Feeling ashamed!

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The thing is that I feel ashamed because before mass I saw my crush and that made me get butterflies in my tummy . I guess I was still thinking about him when it was time for me to read
 
No. I’m a woman pastor ministering to a reformed parish (for now at least, as I’m taking baby steps towards conversion) 😉
“Reformed” as in Calvinist? Wow! That’s quite a step. Congratulations!
 
Well, try saying a short prayer to keep you focused. I always pray that If it be our Father’s will, that He use me as a lector to bring glory to His Name.
If your crush thinks less of you for your mistake (which I doubt), then he isn’t worth thinking about.
 
I feel you are being too hard on yourself. It is normal to on occasion not perform as good as we wished, we are not flawless perfect beings.

It is a great way to overcome your introversion, and speaking in front of a congregation puts most people nervous.

I would suggest you keep doing the readings and do the best you can, but do not worry too much if sometimes things are not perfect, learning from our mistakes is one of the main ways we have to improve ourselves.
 
Remember, we are just acting as readers for God. He takes care of how the reading is received in the hearts and minds of the hearers. Singers have this problem too, and we mess up much more often!! Sometimes mistakes get used by God for good purposes,and sometimes they are just a pain.

Was it “immorality/immortality”? Man, that happens almost every time. But the congregation almost never notices, especially if they are reading along in the book. “Leper/leopard” is also popular.

Whatever happened, the cure is to get back on the horse and ride. Set your face like flint, like the man says, and do your best, and you will get better. It is all experience.
 
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Reading it isn’t a ‘performance’, the words of the Scripture are what really matters, not the reader reading them.

So you didn’t read well, what is the problem with that? Who has been hurt by that other than yourself? Walking out of Mass as a result (and maybe missing your Sunday obligation if this was a Sunday) doesn’t sound like the best thing to have done.

The problem with compliments is that they can feed our own pride. Perhaps your reading badly was a good thing? Just get back up there and read again, and remember that it is not about you, your competence as a reader, or what other people think.
 
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Then lesson learned, the next time focus on why you are reading: to serve God.
 
That’s completely natural, distractions happen. They happened to saints and they will happen to us, don’t be too hard on yourself. God wants us to be patient with everyone including ourselves. Next time you go up to read ( I agree that you should not give up) , ask your angel to help you with distractions, he wants you to do God’s will and bring glory to His name and is willing to help you and will be pleased to do so. I have to read occasionally at mass in my role as Cafod rep when I am asking for donations and have made a mess of it due to nerves as our mass is live streamed so I never know how many people are watching…I’m often distracted by the ones walking out lol. I have learned to just take it slowly and not take offence. Lean on God, He is there for you and will support you cos He loves you more than you can imagine. God bless you. I will pray for you.
 
Relax! You’re human! You’re not expected to be perfect.

It also sounds like you might be a bit young, in which case I assure you the congregation is just thrilled to see a young face up there participating and doesn’t care in the least if you had a bit of a stumble here or there.

If it helps, before I read, as I’m approaching the altar, I look up at Jesus on the crucifix and quietly ask for his help to bring these words to all the people listening. That’s always brought a bit of calms and focus to me.
 
I’ve been reading at Mass for almost 49 years and have had more “bad days” that I can (or want to) remember. Some of my foul-ups were real doozies. The thing I’ve learned is that nobody remembers them…except me.

As mentioned upthread, priests make mistakes, people in the choir make mistakes, altar servers make mistakes, EMHCs made mistakes. We all do.

Don’t beat yourself up. I’m praying for you right now for confidence and peace the next time you read at Mass.

And congratulations for taking on a challenge that may not come naturally to you. God is pleased by your effort!
 
If you missed your Sunday obligation a result of walking out of Mass, then I would bring that to your priest at Confession as soon as possible. You don’t have to give all the details if you don’t want to, you could just confess that you missed a Sunday Mass obligation and leave it at that.
 
Worse, as in Swiss Calvinist 😉

Seriously though, there’s a phenomenon, true in this case, which is that the margins are generally more conservative than the centre. From what I read online about US calvinism, I feel worlds apart. We’re not congregationalist, we’ve forgotten what TULIP means, we’re pro-ecumenical, we celebrate the Eucharist every Sunday. Under the influence of Jean-Jacques von Allmen, there also was an important liturgical reform. As a result, a non negligible portion of ministers in my church, myself included, celebrate in a way which is not that far away from the OF, and believe in Real Presence.

It’s not that big a step (except for the part where I give up my ministry).

And sorry, @Izzy1, for hijacking your thread !
 
You need to cut yourself some slack. No one expects you to be perfect all the time.

Reading is much more enjoyable if you can take some of the pressure off yourself.
 
I’m planning on going for confession at the end of this month so I’ll bring it up that time
 
If it was me, I’d make a point if going sooner. Missing a Sunday Mass can be serious.
 
I dont know that I’d get too het up about the Sunday obligation myself… it’s an obligation to go to mass not to receive and she did go, technically, yes she had to leave but for a valid reason. I mean how many moms and dads miss most of mass going in and out for difficult children or young babies? Or people with illnesses have to leave for some or all of the mass, you would not say they missed their Sunday obligation? this is no different… leaving because of distress.
I’d certainly bring it up with your confessor but I would not worry too much about it. I was upset about being late for mass once through illness and told my confessor about it and he said relax these things happen, I am sure your confessor will say much the same.
 
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I dont know that I’d get too het up about the Sunday obligation myself… it’s an obligation to go to mass not to receive and she did go, technically, yes she had to leave but for a valid reason.
It 's nothing to do with whether or not she received Communion, but my understanding is that leaving before the Gospel and not going back in doesn’t fulfil one’s Sunday obligation. I may be wrong, but my understanding is that if you are not there for the Offertory and Consecration onwards (some people say from the Gospel onwards) you have effectively missed Mass.
 
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