She can’t control him no, but he must control himself. If he can’t (and I mean this in no way disrespectfully) she needs to tell him what the consequences are. Direct him to the resources and he should stop. If not, there is something more serious going on. Masterbation and porn is always a joke in this new age (watch a series of FRIENDS and Joey and Chandler always talk about it, Monica even buys Chandler (her husband) Porn for his birthday) but it actually isn’t a joke at all.
When I found out about the harmful effects that it has on my spirit, I stopped.
There is a reason that porn and masterbation is a ‘hidden’ secretive thing. You are ashamed. And you should be.
Take a purely denotative look at what is happening, and you tell me this is not a form of cheating (or if you are single, sexual immorality):
A man (or woman) is watching another couple (and with porn now, who knows how many others) have sex with each other purely for you to satisfy your sexual lust. Now… That couple is doing that sex act not out of love, so thats a first strike. Second strike is that well nobody should be watching it if they were doing it out of love. Third strike is nobody should try get their sexual pleasure from watching others have sex.
That is ALL besides the evils of the Porn industry, the effects it has on other areas of your life. etc.
Jason Evert uses a nice example about sex before marriage. If its just a natural and wonderful thing, why would you hide it and keep it a secret from her parents. (something like that; because in marriage it is obvious you are having sex). And this brings up the broader theme of love. If its an expression of love why hide it. Same applies to porn. Why hide it?
Because it is the OPPOSITE of love. It is not natural. Just because the porn industry made sex a commodity to sell doesn’t intrinsically make it just that. Go back a few hundred years and people would tell you you’re crazy if you tried looking at them having sex while you pleasure yourself. It’s disgusting.
And whats even more disgusting is that when you are married this shouldnt even be an issue.Yes, secular couples survive with it. But do you want to be a secular couple? Do you want to merely survive? No. You want to be happy. And you can argue for extreme cases like oh I’m not sexually attracted to my wife anymore and porn helps me release. Well… is that love? If your wife slept with another man and said oh well it helps me release what would you say?
What is interesting to me, too, as a media studies student is how porn as a medium is translated and transmitted and how this in effect wipes out the immediate shame involved. What I mean is that… you look at porn on a video, and because you aren’t ACTUALLY in that room and because its a “video” you kind of think well this is okay really… Consider if you were in that room. Because all that seperates you and that room where the act happened is time and space, nothing else. As a man, as a husband, as a son, would you walk into a porn room and start masterbating? Doubt it. Don’t be fooled by the illusion of the TV/screen/magazine.
Porn takes a sacred, blessed, holy thing and defiles it. It chews it up and spits out a disgusting, sinful, dirty, selfish thing and society calls it normal.
It isn’t normal. And I have a feeling those secular couples that are “okay” with it aren’t really all that ‘okay’ with it.
