M
modem_router
Guest
I have a question concerning role-play (not talking about games).
As some background, my girlfriend and I recently decided that we’d be best as great friends instead of romantic partners. This came about since we disagreed on things, things in which my beliefs as a Catholic put a wedge between us. But recently, we began talking again about our relationship and we came to a point that has left me puzzled.
See, we had a long distance relationship, so showing real signs of appropriate physical affection was impossible unless we met in real life. In the meantime, what we had been doing was typing things like “*pecks your cheek/lips/forehead” or “*hugs you tight.” I realize that these were never a substitute for real physical affection, and that they were role-play, but role-play used to show each other that we were attracted to each other and that we loved each other.
She has always expressed how much cuddling means to her, and by “cuddling,” I mean us being in the same bed or couch lying down for warmth and comfort. We had been role-playing that type of cuddling until I felt uncomfortable with it. Based on all I have learned, I am not positive that a dating couple should do that in real life, and therefore, I felt it bore some harm even in fantasy. I thought it might be scandalous.
I told her flat out that if we met in real life, I would not sleep in the same bed or cuddle in a manner that is reserved for marriage. I also told her that I’d feel pretty scummy role playing actions that I’d later not do if we met. That seems really mean. But she tells me that she is aware of what I wouldn’t do in real life, and that all she wants for now is to be able to role-play a cuddling scenario with me (all while knowing I would not do so in real life), and in doing so, continuing our relationship beyond something platonic.
She asked me what I feel about this, and I was dumbfounded. I really couldn’t give her an answer. On the one hand, it’s not real. We’re not physically able to cuddle on the same bed or be so close. Additionally, she knows that I will not partake in erotic or sexual role-plays and she doesn’t seek them. The role-play she wants is confined to just simply cuddling and being warm and comfy, lying together, perhaps kissing, massaging our scalps and backs. She is also aware of my beliefs regarding the matter when it comes to our behavior in real life.
But on the other hand, I have this doubt. I don’t know if I’m being too strict or if I’m as well versed in my faith as I thought. She wants this role-play because it comforts her, and if it’s not morally wrong or neutral, I’d love to partake in this activity. But I am really lost, and I’d like to hear what anyone has to say. Is this a good idea or is this something we should avoid?
As some background, my girlfriend and I recently decided that we’d be best as great friends instead of romantic partners. This came about since we disagreed on things, things in which my beliefs as a Catholic put a wedge between us. But recently, we began talking again about our relationship and we came to a point that has left me puzzled.
See, we had a long distance relationship, so showing real signs of appropriate physical affection was impossible unless we met in real life. In the meantime, what we had been doing was typing things like “*pecks your cheek/lips/forehead” or “*hugs you tight.” I realize that these were never a substitute for real physical affection, and that they were role-play, but role-play used to show each other that we were attracted to each other and that we loved each other.
She has always expressed how much cuddling means to her, and by “cuddling,” I mean us being in the same bed or couch lying down for warmth and comfort. We had been role-playing that type of cuddling until I felt uncomfortable with it. Based on all I have learned, I am not positive that a dating couple should do that in real life, and therefore, I felt it bore some harm even in fantasy. I thought it might be scandalous.
I told her flat out that if we met in real life, I would not sleep in the same bed or cuddle in a manner that is reserved for marriage. I also told her that I’d feel pretty scummy role playing actions that I’d later not do if we met. That seems really mean. But she tells me that she is aware of what I wouldn’t do in real life, and that all she wants for now is to be able to role-play a cuddling scenario with me (all while knowing I would not do so in real life), and in doing so, continuing our relationship beyond something platonic.
She asked me what I feel about this, and I was dumbfounded. I really couldn’t give her an answer. On the one hand, it’s not real. We’re not physically able to cuddle on the same bed or be so close. Additionally, she knows that I will not partake in erotic or sexual role-plays and she doesn’t seek them. The role-play she wants is confined to just simply cuddling and being warm and comfy, lying together, perhaps kissing, massaging our scalps and backs. She is also aware of my beliefs regarding the matter when it comes to our behavior in real life.
But on the other hand, I have this doubt. I don’t know if I’m being too strict or if I’m as well versed in my faith as I thought. She wants this role-play because it comforts her, and if it’s not morally wrong or neutral, I’d love to partake in this activity. But I am really lost, and I’d like to hear what anyone has to say. Is this a good idea or is this something we should avoid?
