- Status
K
katiecall87
Guest
I was baptised at 14 and confirmed at 16 or 17. I can’t clearly remember. I know that I took confirmation classes at my parish, but that many of the parishes came together and did a huge confirmation for all of the diocese at Rose of Lima church. I have checked both my old parish and Rose of Lima and neither side has documentation of my confirmation. It’s very strange. I’ve been told to look for pictures of the confirmation that might have the date on them. I am in the process of trying to get help from my dad on this.
I have also asked my husband’s parents. They remember where he was baptised, but are not in contact with that church anymore and are not sure if they even keep documentation of such things. I am hoping to get in touch w the church myself and see what they can draft up for me.
As for your other question- I know that living as brother and sister is something I should easily be able to do. Truthfully, though, I have been hesitant to even ask my husband about it- not because I don’t think he would be supportive, but because I know he would relate to why I would want to- so it would feel silly and pointless for him- and to be honest it feels that way to me too. I don’t FEEL like I have an invalid marriage so it’s hard for me to motivate myself to give up something that I feel enriches my marriage? It’s just an awkward situation and I probably need to pray and sort out my priorities.
K
katiecall87
Guest
Thank you for your encouragement. 
K
Kei
Guest
Validating her marriage is a little different from marriage prep, methinks.
Q
QwertyGirl
Guest
The concept of validation seems a little silly to me also, especially for a couple who have been married for 11 years with a family. I understand it fully, but I disagree with it. But that is just me. I am agnostic. I just encourage the poster to think things through 100%. If it works for her, what I think of it doesn’t really matter. I do wish the Catholic Church would use other language though, as it can be very damaging for young children to hear that their parents marriage is “invalid” . They shouldn’t be subjected to that unless they are old enough to understand all of the intricacies within the Catholic Church.
Last edited:
X
Xanthippe_Voorhees
Guest
Well, it can be damaging for young children to hear that their parents did anything wrong. This doesn’t just extend to Church rules. Sharing too much information with children is not healthy.Kei:
The concept of validation seems a little silly to me also, especially for a couple who have been married for 11 years with a family. I understand it fully, but I disagree with it. But that is just me. I am agnostic. I just encourage the poster to think things through 100%. If it works for her, what I think of it doesn’t really matter. I do wish the Catholic Church would use other language though, as it can be very damaging for young children to hear that their parents marriage is “invalid” . They shouldn’t be subjected to that unless they are old enough to understand all of the intricacies within the Catholic Church.
K
Kei
Guest
It’s like a state. If you were to go out and put a ring on someone’s finger and say, “I marry you,” and then act like you’re married, the state won’t count you as married. You’d simply be living together. It’s like that.
I think she’s thought things through quite a lot. How I wish more would truly think things through! She’s been through a lot. She knows where her home is. Her main issue is feeling like she’s alone in it without enough support, but she knows the Church is her home, and I presume she believes in Her as holding the Truth in full.
I think she’s thought things through quite a lot. How I wish more would truly think things through! She’s been through a lot. She knows where her home is. Her main issue is feeling like she’s alone in it without enough support, but she knows the Church is her home, and I presume she believes in Her as holding the Truth in full.
K
katiecall87
Guest
I prefer to think of it, personally, as this: to me, my marriage IS valid, but… how does my priest know that? He doesn’t. It could be that I have a very bad marriage or a marriage that isn’t healthy in a Catholic way. Yes, many catholics married in the church have hard or troubling marriages- but they went through preparation and the church did everything it could to prepare them. In my case- I wasn’t sheltered by the church in this way, so the church doesn’t know much about my marriage.
The church isn’t giving me a new marriage and saying that my old one was invalid- they are looking at my marriage and recognizing that yes, just like I felt, my marriage is sacramental- so they bless the marriage and I am able to be in full communion w the church again- everyone happy.
I just wish it was easier to accomplish. I admit I feel silly about going through marriage prep courses, but the reason the priest wants to do this is because I never went through them before. He feels even if I don’t ‘need’ them- perhaps I can offer really valuable insight to other couples going through the programs who don’t have the 11 years experience I already do.
I can appreciate that, just frustrating.
At any rate- I definitely have not used language like ‘invalid’ around my sons. They are so young, I haven’t even discussed the matter w them yet. Their experience w church is simply showing up and attending right now- getting their blessing while others get communion- and I tell them it’s because they need to go to ‘school’ for it first. They’ve never thought of it as odd. If anything- they are just very very bored at church in general. The content is still too far above them and they don’t seem to be gaining anything from it.
I miss when parishes used to have children’s liturgy. I really wish they would bring that back.
I
Irishmom2
Guest
OP, no where in your post did you say you went and spoke with a priest about your situations. If I missed that, I apologize. But really, that would be the best person to advise you. Call the parish office and make an appointment to speak with a priest. If the person answering the phone asks what it is about, just say it is of a personal nature. Try as they may, there are staff members that give misleading information sometimes, trying to help. You need a priest. I wish you every blessing, and welcome home!
E
Elf01
Guest
I don’t think it’s technically correct but I do think that it is one of the reasons the form requirement was introduced.
Glad you’re looking at it in a positive way.
Glad you’re looking at it in a positive way.
- Status