Feeling Alone

[aliciar]

I’ve come to the realization that even though I have many friends and family, I can’t really count on them for religious advice. Those that are catholics don’t follow the rules of the Church. The biggest thing they support is birth control. My mother had me on pills since I was sixteen. Because I was on them, everytime I tried to get off them w-]/-]hen I was married, I tried doing naturally and I failed. Everyone I talk to say they are on birth control or they did a vacetomy or had their tubes tied. When I tell people that I want more children, they say I am crazy. I always wanted to be in a family with husband and children. I was married and had two children but got divorced because my ex wanted out. I tried everything. He used to be a good catholic but then he divorced me and is now married to the woman he cheated on me with. Now, we were divorced before he met her, but I went back with him to see if we can work it out. Then he met her and got her pregnant.

I never really had good guidance. My mother never taught me the ways of the church. My father is in another country. I am living in sin that i don’t know how to get out. I live with a man who fathered my third child. He is married in Mexico. He is verbally abusive and dosen’t go to church. I need him though because I can’t live alone. I have adhd and considered disabled although ssi hasn’t confirmed it yet. I can’t keep a job for too long and I need someone to help me with rent. I do want more children but I want to be married to a good man who is faithful to the church but I also want to get closer to the church and to God. I need help. there are churches were I live, but I don’t know if the priests would understand what I go through or if they will condemn me. I am lost and scared.

 

[Viki63]

Dear Alicia.
I’m sorry you’re going through a hard time.
You are living in adultery with another man’s wife, You know you don’t want to do this, Think of how his wife must feel?
Please go talk with a priest. Find a kind understanding one who can help you find a safe place to live. it’s better to live alone than with an abusive person, Abuse will wear you down until you’re not able to help yourself.
In most cities there are safe places for abused women to go with their children. They can help you find resources to start over. You deserve a calm life so that you can take care of your children in peace.
God bless.

 

[admonsta]

Hello Alicia,

You really do need to speak to a good Priest. That’s the best way to unravel this situation. Don’t be scared of them - they will do what is best to help you, even if that means they have to tell you things that are hard to hear. Please understand that it is your immortal soul that is at risk right now, and you need clear, unbiased advice.

It sounds to me that you would benefit from a spiritual advisor to help you long term with your difficulties.

Praying for you.

Monica

 

[crazzeto]

Alicar,

You say you’re living in sin, is this due to the Pill? If you want to get off them then consult a doctor about what the best way to do this is. I know what it feels like to be living in sin, only recently I corrected such a situation with my fiance and I. Feels a lot better now that we’re not sinning against Chastity and our Marriage Bed.

Don’t give up, and don’t dispair no matter how bad you might feel right now. God doesn’t want to abandon you. I would suggest prayer, the first prayer I would recommend is the Rosary. If you’ve never prayed it before, I’ve attached an instructional PDF. It’s a little something I handed out to my 6th graders to teach them how to pray it.

I would also recommend looking up a good novena to St. Joseph, and perhaps St. Rita (always good when you feel hopeless). I prayed these as well when I was living in sin my self, and these Saints also assited me greatly.

Another good prayer, which I got off a thread in this very forum is this one

Oh most beautiful flower of Mt. Carmel, fruit wine splenderous of
Heaven, Blessed Mother of the Son of God, Immaculate Virgin, assist
me in my necessity. Oh Star of the Sea. Help me and show me herein
you are my Mother. Oh Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven
and Earth, I humbly beseech you from the bottom of my heart to
succour me in my necessity.
There is none that can withstand your power. Oh show me here you
are my Mother. Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have
recourse to Thee (3 times). Thank you for mercy towards me and
mine. Amen.

The prayer should be said 3 consecutive days in a row. I prayed it continuesly throughout, and still do for the Graces to continue not living in sin.

If you’re worried that you might be living in sin due to your divorce, then don’t worry about that. As long as you’re not re-married, or activily engaging in extra-marital affiars you are not sinning. If you have remarried, you can do what I’m doing with my fiance right now. Just sleep in different rooms of your home, and discontinue any form of sexual relation, until you can talk to your Priest about how to start the process of getting an anulment (well, until one is granted).

God bless

 

[Corinne3]

Dear Alicar;

You are NOT alone. This wonderful website and the Catholics on it are here for you, just like they have been for me. And Jesus loves you so much. He will guide you into what you need to do. Read maybe some Psalms today from the Scriptures. They will uplift you. I am sorry you are unhappy and having a hard time. But take heart, Jesus is there for us all. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. He wants to take our cares from us, and"keep us from all anxiety, as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of Christ" as we pray every Mass…

I don 't have any advice, except know you are in my deep thoughts and now on my prayer list too.

God Bless You.

Corinne

 

[Musician]

You are in my prayers…
I too was disabled due to a severe mental breakdown. I was then diagnosed ADD, which opened my eyes to how strangely I’d been reacting to everything my whole life. Good medical care is important.
I am proud to say, though, that I got off of disability and went back to work after my recovery. It can be done. Today I live with my ADD just fine.
You should see your priest ASAP. Also, I would certainly take steps to get out of the relationship you are in.

 

[livnlern]

I’m sorry you’re having such problems. The advice to talk to a priest is really good and you should take it. Find a priest that you feel at home with and he’ll help you. That’s his job!
As for having more children, really you need to get your life straightened out first and take care of the children you already have. You have your hands full right now and don’t need to add to that. I hope you find the help that you need.

 

[forgetmenot]

There’s a lot of straightening out you need to do, but one step at a time. You are overwhelmed by it all, and we all get overwhelmed at one time or another. Do not blame yourself for how you were raised by your parents. Although they may have done things that you now find are inconsistent with your beliefs, keep in mind they only did the best they could with the knowledge they had. I would hope that you are receiving child support from your x, and that it is sufficient to care for the children; I would also hope that you are receiving alimony, and that it is sufficient, as well. If not, then perhaps you should contact legal aid where you can possibly get free advice. It is your choice right now that you are living with your third child’s father. I am not here to throw stones, though I would strongly suggest you be strong in your attempts to have him either reconcile with his wife or start his own divorce proceedings. I sense a fear in your writing to let him go, but only because he seems to be the provider right now. When you feel up to it, you should try to seek an annulment/declaration of nullity. There are places you can receive help from, and, if you don’t want to talk to a priest, there are family services provided by the Catholic church. All you need do is research the web for your local diocese. Don’t be afraid. With time God will help you to get through this. We’re all here praying for you. God bless.