matthew 18 v 21 -22

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)

It is important to realise that our Lord was speaking according to the Jewish phraseology of the time, what He was really saying was to forgive your brother without limit. God is more forgiving than any of his creatures so don’t lose heart

 

[Wesrock]

Keep fighting the good fight, and feel confident in receiving communion after confession. Don’t feel ashamed, feel strengthened. The Lord knows our weaknesses, and it’s more important than ever to make use of the sacraments for spiritual strength and to know God’s mercy. Don’t feel like you’re gaming the system, because you’re not. You’re struggling with a very difficult temptation.

 

[peter26]

Here’s another Bible verse to reflect on

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us: but if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 St. John 1.8-9

You are doing the right thing with regular confession. Consider adding a very brief examination of conscience followed by a penitential prayer before bed every night. Also ask Mary to help you with chastity. And go to Mass as much as possible whether you can receive or not, just being in the presence of the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament will give you graces to help fight sin. Lastly, one thing that has helped me is to think on the Lord’s Passion. Visualise one of the Lord’s wounds on the Cross and imagine that nail is your lust. Well, it sometimes works for me anyway!

 

[brad90956]

First of, do NOT give up confession. Everyone has their own weaknesses. God knows what you are going through. But NEVER underestimate God’s mercy. He will ALWAYS forgive you, no matter how many times you sin if you humble yourself, are truly sorry and try to avoid sinning in the future. It’s a process. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I had a problem with a mortal sin that I thought I could never overcome. I kept falling into that particular sin. But I kept confessing it and confessing it and I told God, “I’m trying, please give me the strength to overcome it”. It took a while but I finally did overcome it. There is the possibility that I could fall again to this particular sin but I know God will forgive me.

God knows we are all sinners. That is why He gave the sacrament of reconciliation. He gave us this free gift through His Son’s sacrifice on the cross. He WANTS you to use it.

Don’t give up the fight. God Bless you.

 

[OraLabora]

A few thoughts.

First of all, if sin falls into a pattern of being a bad habit… or addiction even, moral culpability is reduced. Find a good regular confessor and work with him. If he says it’s not necessary to confess the same sin over and over again every single week, follow his advice. I fear you may end up falling into scrupulosity. The first sign of that is despair, and despair is showing through in your post. If a good holy confessor says that your culpability is reduced to venial because of addiction, bad habit, etc, believe him, do not second guess him. Follow his advice.

Secondly, remember to trust in God’s mercy. You are focusing on the defeats, but God focuses on your victories, even if fleeting and rare. Moreover as my confessor once told me, God rewards effort, even if the effort falls short of perfection. He knows you are trying.

Thirdly, don’t ask God to get you through another week without falling into your sin. Ask him to just get you through today or even just the next hour, without committing the sin. Take it in bite-sized pieces.

Lastly, remember willpower alone won’t do it. Only trust in God can help you. Heroic prayer in these cases is nothing more than an exercise in willpower. Willpower alone always fails, even when masked as prayer. Prayer should not be used as a test of the will. Prayer should be used to enter into a relationship of trust and love with God.

Sainthood takes time. A lifetime to be exact.

I leave you with this quote from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.

(my bold)

Only a good confessor you work with regularly will be able to make the above assessment. Do not despair! The above applies really, to any grave matter. Addictions, bad habits, etc., corrupt freedom of the will. They grab you by the throat and make you believe you are choking do death. That’s what Satan wants; he wants us to believe that we’re damned because of our bad habits. He wants us to despair because that drives us away from God. You aren’t damned because of you bad habits. Find a good confessor and also spiritual advisor and work with them, not the Internet.

 

[MiserableSinner]

So considering what the church considers “grave matter” I am despairing over being able to receive Communion. Not a single week has ever gone by that I have been completely free of any “grave” sin. Not one. It may only be masturbation or something like that, but without fail, I will fall into some grave sin at least once or twice in the course of the week.

Luckily I attend a church that offers confession before every mass. Yet I even feel like dirt going to confession. What is the point of confessing the same sin over and over again, every single week of my life, without ever being able to rise above it? Like clockwork I gravely sin after about 3 or 4 days. No devotion, or prayer, or anything else I’ve tried can really stop it.

Should I even be going to confession? I want to be holy, but I CONSTANTLY fail and commit the same sins. I want to be free of them, but that doesn’t really matter when the temptation comes on too strong. Are my confessions even valid?

Further, even if they are valid, should I really be receiving communion? My life is like (good ---- grave sin ----- confession ----- communion ---- good ----- grave sin, etc). Am I even worthy to receive at all given that this is my life? What a pitiful miserable spiritual life…I really wish God didn’t demand near perfection. It makes me wish the protestants were right. Sometimes I hate the truth. I don’t know what to do…

Everyone, not just the OP, take heed of this:

1 Corinthians 10:13
…12Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 13No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

This is talking about this EXACT issue. To stand means to be in a state of grace. When you get out of confession, you must always ask Jesus to keep you from falling. Whenever you are tempted, the moment you are tempted, you must STUBBORNLY refuse to stop asking Jesus to help you until He helps you. Our Mother is known for crushing sins of impurity, so ADAMANTLY refuse to stop asking Jesus and Mary for help EVERY TIME you are tempted.

Have Faith. The Holy Spirit wrote that passage (and the whole Bible). Say “God you said you would give me a way out. You said you would never leave me. I believe you. Jesus I trust in you.” If the temptation continues, say “Help me Jesus, Help me Mother, Help me Jesus, Help me Mother” and refuse to stop until it is over. Refuse to stop fighting and praying as if your life depended on it, because your spiritual life does.

Satan knows your weaknesses and will tempt you there. **** God lives in you. He is stronger. **** Satan will attack through your flesh and tempt you in the flesh. Be aware that our Mother said more souls fall into Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.

Galatians 6:8
…7Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.…

Now you know the Truth. It will set you free. Satan is the one who is telling you that you can not go the next week without falling into grave sin. IT IS A LIE FROM HELL.

Be of good cheer:

God loves you even when you have gravely sinned, and still wants to save you

Whenever you are in a state of grace and you resist a temptation, you gain merit and a greater glory in Heaven - EVEN IF YOU FALL BACK INTO GRAVE SIN, YOUR MERIT IS RETAINED AFTER YOUR NEXT VALID ABSOLUTION. That means you gained merit every time you DID resist these temptations, and you will be closer to God in Heaven. You CAN NOT gain ANY merit without being in a state of grace, but that does not mean you should stop fighting if you fall into sin - MAKE AN ACT OF PERFECT CONTRITION to the best of your ability. Ask God for the grace to do so. Don’t stop fighting.

Every time you are tempted, fight and pray until it is over. Avoid the near occasion of sin. If you see a pretty female, I DON’T CARE WHO IS AROUND, turn away instantly and say “HELP ME JESUS.” Do not lust! And remember LUST IS AN ACT OF THE WILL, NOT A FEELING. You have to fully consent to it in your will, FULLY, in order to commit a mortal sin. ALL MERIT IS IN THE WILL.

A prayer that will never fail, to our Mother, in times of distress: “Mother, Mother, please don’t abandon me, please be a Mother to me now.”

God is on your side and He loves you.

Remember - IT IS NOT JUST YOUR SALVATION AT STAKE. You are in a war for souls. When you gain merit by resisting temptation and stay in a state of grace, your prayers are more effective. By your prayers, if you remain faithful and attain any degree of holiness, SOULS WILL BE SAVED FROM ETERNAL HELL FIRE.

I love you. God loves you. Your Guardian Angel is ALWAYS with you and Saints have said they cry when we sin. Your Angel Loves you!

I love you Guardian Angel. Please help him to remember that you are always with him. (Your angel talks to you by putting good thoughts, images, and feelings in you. The bad angels do the opposite). Please help him understand what I am saying. I am prone to error, please help us. Please ask God to increase his faith so that you can help him more.

Mother please ask God to use him as an instrument of His will.

Holy Spirit I love and I trust you. Please help him and help me Lord. Please keep us from falling. In Jesus name I pray.

I salute you. I salute your Guardian Angel. Keep fighting.

 

[MiserableSinner]

Lastly, remember willpower alone won’t do it. Only trust in God can help you. Heroic prayer in these cases is nothing more than an exercise in willpower. Willpower alone always fails, even when masked as prayer. Prayer should not be used as a test of the will. Prayer should be used to enter into a relationship of trust and love with God.

Sainthood takes time. A lifetime to be exact.

I leave you with this quote from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

(my bold)

Only a good confessor you work with regularly will be able to make the above assessment. Do not despair! The above applies really, to any grave matter. Addictions, bad habits, etc., corrupt freedom of the will. They grab you by the throat and make you believe you are choking do death. That’s what Satan wants; he wants us to believe that we’re damned because of our bad habits. He wants us to despair because that drives us away from God. You aren’t damned because of you bad habits. Find a good confessor and also spiritual advisor and work with them, not the Internet.

Prayer IS an act of the will. All merit lies in the will. Every Saint knew that. You are neglecting to mention that we are to deny ourselves.

Romans 13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision
for the flesh, to gratify its desires

We must deny ourselves and take up our crosses

Mark 8:34
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 35"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.…

We have to crucify our flesh daily. Going to Mass for the Eucharist daily will help you, if it is possible for you.

Applying your WILL to PERSEVERE in prayer while being tempted, to do violence to yourself - to do what you don’t want to do, is exactly what we are supposed to do. Prayer is an act of the WILL. We are not supposed to rely on our willpower to overcome temptation, but instead God’s grace, that is true, and God gives us the grace to persevere in prayer. Persevering in prayer is normally the way He gives us to escape! Don’t make someone think that it isn’t of the greatest importance that they apply their God-given WILL to exactly what God wants - perseverance in prayer during temptations and trials.

I think you should re-read what you posted here and pray about it.

Satan wants us to think our mortal sins are just bad habits. If a priest agrees with Satan, they are still wrong.

It’s like this:

If a person is in the bad habit of committing fornication or adultery, are they still committing a grave sin each time? YES! No matter how strong the temptation,

Culpability being diminished can SOMETIMES make a GRAVE sin less than MORTAL. It is still a grave offense against God.

Do not EVER let Satan trick you into thinking you don’t have to confess every grave sin in confession. If a priest tells you that - GET A NEW PRIEST!!! If you fail to confess a grave sin, culpability POSSIBLY reduced to venial, you might neglect a mortal sin and commit sacrilege. Read St. Alphonsus on confession. copiosa.org/liguori_sermons/liguori_sermon_27.htm

Satan is like a wolf hunting sheep. He goes for the throat so that the sheep can not yell to the shepheard (priest).

Please pray. Mother please help.

I salute you
I salute your Guardian Angel (please help)

Galatians 5:17
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Our Mother said more souls fall into Hell because of sins of the flesh than any other reason.

Mother, Mother, Please don’t abandon us, please be a Mother to us now!

Holy Spirit I love you and trust you. Please help. In Jesus Name I pray.

Please pray about your post.

 

[hazcompat]

The Tenth Chapter
DO NOT LIGHTLY FOREGO HOLY COMMUNION
THE VOICE OF CHRIST
YOU must often return to the source of grace and divine mercy, to the fountain
of goodness and perfect purity, if you wish to be free from passion and vice, if you
desire to be made stronger and more watchful against all the temptations and deceits of
the devil.
The enemy, knowing the great good and the healing power of Holy Communion,
tries as much as he can by every manner and means to hinder and keep away the
faithful and the devout. Indeed, there are some who suffer the worst assaults of Satan
when disposing themselves to prepare for Holy Communion. As it is written in Job, this
wicked spirit comes among the sons of God to trouble them by his wonted malice, to
make them unduly fearful and perplexed, that thus he may lessen their devotion or
attack their faith to such an extent that they perhaps either forego Communion
altogether or receive with little fervor.
No attention, however, must be paid to his cunning wiles, no matter how base
and horrible – all his suggestions must be cast back upon his head. The wretch is to be
despised and scorned. Holy Communion must not be passed by because of any assaults
from him or because of the commotion he may arouse.
Oftentimes, also, too great solicitude for devotion and anxiety about confession
hinder a person. Do as wise men do. Cast off anxiety and scruple, for it impedes the
grace of God and destroys devotion of the mind.
Do not remain away from Holy Communion because of a small trouble or
vexation but go at once to confession and willingly forgive all others their offenses. If
you have offended anyone, humbly seek pardon and God will readily forgive you.
What good is it to delay confession for a long time or to put off Holy
Communion? Cleanse yourself at once, spit out the poison quickly. Make haste to apply
the remedy and you will find it better than if you had waited a long time. If you put it
off today because of one thing, perhaps tomorrow a greater will occur to you, and thus
you will stay away from Communion for a long time and become even more unfit.
Shake off this heaviness and sloth as quickly as you can, for there is no gain in
much anxiety, in enduring long hours of trouble, and in depriving yourself of the divine
Mysteries because of these daily disturbances. Yes, it is very hurtful to defer Holy
Communion long, for it usually brings on a lazy spiritual sleep.
How sad that some dissolute and lax persons are willing to postpone confession
and likewise wish to defer Holy Communion, lest they be forced to keep a stricter watch
over themselves! Alas, how little love and devotion have they who so easily put off
Holy Communion!
How happy and acceptable to God is he who so lives, and keeps his conscience
so pure, as to be ready and well disposed to communicate, even every day if he were
permitted, and if he could do so unnoticed.
If, now and then, a man abstains by the grace of humility or for a legitimate
reason, his reverence is commendable, but if laziness takes hold of him, he must arouse
himself and do everything in his power, for the Lord will quicken his desire because of
the good intention to which He particularly looks. When he is indeed unable to come,
he will always have the good will and pious intention to communicate and thus he will
not lose the fruit of the Sacrament.
Any devout person may at any hour on any day receive Christ in spiritual
communion profitably and without hindrance. Yet on certain days and times appointed
he ought to receive with affectionate reverence the Body of his Redeemer in this
Sacrament, seeking the praise and honor of God rather than his own consolation.
For as often as he devoutly calls to mind the mystery and passion of the
Incarnate Christ, and is inflamed with love for Him, he communicates mystically and is
invisibly refreshed.
He who prepares himself only when festivals approach or custom demands, will
often find himself unprepared. Blessed is he who offers himself a sacrifice to the Lord as
often as he celebrates or communicates.
Be neither too slow nor too fast in celebrating but follow the good custom
common to those among whom you are. You ought not to cause others inconvenience
or trouble, but observe the accepted rule as laid down by superiors, and look to the
benefit of others rather than to your own devotion or inclination.

Thomas A Kempis
The Imitation of Christ

Peace

 

[hazcompat]

The Prayer of Saint Ambrose

Before Communion

I beg of you, O Lord, by this most holy mystery of Your Body and Blood, with which You daily nourish us in Your Church, that we may be cleansed and sanctified and made sharers in Your divinity. Grant to me Your holy virtues, which will enable me to approach Your altar with a clean conscience, so that this heavenly Sacrament may be a means of salvation and life to me, for You Yourself have said: “I am the living bread that has come down from heaven. If anyone eat of this bread, he shall live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.”

Most Sweet Bread, heal my heart, that I may taste the sweetness of Your love. Heal it from all weakness, that I may enjoy no sweetness but You. Most pure Bread, containing every delight which ever refreshes us, may my heart consume You and may my soul be filled with Your sweetness. Holy Bread, living Bread, perfect Bread, that has come down from heaven to give life to the world, come into my heart and cleanse me from every stain of body and soul. Enter into my soul; heal and cleanse me completely. Be the constant safeguard and salvation of my soul and body. Guard me from the enemies who lie in wait. May they flee from the protecting presence of Your power, so that, armed in soul and body by You, I may safely reach Your Kingdom.

There we shall see You, not as now as in mysteries, but face to face, when You will deliver the Kingdom to God the Father, and will reign as God over all. Then You, who with the same God the Father and the Holy Spirit, live and reign forever, will satisfy the hunger of my soul perfectly with Yourself, so that I shall neither hunger nor thirst again. Amen.

Peace

 

[hazcompat]

So considering what the church considers “grave matter” I am despairing over being able to receive Communion. Not a single week has ever gone by that I have been completely free of any “grave” sin. Not one. It may only be masturbation or something like that, but without fail, I will fall into some grave sin at least once or twice in the course of the week.

Luckily I attend a church that offers confession before every mass. Yet I even feel like dirt going to confession. What is the point of confessing the same sin over and over again, every single week of my life, without ever being able to rise above it? Like clockwork I gravely sin after about 3 or 4 days. No devotion, or prayer, or anything else I’ve tried can really stop it.

Should I even be going to confession? I want to be holy, but I CONSTANTLY fail and commit the same sins. I want to be free of them, but that doesn’t really matter when the temptation comes on too strong. Are my confessions even valid?

Further, even if they are valid, should I really be receiving communion? My life is like (good ---- grave sin ----- confession ----- communion ---- good ----- grave sin, etc). Am I even worthy to receive at all given that this is my life? What a pitiful miserable spiritual life…I really wish God didn’t demand near perfection. It makes me wish the protestants were right. Sometimes I hate the truth. I don’t know what to do…

 

[hazcompat]

So considering what the church considers “grave matter” I am despairing over being able to receive Communion. Not a single week has ever gone by that I have been completely free of any “grave” sin. Not one. It may only be masturbation or something like that, but without fail, I will fall into some grave sin at least once or twice in the course of the week.

Luckily I attend a church that offers confession before every mass. Yet I even feel like dirt going to confession. What is the point of confessing the same sin over and over again, every single week of my life, without ever being able to rise above it? Like clockwork I gravely sin after about 3 or 4 days. No devotion, or prayer, or anything else I’ve tried can really stop it.

Should I even be going to confession? I want to be holy, but I CONSTANTLY fail and commit the same sins. I want to be free of them, but that doesn’t really matter when the temptation comes on too strong. Are my confessions even valid?

Further, even if they are valid, should I really be receiving communion? My life is like (good ---- grave sin ----- confession ----- communion ---- good ----- grave sin, etc). Am I even worthy to receive at all given that this is my life? What a pitiful miserable spiritual life…I really wish God didn’t demand near perfection. It makes me wish the protestants were right. Sometimes I hate the truth. I don’t know what to do…

I have been where you are. Persevere, develop a devotion to Our Mother Mary. You will not conquer…Grace will, and gratitude will advance along the path to Sanctity. Be Not Afraid.

Peace

 

[hazcompat]

Romans 7:Sin and Death.*

13Did the good, then, become death for me? Of course not! Sin, in order that it might be shown to be sin, worked death in me through the good, so that sin might become sinful beyond measure through the commandment
14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold into slavery to sin.
15 What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.
16 Now if I do what I do not want, I concur that the law is good.
17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
18 For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not.
19for I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want.
20 Now if * do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21 So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand.
22 For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self,
23 l but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
24 Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body?
25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin.

Peace*