Feeling depressed and worried about confession

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hopeforfaith

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It’s just that, I’ve just realized I have to confess for a mortal sin that I’ve committed in the past. I’ve just realized it is a mortal sin recently. And I started think what if there are many other things that I did in the past that I was wrong but I dont know? What if it happens again in the future? What will happen if I do something because of temptations and thinking it was all right? What if I never realized it was wrong and I didn’t confess? Perhaps at that moment I realize how fragile humanity is. I am much calmer now but this question still bugs me. I am just scared about making mistakes. I am starting to lose faith in myself. What was wrong with me? What is wrong with me? My judgements were so bad. How do I know if everything I know isn’t just wishful thinking? How do I know that everything I do can be completely right? I know perhaps for the next few months I will be so paranoid and critical about myself that I can lose my peace of mind.

Also, I’m quite nervous about going to confession on this Sunday. It’s like a burden right now, though praying helps, I still have my moments of depression. Are there any prayers or things I can do to make me make a good confession and have a peaceful state of mind? Thanks!
 
hopeforfaith said:
It’s just that, I’ve just realized I have to confess for a mortal sin that I’ve committed in the past. I’ve just realized it is a mortal sin recently. And I started think what if there are many other things that I did in the past that I was wrong but I dont know? What if it happens again in the future? What will happen if I do something because of temptations and thinking it was all right? What if I never realized it was wrong and I didn’t confess? Perhaps at that moment I realize how fragile humanity is. I am much calmer now but this question still bugs me. I am just scared about making mistakes. I am starting to lose faith in myself. What was wrong with me? What is wrong with me? My judgements were so bad. How do I know if everything I know isn’t just wishful thinking? How do I know that everything I do can be completely right? I know perhaps for the next few months I will be so paranoid and critical about myself that I can lose my peace of mind.

Also, I’m quite nervous about going to confession on this Sunday. It’s like a burden right now, though praying helps, I still have my moments of depression. Are there any prayers or things I can do to make me make a good confession and have a peaceful state of mind? Thanks!
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Place more trust in God. He is just and knows our hearts and minds. If we commit a sin without realizing that the action is sinful, God takes that into consideration. Remember the three elements of a mortal sin are:
  1. Grave matter - Serious enough to separate you from God
  2. Full advertence on the part of the intellect - That you understand that the matter is sinful.
  3. Full consent of the will - That you freely choose to commit the grave matter knowing that it is sinful.
You are doing what you should be doing. When you realize that an action, an inaction, or a thought is sinful, you are returning to the confessional and confessing. Understand, however, that should you forget to confess a sin through no fault of your own (bad memory, didn’t know it was a sin, etc) you will still be forgiven. God knows your heart and He knows that you are not willingly holding back the sin. When it’s remembered, just go back (as you are doing) and confess it.

Lastly, have more faith that God is just and yearns to forgive you. He is NOT sitting in Heaven with a list and checking them off to see if you forget anything. He created the universe; surely He has the ability and the desire to forgive your sins. God bless.
 
In the confessional “these and all my sins” are absolved, including forgotten sins, so long as they were not omitted deliberately. I have been told that as I progress in faith, I will often remember some things that I hadn’t thought of before, or hadn’t realized were sin, so don’t worry if you can’t remember or don’t know at first. Go through an examination of conscience, and note whatever comes into your mind right away; don’t worry about trying to force your memory. 🙂
 
hopeforfaith said:
It’s just that, I’ve just realized I have to confess for a mortal sin that I’ve committed in the past. I’ve just realized it is a mortal sin recently. And I started think what if there are many other things that I did in the past that I was wrong but I dont know? What if it happens again in the future? What will happen if I do something because of temptations and thinking it was all right? What if I never realized it was wrong and I didn’t confess? Perhaps at that moment I realize how fragile humanity is. I am much calmer now but this question still bugs me. I am just scared about making mistakes. I am starting to lose faith in myself. What was wrong with me? What is wrong with me? My judgements were so bad. How do I know if everything I know isn’t just wishful thinking? How do I know that everything I do can be completely right? I know perhaps for the next few months I will be so paranoid and critical about myself that I can lose my peace of mind.

Also, I’m quite nervous about going to confession on this Sunday. It’s like a burden right now, though praying helps, I still have my moments of depression. Are there any prayers or things I can do to make me make a good confession and have a peaceful state of mind? Thanks!
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I’d like to reassure you, but some of what you describe is what we all SHOULD experience when we sin! I look forward to confession, but I am never serene about it. Actually the process of confessing is always difficult, sometimes excruciating. It’s afterward, once I am absolved, that is a tremendous relief.

But dear one, be GLAD that you now know that you have another sin to let go of! God has shone a light upon that aspect of your life, so you can purge it and get closer to Him! You can be assured that He will continue to polish you, as long as you are here on earth. I have confessed several mortal sins that I had NO IDEA were mortal, just since joining CAF, after the last 20 years since my reversion. Since I was just 10 when my mother died, and my father did not return to the Church after that, I never got the instruction in the faith that I would need to truly understand Church teaching. Never learned about Humanae Vitae. Lots of gaps in the formation of my conscience.

Please consider getting a spiritual director. That’s where I’m headed. Someone who can guide me through the rough spots, help me understand more of where I’ve been and where I’m headed, and give me solid advice on how to live a holier life. But even then, as St. Paul said, I know I will do what I do not want to do, and NOT do what I want to do. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

If you can get in some adoration time, that always calms my troubled spirit. Just being there with Jesus makes my concerns fade away. Also, pray the rosary. Mary, our Blessed Mother, gives us comfort if we but ask her.

Also, during confession, we usually say, “For these sins, and any that I have unintentionally omitted, I am sorry and repent.” Or, “For these sins and all the sins in my past that I have forgotten, I am heartily sorry and repent.” So that covers all the muck and mire you either forgot or didn’t even know about. God LOVES YOU and wants you to be with Him.

Do not let your heart be troubled. The Psalms are wonderful for prayer and reflection when our spirits are in distress.

:gopray:

God bless you.
 
went to confession yesterday evening at a Lenten service with communal and individual confession…I feel new again.

thank the Lord for the wonderful graces and this so much needed Sacrament that renews our souls…👍
 
If you don’t have a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, I urge you to get one. It answers so many of these questions that haunt us at 4:37 AM. When you leave confession, you will feel so uplifted, unworried, and made new. God bless you.
 
Thank you for all your reples. Today I went to confession yet I still feel worried. I’ve already confessed everything I could think of at that moment but instill forgot some.
Such as once I checked if I am having menstruation in front of the crucifix, it was behind me and I didn’t realize that but once I did, I went back to the toilet instead. Aside from that I sometimes I lied but when I rethink it I don’t think it was the truth. Also, I don’t know if I should mention that in a play, once I had to dress suggestively because of the character I was playing, but it was just like wearing a swimsuit with pants. I forgot about these and I didn’t say "Please forgive any sins I’ve forgotten as the priest was starting to pray for me and it didn’t seem good to interrupt. I am having a collective reconciliation at school tomorrow. Is it good enough?
 
hopeforfaith said:
Thank you for all your reples. Today I went to confession yet I still feel worried. I’ve already confessed everything I could think of at that moment but instill forgot some.
Such as once I checked if I am having menstruation in front of the crucifix, it was behind me and I didn’t realize that but once I did, I went back to the toilet instead. Aside from that I sometimes I lied but when I rethink it I don’t think it was the truth. Also, I don’t know if I should mention that in a play, once I had to dress suggestively because of the character I was playing, but it was just like wearing a swimsuit with pants. I forgot about these and I didn’t say "Please forgive any sins I’ve forgotten as the priest was starting to pray for me and it didn’t seem good to interrupt. I am having a collective reconciliation at school tomorrow. Is it good enough?
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Dear one, you are very worried about things. Some of these worries are totally unnecessary.

The first one is not a sin at all - menstruation is a perfectly natural and God-given human function, nothing at all to be ashamed of and certainly nothing that Our Lord who created and knows all about your body would be troubled about in the slightest.

And sometimes a girl just needs to check when she needs to check! Would it help you to know that St Teresa of Avila prayed while using the toilet?

The swimsuit I cannot advise on - there are swimsuits and swimsuits, if you get my drift. Not all are immodest by any means. Much depends on context as well - an actor portraying Judas, for example, has to act in some pretty awful ways, but the intent is not to entice others to sin, quite the opposite. As with portraying a ‘bad character’ on stage or screen, so with wearing ‘bad clothes’. Without knowing what role you were playing it is impossible to say.
 
Oh it’s a great relief that Now I know I was thinking too much. I was playing Sandy from Grease and that swimsuit is actually an one piece. Also, I’m just thinking if I ever stole a girl’s boyfriend… Well I did not make any deliberate attempts to try to get him away from his girlfriend or get him to like me in that way. But looking back, I think he liked me back then and it wasn’t until he broke up with his girlfriend that I started to initiate more flirty interactions with him. Perhaps I’m thinking too much again… I am starting to worry if at that time if he haven’t really broke up with her. But his friend said so and it was on his Facebook. At that time I thought they’ve broken up… Okay maybe I’m staring to get paranoid. But thanks for replying, it makes me feel calmer 🙂
 
hopeforfaith said:
It’s just that, I’ve just realized I have to confess for a mortal sin that I’ve committed in the past. I’ve just realized it is a mortal sin recently. And I started think what if there are many other things that I did in the past that I was wrong but I dont know? What if it happens again in the future? What will happen if I do something because of temptations and thinking it was all right? What if I never realized it was wrong and I didn’t confess?
Click to expand...
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. The Lord is not out to get you. He is not trying to catch you in a mistake. If you did not realize something was a mortal sin at the time, then it is not. You cannot commit mortal sin unknowingly. To be a mortal sin, it has to be serious matter, and you have to KNOW it’s serious matter, and fully consent to it anyway.

Be at peace.

God is not trying to catch you in a mistake.

But the devil does like to sow confusion.
 
Well, I know I should feel calm after doing the confession. But I kept on thinking how I forgot to mention somethings. Part of my confession was about reading inappropriate materials online like porn, but I didn’t say if I knew how serious it is. Actually, I’m not quite sure how serious this is. Does it make my confession invalid? Also, I’d like to ask is reading slash okay? I used to read it, but now I only joke about it as a parody to a certain work I’m reading for school and I skip the kissing parts and the sex parts. Plus, is listening to online songs from youtube okay? Because they’re illegally uploaded, isn’t it?

I do hope I can find peace amid all these… Will collective reconciliation make me feel better?
 
It kind of seems to me as though you may be becoming scrupulous. I hadn’t been to confession in 7 or 8 years, I finally went, confessed everything I could think of, and then afterwards all these additional sins or mistakes I had made became clear to me. So I went back to Confession and started confessing everything else from the past 7 or 8 years that I could think of. However, the priest told me afterwards that some of the things I had confessed were serious matter and some weren’t, and that he felt I was in danger of becoming scrupulous. So he advised me not to confess anymore sins from my past, and only to confess “new” sins. I was relieved to hear him say that b/c I would have just kept thinking of more and more sins from my past and doubting God’s mercy. I recently “forgot” the priest’s advice and told him I had thought of some serious sins from my past. He asked if I had willingly omitted them from a past confession. When I told him no, he said sometimes sins we remember later from our past ARE serious matter but we may have not been mature enough in our faith to realize how serious they were at the time we committed them; therefore, if we have done the best we can to confess all our sins at a particular confession. we are forgiven. He said if I remember anything else, just to ask God directly for forgiveness, learn from my mistakes, and move on. Now, I am just telling you what my priest (whom I go to regularly) tells ME. I am to be obedient to my confessor, as we all are. I would recommend that you go to your priest whom you regularly confess to and explain to him everything you have told us here. And then follow his instructions on what he wants you to confess. I understand what the Catechism says about confessing serious sins from the past when we remember them, and that is the general rule we are to follow. But for some of us who are scrupulous and often doubt God’s mercy, our spiritual director (priest) may have other instructions for us. Bottom line: don’t listen to ME, listen to your priest and be obedient to him. And I would recommend that you stay away from ALL impure materials b/c we don’t even want to “flirt” with those kinds of things, as they may become a near occasion of sin.
 
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