Feeling a bit confused

[angell1]

well, most of you know that my relationship with my parents has not always been great. in turn, from since I was very young, I wanted a mother figure in my life, teacher, mentor, that sort of thing. looking back, I guess I’m worried, because when I want to be close to someone, they tend ot be on my mind a lot or I wanted them to like me, be impressed with me, find ways to talk to them or excuses to run in to them places. i guess it was attention-seeking more than anyting because i wanted them to notice me

I was also doing some reading and apparently these are signs of attraction towards the same sex (or I guess opposite sex if these people are male), coupled with the lack of desire of marriage, apparently, I seem to fit the description.

I never really even considered that possibility until now, i thought it was nothing impure, albeit probably unhealthy and a bit obsessive. i was putting too much stock in human relationships when i should seek God instead

it’s a double problem, I’m tired of having all these walls around myself, i want to be able to open up and love people but I’m afraid of being inappropriate or crossing some boundary that i am not supposed to or don’t even know about. everyone talks about love or sexual attraction or friendship and all those things, i hardly even know the difference between any of it

and yes, i talked to a priest, he seems confused as to why I’m even asking him.

please continue to pray for me, i may just being having another one of my OCD episodes

 

[mattp0625]

well, most of you know that my relationship with my parents has not always been great. in turn, from since I was very young, I wanted a mother figure in my life, teacher, mentor, that sort of thing. looking back, I guess I’m worried, because when I want to be close to someone, they tend ot be on my mind a lot or I wanted them to like me, be impressed with me, find ways to talk to them or excuses to run in to them places. i guess it was attention-seeking more than anyting because i wanted them to notice me

I was also doing some reading and apparently these are signs of attraction towards the same sex (or I guess opposite sex if these people are male), coupled with the lack of desire of marriage, apparently, I seem to fit the description.

I never really even considered that possibility until now, i thought it was nothing impure, albeit probably unhealthy and a bit obsessive. i was putting too much stock in human relationships when i should seek God instead

it’s a double problem, I’m tired of having all these walls around myself, i want to be able to open up and love people but I’m afraid of being inappropriate or crossing some boundary that i am not supposed to or don’t even know about. everyone talks about love or sexual attraction or friendship and all those things, i hardly even know the difference between any of it

and yes, i talked to a priest, he seems confused as to why I’m even asking him.

please continue to pray for me, i may just being having another one of my OCD episodes

I think I understand what you are trying to say.

I am sorry that you are experiencing all of that.

There are some priests I think would understand you better. Remember, they are imperfect beings.

I wish I had words of wisdom, but it might not be of much help.

In order to reshape my own mind, I try to consume spiritually enlightening or inspiring content. In other words, I try to fill my mind with good things.

I like to listen to Mother Angelica or Bishop Fulton Sheen on YouTube (or EWTN). They may be considered somewhat “old fashioned” but I like it.

You can also find presentations given by Sister Miriam James Heidland. She tells her personal story and she went through a similar process that you’re going through.

I have heard that people like The Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II

Right now, I’m slowly making my way through The Imitation of Christ. It gives timeless advice on how to find peace and be more like Jesus.

 

[jmjZelie]

When a child is deprived of natural affection or healthy attention from their same-sex parent, it can create a situation where we are looking to find someone to fill that void in our life. And if we find someone with whom we connect in a good way, it is natural that we think about them often and look forward to their company. And not everybody is interested in marriage. None of this is definitive evidence that someone is same-sex attracted, meaning desiring a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex. So I hope you can be at peace about that.
Society has unfortunately sexualized relationships to such an extent that affection within same-sex friendships is seen as homosexual, so that men cannot throw an arm around a male friend, and women can’t hold the hand of their female friend, without inadvertently introducing an unwanted tension there. That is unnatural and unfortunate.
I have read many of your threads, and I have been saddened by how you have been treated, angel. It can be very hard to let someone in, emotionally, when you are vulnerable and have been hurt. It is once again, only natural to have the contradictory desire to be around a person whose company and friendship you desire, but also afraid of taking down those walls. I don’t have any advice for you. Only my prayers. I truly hope you can form some genuine friendships that meet those legitimate needs. It is true that we should not be attached to human respect, but our need for friendship and social interaction is a true need. God made us this way. God bless you!

 

[robertmidwest]

well, most of you know that my relationship with my parents has not always been great. in turn, from since I was very young, I wanted a mother figure in my life, teacher, mentor, that sort of thing. looking back, I guess I’m worried, because when I want to be close to someone, they tend ot be on my mind a lot or I wanted them to like me, be impressed with me, find ways to talk to them or excuses to run in to them places. i guess it was attention-seeking more than anyting because i wanted them to notice me

I was also doing some reading and apparently these are signs of attraction towards the same sex (or I guess opposite sex if these people are male), coupled with the lack of desire of marriage, apparently, I seem to fit the description.

I never really even considered that possibility until now, i thought it was nothing impure, albeit probably unhealthy and a bit obsessive. i was putting too much stock in human relationships when i should seek God instead

it’s a double problem, I’m tired of having all these walls around myself, i want to be able to open up and love people but I’m afraid of being inappropriate or crossing some boundary that i am not supposed to or don’t even know about. everyone talks about love or sexual attraction or friendship and all those things, i hardly even know the difference between any of it

and yes, i talked to a priest, he seems confused as to why I’m even asking him.

please continue to pray for me, i may just being having another one of my OCD episodes

Many times when we feel uncomfortable it is because we are at odds with God’s will in our life. Or we do not know God’s will.

Start there. Do you have an active prayer life? Spend time DAILY talking with God, reading scripture. Ask God directly what he has in store for your life and be open what He has to say. We get grace through the Sacraments. If you can attend Mass during the week, do it. Look for a spiritual director and make routine confessions.

 

[1ke]

I was also doing some reading and apparently these are signs of attraction towards the same sex (or I guess opposite sex if these people are male), coupled with the lack of desire of marriage, apparently, I seem to fit the description.

You know, that is a bunch of NONSENSE.

If you have a fever, you might have the plague. But, it’s probably just a cold.

You wanting attention and affection could be same sex attraction. But it’s probably just what it appears to be: a person who has not received love and affection from the people who she should be able to rely on seeking it elsewhere.

Note, the Earth could get hit by an asteroid tomorrow, but it isn’t likely… Neither is this far fetched explanation of you wanting attention.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Yes, just because someone has a poor relationship with their mother and/or father is no reason to suspect that one might be homosexual.

 

[pianistclare]

Too much time being micromanaged.
Get out of your home and get a part time job.
Meet new people.
Your mom has hurt you yes. But only you can turn this self doubt around. But you have to put some effort I to it.
Try to stop navel gazing. Ask God to give you strength.
Time to cut those apron strings. It’s a big world out there. Get started on life angel. They cant control you forever unless you let them. You love your parents, of course.
But they will have failed if you can’t function without questioning every. Single.thing.
You know what to do.
Call your college advisor and see about getting a place with a sighted person. Take a step out into the sunlight. Your guardian angel walks with you. God loves you. Our Lady smiles on you.
Have faith.
Trust.
Achieve.
I believe you can do it.

Also…what zelie said.

 

[angell1]

Too much time being micromanaged.
Get out of your home and get a part time job.
Meet new people.
Your mom has hurt you yes. But only you can turn this self doubt around. But you have to put some effort I to it.
Try to stop navel gazing. Ask God to give you strength.
Time to cut those apron strings. It’s a big world out there. Get started on life angel. They cant control you forever unless you let them. You love your parents, of course.
But they will have failed if you can’t function without questioning every. Single.thing.
You know what to do.
Call your college advisor and see about getting a place with a sighted person. Take a step out into the sunlight. Your guardian angel walks with you. God loves you. Our Lady smiles on you.
Have faith.
Trust.
Achieve.
I believe you can do it.

Also…what zelie said.

i’ll work on getting that job first.

can’t move out if you have no money.

that’s pretty much the only problem, it’s not that i can’t live on my own, i can cook and clean and do all that stuff. I’m already doing most of it at home anywyas

it would be nice to not have to live with others for a change

 

[angell1]

You know, that is a bunch of NONSENSE.

If you have a fever, you might have the plague. But, it’s probably just a cold.

You wanting attention and affection could be same sex attraction. But it’s probably just what it appears to be: a person who has not received love and affection from the people who she should be able to rely on seeking it elsewhere.

Note, the Earth could get hit by an asteroid tomorrow, but it isn’t likely… Neither is this far fetched explanation of you wanting attention.

sigh… catholic source too

appreciate the advice as always. i think sometimes, i just need a good solid whack on the head, figuratively speaking, of course

 

[angell1]

When a child is deprived of natural affection or healthy attention from their same-sex parent, it can create a situation where we are looking to find someone to fill that void in our life. And if we find someone with whom we connect in a good way, it is natural that we think about them often and look forward to their company. And not everybody is interested in marriage. None of this is definitive evidence that someone is same-sex attracted, meaning desiring a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex. So I hope you can be at peace about that.
Society has unfortunately sexualized relationships to such an extent that affection within same-sex friendships is seen as homosexual, so that men cannot throw an arm around a male friend, and women can’t hold the hand of their female friend, without inadvertently introducing an unwanted tension there. That is unnatural and unfortunate.
I have read many of your threads, and I have been saddened by how you have been treated, angel. It can be very hard to let someone in, emotionally, when you are vulnerable and have been hurt. It is once again, only natural to have the contradictory desire to be around a person whose company and friendship you desire, but also afraid of taking down those walls. I don’t have any advice for you. Only my prayers. I truly hope you can form some genuine friendships that meet those legitimate needs. It is true that we should not be attached to human respect, but our need for friendship and social interaction is a true need. God made us this way. God bless you!

i think that is also part of the problem, what you said about society sexualizing relationships, it’s completely true

i really am trying to work on it, it used to be a lot worse, believe it or not

 

[angell1]

Yes, just because someone has a poor relationship with their mother and/or father is no reason to suspect that one might be homosexual.

well, that’s pretty much what i thought too, guess i just came across something that set off scruples

 

[Truegrit]

You know, often the old adage DISCREATION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR is overlooked or not applied. Some things I just don’t want to know about, such as sexual orientation and people’s most intimate thoughts or desires. It makes me feel like I am peeping through someone’s window blinds.

You make your parents sound sound just awful, but are they? Or are they just overly protective? I also, think you seek attention, but I don’t know that as factual. You have too much time on your hands and need to be concerned for others. i know you have troubles, but so do millions of other people. Consider this: Would Jesus write or say some of what you write about in a forum that is read by 400.000+ people? Would His Mother Mary approve? Peace.

 

[Lou2U]

You know, often the old adage DISCREATION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR is overlooked or not applied. Some things I just don’t want to know about, such as sexual orientation and people’s most intimate thoughts or desires. It makes me feel like I am peeping through someone’s window blinds.

You make your parents sound sound just awful, but are they? Or are they just overly protective? I also, think you seek attention, but I don’t know that as factual. You have too much time on your hands and need to be concerned for others. i know you have troubles, but so do millions of other people. Consider this: Would Jesus write or say some of what you write about in a forum that is read by 400.000+ people? Would His Mother Mary approve? Peace.

With all due respect, I don’t think you understand Angel’s situation and her posting history.

Keep going, Angel. Make getting your own place your goal, keep earning money and try not to worry yourself so much. The only way is up, right?

Lou

 

[Vivian42]

well, most of you know that my relationship with my parents has not always been great. in turn, from since I was very young, I wanted a mother figure in my life, teacher, mentor, that sort of thing. looking back, I guess I’m worried, because when I want to be close to someone, they tend ot be on my mind a lot or I wanted them to like me, be impressed with me, find ways to talk to them or excuses to run in to them places. i guess it was attention-seeking more than anyting because i wanted them to notice me

I was also doing some reading and apparently these are signs of attraction towards the same sex (or I guess opposite sex if these people are male), coupled with the lack of desire of marriage, apparently, I seem to fit the description.

I never really even considered that possibility until now, i thought it was nothing impure, albeit probably unhealthy and a bit obsessive. i was putting too much stock in human relationships when i should seek God instead

it’s a double problem, I’m tired of having all these walls around myself, i want to be able to open up and love people but I’m afraid of being inappropriate or crossing some boundary that i am not supposed to or don’t even know about. everyone talks about love or sexual attraction or friendship and all those things, i hardly even know the difference between any of it

and yes, i talked to a priest, he seems confused as to why I’m even asking him.

please continue to pray for me, i may just being having another one of my OCD episodes

Stop worrying about “love” or “sexual attraction”. They’re just distractions. People like to play with these terms around like they’re the center of the Universe. No, they’re really not.

Seek to expand your knowledge as much as possible and to raise yourself intellectually and spiritually. The greatest saints never worried about such things (I’m not asking you to become a saint, just saying).
As insensitive as this may sound, they’re just primitive reactions. I have yet to find true “love” in our reality - as a real and separate feeling, not a combination of different desires.

 

[pianistclare]

With all due respect, I don’t think you understand Angel’s situation and her posting history.

Keep going, Angel. Make getting your own place your goal, keep earning money and try not to worry yourself so much. The only way is up, right?

Lou

+1.