Feeling discouraged about faith

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I’m currently a freshman guy in college, and recently I’ve been feeling a little discouraged with the whole waiting for marriage thing and my faith in general. I’ve always felt very strongly about both and never really doubted before. I know some people that are waiting and some who aren’t, but the ratio definitely favors those who aren’t. I’m feeling discouraged mainly because
  1. I feel like I’m missing out on something almost everyone else and many of my friends are experiencing (they are genuinely good, kind, wonderful, amazing, uplifting, and even fairly religious friends, they just aren’t always abstaining from sex).
  2. I feel like I’m never going to end up marrying someone who is actually waiting as well.
  3. It just doesn’t seem realistic anymore.
I’m also struggling with my faith a little bit in other areas. I’m not sure if I really believe in God anymore. I’m a science major and I’m well versed in science vs religion issues and am well aware that they are perfectly compatible. I just don’t see a reason to actually believe that they are both true. I can observe science, but God is just this abstract, non tangible thing that I don’t really see any explicit evidence for. Sure there are things in the Universe I can’t explain, but I don’t see why these can’t just be reduced to a set of equations and concepts we just haven’t unraveled yet. I don’t see why we need God to account for any of these things like the complexity of life or the Big Bang or evolution…etc.

It’s not like I’m a lapsed Catholic or anything though and these thoughts and feelings are just coming out of me not caring or ignoring my faith. I go to mass 2-3 times a week and receive confession usually once a week. I feel a little better when I’m at mass and receiving the eucharist, but I can’t keep my doubts away for long and it’s just very depressing and frustrating to deal with.

Thoughts?

Sorry that’s a lot of stuff to deal with, but any help and/or prayers are really appreciated.
 
tearsdontfall said:

“1) I feel like I’m missing out on something almost everyone else and many of my friends are experiencing (they are genuinely good, kind, wonderful, amazing, uplifting, and even fairly religious friends, they just aren’t always abstaining from sex).”

They are abstaining some of the time, just not voluntarily.

Your friends probably aren’t sharing the sad and embarrassing aspects of their new lives.

“2) I feel like I’m never going to end up dating or marrying someone who is actually waiting as well.”

If you wait, you’ll make it easier for others to wait, too.

And even if your future spouse has a past of some kind, it will be easier if you don’t (as long as you don’t hold it over her head in some unpleasant way). It’s like with student loans–if Chris has no student loans and he marries Jasmine who has $40,000 in student loans, they are better off than if both of them had $40,000 in student loans for a total of $80,000.

“3) It just doesn’t seem realistic anymore.”

It’s never been easy.

People often make a mess of their sex lives–they cheat, they lie, they hurt people, they have abortions, they have kids they’re not ready for, they treat their kids to a carousel of live-in boyfriends and girlfriends (some nice, some not).

Then there’s the drunk girl problem–a lot of your options at your age would be young women who were not actually capable of giving consent (even if they didn’t seem that drunk), and who would believe that you had sexually assaulted them. Myths about equality aside, 120-pound 18-year-old women really can’t drink that much without becoming impaired.

“It’s not like I’m a lapsed Catholic or anything though and these thoughts and feelings are just coming out of me not caring or ignoring my faith. I go to mass 2-3 times a week and receive confession usually once a week. I feel a little better when I’m at mass and receiving the eucharist, but I can’t keep my doubts away for long and it’s just very depressing and frustrating to deal with.”

Be working on the intellectual side of your faith–look for talks on campus and around town.

Don’t just be “waiting”–be becoming the sort of person who is worth waiting for.

And go ahead and date some nice girls.
 
I remember feeling many of the same things you are feeling now, when I was in college 20 years ago. I don’t have a quick fix for you, but here are a couple suggestions:
tearsdontfall said:
  1. I feel like I’m missing out on something almost everyone else and many of my friends are experiencing (they are genuinely good, kind, wonderful, amazing, uplifting, and even fairly religious friends, they just aren’t always abstaining from sex).
  2. I feel like I’m never going to end up marrying someone who is actually waiting as well.
  3. It just doesn’t seem realistic anymore.
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So much depends on who your friends are. I am sure that your friends are good people as you said. But if they are engaging in bad behaviors (even if they are good people otherwise, which again I don’t doubt), then you will experience a lot of pressure to engage in those behaviors too. And the pressure may not even come directly from your friends; it may be something you put on yourself, as you compare yourself to your peers. When I was in college, I experienced this with drinking more than with sex. Most of my college friends drank alcohol to huge excess. I usually drank considerably less than they did, and at the time, it seemed like I was the sober voice of reason, because I only compared myself to my circle of friends, not to any objective standard. Looking back now, I realize that “drinking less than my friends drank” was still extremely excessive, and I can’t believe how badly I abused alcohol in college. (And I experienced the same thing with sex too, only to a lesser extent.)

So one radical thing you could consider would be to transfer to a Catholic college, where many or most of the students at least try to follow the church’s teaching with regard to pre-marital sex. Some colleges that I think are probably good in this respect would include Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ave Maria University, and Christendom College – though I know there are others. I think that the Cardinal Newman Society has a list of colleges that are authentically Catholic.

But even if you can’t take the radical step of changing colleges, you can at least try to meet some people at your college who are trying to follow the church’s teaching, especially on sexual issues. I would recommend that you see if your college has a Newman Center, where you may be able to meet other faithful Catholics. If not, then see if they have a chapter of FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students). If they don’t have either of these, then see if they have any type of on-campus ministry to Catholics. If they have nothing of the kind, then maybe you can transfer to another nearby college that does have one of these groups.

I’m not asking you to cast out your current friends. I’m just saying maybe you can add some new ones, who will help to support you in what you are trying to do, and act as a balance to the influence of your current friends in that regard.

(And by meeting other faithful Catholics, maybe you will even meet that special someone, and the two of you will get married. Then you won’t have to worry so much about abstinence.) 🙂
tearsdontfall said:
I’m also struggling with my faith a little bit in other areas. I’m not sure if I really believe in God anymore. I’m a science major and I’m well versed in science vs religion issues and am well aware that they are perfectly compatible. I just don’t see a reason to actually believe that they are both true. I can observe science, but God is just this abstract, non tangible thing that I don’t really see any explicit evidence for. Sure there are things in the Universe I can’t explain, but I don’t see why these can’t just be reduced to a set of equations and concepts we just haven’t unraveled yet. I don’t see why we need God to account for any of these things like the complexity of life or the Big Bang or evolution…etc.

It’s not like I’m a lapsed Catholic or anything though and these thoughts and feelings are just coming out of me not caring or ignoring my faith. I go to mass 2-3 times a week and receive confession usually once a week. I feel a little better when I’m at mass and receiving the eucharist, but I can’t keep my doubts away for long and it’s just very depressing and frustrating to deal with.
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I think that this is the bigger issue, but I don’t think it is completely separate from the abstinence issue. I have found from experience that it is easier to believe in God when he is not asking us to take on things that we find exceedingly difficult (like remaining abstinent amidst a sex-saturated college culture). Finding serious, committed, faithful Catholic friends should help here too. I also would recommend that you read “Modern Physics and Ancient Faith” by Stephen Barr. He is a professor of physics, and he makes the case for faith in God being completely reasonable and compatible with current scientific knowledge.
 
I would add a few more suggestions:
  • Make sure than you are regularly consuming at least a small but steady amount of good Catholic media. This could be books, e-books, TV, radio, internet radio, satellite radio, podcasts, DVDs, internet video, web sites, or whatever format you like. But find some good Catholic publications/broadcasts/content in whatever format, and watch/listen/read it on a regular basis. This will help to make sure that you are getting some good messages to counter some of the secular values you are probably absorbing from other media (e.g., TV shows which portray extra-marital sex as completely normal and no big deal – whether it is shows from my generation like Seinfeld, Cheers, and Frasier, or newer shows like Big Bang Theory or whatever else you kids watch these days). 😉
  • Make sure to pray at least once every day, and ideally more than once per day. If you don’t know what to pray, you might try the Divine Office / Liturgy of the Hours.
  • Frequent the sacraments, especially Penance/Reconciliation.
  • Read the Bible, maybe a chapter a day, or at least a couple of chapters per week. A good study Bible would be helpful; I highly recommend the Ignatius Study Bible, which currently you can buy as individual books for individual books of the Bible, or as a single edition for the whole New Testament. (I find the individual books less intimidating than the entire NT volume, because with one of the smaller individual books, you feel a greater sense of accomplishment when you finish reading the whole thing.)
 
tearsdontfall said:
I’m currently a freshman guy in college, and recently I’ve been feeling a little discouraged with the whole waiting for marriage thing and my faith in general. I’ve always felt very strongly about both and never really doubted before. I know some people that are waiting and some who aren’t, but the ratio definitely favors those who aren’t. I’m feeling discouraged mainly because
  1. I feel like I’m missing out on something almost everyone else and many of my friends are experiencing (they are genuinely good, kind, wonderful, amazing, uplifting, and even fairly religious friends, they just aren’t always abstaining from sex).
  2. I feel like I’m never going to end up marrying someone who is actually waiting as well.
  3. It just doesn’t seem realistic anymore.
I’m also struggling with my faith a little bit in other areas. I’m not sure if I really believe in God anymore. I’m a science major and I’m well versed in science vs religion issues and am well aware that they are perfectly compatible. I just don’t see a reason to actually believe that they are both true. I can observe science, but God is just this abstract, non tangible thing that I don’t really see any explicit evidence for. Sure there are things in the Universe I can’t explain, but I don’t see why these can’t just be reduced to a set of equations and concepts we just haven’t unraveled yet. I don’t see why we need God to account for any of these things like the complexity of life or the Big Bang or evolution…etc.

It’s not like I’m a lapsed Catholic or anything though and these thoughts and feelings are just coming out of me not caring or ignoring my faith. I go to mass 2-3 times a week and receive confession usually once a week. I feel a little better when I’m at mass and receiving the eucharist, but I can’t keep my doubts away for long and it’s just very depressing and frustrating to deal with.

Thoughts?

Sorry that’s a lot of stuff to deal with, but any help and/or prayers are really appreciated.
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On the sex thing, well, you know the answer really. I know it is frustrating but in the big picture it really is not that hard to do. If you are called to marriage you will probably be married in the near future. You will have children running around the house and you will be proud that you and their mother waited to create life until it was a Holy act.

Step back. Look at the reality that college is a small time in your life. It may not seem like it but it is not the time in which you wish to sexually identify yourself.

Science:
My wife is a published leading scientist in her field. She is incredibly smart and logical.
She is also a theology degree holder and one of the most devout Catholics I know. I have a science background as well. I found science lead me to my faith.
In the practical world, outside of academia you will find many scientists that are not only religious but some that are even downright superstitious. I knew one scientist who was a biologist and would not allow any plant transformation experiments to be conducted when a woman was menstruating.:rolleyes: I have seen scientists from other countries and cultures use numbers and labeling superstitiously, hire based on the zodiac, and be a vegetarian for religious reasons. Science and reason do not necessarily go hand in hand. It is also noteworthy that some of the smartest scientists have been and are today, Catholic. In fact, the Church is quite scientific, from the vatican observatory, to the reliance of science in miracle testing.
 
When I look at a watch and know it tells some abstract thing like time, I understand that there is a watch maker behind it. I can’t understand how one can look at everything from a molecular level all the way to the awesomeness of our planet, to the galaxies around us, and not see some evidence of a divine designer. It’s as plain as your face.

I would think that someone interested in science would love to speak to the famous scientists of history and spend an hour with any of them. They are just people though. Being friends in an on-going relationship with God, the creator of the universe, seems like the most amazing relationship ever. Why wouldn’t a scientist want that?

Please continue to go to Mass and remember the Divine Mercy image in your mind frequently during the day, and say “Jesus I trust in You!” often. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to encourage and bless you today.

i168.photobucket.com/albums/u174/pennypie_2007/divinemercy.jpg
 
The others have some good thoughts and advice, but I was just going to ask if you have have FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) on your campus. If so, they are an amazing group to get involved in, and you would find friendships with other Catholic students who are trying to live their faith and may be wrestling with some of the same issues as you.

Edit: I didn’t see that Paul GH had already recommended the same thing.
 
EnglishTeacher said:
The others have some good thoughts and advice, but I was just going to ask if you have have FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) on your campus. If so, they are an amazing group to get involved in, and you would find friendships with other Catholic students who are trying to live their faith and may be wrestling with some of the same issues as you.

Edit: I didn’t see that Paul GH had already recommended the same thing.
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I second this. “FOCUS” is an excellent group with strong Catholics in it.
 
i know where you’re coming from, i’m a college student as well.

everyone else has already given good advice and honestly, you’re going to be glad you didn’t give in later on.

i will pray for you
 
Once you give your “gift” away it is gone forever, and you can never offer it to the one you will really love, honor, and cherish and want to spend the rest of your life with.
 
Thank you so much everyone! Your comments have been really encouraging and I really appreciate them. I was slightly worried that everyone would just be like ditch your friends and don’t be within 100 miles of a single person that’s not a religious zealot lol. Yes I am using a little hyperbole, but I grew up in a very conservative catholic environment (I’m 15 minutes from Franciscan University and took classes there all throughout high school) and I’ve heard some people say lots of unreasonable things like that before which has made me a little more selective and reserved when asking advice about situations like mine. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself to be a devout Catholic and loved being raised that way, it’s just that every now and then people can be a little ridiculous, and that can happen anywhere. So again, I really appreciate how charitable and understanding everyone is being. It means a lot.

As for transferring to a Catholic college, I’m actually attending a catholic college (Notre Dame) right now. I know that sometimes ND gets a bit of a bad rap in really conservative circles, but I think that is a completely inaccurate picture of us. As someone who has attended Franciscan and is now going to ND, I can definitely say that ND is every bit as faithful and committed to the Catholic faith as franciscan and there are lots of incredible, holy, and devout catholics (as well as non so devout people) at both schools. The only difference is that ND is a lot bigger and because of its academic reputation you get a good number of people who are more liberal socially (i.e. some kids aren’t going for a very religious experience). So there is more drinking and partying etc and I’ve done my fair share which I’m trying to cut back on. I think it’s a good, fun thing in moderation, I just need to make sure I have all my priorities straight and not put myself in bad situations.

When it comes to my friends though, most of them are catholic and really good people, but some of them came from much different environments than I did and sex has just been a normal casual thing since high school that was just the culture they fell into. And we all know how difficult it is without a bunch of pressure and I can thankfully say that no one close to me has ever pressured me into anything I didn’t want to do. For me personally, I know that I want to wait for marriage and be pure and live my life in a way that glorifies God, and I plan on doing so. I’m just worried that I’m going to meet someone I really really like, but that she didn’t wait and I can’t see how that wouldn’t cause problems because it’s honestly hurtful to imagine my future spouse doing that with someone else while I’m waiting for her. It just doesn’t seem right or fair that I would work so hard and put so much effort into saving myself for her, but then she wouldn’t be willing to do the same for me. I’m willing to wait, but I’m slowly realizing that the older I get the more likely it is that people have had sex before and it really seems like the vast majority of people cave at some point. And that has been wearing away at my motivation at little bit.

With the science issue, I’m actually a physics major and all my teachers so far have been really good catholics who believe in God, so it’s not like I have Richard Dawkins teaching me chem 101 if you know what I mean lol :p. And I completely agree with everyone who pointed out how logical and scientific the church is and has been throughout her history. That’s probably the only reason I’m still religious, because if Catholic teaching and logic didn’t line up so well with science I wouldn’t buy any of it and would most likely be atheist. I’m fairly certain I would have turned away from christianity all together if I was raised in a denomination that flippantly denied science or abused biblical interpretation and was just utterly devoid of all semblance of logical consistency. It’s just tough for me sometimes because I’m a lot like doubting Thomas. I want to see Jesus with my eyes more than anything in the world and have a conversation with him face to face, but it just doesn’t work like that and that makes me slightly uncertain sometimes. I just feel really grateful that God realized how my mind operates and blessed me with really good catholic parents because I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have them or the church’s wisdom and incredibly sound logic to guide me.

In the meantime though, I’m going to keep receiving the sacraments frequently and also try to consumer more catholic media as everyone suggested because I think that will be helpful. Also, I’m going to really focus on the friends I have who do see eye to eye with me on the chastity issue and allow them to influence me while keeping all my other friends in my prayers and doing my best to be a good example to everyone I’m around.
 
tearsdontfall said:

“As for transferring to a Catholic college, I’m actually attending a catholic college (Notre Dame) right now. I know that sometimes ND gets a bit of a bad rap in really conservative circles, but I think that is a completely inaccurate picture of us. As someone who has attended Franciscan and is now going to ND, I can definitely say that ND is every bit as faithful and committed to the Catholic faith as franciscan and there are lots of incredible, holy, and devout catholics (as well as non so devout people) at both schools.”

Good–hang out more with them.

“When it comes to my friends though, most of them are catholic and really good people, but some of them came from much different environments than I did and sex has just been a normal casual thing since high school that was just the culture they fell into.”

Sex can’t be casual, any more than high stakes gambling can be casual. It causes babies, even when that’s the very last thing the participants have on their minds. Unexpected pregnancy means:
  1. adoption (very unlikely these days)
  2. abortion (likely)
  3. single parenthood and a legal minimum of 18 years of child support (likely)
  4. early (and perhaps ill-advised) marriage between the parents (not likely these days in you peer group)
Don’t think of it in purely religious terms. Think about it from a secular point of view–is that a risk that makes any sense at all?

Does it make sense to have sex with a woman if you are utterly opposed to the idea of having a child with her and are not in a position to financially support a child?

“I’m just worried that I’m going to meet someone I really really like, but that she didn’t wait and I can’t see how that wouldn’t cause problems because it’s honestly hurtful to imagine my future spouse doing that with someone else while I’m waiting for her.”

If you don’t wait and she does, what about her hurt feelings?

“In the meantime though, I’m going to keep receiving the sacraments frequently and also try to consumer more catholic media as everyone suggested because I think that will be helpful. Also, I’m going to really focus on the friends I have who do see eye to eye with me on the chastity issue and allow them to influence me while keeping all my other friends in my prayers and doing my best to be a good example to everyone I’m around.”

Good!
 
tearsdontfall,

It sounds like you have a great attitude and a great outlook, and that you are largely on the right track. It certainly sounds like you are ahead of where I was in my college days.
tearsdontfall said:
As for transferring to a Catholic college, I’m actually attending a catholic college (Notre Dame) right now. I know that sometimes ND gets a bit of a bad rap in really conservative circles, but I think that is a completely inaccurate picture of us. As someone who has attended Franciscan and is now going to ND, I can definitely say that ND is every bit as faithful and committed to the Catholic faith as franciscan and there are lots of incredible, holy, and devout catholics (as well as non so devout people) at both schools. The only difference is that ND is a lot bigger and because of its academic reputation you get a good number of people who are more liberal socially (i.e. some kids aren’t going for a very religious experience). So there is more drinking and partying etc and I’ve done my fair share which I’m trying to cut back on. I think it’s a good, fun thing in moderation, I just need to make sure I have all my priorities straight and not put myself in bad situations.
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I’m glad to hear that you are finding Notre Dame to have a strong Catholic identity. I too have heard some bad things about it, but I have no first-hand experience with that college. Perhaps many of the bad things that one hears come from the fact that many of the students are fairly secular or liberal, as you pointed out.

I would guess that you have some good Catholic resources available to you there at Notre Dame, so that is a good thing. I went to a completely secular state university, and while many of the students were nominally Catholic, many of them (myself included) certainly didn’t live their lives that way very much of the time.
tearsdontfall said:
When it comes to my friends though, most of them are catholic and really good people, but some of them came from much different environments than I did and sex has just been a normal casual thing since high school that was just the culture they fell into. And we all know how difficult it is without a bunch of pressure and I can thankfully say that no one close to me has ever pressured me into anything I didn’t want to do. For me personally, I know that I want to wait for marriage and be pure and live my life in a way that glorifies God, and I plan on doing so. I’m just worried that I’m going to meet someone I really really like, but that she didn’t wait and I can’t see how that wouldn’t cause problems because it’s honestly hurtful to imagine my future spouse doing that with someone else while I’m waiting for her. It just doesn’t seem right or fair that I would work so hard and put so much effort into saving myself for her, but then she wouldn’t be willing to do the same for me. I’m willing to wait, but I’m slowly realizing that the older I get the more likely it is that people have had sex before and it really seems like the vast majority of people cave at some point. And that has been wearing away at my motivation at little bit.
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Well, I’ll say two things: First, what if you don’t wait, but then you marry a woman who did wait? Then the situation is reversed, and you don’t want to do that to your future wife.

Second, neither my wife nor I had a pure sexual past when we married. But it is my past transgressions that still occasionally haunt me, not hers. All of my regrets are for what I did before we married, not for what she did before we married. That might not be true for every couple in a similar situation, but it is true for me, and it could end up being true for you, if you ever did cave in.

(to be continued…)
 
(continued)
tearsdontfall said:
With the science issue, I’m actually a physics major and all my teachers so far have been really good catholics who believe in God, so it’s not like I have Richard Dawkins teaching me chem 101 if you know what I mean lol :p. And I completely agree with everyone who pointed out how logical and scientific the church is and has been throughout her history. That’s probably the only reason I’m still religious, because if Catholic teaching and logic didn’t line up so well with science I wouldn’t buy any of it and would most likely be atheist. I’m fairly certain I would have turned away from christianity all together if I was raised in a denomination that flippantly denied science or abused biblical interpretation and was just utterly devoid of all semblance of logical consistency. It’s just tough for me sometimes because I’m a lot like doubting Thomas. I want to see Jesus with my eyes more than anything in the world and have a conversation with him face to face, but it just doesn’t work like that and that makes me slightly uncertain sometimes. I just feel really grateful that God realized how my mind operates and blessed me with really good catholic parents because I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have them or the church’s wisdom and incredibly sound logic to guide me.
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I know how you feel about being a doubting Thomas. The way you describe your feelings is similar to what I felt about faith when I was younger – though for me it was more in my mid-20s, just after college, than during college. I think that you are probably going through what every cradle Catholic goes through at some point – the challenge of making the Catholic faith *your *faith, rather than just something that you inherited or absorbed from your parents. And that is something that won’t be worked out overnight, so please be patient.
tearsdontfall said:
In the meantime though, I’m going to keep receiving the sacraments frequently and also try to consumer more catholic media as everyone suggested because I think that will be helpful. Also, I’m going to really focus on the friends I have who do see eye to eye with me on the chastity issue and allow them to influence me while keeping all my other friends in my prayers and doing my best to be a good example to everyone I’m around.
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Sounds like a great plan. I will pray for you!
 
tearsdontfall said:
With the science issue, I’m actually a physics major and all my teachers so far have been really good catholics who believe in God, so it’s not like I have Richard Dawkins teaching me chem 101 if you know what I mean lol :p. And I completely agree with everyone who pointed out how logical and scientific the church is and has been throughout her history. That’s probably the only reason I’m still religious, because if Catholic teaching and logic didn’t line up so well with science I wouldn’t buy any of it and would most likely be atheist. I’m fairly certain I would have turned away from christianity all together if I was raised in a denomination that flippantly denied science or abused biblical interpretation and was just utterly devoid of all semblance of logical consistency. It’s just tough for me sometimes because I’m a lot like doubting Thomas. I want to see Jesus with my eyes more than anything in the world and have a conversation with him face to face, but it just doesn’t work like that and that makes me slightly uncertain sometimes. I just feel really grateful that God realized how my mind operates and blessed me with really good catholic parents because I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have them or the church’s wisdom and incredibly sound logic to guide me.
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It’s weird, the problems you are describing are the same ones that I was having when I was an undergraduate in biology a couple of years ago. Once you leave your parents house and go into a scientific environment, you start to question all the religious things you were taught growing up. I concur with the earlier posters that suggested that you try to quell these science vs. religion doubts first. Here are some more books that you might find useful:

New Proofs for the Existence of God: Contributions of Contemporary Physics and Philosophy by Fr. Robert Spitzer

The Science Before Science: A Guide to Thinking in the 21st Century by Dr. Anthony Rizzi

Fr. Spitzer is the director for the Magis Center for Faith and Reason. His book was actually what got me started on the journey to really understand the classical arguments for God’s existence. Once you start to understand real Catholic philosophy, you’ll realize that it isn’t science vs. faith at all, but two competing philosophies and the theistic philosophy is the only one that really makes sense of reality. And since you’re a physics major, all the Big Bang cosmology stuff he talks about won’t fly over your head like it did for me ;).

I haven’t read Dr. Rizzi’s book yet, but I have heard very good things about it and ordered from Amazon a couple of days ago. Apparently Dr. Rizzi is known for being able to figure out an 80 year old problem in general relativity, in addition to being a faithful Catholic physicist. He was actually on EWTN with Marcus Grodi for the Journey Home program back in 2003: ewtn.edgeboss.net/download/ewtn/audiolibrary/jh_060903.mp3. I don’t know why the audio is not so great, but maybe you should spend an hour listening to it because I think you might have a similar story to him.

Then you’ll want to look into learning philosophy, but maybe there are solid philosophy classes you could take at ND? If not, casually reading threads in the philosophy forum on CAF will help. Prof. Edward Feser’s blog is also a good resource.
tearsdontfall said:
In the meantime though, I’m going to keep receiving the sacraments frequently and also try to consumer more catholic media as everyone suggested because I think that will be helpful. Also, I’m going to really focus on the friends I have who do see eye to eye with me on the chastity issue and allow them to influence me while keeping all my other friends in my prayers and doing my best to be a good example to everyone I’m around.
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This is an excellent course of action 👍. Having that group of solid Catholic friends will help you stay rooted in good Catholic morality and will help you be a witness to your friends that don’t see eye to eye with you on the moral issues.
 
Meanwhile in Syria and Sudan Christians are being slaughtered for their faith…

catholic.com/blog/matt-fradd/oh-chastity-is-too-hard-man-up

^^^Yeah read Feser’s blog, and one or all of his books (Philosophy of Mind, Locke, The Last Superstition, Aquinas - hopefully you can find one of them in a library) he’ll give a good introduction to the classical theistic tradition of Aristotle to Aquinas, wholly foreign to the modern post-Descartes outlook which you seem to unconsciously ascribe to and which seems to be leading you to a lot of the difficulties you’re expressing.
 
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