Feeling called to religious life but currently in a relationship

[HomeschoolDad]

Take your time, pray, get spiritual direction, don’t rush into anything (a monastery wouldn’t let you!), and don’t let one vocation drown out the other. Be calm, and if conventional wisdom is to be believed, you will eventually have your answer. And did I say pray?

And do ask yourself whether this woman is going to help you get to heaven more easily, or not. Be aware, as someone else alluded to upthread, that if any future spouse sees contraception and/or sterilization as a non-negotiable, that’s not a good sign. Life, and saving one’s soul, is hard enough as it is, without making life decisions that will render the task even harder.

And I know we laid the Eastern Rite question to rest, but if I were an Eastern Rite bishop, and a Latin Rite single Catholic man approached me about changing rites, the very first question that would come to mind, would be “are you just trying to find a way to be a married priest?”. I don’t know if they ask that, but I would. (Is there a universal permission among Eastern Rites in this country that married men may become priests? There didn’t used to be.)

 

[bpd_stl]

At the same time I’ve felt a calling to the religious life. I have felt a calling to serve God (either by becoming a priest or a friar). There is nothing that brings me as much joy as talking about God with others and sharing the faith.

From my prospective as a former seminarian, the reality for most diocesan priests is one primarily of administration. Other that offering the Mass and other sacraments, your day is mostly consumed with administration of your parish…THAT IS YOUR MINISTRY. Yes, you carve out time to meet with individual parishioners for spiritual direction & Confession…but it must be balanced with attending meetings, getting the leaking roof fixed, worrying about the budget…etc. I distinctly remember a joke an old priest told me in seminary: “10% of your parishioners will take up 90% of your time, while 90% of your parishioners will only take up 10% of your time.”

This is also the case with being a friar. You don’t choose how you serve, your superior does. You might be tasked to do something that doesn’t give you any time to interact with people on a spiritual or personal level.

I say all of this because I started out just like you are. The difference was, I chose the seminary. Didn’t work out for me (see above), so now I’m a layman again.

 

[Vico]

…
She herself is not Catholic …
I’m still struggling in my faith …

It could be that she will become Catholic, or you will marry a different person. It is difficult to be in a mixed marriage as there is not unity in the beliefs.

Saint Pope Paul VI wrote:

There are many difficulties inherent in a mixed marriage, since a certain division is introduced into the living cell of the Church, as the Christian family is rightly called. And in the family itself the fulfillment of the Gospel teachings is more difficult because of diversities in matters of religion, especially with regard to those matters which concern Christian worship and the education of the children.

For these reasons the Church, conscious of her duty, discourages the contracting of mixed marriages.

http://www.vatican.va/content/paul-...i_motu-proprio_19700331_matrimonia-mixta.html

 

[shanishani7]

I suggest that you have an official vocation discernment in some congregations. If this path is your vocation, you will know it. Before the congregation informed u for admission and u decided to enter it, you tell your girlfriend about it and let her go. if its not your vocation, you come out and marry her. Vocation discernment usually takes around a few months or more, before congregations admit you in.

thats why we need Vocation Discernment. I had been struggling, but I didn’t step forward yet. but i am planning to do so , as what a priest suggested me to.

The main point is you want to and will follow God’s will, right?